Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, Criminal Minds.

Angel

Part 4

By
N. J. Borba

Emily faced her Monday morning with a slightly clearer head than the previous week. Talking everything out with Derek had helped immensely, and so had Scott Hayden's letter and pictures. She'd even received another one on Saturday, though she hadn't opened it yet. For some reason it was something Emily wanted to do in Derek's presence; something she wanted to share with him. She hoped it would be a happy moment, not quite as depressing as their previous encounters.

"Morning," Reid greeted as he walked by her to his desk.

"Good morning," Emily replied as cheerily as possible.

Spencer Reid dropped his messenger bag on the floor by his desk and sat. He smiled at his co-worker for a long time before finally speaking again. "Did you have a nice weekend?"

She nodded half-heartedly. But Emily tried to remain positive as she hoped to insert herself back into the real world. The people on her BAU team were some of the best friends she'd ever had in life. And fostering better relationships with all of them was something she dearly wanted. "It was kind of uneventful," she finally revealed a little more. "How about you, any hot dates?" she teased.

His face turned rosy almost instantly. "Well, yes…" he sounded a little hesitant. "I mean, not that it was hot or… well, it was a nice date. Very nice."

"You really went on a date?" Emily asked.

He was too embarrassed to be offended by her surprised tone. "I figured you already knew."

"How would I know if you didn't tell me?" she grinned, proud and happy for their resident genius. For all the troubles she had with making and maintaining friendships, Emily knew Reid had just as many issues in that area. If not more.

"Well, because… you know," he spoke in the vaguest terms possible.

She shrugged. "Know what?"

"I thought you and Angie were reconnecting now that she's attending Georgetown Law School," Reid said.

Hearing the girl's name connected to that school was a first for her. All Emily really knew was that Scott had mentioned Angie's interest in the law. Now she'd just discovered that the girl was actually attending law school, and in her own back yard no less. "We haven't actually had time to talk much," she lamely replied. "But I'm not sure what Angie has to do with you going out on a…" Emily's face paled as she finally understood. "You went out on a date with my… cousin?"

"Hi, Spencer," a friendly female voice called out from nearby.

Emily's head turned, recognizing the soft yet smoky voice of the baby she'd given up at birth; the voice she'd heard only once before. She was at a complete loss for words when Angie walked by her to greet Reid. The young doctor smiled warmly, took the girl's hands in his and kissed her cheek. Emily suddenly felt like she'd been transported to some bizarre dream state in which she could only watch what was going on, having no control over the events.

"I was just telling Emily about our date over the weekend," Reid informed the young woman. "I figured you would have already mentioned it to her."

Angie stared at the woman whom she'd only recently discovered to be her birth mother. She held no anger for the woman, more regret than anything. "Emily and I have never been very close," she maintained the lie. "There's so many years between us, and we never saw each other much," Angie concluded.

"Oh," Spencer nodded.

There was really nothing Emily could say to any of what was going on. But the dream continued to get even weirder as she watched Hotch exit his office and walk down into the bullpen to join them. "You must be Emily's cousin, Angie? I'm Aaron Hotchner," the team leader took the girl's hand and shook it. He even flashed a small smile her way. "Reid mentioned that you were studying law and might want to pick my brain about my time as a prosecutor?"

"I'd love to," Angie agreed. "But I don't want to bother you. I know you're busy."

"Not at the moment," Hotch replied. "I have about a half hour before our morning meeting. Why don't we talk in my office," he suggested.

Again Emily could only watch as the odd scenario unfolded in front of her. Hotch being overly friendly to her cousin just a few days after he'd nearly ripped her head off for the stunt she'd pulled on their case. The only thing she could think was that maybe it was his way of apologizing, in some roundabout manner. She still couldn't wrap her head around it all, though, which was why she grabbed the letter she'd been holding back on reading. Searching for some excuse, Emily stuffed it inside the nearest file folder she could find. "I, uh…" she stumbled over her words as she faced Reid. "I have this file that Morgan has been waiting for. I really need to get it to him."

With that she fled for Derek's office.

xxx

Emily plopped down in the chair across from Derek's desk and dropped the file folder onto her lap. "Reid is dating my daughter."

His brows bunched together. "Is that the punch line of some sort of joke?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "The joke is my life." Emily rested her elbows on the edge of his desk and ran both hands through her hair. "If the two of them get married Reid would be my son-in-law. And if they have kids I'll be a grandmother. I'm only thirty-nine years old, Derek. I can't be a grandmother yet."

Morgan barely managed to suppress the laughter in his throat. "Okay, first of all… take a deep breath," he instructed, watching and waiting until she followed his orders. "Now, let's back up to a point in time before they get married and start having babies."

"He kissed her on the cheek and I started to freak out," Emily noted.

Derek smiled. "Why do you think you got uncomfortable about that?"

"Oh, jeez…" she rolled her eyes and sat back in the chair. "You sound like a therapist."

"I do?" he asked. Morgan's only intent had been to help her get to the root of what was bothering her. "In that case, I happen to know a few excellent stress relief exercises we could perform," he hinted, still holding on to the hope that they might find their way back to a more intimate kind of relationship.

His suggestion caused her to smile. But the smile faded quickly as she became reflective again. "Do you ever feel like our relationship has regressed?"

A nod came in response. "But maybe that's a good thing," Morgan tried to remain optimistic, which was a rather new concept for him. "Maybe it's good that all of this happened, because it means we can start over and try to build something new between us; take it slow this time," he suggested.

"You'd really be willing to do that?" she asked.

"If it means being in your life as more than just someone I work with then, yes, definitely," he agreed.

"So, do you have any idea why I freaked out about Reid kissing my…" it was still strange to even think about the girl being her daughter. So she settled on, "Angie?" Emily thought it over herself. "I guess it could be an age thing. He is older than her."

He nodded again. "Only by five years," Derek pointed out. "And they are both consenting adults."

"What about Angie?" she persisted. "Do you think she's only dating Reid in order to get to me?"

Morgan smiled knowingly as he regarded her. "I haven't met the girl so I couldn't really say what her intentions are. But I think it's pretty obvious what's going on with you. Maybe you didn't raise her, Emily, but it's a natural instinct for parents to love and want to protect their children. At least the good ones feel that way. In my opinion, your concern for both Angie and Reid displays nothing but good parenting qualities."

"Right, we'll just forget the part where I told her not to be interested in me, and also the part in which we haven't spoken for several weeks since," Emily sighed.

"Next step in your therapy process is to stop being so hard on yourself."

"Easier said than done," Emily mumbled, but caved a little. "So, what I do now?"

"What do you think you should do?" he countered.

Her eyes rolled again. "You sure you didn't minor in psychology?"

"Byproduct of the profiling job," he shrugged. "And you're avoiding the question. Do you think maybe you should try talking to Angie again?"

"No."

"Okay, how about confiding in Reid about Angie being your daughter?"

"I don't think so."

Derek sighed, realizing she wasn't going to be so easily cajoled into talking to anyone but him. Part of him liked that, her dependence on him. But most of his rational brain knew she needed to start working on building stronger relationships with other people beside him. "How about talking to your mother?"

"You've got to be kidding me," she gave him a dismissive shake of the head.

"Is there anyone else you'd feel comfortable talking to about this?"

"I told Rossi…"

"You did?" Derek was curious about how that had come to pass.

She flashed him a half smile. "It was all wrapped up in Matthew's case, and you weren't exactly on my side back then."

"It was never about sides, Emily. It was about belief."

"Fair enough," Emily let it drop. "Don't be so upset. Rossi mostly guessed. He dragged what little he could out of me, an altered version of the truth."

Morgan's little green monster retreated. He knew she was trying very hard, and he didn't want her to think she was failing in any way. "I don't want you to push yourself into talking to anyone. Just promise me you'll think about it, okay?"

"I will," she promised. Her eyes drifted down to the file on her lap, which had been forgotten for a short time. Emily finally pulled the letter free and held it out toward Derek. "This came for me over the weekend. I was wondering if you'd read it to me?" she asked.

Derek held the envelope, realizing how much trust she was putting in him. "I'd be honored." He tore open the item and began reading Scott Hayden's words aloud. They were ordered in list form; highlights from the girl's life. Some good, some sad. How she'd stayed in her room for a whole week after the death of her mother. A broken wrist in second grade from falling off the monkey bars. Karate class and piano lessons. There was even a blurb about her first dance in junior high. "You okay?" Morgan asked when he was done.

She nodded. "Thank you," Emily said, though the words seemed inadequate recompense for his gift of friendship.

xxx

Emily stood on the front steps that lead to the old stone church's entrance. Baltimore was a place she hadn't visited in a while; a place she tried to avoid due to the memories that lingered there for her. Funny that she'd ended up at the BAU in Quantico, Virginia – not too far across state lines from Maryland. In fact, one of the first cases she'd worked at the BAU had involved the Russian Mob in Baltimore. She'd actually chosen to work with her mother during that case rather than be sent to the city, which was telling.

Derek had been right about talking to someone besides him. Thankfully the work day had been slow enough for her to leave early.

As she entered through the thick oak doors of the church, the memories all came back; long buried in her head as well as her heart. Emily stopped just inside the nave, reflexively dipping her fingers in the holy water tureen and crossing herself. Some things were so ingrained in a person that they were never forgotten. Each small step she took down the center aisle led her much deeper into the past, but it was a gentle male voice that made her journey complete.

"Hello, Emily," a short, slender man greeted her.

She turned to spot him on her left. He wore a clerical collar along with blue jeans; not typical priest attire. Emily knew that all too well from her years of Catholic education and mass attendance. But this rosy cheeked old man, with his balding head, warm smile and curious eyes, was anything but typical. She'd discovered that many years ago. "Father Quinn," her words were soft, somewhat surprised. "You're still…"

"Alive?" he asked with a brighter grin.

"Here, I was going to say," Emily countered. But his jocular nature had already put her at ease, just as it had twenty four years ago.

"It's certainly been a while since your last visit, child," he added, motioning her over to where he sat in the front pew.

A few uncertain steps were taken toward him as she asked, "You remember me?"

"Of course, child," he intoned. "There are people in our lives that come and go, but some we never forget." Father Quinn watched her for a few more moments as she finally sat down near him. "Did she find you?" the kindly priest asked.

"Did who find me?" Emily tensed again.

His smile returned. "Young Angela… she's been looking for you for a while now," he informed her.

"And you told her where to look," Emily guessed.

"No, child," his head shook. "I made a promise that your secret would always be safe with me and I have never betrayed that," he insisted.

Emily was not convinced. "But how do you even know that Angie is the baby I had? I never told you that. I just left her here and ran away," she revealed, having never actually spoken the truth of those words aloud before.

"Child, you came here every day after school to talk with me about what was going on. Every day for six months, and then one night I find a baby in my church and I never see or hear from you again. What did you think I'd conclude? You only left her here because you knew I'd look after her; find her a good, safe place to grow up," Quinn continued. "In fact, I had parents in mind before you ever left her here."

"The Hayden's," she whispered.

He nodded. "Scott and Miranda were married in this very church some five years before you first came to see me," Quinn explained. "They agonized for many years over not being able to have a child of their own, and I counseled them on their troubles numerous times. When I first laid Angela in their arms they were besotted. I knew that I'd made the right choice. And that you, as well, had made the right choice," he insisted. "It took several months to have the baby officially declared abandoned and available for adoption," Quinn continued.

A spike of pain stabbed Emily upon hearing the word: abandoned. But she kept listening.

"Under my advisement, Scott and Miranda were able to keep the baby with them during that entire period. They named the child and had her baptized before the adoption was ever legal," he concluded.

"And you really never told them about me?"

"Only that you had wanted to do the best thing for your child," Father Quinn replied. "But there were times I wanted to tell young Angela about you. When she reached high school the poor girl reminded me so much of you. She was a lost soul with no female role model in her life. And Miranda's death left Scott raw for so many years," he shook his head. "Have you spoken to Angela about any of that?"

She swallowed. "No, we've barely spoken at all. I told her it would be best if we didn't have a relationship," Emily confessed.

"May I ask why, child?"

"Because…" Emily sighed heavily. "I've done a lot in the years since you knew me. The job I work is very dangerous and there are people out there who might want to hurt anyone I'm close to, in order to hurt me."

"So you're trying to protect her?" Quinn surmised. "That is admirable, but do you think it might also be an excuse?" he pushed, but didn't wait for an answer. "Angela is an adult now. She knows the risks life holds, and contacting you was one of the biggest risks she's ever taken. You're worried about her, which tells me you care about her, which means you are a good role model even if you don't yet realize it."

Emily sighed again. "You sound like Derek."

His eyes twinkled with delight. "And who is this Derek fellow?"

"A good friend," she smiled a little just to say those words.

Quinn nodded. "Well, child, I am very glad to know you've finally made some good friends in your life. Now, perhaps, you can work to build a relationship with your daughter?"

"But how?" she asked in a whisper.

"I find that talking is always a good start," the priest smiled.

The gentle vibration of the cell phone in her jacket pocket brought Emily fully into the present. She apologized to father Quinn before glancing at the screen. Emily thought surely it was about a case, but was surprised to see the name of her caller. Without too much effort she answered with a simple, "Hello."

"Emily," Angela's voice wavered with emotion. "I wasn't sure who to call, but… John is in the hospital. I thought since you…"

"I'll be right there," Emily cut her off before jetting out of the church.

To be continued…