Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the plot-line. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.

A/N: Again, I am not in anyway comparing what I am writing to Stephenie Meyer's. This is merely fanfiction and I'm just a fan who happened to be so much in love with Edward Cullen! I'm still waiting for the authentic account Edward will hopefully gives us someday! LOL!

This is a part of the meadow scene from Twilight, told from Edward's viewpoint.

Confessions

I lay down on the grass and closed my eyes. What was she thinking now? Would it finally be enough and she would run away screaming? Why wasn't she screaming? Why wasn't she running? I felt her sitting beside quietly beside me and could almost feel her eyes watching me intently. I wanted to open my eyes. To see the expression on her face. But I couldn't. I thought I'd better not.

I started to hum a song very quietly to myself, trying to drown away all the thoughts that swept my mind. Was she finally afraid now? Why is she still here then? Have I lost all her trust now to the extent that she feared to speak her mind? To tell me what she was truly thinking? Was she afraid that I might hurt her if she tried to escape...if she finally pronounced her fear and her desire that I would take her home right now? And even if she wasn't afraid, would I be able to control myself? Would I be able to conquer the monster inside me? Could Alice's visions be true? I shuddered. No. Definitely no.

But I could feel how warm she was sitting so close beside me. I could smell the delicious floral scent of her blood. It filled my head and burned my throat. I wanted to move closer to her. To touch her. No! No mistakes. I tried to distract myself focusing instead on the warmth of the sunlight on my skin, the feeling of the gentle wind on my face, its whispering sound as it moved through the trees...

But then I felt as if my skin had burned as she lightly touched the back of my hand with a trembling finger, breaking through all my defenses. My eyes opened abruptly. She was looking down at my hand, doodling aimlessly with her fingertip. Her warm light touch sent electric shock through my entire body. My throat burned even more than before. I could almost feel the monster growling trying to break free from the manacles. But his snarls were overshadowed by more overpowering feelings that were trying to break through a century of imprisonment too...feelings I couldn't even understand…

Bella kept tracing my hand with her fingertip, not meeting my gaze. What wouldn't I give away to know what she was thinking now? She didn't seem to be afraid! It was like...like she was marveling!! Not scared...not yet.

Finally she looked up.

"I don't scare you?" I asked her smiling, trying to keep it light.

"No more than usual." she replied calmly with a warm smile. Her answering smile made me feel like my heart would beat again. Like the sunlight breaking through a sky of heavy grey clouds. I smiled back at her, naturally, genuinely this time. It was too much. More than I deserved. More than anything I've ever dreamed of. She wasn't scared. She wasn't running. She looked as if she wanted to be with me! She looked...happy! I could feel all my walls crumbling into dust!

I took a deep breath, slightly relieved. Her warm scent mingled with the sweet fresh fragrance of the meadow filled my throat, burning its way down into my lungs. Yet, even with this flame burning me, I knew I was strong enough. This pain I was sure I could handle. It would be the price that I have to pay. But what I could never endure was hurting her. The thought made me flinch. I closed my eyes again and could feel her fingers moving from my hand and trembling as they extended to my arm.

"Do you mind?" she asked calmly.

"No." I sighed, "You can't imagine how that feels."

Her fingers trailed lightly over my arm, steadier now, bolder. And I felt her other hand extending toward mine to turn it over. Her fingers froze, however, as I flipped my palm up for her. I had almost forgotten how fast and startling my movements might seem to her...to humans. But she just wasn't like everyone else. No one had ever dared to come that close. No one had ever been as warm, as trusting as she was. I opened my eyes again to see if she was frightened.

"Sorry," I apologized, "It's too easy to be myself with you." I explained closing my eyes again. But she didn't reply. She just held my hand in hers and lifted it up to her face, turning it over, watching it silently.

I couldn't bear it anymore. I wanted to know exactly what she was thinking. Why wasn't she afraid? Why wasn't she disgusted with a freak like me?

"Tell me what you're thinking," I finally managed to ask, "It's still so strange for me not knowing." She studied at me for a while, her face was smooth, untroubled. Like this was one of our usual days at school.

"You know, the rest of us feel this way all the time." She answered casually.

"It's a hard life." I murmured ignoring her attempt to ease the tension. "But you didn't tell me." I insisted. She hesitated for a moment.

"I was wishing I could know what you were thinking..." she trailed off, her voice lower than before.

"And?" I encouraged.

"I was wishing that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasn't afraid."

"I don't want you to be afraid." I replied, trying to make her see, to assure her that I wouldn't…that I could never hurt her. And though I wanted her to take the danger more seriously, the truth is, I didn't want her to fear me.

"Well, that's not exactly the fear I meant," she replied softly with a beautiful tiny smile on her face, "though that's certainly something to think about."

Oh well, as much as I wanted to this to be true I couldn't believe my ears. If this was not the fear she meant then what else could it be! Could there be anything more terrifying than her presence with a hostile vampire who craves her blood more than anything else, in a deserted place with absolutely no one around? I sat up propped on my right elbow so I could see her face better. I wished I could just get a glimpse of her thoughts. Just to be able to get once into her mind.

"What are you afraid of then?" I asked her intently. But she didn't reply. My closeness to her suddenly alarmed me. Her face was so close to mine. Worse. It wasn't just me. I could see her leaning reflexively even closer towards me, obviously drawn in by smell. Her sweet warm breath washed over my face and made my head swirl. Suddenly, all I could hear was the throbbing of her heart filling my ears and see it pulsing in the skin of her throat. The sight of it made my muscles tightened, twisting in hunger. The monster smiled. Alice's dark visions filled my head. No! No! No! I growled internally. I had to get away from her. I couldn't afford to be that close to her. I removed my hand from hers almost violently and ran to the edge of the meadow, putting as much distance between us as I could.

I gazed back at her. She was startled; stunned beyond words. She gazed back at me with shocked wounded eyes.

"I'm…sorry...Edward." she murmured in a broken whisper

"Give me a moment." I answered back, louder so she could hear. I needed a moment alone to get a grip. What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she grasp the danger? Would she finally realize it when it's too late? What was wrong with me? How could I be so reckless? So weak? I promised myself no mistakes. How could I ever live with myself if I dared to...I could feel my dead heart twisting with the thirst I tried to suppress and yet with fear…fear for her. No. I wouldn't do that! I knew I would never do that. I was decided. I took one deep breath and slowly walked back to where she sat frozen waiting for me. I paused several feet away and sat on the ground. I couldn't afford to close that distance now. No more mistakes. I kept reminding myself as I stared at her. I took two more deep breaths to steady myself. She must be terrified now.

"I am so very sorry." I apologized not knowing how to begin or what to say, "Would you understand what I meant if I say I'm only human?"

But she didn't smile at my pathetic joke. She just nodded solemnly. And I could even smell the pulse of adrenaline rushing through her veins. Finally she was overcome by fear. Finally she could see the monster. The truth. Could she realize now how pathetic and meaningless all her attempts to get closer to a monster like me have been? Her faith in me, her bravery, her trust, the attraction between us always stunned me. Always took me by surprise and made me fall into the lapse of hoping...of believing that she could see me in a different way other than the deplorable monster that I am. Could she finally see it now that it was all a wasted effort? That I'm not worth it? That I would ruin everything in the end no matter how much we both try? And how could I imagine that she would see me otherwise no matter how much she was drawn to me? How could I let myself hope so much? It was inevitable. I was even more disgusted with myself than before. I never deserved her.

"I'm the world's best predator, aren't I?" I said cynically staring into her wide, horror-stricken eyes. "Everything about me invites you in. My voice. My face. Even my smell. As if I needed any of that."

A/N: Umm..I'm not sure if I'm going to finish this. I've wrote it all already but I think I still need to polish it up. And honestly, part of me doesn't want to publish the whole thing. I still want to hear it all from the real Edward! I'm still hoping and praying!

So, what do you think? Does sound like Edward?