Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the TV series, Criminal Minds.

Angel

Part 7

By
N. J. Borba

"So… you worked undercover for Interpol," Morgan tried to remain cool-headed as he listened.

There were a lot of things he imagined he didn't know about Emily Prentiss, several of those having come out in recent weeks. But learning she was once part of a secret team sent to infiltrate a former member of the IRA. That was a heck of a lot more than he'd been expecting. He watched her now as she sat on the floor of her apartment, barefoot and playing with Resi. The kitten had been rather placid upon their first meeting, now she was running circles around Emily.

"I couldn't tell you, Derek," Emily turned away from the cat to face him. She'd spent five days debating whether or not to tell him. "I shouldn't even be telling you now."

His head was still spinning as he moved to sit behind her. Derek pressed his back to the sofa and drew Emily close so she was reclined against his chest. He had to admit he was glad she'd opened up to him about it, even if it was disturbing to think about. "Exactly how close were you to this Doyle guy?"

Her eyes closed for a second. "The team assigned me to him."

Derek nuzzled her neck with his chin. "Did you care about him?"

"It wasn't me," Emily replied. "It was my cover, Lauren. I had to get close enough to gain his trust, which included sharing his bed," she admitted. "But it's not so different than what we do every day, getting inside an UnSub's head."

"It's a hell of a lot different," he begged to differ.

"You're upset," she noted.

Morgan nodded, but his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. "Will he come after you?" he changed the subject slightly.

"Before they pulled me out, I'm pretty sure Doyle discovered I was undercover. But the odds of him figuring out I'm Lauren are… slim," she lied, mostly to herself.

"But not impossible," Derek wasn't a fool. "According to you the man's an international terrorist who ran a major weapons smuggling ring. I doubt it'd be hard for a guy like that to figure out your true identity. He's bound to still have contacts," Morgan's profiler mind took over for a moment.

Emily watched as Resi pounced on her own tail. "You're actually not freaking out as much as I anticipated."

He shrugged. "You having a twenty-three year old daughter kind of floored me. Not a lot can trump that, although this is coming in a close second."

"Can we please not talk about Doyle anymore tonight?" Emily pleaded. "We just spent a relaxing day with Penelope, Kevin and Reid. Tomorrow Angie and I are taking off on our little excursion," she reached out to pet the kitten and Resi playfully swatted her hand. Emily smiled at the mischievous little cat. "Even though the main purpose of the trip is about John, I think it could be a chance for us to talk more."

"It'd be a better trip if I tagged along," Derek suggested. "I wouldn't get in the way of your girly bonding stuff. I'd just feel safer knowing you two weren't alone."

She appreciated the sentiment. But, whereas Sean was fleeing the country with his family, Emily didn't plan on letting Doyle ruin her life. Especially not now that it was finally starting to turn around. "I need you to stay with Resi. Please?" Emily asked.

"Fine," Derek agreed, still worried about her. "Stubborn woman," he teased, nipping at her earlobe as playfully as the cat.

They ended their Thanksgiving with a lot to be grateful for.

xxx

Emily parked her car along the curb in front of a small yellow house in Baltimore; the place Angie had grown up. She made her way up the front walk recalling a few stories Scott had told her, one in particular about Angie's first day of school and how they'd taken her picture on the top step of the porch. She could see now that the porch was painted white with an old wooden bench swing hanging to the right of the door. Emily couldn't help wishing she'd been there that day.

Scott stepped outside and closed the door. Emily could easily tell he didn't seem pleased to see her. "Is something wrong?"

"Angie's just grabbing her things," the man stoically replied.

"That doesn't really answer my question," Emily replied, still feeling like he was giving her the cold shoulder.

He relaxed his jaw a little before launching into a very brief response. "I think it's best if you don't see Angie again after this weekend."

She was instantly confused. "May I ask why?" Emily inquired. "Because we had dinner together just a week ago, and you seemed perfectly happy about me getting to know Angie better. I don't understand this sudden shift."

"When John Cooley contacted Angie, I was happy for her," he began. "I've always been completely open and honest with Angie about her adoption. I even welcomed the idea of her seeking out her birth parents. But," Scott sighed. "These last several weeks have changed my daughter, and not for the better as far as I'm concerned."

"Could you be more specific," Emily pushed, still unclear about what his difficulty was.

Scott's jaw tensed again. "First off, she just found and lost John in a very short amount of time. None of which was easy for her, despite how strong she pretends to be. Secondly, she finally told me how you pushed her away the first time you met. She also explained how dangerous your job is. And then there was the huge revelation of you telling her about a history of alcoholism and depression in your family," he shook his head. "I'm not sure why you felt the need to bring any of that up."

"Because she had a right to know," Emily defended her actions.

"I don't want this to turn into an argument," Scott spoke as calmly as possible.

"Nor do I," Emily agreed.

"Do you know Angie wants to drop out of law school?"

That floored Emily. "No, I…"

"Apparently she'd like to take some time off to travel," he interrupted, clearly disapproving of the idea. "And it seems you gave her the money to do that."

"John left her that money to do with as she pleases," Emily countered. "That was his decision, and his right."

"Well, I don't approve," he made that fact known verbally. "I also think her dating a young man you work with is a bad idea. People in your line of work get killed every day, and Angie doesn't need to lose anyone else she cares about."

Emily swallowed. "I understand that you want to protect her," she even admired that quality. "But she's an adult. Angie's obviously always done exactly as you wished, but maybe she needs time now to travel, to discover things about herself away from this familiar setting. And there'll be plenty of time for law school. She's still young."

"I'm sorry if I mislead you the other night," he replied. "But make no mistake, Angie is my child. For her sake, I pray you have a good weekend and then you break it to her gently that you won't be a part of her life any longer."

"Hello," Angie's cheerful voice interrupted as she exited the house with a red rolling bag. She glanced between the two people on her front porch. "Something wrong?"

Scott shook his head. "Nope," he kissed his daughter's cheek. "Have a nice weekend, sweetheart." With that he entered his home and closed the door on them.

"We should get going," Emily forced a smile as she did her best to push the troubling encounter to the back of her mind. But the drive down was constantly marred by Scott's words and visions of Ian Doyle coming after her and the people she cared about. They arrived late, ate a small meal together and then checked in to their rooms. Emily lay atop the pristinely made hotel bed and starred at the ceiling until her cell vibrated. The name on screen broke through her gloom. "Hey," she greeted.

"Hey, yourself," Derek replied. "You okay?"

"Fine."

"You don't sound fine," he noticed.

She closed her eyes. "It was just a longer drive than I remember. I need to rest."

"Okay, well… I just called to let you know that Resi misses you, so I thought I'd spend the night here and keep her company."

That made Emily smile. "I'm sure it's the cat that misses me," she replied.

"Honest," he insisted.

She could almost see the silly grin on his face and wished she was there, curled up beside him. "Good night," Emily whispered.

"Night."

The phone slipped from her hand and her eyes moved from the ceiling to focus on the mini bar.

xxx

Their Saturday started slowly with breakfast and coffee at a small café. Then the two women visited a history museum, art museum and aquarium. After a late lunch they headed out for a bit of shopping, admiring the fall décor and fashions. There were cashmere sweaters in shades of burgundy and gold, which mirrored the scant few leaves remaining on the sidewalk trees. Hand woven scarves and finely crafted jewelry were also on display in the perfectly decorated shop windows.

But Emily quickly learned that spending money on clothing and jewelry was not her daughter's forte.

"It's too expensive," Angie shook her head.

"Says the girl who just inherited a ton of money," Emily was left holding a necklace that she'd been sure Angie would like. Its delicate pearls were encased in silver, three of them in a row on a thin chain. It was simple and elegant.

"I plan to use that money for… important things," Angie insisted.

"It would look perfect on you," Emily tried again, not wanting to find out if Angie's plans for the money really were to ditch law school and travel. So far, their trip had lacked ample personal content, which neither of them seemed to mind. "And I know you like silver because you don't ever take that locket off," she observed.

Angie's left hand went to the locket, her thumb rubbing over the etching. "It's the only necklace I wear," she spoke softly.

"This will be my treat," Emily offered. "I'd like to get it for you."

"I just told you this is the only necklace I wear," Angie's voice erupted, which for her was still not terribly loud. But, by the shocked expression on Emily's face, Angie knew she'd gotten her point across. Her hand dropped back to her side. "I don't feel much like shopping anymore. I'm going to take a walk along the beach."

The underlying message was clearly that she didn't wish to be followed. Emily nodded and watched as the young woman left the store. Scott's words came back to haunt her and she couldn't help wonder if he was right about her not being a good influence in Angie's life. The ringing of her cell phone thankfully jarred those thoughts to the back of her mind as she answered. "How do you always know the right moment to call?"

"Lucky guesses?" Derek chuckled, but the laughter swiftly faded. "Why is this a good time? Has Doyle contacted you?"

"No," she was thankful of his concern. Emily exited the store and found a bench along the sidewalk to sit. "I just experienced an awkward moment with Angie."

"That's bound to happen," he replied. "Relationships take time, as we both already know."

She smiled. "And you always know the right thing to say," Emily noted. "I understand all that, I just…" she didn't want to tell him what Scott had demanded. She'd already put too much on Derek's shoulders by telling him about her past with Doyle. "I don't want to make the same kind of mistakes my mother made. I thought I could just jump right in and be the cool best friend, buy her fun stuff, eat junk food and watch movies together…"

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Emily. Angie doesn't need a best buddy," he let her know. "She needs a mother, and that means she just needs you to be you."

"So I should sit in a corner and read a book while she watches me?" Emily asked.

He laughed. "Okay, maybe not that, but… just be sincere."

"I'll try," she agreed. "Thank you, for everything."

"Don't mention it," he signed off.

An hour and a half later the sun was already beginning to set. Emily found Angie sitting on the beach. It was chilly and mostly deserted, other than one couple walking hand-in-hand about a hundred feet away. They were headed further down shore. Emily sat down on the damp sand and settled her bag beside her. "I'm sorry about earlier," she apologized.

The girl turned to face her. "No, I'm the one who's sorry," she seemed thankful for the opportunity of forgiveness. "I don't know why I got so upset."

"Must be a special locket," Emily guessed.

Angie's hand clasped the locket again, protectively. "My dad gave it to me after my mom died."

Emily had figured as much. She watched as wave after wave crashed upon the shore. Finally she rummaged through her large leather bag and plucked something out. "I hope you don't mind that I bought this for you," she handed over the small velvet bag. Emily regarded the girl as she removed the ring. "It's silver, which I thought would go well with your necklace. And it's a sailor's knot design, in John's honor," Emily explained. "With an emerald," she concluded, pointing to the small stone in the middle of the setting.

"That's my birthstone," Angie smiled.

"I know," Emily nodded.

"Right," the girl bit her bottom lip as she starred at the ring. "For some reason I keep forgetting you were there when I was born."

That was one thing Emily had never forgotten. "They say an emerald represents love and rebirth," she informed the girl.

"It's beautiful, thank you," Angie whispered as she slipped it on the ring finger of her right hand. "You mentioned before that John liked sailing."

"He once told me it made him feel free," Emily revealed. "His parents were a lot like mine, strict, dictating. My mother is an ambassador and we were living in Rome when I first met John and another friend of ours, Matthew. The three of us sometimes traveled down to Sperlonga. We'd walk the beaches and John would sail us along the Mediterranean."

Angie's eyes lit with awe. "How far is Sperlonga from Rome?"

"About two hours by train," Emily happily recalled those trips, playing cards and drinking soda with her friends.

"How old were you?"

"Fifteen."

This time the girl's eyes went wide with disbelief. "Your parents let you go on your own? My dad had separation anxiety when I went to piano camp for two weeks in the sixth grade. And he still doesn't like me living in DC even though it's just an hour away."

"My parents were usually preoccupied by work," Emily said, beginning to gain a greater understanding of Scott Hayden. "And most of the time we lied about where we were going."

"Is that how old you were when you had me, fifteen?" Angie asked.

"Sixteen."

That caused the girl to shake her head. "That's still really young. I don't remember even thinking about sex at that age."

"I didn't really either," Emily confided.

"Oh," Angie swallowed. "Did John… um… hurt you?"

"No," Emily was quick to correct her. "No, it was nothing like that. We were just…" she let the roar of the waves distract her. "You really don't need to know what happened back then."

"I heard what John told you, about not wanting me to think I was an accident," Angie boldly forged ahead. "But at that age I don't imagine you were planning to get pregnant."

Seconds ticked as Emily contemplated how to proceed. "I can't believe I'm doing this," she exhaled. "Aside from the exploration trips, Matthew, John and I hung out a lot… smoking and drinking too much," she revealed. "One night we were at John's house while our parents attended some function. And we were drinking, a lot. The boys decided to play a round of truth or dare," her head shook. "Such a stupid game."

Emily breathed out and then in again, like the waves rolling with the tide. "Matthew asked John if he was still a virgin and John truthfully answered that he was," she continued. "I didn't want to answer such a personal question, so I chose a dare," Emily explained. "John dared me to have sex with him."

"And you did," Angie surmised. She watched Emily nod. "Did you always plan to have me after you found out?"

"Angie, please… don't," Emily begged.

"You're finally being honest with me," Angie protested. "I really want to know."

After lying to herself for so many years, Angie's words cut through her. "John told his parents about me being pregnant and they sent him away to a school in England. Matthew found a clinic, he traveled there with me, held my hand… but at the last minute I couldn't go through with it," Emily rehashed it all. "Matthew and his parents moved to DC shortly after, and he helped me again by finding a school nearby that I could attend. I cajoled my mother into letting me go and that was that."

"But there's more," Angie prodded.

"Matthew would visit me on weekends and bring me cookies, buy me ice cream," Emily recalled with a smile. "All the things I craved but couldn't get at my school."

"Sounds like a good friend."

"He was, but we lost touch," Emily noted with regret. "Matthew had a lot of troubles of his own. He died earlier this year."

"It hasn't been a very good year for you," Angie observed sympathetically.

Emily sighed, the rest of her story spilling forth in a clunky manner. "My parents didn't know about you, and no one at my school suspected I was pregnant. They all thought I was just chubby, which made me even more of an outcast there. I went to a free clinic in Baltimore for regular check-ups. And you were good enough to put off being born until after my final school exam that May," she explained.

"You and I spent the first twenty-four hours of your life together in the hospital," Emily began again. "I fed you and changed you. I even got you to stop crying a few times, and for a brief moment I thought maybe I could raise you on my own. But I realized how selfish that would be," she whispered. "When the cab came for me that second day, I told the nurse it was my parents, but it was really Matthew. He went with me to the church and…"

"That's where you left me," Angie finished, brushing a tear from her eye.

"Leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever done," Emily revealed.

Angie smiled. "For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing."

Those words gave Emily strength enough to explain the last bit of her story. "When John and I finally spoke again I decided to tell him I'd gone through with the abortion. Matthew agreed to keep that secret for me. And the more time that passed, the more that version became a reality for me. It was easier than remembering that I'd abandoned you. It was easier than wondering if you were okay, if you were loved and safe… if you were happy."

"I was," Angie quickly assured her. "Losing my mom was sad, and those teenage years were rough. But I always had my dad and he's a really great dad."

"He must be, because you turned into a lovely young woman," Emily observed. Thinking about Scott's recent change of heart broke hers. She couldn't imagine not having Angie in her life now that they'd reconnected. But it was a topic she wished to avoid a little longer. Emily reached into her bag again and pulled out the carved wooden box that was filled with John's ashes. She stood and faced Angie. There was no one within sight on the beach. "Shall we?"

The girl got to her feet. "Okay," she nodded her agreement.

Together they walked out to the edge of the ocean. The setting sun at their backs cast a soft golden light against the dark water. Emily opened the box. She let the breeze do most of the work, watching as John's ashes floated on the wind and out to sea. "Be free, my friend," she whispered. "Be at peace."

xxx

Emily woke Sunday morning with a headache, even though she hadn't given in to the mini bar temptation on either night of her stay. She guessed the headache was a combination of withdrawal, regret and worry. Emily rolled out of bed and grabbed the tiny bottle of free aspirin off the hotel nightstand. She swallowed two with some water and then checked her phone messages. The first was filled with dead air for several seconds, which caused her some concern. But the second message made her smile.

"Hi, it's me, Angie. I knocked on your door but you didn't answer so I'm going to get coffee at that place around the corner. Please join me when you get up. No rush, though. I have my laptop with me and plan to IM Spencer. See you soon."

She tossed the phone onto her bed then ducked into the bathroom for a quick shower. Emily arrived at the coffee shop a half hour later and searched for Angie. She spotted a silver laptop on a table in the corner, but no Angie. Trying not to look like she was snooping, Emily made a pass to see if she could determine whether it was Angie's computer. The screen showed an IM chat and Emily couldn't help read the last two lines of conversation.

Angie87: BRB

Doctor_Reid: R U back yet?

Fear slid down her spine, and it had nothing to do with Reid's short hand. Emily headed straight to the front counter and addressed the young man working there. "Did you see where the girl sitting in that corner went?" she pointed toward Angie's laptop.

"Nope," the skinny guy replied. "Can I get you something to drink?"

Her heart thumped and hands balled into fists as she raced toward the exit. Emily stood on the sidewalk carefully analyzing her surroundings. The ring of her cell phone nearly caused her to jump, not something she was proud of. The screen flashed: unknown name, unknown number. "Hello," she answered. Silence filled the line. "Is anyone there?" Emily asked, but received no answer other than a click signifying the end of the call.

"Damn it," she swore. Emily was about to dial Derek when her phone rang again. The same unknown caller message displayed. "Who the hell is this?" she growled over the line. There was only silence again followed by another click.

Someone tapped her left shoulder and Emily spun around. Angie stared at her with worried eyes. "You okay? The guy in there said you were asking about me."

"Where the hell have you been?" Emily finally exhaled.

Angie bit her lip. "I was just in the restroom."

Emily's nails dug into her palm. "Oh."

"Are you okay?" the girl worriedly inquired. "You want some coffee?"

Shaking her head, Emily took Angie by the arm and led her back inside the café. "We need to be going, now. Grab your stuff and I'll walk you back to the hotel."

The young woman did as instructed. She never said a word as they returned to the hotel, gathered their things and checked out. The two of them barely even spoke to one another the whole three-hour drive back to DC. But when Emily walked Angie to her apartment door the girl finally asked, "Is everything okay?"

In that instant Emily wanted a drink so badly she could practically taste it. Scott's words pounded in her head. Her panic attack at the coffee shop, the knowledge of Doyle's escape and the strange phone calls all collided into five words. "We should end this here."

"What do you mean?" Angie asked, placing her bag by the door.

Emily breathed out. "We put John to rest, and I've told you all you need to know about the past," she clarified. "We should go our separate ways now."

"What?" the girl scoffed at that ridiculous proposal. "No."

"You don't need me in your life."

Angie's eyes watered. "Why are you doing this again?"

"Because it's for the best," Emily whispered. She gazed in to the girl's brown eyes one last time then turned and headed for the stairs.

"Don't walk away, Emily. Please," Angie pleaded. "I do need you."

Emily had to bite her tongue to keep the tears away. Angie hadn't tried to stop her before, she hadn't begged. They hadn't known each other then. But even as the girl called out to her again, Emily kept walking. Having Angie hate her was a far better fate than endangering the girl's precious life. When she exited the building and the cool air hit her face, the tears could not be stopped. Emily walked past her car that was parked on the street. She walked aimlessly for several blocks until a neon sign beckoned her.

It read: tavern.

To be continued…