Chapter 3 – Heavy Detective Guy
"Who took all of the Sandviches?" Heavy asked as he dropped to the floor and started to sob. Everyone in the room started to look at each other worriedly. "Aw c'mon!" The RED Scout yelled. "All that freakin' work, for nothing'!" The RED Medic dashed to the cafeteria. He slammed the doors open with a loud slam! "This is terrible! Ze BLU Spy's head! It's gone!" Everyone in the cafeteria gasped in horror at this terrible news. "He must have snatched them Sandviches and ran away with em'!" The RED Engineer exclaimed.
"That's impossible! How could a simple head just run away with like 50 of those things?" The RED Scout asked. "Maybe he went back to his own base and got surgery or sumthin'." Everyone in the room started to talk about who might of done this dastardly deed. It was so loud and annoying to the poor Heavy.
"Everyone shut up!" Heavy yelled furiously. "We must think about who did it properly! Now Medic, do you know what the time was from the last time you saw his head and from when you said it was missing?
"Eh, ja! I do! It was around 7. I was going to prepare for the battle. I was thirzty as well so I went to get a drink. I noticed his head was not there. It probably had something to do with our Spy. He must have let him out a while he was trying to salvage the wine he bought for Scout's mother."
"He bought wine for my what?"
"Nothing Scout Just don't listen ja?."
"This is the RED Spy's fault then!" The RED Soldier said. "Let's kick his ass!"
The doors to the cafeteria slammed open again. Everyone look to towards where the noise was coming from. "Well I don't think we need to worry about that anymore do we mates?" The RED Sniper said as he threw the dead RED Spy's body on one of the tables. "It's pretty gruesome out there. We're losing men right after the very first second the step into the field." The RED Sniper took his hat off to how respect for the dead RED Spy. "Where did you find him?" Heavy asked. "I found him when he was still alive. He was fighting with a BLU Heavy. I tried to save him but I didn't have enough time to reload my gun. I took out my Kukri and ran towards the BLU Heavy. I didn't save him in time though." "So that's why you're covered in blood. The BLU Heavy must have had some boxing career ahead of him." The RED Scout said.
"Did you see a BLU Spy walk around somewhere?" The RED Medic asked. "No, but there is still a chance that he is out there." Heavy pondered what he just heard for a little bit. "Ok so right now all we know is, Spy went to check the wine. The BLU Spy had a chance to escape. Medic found out the head was missing. The battle started a few minutes after that. I went to fight for a little. The Sandviches disappeared. Medic came to say the head was missing. Scout came to bring the RED Spy's dead body here. Around the time from the battle I was in and to the time the Sandviches were missing, the BLU Medic definitely had a chance to operate on the Spy's head to reattach him to a body."
As the group was thinking who stole the food, the rest of the team had to fight on an empty stomach. The RED team struggled so much. It was an endless catastrophe. "I think I might have known who planned this!" The RED Sniper exclaimed. "The BLU Soldier must have planned this. Only he would have known how to plan something so carefully. He would know that without Sandviches the team would suffer." "Nein! We need to know who did it! Not who planned it!" The BLU Medic yelled crazily! "I need that head! Can you imagine what I would happen if I found a way to kill it? I would get my license back!" Heavy paced around the room wondering about what that Sniper said. "If it was the BLU Soldiers plan, we must get in his mind to find out who he would send. If only our Soldier was alive, he would know in a heartbeat."
Everyone tried to think of the possible people he would choose. They started by brushing away the people who would obviously not be able to do it. "We can all agree that the BLU Heavy definitely didn't do it right?" The RED Scout asked in a silly manner. "Right!" everyone said in unison. "It was not ze BLU Soldier, Engineer, and it was definitely not ze BLU Medic. He's probably teaming up with some other BLU Heavy." The RED Medic said. "It wasn't that BLU Demoman. That wanker definitely can't be sneaky. He's to butthurt all the time…." The RED Sniper said. "It isn't that BLU Scout, yeah he's fast, but not as fast as our RED Scout here. This kid can dodge Sentry bullets." The RED Engineer said. "It was not that BLU Pyro. We would hear him breathing through that mask." The RED Scout said. "It isn't the BLU Sniper. I remember killing him in that horde of BLU enemies." The Heavy said. "It was definitely that BLU Spy. He would have been invisible or in a disguise. His invisibility would only last 9 seconds. He must have used a disguise. He would also of gotten some intel. After all, you might as well try to destroy your enemy completely while you have the chance."
Everyone wondered if there was any suspicious behavior around the time of the robbery. "Could it be possible that ze BLU Spy is still here, after all. We are ze only ones we can question at the moment." The RED Medic explained. "Looks like we are gonna have to question each person." Everyone in that group was questioned to see if they were the BLU Spy. They were all asked questions they would personally know like is America a real country or what they think is delicious. It was finally the Sniper's turn. The RED Sniper stuttered a little bit while he was being questioned.
"Ok, we have all of the results. Sniper you seem to be the most likely. The RED Scout said. "I'm afraid not. Please this is getting embarrassing." The RED Sniper accidently blurted out. There was a muffled voice from somewhere. "You fool! You blew our cover!" "What was noise?" Heavy asked. The lights suddenly turned off again. A few seconds later they turned back on. The Sniper and the RED Spy's body was gone. "Oh nein! Where did they go?"
They immediately dashed outside. They were scouring high and low for that Sniper. The RED Scout used the dead RED Soldier's weapon to jump to higher places. He saw a him running with the RED Spy on his back but for some reason, he didn't get out of his disguise. The RED Scout reported where they were. The RED Scout used the RED Soldier's weapon to jump from building to building to catch up to them. The group trapped them in a corner.
"Reveal yourself Spy!" The RED Engineer demanded. "Please! I'm not a Spy don't kill me!" the RED Sniper pleaded. "Why in tarnation should we believe you?" The RED Engineer asked in anger. "It's true I am the real BLU Spy. The RED Spy turned into a BLU Spy before the group's eyes. "That Spy is a Spy!" The RED Engineer yelled. "You fool, you doomed me!" The BLU Spy took his knife out and stabbed the RED Sniper. Heavy quickly shot him with Sasha. The BLU Spy dropped to the ground choking on his own blood.
"Sniper, are you alright?"
"I'm still tickin'"
"Why did you do this?"
"I did it for my family. If I obeyed their orders, they would free them. Listen, the Sandviches are behind the BLU teams base. Under the pantry room, there is a safe with all of the Sandviches."
"Sniper don't die!"
The RED Sniper's eyes began to close. With one final breath, his life escaped his body.
"NOOOOOOOO! We need to get win this battle now! We lost 2 great men. We must avenge them! Medic are you ready to make me bulletproof again?"
"It's dangerous, we only did this a few times. I never even fixed some of the bugs."
"I don't care it's the only way!"
The group dashed towards cart with the enemy explosives. "We can't let them bring the cart to our base! Medic! Make me fell powerful again!" With one flip of a switch Heavy became invincible again. He could feel the power flowing through him. He dashed through the horde of BLU enemies. He shot them, punched them, and kicked them all down to a pile of raw meat. The RED team pushed back the cart as Heavy kept destroying the BLU team. The cart finally reached the BLU base. The RED team quickly took the Sandviches and destroyed the BLU base.
"Oh boy! It is happy hour! Time to eat my Sandvich!" Right before Heavy was about to take a bite, the Scout slapped it out of his hands. "Oh no you don't! You didn't complete 10 achievements yet!"
Heavy's eye started to twitch. His face started show beads of sweat flow down. Once again, he had a look of shat pants. "!"