Come Back Alive to This Place – Chap. 9
A/N: Thanks for your answers to my poll! I loved reading them and I incorporated small bits of some of them into the story.
OK, here it is: the climactic chapter. Major plot developments ahead. I worked very hard to get this one to come out right; I hope you agree and enjoy it.
Finally, thanks so much to everyone who has been reading, reviewing, favoriting, or following this story. I really appreciate your support. :)
(Originally posted 11/5/11, edited 11/12/11.)
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Orihime lay, curled up and shivering, under the blanket on the bed, as the long, gray day shaded into night and Aizen did not return to the cabin. Periods of shouting and noise alternated with periods of quiet. At one point during the night, she saw a ship on fire outside the porthole, its sails and masts crumbling in the conflagration. She did not sleep until she saw the faint light of dawn seeping into the cabin.
She finally awoke much later, when Aizen entered the cabin where she lay curled into a ball on the bed. His hair was disheveled, falling into his face, and there were lines of exhaustion at the corners of his brown eyes. There was a long rip in one of his shirt sleeves, but he did not appear to be injured. His movements, although slow, had lost none of their usual grace. However, as he approached, she turned her head away. She would not greet this man she had just watched murder multiple people with a look of utter uncaring on his face.
He crossed to the sideboard with a tired sigh, opened one of the cabinets and extracted a bottle of wine and a glass. He uncorked the bottle and then poured two fingers of wine into the glass. He looked over at her. "Do you want some?" he asked, unfailingly polite. She shook her head mutely.
He lifted his glass, drank briefly. For a moment there was silence between them. Then he said softly, "The battle is over, Orihime. We are victorious. My ships have met and defeated all of the invaders. They have surrendered and we have all their crews in custody. Seireitei's vessels and mine fought side by side against the invaders. Soi Fon is dead, and Ukitake has tendered an offer of alliance. We are to meet tomorrow in neutral waters." His voice was dispassionate and Orihime felt her muscles clench. She refused to meet his gaze, the overwhelming anger building in her like a tidal wave at the callousness of this man, who could send so many people to their deaths and think nothing of it, who could speak of 'victory' as though it were nothing other than a singularly unimportant piece of trivia, rather than a cataclysm where dozens, maybe hundreds of lives had been snuffed out. And to think she had even begun to believe she might be falling in love with him. That made it all far worse. Her face burned with rage and her fingers curled into fists.
She could feel the bed move as he sat on it, could hear his heavy sigh. "What is it, Orihime?"
Slowly, she turned her head to face him, her eyes dark with anger. She had not been planning to say anything, but now she could not hold back her outrage. "How could you?" she spat.
He raised his eyebrows. "How could I what?"
"You don't even care about the people who have served you for years!" she flung at him. "I saw you watching as Tousen died. You didn't care that he died! You don't mind murdering and killing, and the lives of your enemies and your allies are equally worthless to you!" Tears began to seep from her eyes, and angrily, she wiped them away with a fist. "I can't believe I had started to think you might have a heart after all!"
He said nothing in response to her outburst, his face neutral as always. But then she saw something stir deep within his eyes. His silence continued, but she saw his fingers turn white on the bowl of the wineglass. A moment later, the glass shattered in his hand. She gasped as the red wine mingled with his own blood, staining his long, pale fingers still holding the jagged remnants of the glass.
His voice, when he spoke, was low and barely controlled. "Do not speak to me of the people who died because they believed in me—especially Kaname Tousen. You cannot possibly know what it meant to me to see that self-righteous prig Komamura and that posturing loudmouth Hisagi murder Kaname right before my very eyes— before I could even do anything to help." He turned to her, and she could see his eyes were haunted, the agony she had failed to see earlier brimming within them. "Many of my people died today, but Kaname has been with me almost since the beginning. He is one of the very few who knew the truth."
Orihime stared at him, her heart pounding wildly. "The truth? What do you mean?"
He gave a long, low sigh, and she could see him struggling to allow his refined features to settle back into their mask of serenity. He stood up, facing away from her, catching the shards of glass in a cloth and mopping up the wine and blood, slowly wiping off his fingers one by one. "You see, Kaname chose to follow me. He could have stayed in his safe position with Seireitei. I warned him that the path included dishonor and possible death… but he said that all he cared about was justice." His voice turned bitter. "Indeed, he is one of the few who turned his back on honor, on his family and friends… to become a pirate and an outlaw. He trusted me, and where did I lead him?" His mouth was set, the unaccustomed emotion distorting the elegant lines of his face and tugging at Orihime's heart. He extracted another glass from the cupboard and poured himself a second glass of wine. He tipped the glass up and drained its contents, then set it down with a clink on the wooden table. "You should never trust anyone, Orihime. Most especially… you should never let anyone trust you." She could see his hands were trembling slightly. It was somewhat unnerving. She had grown so accustomed to seeing him preternaturally confident and in control, as unyielding and serene as a force of nature.
To see him this way… he looked almost… human. No longer the emotionless pirate and king with almost godlike strength and power, but a person with feelings like her own. It twisted something deep down inside her, the part of her that had always fought against him. She could see now what she had missed earlier: he was experiencing profound grief and had merely been hiding it. So what did that mean? What was truly going on? What was the truth about him?
He returned to the bench and sat, slumped over, with his head in his hands, his slender fingers threaded into his tousled brown hair, for a long moment. She stared at him again, her heart pounding. She was too taken aback by this unexpected development in her captor to even know what to think.
She was about to say something when he finally stirred. "Let me tell you a story," he said, not raising his head.
"There was once a peaceful, wealthy domain, one of the most powerful domains in its country. It had been ruled by the same family for centuries." He glanced up at her. "The ruler was named Lord Shinji Hirako."
Orihime's eyes widened but she said nothing. She sat quietly, waiting for him to continue. Somewhere far in the distance there was shouting and banging against the hull of the ship. Aizen did not stir. The small cabin rocked steadily back and forth.
"Lord Hirako was a powerful man, and he was also generous. He frequently invited many members of his large family to visit him in his palace and stay with him for extended periods of time, becoming acquainted with their relatives, having their children trained in the fighting arts, and attending lavish balls.
"Among those who had been invited to stay with Lord Hirako one summer was a young boy, sixteen years old, a second cousin, minor nobility, whose family were eager for him to meet his noble cousins." His eyes were fixed on the porthole. "This boy was more interested in books than in socializing, and they hoped that Lord Hirako, who was well known to be gregarious, might be able to bring the boy out of his shell.
"But Lord Hirako took an instant dislike to the boy. The boy overheard him telling one of his courtiers that he didn't trust him, that he only allowed the boy to visit to keep an eye on him." Aizen took a deep breath and rested his chin in his hand. "The boy was housed in a remote wing, far away from Hirako and his favorites. The boy felt slighted, but it turned out to be a fortunate placement. One night there was a terrible fire in the palace." He looked at her, his expression shuttered. "It was a complete and bizarre accident. An entire wing of the palace burned down in the conflagration. It was utterly demolished." His gaze was harsh, faraway, something she could not understand flaring in his eyes. "Lord Hirako, his direct descendants, all his close relatives, including this boy's parents, all perished in the fire." Orihime sucked in her breath, her eyes wide and fixed on his. "The kingdom was devastated, and while everyone was in mourning, the question of succession to the rulership of the domain was debated. All the direct heirs had succumbed to the blaze. The domain was thrown into chaos." He paused for a moment, his eyes distant.
"It is not widely known outside the domain," he continued, "that the Fifth Domain is characterized not only by its wealth and power but also by its possession of a particular artifact. One could say it is a royal heirloom." He eyed her as he continued speaking. "This object is a jewel, called the Hougyoku, which is said to have prophetic powers. The jewel has been passed down from parent to child for generations; and it was said that the key test for rule is the ability to communicate with the jewel, which is said to be sentient."
He paused once more and appeared to be deliberating. Then he stood and unlocked the small drawer Orihime had been so curious about earlier. As he slid it open, she once again saw the eerie blue glow she had seen a couple of times before. Aizen reached into the drawer and cupped the object within his fingers, then turned and showed it to her on his palm. Orihime gasped. It was a huge, deep blue jewel, apparently glowing from within; there was movement within its depths, patterns of lights that almost appeared to make sense. Mesmerized, Orihime reached out for it almost involuntarily. Aizen closed his fingers around it before she could touch it.
"You are seeing what few have ever seen, my dear; the most priceless relic of the Fifth Domain." He gazed at her, his large eyes intense. "I'm showing it to you now to demonstrate to you that I trust you."
Orihime met his eyes, swallowed, and nodded. Aizen turned back to the drawer, slid the glowing object inside, and closed it once again with a small 'click.' Orihime let out her breath; she had not realized how heavy the air in the room had apparently become; as the jewel was once more sealed away, she felt an odd lightening of pressure in the compact cabin and felt her shoulders relax. Aizen returned to his seat and resumed his story.
"The courtiers delved into the archives, studied the ancient lore of the domain, and determined that there was a test that could be applied in a case such as this, where there was not an obvious heir to the throne. All surviving members of the family were to be tested in a particular way to determine their connection with the Hougyoku.
"Now as it happened, there was another cousin of Hirako's, a man named Kisuke Urahara, who believed that he was the closest relative to Hirako and as such deserved to be named lord in his place." Aizen's lips twisted slightly. "Urahara was quite clever and in some ways devious. And it was true that he was more closely related to Hirako than the boy was. But the courtiers insisted on the test for all applicants to the lordship.
"The test consisted of placing the subject in contact with the jewel and asking a series of questions to determine the ability of the subject to predict future events. One by one, surviving members of the family were brought to a particular room in the palace for the test. Among them was the boy, who one day was led into the room with all the courtiers as witness. The Hougyoku had been placed on a raised platform in the center of the room. The boy was instructed to place his hand on the jewel directly." His eyes flickered.
"Many others had come before the jewel and no one had passed the test, including Urahara. He and his allies were pressuring the courtiers to end the testing process. They claimed that the so-called prophetic abilities of the Hougyoku did not exist, and brought forth evidence that Hirako had not been able to communicate with it either. But the courtiers insisted that all relatives of the ruling family with even a small amount of noble blood be tested." He paused and was silent for a long moment. Orihime could not take her eyes off him.
"When the boy placed his hand on the jewel, something happened that the courtiers had never before seen. The jewel flared with light at the boy's touch, brilliant light that shone like the sun in the dimly lit room." His eyes were faraway now, lost in the memory. "The boy found he could gaze straight into the dazzling radiance without flinching. In the light of the Hougyoku, the boy could see something he had never seen before. It was as though he lost consciousness for a moment. In that moment, he had a vision, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say multiple visions, a set of possibilities of what the future could be."
His eyes were bleak now. "In that vision, he saw all the possibilities of the future laid out like spokes in a wheel before him. And in almost all of the possible futures he saw his homeland devastated, the Seireitei sacked and burning from end to end, its people murdered and enslaved."
Orihime could not hold back a gasp, but Aizen was no longer looking at her.
"For it turned out that a race of barbarians from across the sea was coming. They were preparing to invade the Seireitei and take over its rich territories and fertile lands. And the members of this race were powerful warriors with a mighty fleet of ships that would sail to Seireitei and capture it without much resistance, for the domains of the Seireitei were pusillanimous and quarrelsome. None of them wished to give their neighbors power over them, and they bickered endlessly. Their king was weak, and none of them had interest in building and arming a fleet.
"The boy panicked when he saw this disaster looming for his country, and he frantically looked among the possible future threads for one that might not be so gloomy. And finally, off in a corner, he found a set of threads where the Seireitei repulsed the invaders, destroyed their fleet, and lived on in peace." Orihime sucked in her breath, her eyes locked on Aizen's.
"In that set of future threads, the boy became ruler of the domain, and then king of Seireitei. He built a great fleet of ships and led the nation against the invaders. But this boy was a quiet intellectual. He saw the methods he would have to use to become king, the actions he would have to take to ensure obedience to his rule, and they disgusted him. He didn't want to be a ruler. He searched and searched for another possible thread, looking especially at the ones where Urahara became leader of his domain, for there were many of those." He paused, and the cabin was quiet. "But in all of those, all he saw was his city burning and heard the cries of the invaders throughout the streets."
There was a long silence. When the brown-haired man resumed speaking, his voice was quiet. "When the prophetic vision faded, the boy raised his head, and informed the courtiers that the Hougyoku had spoken to him and informed him that he was to rule the domain."
Orihime let out a breath that she hadn't known she'd been holding.
"But even after the boy was crowned lord, there was still resentment. Urahara refused to believe the ceremony had been legitimate. He fought at first in the courts of law, and gathered allies to support his claim. He undermined every attempt the boy made to establish his rule and unify the domain. As a result, the land was restless, and warring factions fought each other in the streets. Blood was shed.
"Finally, one day, in a private meeting, Urahara came to speak to the boy in the palace, and demand he abdicate. He even insinuated that the original accident, the fire in the palace that had killed so many people, had been no accident. Frustrated, the boy responded. He looked Urahara straight in the eye, smiled slightly, and nodded. 'Well. It was effective, was it not?'
"The effect on Urahara was instantaneous and gratifying. The man paled and his mouth opened and closed like a fish. He looked so shocky and his skin became so clammy that the boy thought he was going to pass out. Saying nothing more, he rushed out of the palace, and the boy later heard he had withdrawn to his mountain fortress, taking with him only his most loyal adherents. He sent word that he had thrown his support to the new lord. From that moment on, he was extremely deferential to the boy in all of their interactions." There was a wry smile on Aizen's face. He paused, looking off into the distance. Orihime sat still as a stone, almost holding her breath once again.
"The boy realized in that moment the value of illusion. The value of fear in inducing humans, who can be weak and vacillating, to take the necessary actions. Alas, sometimes fear is more effective than the desire for justice or the law." His eyes flicked to Orihime. "Although he always attempted to avoid the actual use of violence, he found that over and over again, the threat of violence was the most effective means to secure his subjects' adherence to the actions required to keep them on the path that would save them all." His eyes were narrowed now as he saw something not visible to Orihime there in the dim cabin.
"The boy communed with the Hougyoku many times after that. And in all of its visions, the path the jewel showed him was bloody and harsh; it was clear that the only routes to saving his country involved becoming a feared dictator, overthrowing the king in a bloody battle. Lives would be saved, but only if he imposed severe sanctions on the people, if he turned to despotism and terror as his weapons. Seireitei would continue, but its people, though alive, would be full of despair. He looked into the heart of his future self and saw that it had become black and desolate." He eyed Orihime briefly. "It was a terrible dilemma that appeared to have no good solution: either the destruction of his homeland or its enslavement. In agony, he returned again and again to the Hougyoku, looking over and over again for diplomatic solutions where he took the political road to power." He let out a long sigh. "Unfortunately, all of those ended in civil war, with Soi Fon and her allies attacking the new king… followed shortly by the bloody sacking of Seireitei by the barbarians." He fell silent for a moment, lost in his memories.
"But then, one night, the boy saw a historical play about a mythical pirate leader and the legendary country of Las Noches. The next day, as he sat in his private chambers closeted with the Hougyoku, he spotted a new thread, a low probability thread." He smiled. "This thread was almost like an adventure story. In it, the boy created a hidden identity as a rogue and a pirate, and not only did the pirate fleet's ravaging of the Seireitei's coastline cause all the domains to turn their resources to shipbuilding in order to combat his attacks, but shipbuilding skills throughout the realm were developed and expanded as locals saw a new market and began to sell ships to Las Noches. In the end, when the barbarian ships came to Seireitei, pillaging and destroying, the pirate sent his fleet to battle the invaders, narrowly defeating them when the newly strengthened fleets of many of the domains joined him. He came sailing into Seireitei's main harbor in triumph… and, with the aid of a number of secret allies on the Seireitei ruling council, was hailed as the new king when it was discovered that King Yamamoto died of an aneurysm when hearing of the invaders' plans. He became a hero to his people rather than a despot, and the boy saw that the country would flourish as a result, and that there was even a chance for happiness in his own life.
"But planning for such a low-probability future was quite risky. Some of the paths were not clear; others relied on further low-probability outcomes. Additionally, creating and sustaining the illusion that a bookish intellectual was really a ruthless pirate… was not without its challenges." He gave her a wry smile. "Of course, it helped that perhaps the pirate had always been within, and perhaps it was the other that had been the mask. Indeed, speaking of masks, the boy found that the legends of the past, of a ship crewed by supernatural beings with remnants of bone masks on their faces, were remarkably successful in intimidating certain of his opponents. The boy had bone masks fashioned for his 'pirates,' and found their success rates in battle went up dramatically." He smiled. "Never underestimate the power of psychological warfare on your enemies." His smile faded and he shrugged. "Regardless, over and over again, in all of the threads that led to the most successful outcome, one face appeared." He paused and glanced at Orihime once more.
"That face was yours." Orihime gasped, her eyes wide as she stared at him. "I had known of you, of course," he went on, casually. Orihime noted the change in pronouns almost absently, so caught up was she in the story. "But I knew you were promised to Kurosaki and that your family was known for its honor." He paused once more, scrutinizing her face. "In the visions, however, that led to the most favorable conclusion, you were there, rallying the people, speaking in front of large crowds, supporting me with your sweet voice and obviously pure heart."
Orihime did not move. Her eyes were riveted to Aizen's. His voice, when he finally went on, was low. "In those visions, you stood beside me holding the hand of a small child… our child."
Orihime could no longer breathe. Her hand crept to her belly.
"In those visions," Aizen went on in a whisper now, "you stood beside me as we were crowned King and Queen of Seireitei."
He stopped speaking and fell silent. In the silence, Orihime could hear the creaking of the ship, the slapping of the waves against the ship's hull, and voices faint in the distance. Neither of them spoke as Orihime's thoughts whirled, tumbling one past another in a confused but somehow relieved jumble.
After a very long pause, Orihime broke the silence. "What happened next? Did the country grow strong under our rule? Did our child grow up and become a wise ruler?"
Aizen looked up at her and stared, saying nothing. The silence stretched out between them and Orihime became uneasy at the intensity of his gaze.
Then, just as she was about to say something simply to fill the silence, he suddenly burst out laughing. "Curiosity! It is your besetting sin, my dear. Here I was on tenterhooks whether you would believe me or not, and it turns out you only want to find out how the story ends." He became serious once more. "The Hougyoku has never shown me any visions beyond that point in time." He smiled. "The legend of the jewel states that it only serves our family in times of great crisis. I take it to mean that after our marriage and coronation, we live free of crises and happily ever after."
"Marriage… and coronation?" Orihime's voice faltered.
"Yes." Aizen's gaze was once more unreadable. "I intend to marry you and crown you Queen of Seireitei, my dear."
Orihime drew in her breath, unable to speak for a moment. Then she found her voice. "And when were you planning to ask me to marry you?" Her voice was tart again, but there was an underlying softness to it this time.
Aizen laughed. "Have I ever given you a choice in anything, my dear?" Then he swept her up into his arms and his lips found hers, and any protests she might have been thinking of making were lost as his demanding tongue and mouth once again took possession of hers in that way that had become so familiar. And as she melted in his arms once again, she felt the utter security of being held in his grasp, of being encircled by his strength; and this time she felt a wonderful serenity and happiness, that he was not—completely—the rogue she had feared he was, and that at last there was no longer any question that she would belong to him, once and for all, now and forever.