I awoke on a couch in a hotel room. I noticed the room was large with two beds, small couch, a table with two chairs and a big oversized chair in the corner. Everything was lightly colored using pastels. The curtains to my right were closed tight. I was about to get up and go look out the window when my eyes landed on Jasper; he was leaning back in the big chair. I watched him as he watched me. I glared at him when I remembered why I was here…. wherever here was.
"Don't bother asking, I won't tell you," Jasper said with a smirk.
"Asking what?"
"Where you are," Jasper sighed.
I sighed and remembered that I was still in my bathrobe. And I was sure there were no extra clothes here for me. I looked back towards the curtains then back at him.
"Be my guest," he said gesturing towards the window. I got up and crossed over to the window, I pulled back the curtains, then sun poured in I turned around, and Jasper was…. was… oh my god! I thought Edward was beautiful in the sunlight but Jasper looked super gorgeous! His scars made him look even more beautiful. Then it hit me, his scars! He had scars all over both of his arms. Curved half-moons crisscrossed in a feathery pattern that was only visible, white on white as it was, because the bright glow of the sun coming in through the window threw the slightly raised design into relief, with shallow shadows outlining the shapes. And then I understood that the pattern I was looking at was actually made of individual crescents like the one on my wrist.
"Jasper what happened to you?" I asked remembering how I'd received my scar. I stared at the shape of James' teeth, embossed forever on my skin.
"The same thing that happened to your wrist," Jasper answered in a quiet voice. "Repeated a thousand times." He laughed a little ruefully and brushed at his arm. "Our venom is the only thing that leaves a scar."
"Why do you have so many?" I breathed in horror, feeling rude but unable to stop staring at his subtly ravaged skin.
"I didn't have quite the same ... upbringing as my adopted siblings. My beginning was something else entirely." His voice turned hard as he finished.
I gaped at him, appalled.
"Before I tell you my story," Jasper said, "you must understand that there are places in our world, Bella, where the life span of the never-aging is measured in weeks, not centuries. To really understand why, you have to look at the world from a different perspective. You have to image the way it looks to the powerful, the greedy, and the thirsty.
"You see, there are places in this world that are more desirable to us than others. Places where we can be less restrained, and still avoid detection.
"Picture, for instance, a map of the western hemisphere and every human life is a small red dot. The thicker the red, the more easily we, well, those who feed and exist that way, can do it without attracting notice."
I shuddered at the image in my head, especially at the word feed. But Jasper wasn't worried about frightening me; he was definitely not over-protective like Edward always is. He continued without a pause.
"Not that the covens in the South care much for what the humans notice or do not. In actuality the Volturi are the only ones who keep them in check. They are the only vampires the southern covens fear. If not for the Volturi, the rest of us would be quickly exposed."
I frowned at the way he pronounced the name ─ with respect, almost gratitude. The idea of the Volturi as the good guys in any sense was hard to accept.
"The north is, by comparison, very civilized. Mostly we are nomads here, who enjoy the day as well as the night, who allow humans to interact with us unsuspectingly ─ anonymity is important to us all.
It's a very different world in the South. The immortals there only come out at night. They spend the day plotting their next move, or anticipating their enemy's. Because of this, there has been war in the South, constant war for centuries, with never one moment of truce. The covens there barely note the existence of humans, except as soldiers who notice a herd of cows by the wayside ─ food for the taking. They only hide from the notice of the herd because of the Volturi."
"But what are they fighting for?" I asked.
Jasper smiled. "Remember the map with the red dots?"
He waited, so I nodded.
"They fight for control of the thickest red. You see, it occurred to someone once that, if he were the only vampire in, lets say Mexico City, well then, he could feed every night, twice, three times, and no one would ever notice. He plotted ways to get rid of the competition."
"Others soon had the same idea. Some came up with more effective tactics than others did. But a fairly young vampire named Benito invented the most effective tactic. The first anyone ever heard of him, he came down from somewhere north of Dallas and massacred the two small covens that shared the area near Houston. Two nights later, he took on the much stronger clan of allies in Monterrey in northern Mexico. Again he won."
"How did he win?" I asked.
"Benito had created an army of newborn vampires. He was the first one to think of it, and, in the beginning, he was unstoppable. Very young vampires are volatile, wild, and almost impossible to control. But you knew that already. One newborn can be reasoned with, taught to restrain himself, but ten, fifteen together are a nightmare. They'll turn on each other as easily as on the enemy you point them at. Benito had to keep making more as they fought amongst themselves, and as the covens he decimated took more than half his force down before they lost."
"You see, though newborns are dangerous, they are still possible to defeat if you know what you're doing. They're incredibly powerful psychically, for the first year or so, and if they're able to just use their strength, they can crush an older vampire with ease. But they are slaves to their instincts, and thus unpredictable. Usually, they have no skill in fighting, only muscle and ferocity and in this particular case over whelming numbers."
"The vampires in southern Mexico realized what was coming for them and they did the only thing they could think of to counteract Benito. They made armies of their own…"
"All hell broke loose – and I mean that more literally than you can possibly imagine. We immortals have our histories, too, and this particular war will never be forgotten. Of course, it was not a good time to be human in Mexico, either."
"When the body count reached epidemic proportions – in fact, your histories blame a disease for the population slump – the Volturi finally stepped in. The entire guard came and sought out every newborn in the bottom half on North America. Benito was entrenched in Puebla, building his army as quickly as he could in order to take on the prize, Mexico City. The Volturi started with him before moving on to the rest."
"Anyone who was found with newborns was executed immediately, and, since everyone was trying to protect themselves from Benito, Mexico was emptied of vampires for the time being anyways."
"The Volturi were cleaning house for almost a year. This was another chapter of our history that will always be remembered, though there were very few witnesses left to speak of what it was like. I spoke to someone once who had, from a distance, watched what happened when they visited Culiacan."
"It was enough of a threat that the fever for conquest did not spread to the North. The rest of the world stayed sane. We owe the Volturi for our present way of life."
"But when the Volturi went back to Italy, the survivors were quick to stake their claims in the South. It didn't take long before covens began to dispute again. There was a lot of bad blood, if you'll forgive the expression. Vendettas abounded. The idea of newborns was already there, and some were not able to resist. However, the Volturi had not been forgotten making the southern covens were more careful this time. The newborns were selected from the human world with more care and given more training. They were used circumspectly, and the humans remained, for the most part, oblivious. Their creators made sure the Volturi had no reason to return."
"The wars resumed, but on a smaller scale. Every now and then, someone would go too far, speculation would begin in the human newspapers and the Volturi would return and clean out the city. But they let the others, the careful ones, continue…"
"When I was human, I lived in Huston, Texas. I was almost seventeen years old when I joined the Confederate Army in 1861. I lied to the recruiters and told them I was twenty. I was tall enough to get away with it."
"My military career was short-lived, but very promising. People always…liked me, listened to what I had to say. My father said it was charisma. Of course, now I know it was probably something more. But, whatever the reason, I was promoted quickly through the ranks, over older, more experienced men. The Confederate Army was new and scrambling to organize itself, so that provided opportunities, as well. By the first battle of Galveston – well it was more of a skirmish, really – I was the youngest major in Texas, not even acknowledging my real age."
He paused and looked at me, making sure that I was still okay, before going on. I looked at him with awe and well to be honest, a little pride.
"I was placed in charge of evacuating the women and children from the city when the Union's mortar boats reached the harbor. It took a day to prepare them, and then I left with the first group of civilians to convey them to Huston. I remember that one night very clearly."
For a few minutes, he had a far away look on his face as he reflected on that night.
"We reached the city after dark. I stayed only long enough to make sure the entire party was safely situated. As soon as that was done, I got myself a fresh horse, and I headed back to Galveston. There wasn't time to rest. Just a mile outside the city, I found three women on foot. I assumed they were stragglers and dismounted at once to offer them my aid. But, when I could see their faces in the dim light of the moon, I was stunned into silence. They were, without a question, the three most beautiful women I had ever seen."
"They had such pale skin, I remember marveling at it. Even the little black-haired girl, whose features were clearly Mexican, was porcelain in the moonlight. They seemed young, all of them, still young enough to be called girls. I knew they were not lost members of our party. I would have remembered seeing these three.
"'He's speechless,' the tallest girl said in a lovely, delicate voice – it was like wind chimes. She had fair hair, and her skin snow white. The other was blonder still, her skin just as chalky. Her face was like an angel's."
"She leaned towards me with half-closed eyes and inhaled deeply. 'Mmm,' she sighed 'Lovely.'"
"The small one the tiny brunette, put her hand on the girls arm and spoke quickly. Her voice was too soft and musical to be sharp but that seemed to be the way she intended it. 'Concentrate Nettie,' she said."
"I'd always had a good sense of how people related to each other, and it was immediately clear that the brunette was somehow in charge of the others. If they'd been military, she would have outranked them.
"'He looks right, young, strong, an officer…' The brunette paused, and I tried unsuccessfully to speak. 'And there's something more…do you sense it?' she asked the other two. 'He's…compelling.'"
"'Oh, yes,' Nettie quickly agreed, leaning toward me again."
"'Patience,' the brunette cautioned her. 'I want to keep this one.'"
"Nettie frowned; she seemed annoyed.
"'You'd better do it, Maria,' the taller blonde spoke again. 'If he's important to you. I kill them twice as often as I keep them.'"
"'Yes, I'll do it,' Maria agreed. 'I really do like this one. Take Nettie away, will you? I don't want to have to protect my back while I'm trying to focus.'"
"My hair was standing up on the back of my neck, though I didn't understand the meaning of anything the beautiful creatures were saying. My instincts told me that there was danger, that the angel had meant it when she spoke of killing, but my upbringing overruled my instincts. I had not been taught to fear women, but to protect them.
"'Lets hunt,' Nettie agreed enthusiastically, reaching for the tall girls hand. They wheeled – they were so graceful! – and sprinted toward the city. They seemed almost to take flight, they were so fast – their white dresses blew out behind them like wings. I blinked in amazement, and they were gone."
"I turned to stare at Maria, who was watching me curiously. I'd never been superstitious in my life. Until that second, I'd never believed in ghosts or any such nonsense. Suddenly, I was unsure. 'What is your name, solider?' Maria asked me."
"'Major Jasper Whitlock, ma'am,' I stammered, unable to be impolite to a female, even if she was a ghost."
"'I truly hope your survive, Jasper,' she said in her gentle voice 'I have a good feeling about you.' She took a step closer, and inclined her head as if she were going to kiss me. I stood frozen in place, though my instincts were screaming at me to run."
"A few days later," he finally said, "I woke up and was introduced to my new life."
"I learned that their names were Maria, Nettie, and Lucy. They hadn't been together long –Maria had rounded up the other two – all three were survivors of recently lost battles. Theirs was partnership of convenience. Maria wanted revenge, and she wanted her territories back. The others were eager to increase their "herd" lands I suppose you could say. They were putting together an army and going about it more carefully than was usual. It was Maria's idea. She wanted a superior army, so she sought out specific humans who had potential. Then she gave us much more attention, more training than anyone else had bothered with. She taught us to fight, and she taught us to be invisible to humans. When we did well we were rewarded…"
"She was in a hurry, though. Maria knew that the massive strength of the newborn began to wane around the year mark, and she wanted to act while we were still strong. There were six of us when I joined Maria's band. She added four more within a fortnight. We were all male – Maria wanted soldiers – and that made it slightly more difficult to keep from fighting amongst ourselves. I fought my first battles against my new comrades in arms. I was quicker than the others were, better at combat. Maria was pleased with me; though put out that she kept replacing the ones I destroyed. I was rewarded often and that made me stronger."
"Maria was a good judge of character. She decided to put me in charge of the others; it was as if I was being promoted. The newborn casualties went down dramatically and our numbers swelled to hover around twenty. This was considerable for the cautious times we lived in. My ability, as yet undefined, to control the emotional atmosphere around me was vitally effective. We soon began to work together in a way that newborn vampires had never cooperated before. Even Maria, Nettie, and Lucy were able to work together more easily."
"Maria grew quite fond of me – she began to depend upon me. And I some ways, I worshiped the ground she walked on. I had no idea that any other life was possible, Maria told us this was the way things were always done and we believed her."
"She asked me to tell her when my brothers and I were ready to fight and I was eager to prove myself. I pulled together an army of twenty-three in the end – twenty-three unbelievably strong new vampires, organized and skilled as no others before. Maria was ecstatic."
"We crept down toward Monterrey, her former home, and she unleashed us on her enemies. They had only nine newborns at the time and a pair of older vampires controlling them. We took them down more easily than Maria could believe, loosing only four in the process. It was an unheard-of margin victory. And because we were well trained, we did it without attracting notice. The city changed hands without any human being aware."
"Success made Maria greedy. It wasn't long before she began to eye the other cities. That first year, she extended her control to cover most of Texas and northern Mexico. Then others came from the south to dislodge her."
He brushed two fingers along the faint pattern of scars on his arm and sighed.
"The fighting was intense. Many began to worry that the Volturi would return. Of the original twenty-three, I was the only one to survive the first eighteen months. We both won and lost. Nettie and Maria both turned on Maria eventually – but that one we won."
"Maria and I were able to hold on to Monterrey. It quieted a little, though the wars continued. The idea of conquest was dying out; it was mostly vengeance and feuding now. So many had lost their partners, and that is something our kind does not forgive…"
"Maria and I always kept a dozen or so newborns ready. They meant little to us – they were pawns, they were disposable. When they outgrew their usefulness, we did dispose of them. My life continued in the same violent pattern and the years passed. I was sick of it all for a very long time before anything changed… Decades later, I developed a friendship with a newborn who'd remained useful and survived this first three years, against the odds. His name was Peter. I liked Peter, he was…civilized – I suppose that's the right word. He didn't enjoy the fight, though he was good at it. He was assigned to deal with the newborns – baby-sit them, you could say. It was a full time job."
"Then it was time to purge again, the newborns were outgrowing their strength; they were due to be replaced. Peter was supposed to help me dispose of them. We took them aside individually, you see, one by one… It was always a very long night. This time he tried to convince me that a few had potential but Maria instructed we get rid of them all."
"We were about halfway through and I could feel it was taking a great toll on Peter. I was trying to decide whether I should send him away and finish up myself as I called for the next victim. To my surprise, Peter was suddenly angry, furious. I braced for whatever his mood might foreshadow, he was a good fighter, but he was never a match for me. The newborn I'd summoned was female, just past her year mark. Her name was Charlotte. His feelings changed when she came into view; they gave him away. He yelled for her to run and he bolted after her. I could have pursued them, but I didn't. I felt…averse to destroying him."
"Maria was irritated at me for that… but she knew that she needed me. For the next five years, Maria was mystified by my ever-deteriorating frame of mind. She'd never felt a moment's depression, and I wondered why I was different. During this time I began to notice a change in her emotions when she was near me, sometimes there was fear…and malice, the same feelings that had given me advance warning when Nettie and Lucy struck. I was preparing myself to destroy my only ally, the core of my existence, when Peter returned."
"Peter told me about his new life with Charlotte, told me about options I'd never dreamed I had. In five years, they'd never had to fight even though they met many others in the north who could co-exist without constant mayhem."
"In one conversation, he had me convinced. I was ready to go, and somewhat relieved I wouldn't have to kill Maria. I'd been her companion for as many years Carlisle and Edward have been together, yet the bond between us nowhere near as strong. When you live for the fight, for the blood, the relationships you form are tenuous and easily broken. I walked away without a backwards glance. I traveled with Peter and Charlotte for a few years, getting the feel of this new, more peaceful world. But the depression didn't fade. I didn't understand what was wrong with me, until Peter noticed it was always worse after I hunted."
"I contemplated that. In so many yeas of slaughter and carnage, I'd lost nearly all my humanity. I was undeniably, a monster of the grisliest kind. Yet each time I found another human victim, I would feel a faint prick of remembrance for that other life. Watching their eyes widen at my beauty, I could see Maria and the others in my head, what they had looked like to me that last night I was Jasper Whitlock. It was stronger for me – this borrowed memory – than it was for anyone else, because I could feel everything my prey was feeling. And I lived their emotions as I killed them."
"You've experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Bella, but I wonder if you realize how the feelings in a room affect me. I live everyday in a climate of emotion. For the first century of my life, I lived in a world of bloodthirsty vengeance. Hate was my constant companion. It eased some when I left Maria, but I still had to feel the horror and fear of my prey. It began to be too much. The depression got worse so I wandered away from Peter and Charlotte. Civilized as they were, they didn't feel the same aversion I was beginning to feel. They only wanted peace from the fight. I was so wearied by killing – killing anyone, even mere humans. Yet I had to keep killing. What choice did I have? I tried to kill less often, but I would get to thirsty and I would give in. After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline…challenging. I still haven't perfected that."
Jasper was lost in the story, as was I. I spun around abruptly, surprising Jasper and shut the curtains hoping nobody had seen. I looked back at Jasper who had jumped up from his seat. He gave me a small half smile then sat back down and I sat back down as well across from him. I had light tears dried to my face and a fresh one was trying to make its escape. I gasped when Jasper was suddenly in front of me, his smooth white vampire hand wiped across my face sending a shiver through my body. I smiled an encouraging smile and lightly placed my hands over Jasper's.
I suddenly missed Edward, remembering all the times he held me. And now as my mind replaced him with Jasper, I longed to go home. Jasper sensed my longing, growled and pushed me backwards onto the couch laying on top of me. He wasn't gentle like Edward, he didn't try to keep his weight off me, he let me feel how much he weighed, what he was feeling for me. I exhaled and one of my knees bent on its own accord, Jasper frowned when he realized what he'd just been about to do. He was gone before I could blink. I looked around for then I heard she shower start up only to stop immediately. He came out partially wet and his appearance earned a laugh from me.
"I'm sorry," he said shaking his head, causing some of the droplets to land on me, "I just need to work on my control, I promise I won't hurt you."
"It's okay Jasper," I laughed as I tried to avoid the drops. He noticed and his smile widened, he was gone again only to be back with his hair completely soaked.
"Don't you dare!" I warned. He shook his head some more, his perfectly blond hair lifting from his pale face. The water hitting me in little pellets caused me to let out giggles and squeals.
I couldn't believe it, I was kidnapped by my boyfriend's brother and now we were playing and having fun! I jumped up to make a run for it to avoid the water. But he crouched down in front of me. I tried to pass him but he jumped in my way and closed his open arms around me. He stood up and spun both of us around. I giggled and squealed some more, I could feel his face against the back of my neck as we spun.
A scary thought occurred to me that like this Jasper didn't have to do much to end my life – if he wanted to – he could either squeeze me or bite me. Just 24 hours ago, I was ready and willing to end my life and become a vampire for Edward. But now, here in Jasper's strong arms, I suddenly realized that my life was worth living, just a little while longer. I wasn't ready to die. What changed?
With these and more thoughts in my head, I faked a yawn and told Jasper that I wanted to go to sleep.