two - how could you ever replace me?
Taylor had been pacing his room for near 2 hours after hanging up with Josh. He couldn't believe the things that his best friend (if he could even still call him that) had accused him of. Did Josh really think he was that terrible? To fool around with his best friend's girlfriend? Who also happened to be one of his best friends as well. It didn't make any sense to him. I mean, sure, maybe he did have a little crush on Hayley. He had since he met her. And really, who could blame him? She was cute, funny, smart, into all the same music as he was, played guitar and piano, sang like nobody's business. She was a total catch. But that didn't mean Taylor would stoop as low as messing around with her when she wasn't his. He was a better person than that.
But still, Josh's harsh words were bouncing around his skull. Particularly the last sentence he snarled before Taylor heard the dial tone.
And just so you know, you'll never replace me.
It had been an unexpected stab at Taylor's heart. He had just sat frozen with the phone still next to his ear. He hadn't really been thinking of...replacing Josh. No, he hadn't been. It was far too soon to even consider that. Hayley was still...Hayley. How had he forgotten about the girl that quickly? She was undoubtedly a mess, having just been dumped out of the blue. Had Josh accused her of the same things he had just accused Taylor of? He clenched his hand around the phone tightly. It made him angry to think about that. She didn't deserve those accusations. She loved Josh with everything; a blind person could see that.
That thought made Taylor's heart lurch, his stomach become a bit sick. But he pushed it aside and looked down to his phone, dialing the number he knew by heart.
One ring, two rings, three rings, four.
Hey, you've got Hayley here. I can't come to my phone right now, but leave me a message and I might call you back.
He hung up and immediately hit redial. He was greeted four rings later by the same message. Redial, voicemail. Redial, voicemail. He repeated the action for what seemed like hours, but in reality, was only 20 minutes. He gave up after the 12th try, tossing his phone to the bedside table and throwing himself down on his bed, staring at the ceiling.
How had all of this even happened? Yesterday was perfect; the three of them had gone to the county fair together. They'd had a blast. At least, Taylor had. Hayley had lugged her old camera with her; it was one of those dinosaurs that spit out polaroids. Josh had tried time and time to get her a nice digital camera, so it was more convenient for her, but she refused. Taylor knew why.
There was a dull thud on the other line and Hayley shuffled quickly, dropping her phone down on the bed sheets.
"Hay? You okay?"
She came back a few seconds later, tampering with something, if the soft clicking was any indication.
"My camera fell off the desk. Something popped out. Ugh, please don't be broken..."
Taylor chuckled to himself. She was always worried about that camera.
"Why don't you just let Josh get you a new camera?" he asked her. His best friend had been trying for forever to get the girl a nice digital camera. Josh had been planning on surprising her for her birthday with a little purple Nikkon he purchased on a secret trip to the mall with Taylor.
"I don't need a new camera," she said, voice indicating she was only half listening to the voice on the other line.
"I think your current situation begs to differ," he laughed.
There was a final click on the other line and Hayley sighed. "Got it."
Taylor rolled his eyes. "You're too stubborn. It's only a matter of time before it breaks for good."
There was pause, and Taylor could feel Hayley looking around her room shiftily, probably looking at all the polaroids she had taped to her walls.
"My dad gave me this camera, remember?"
Taylor's breath caught in his throat. He had totally forgotten. Hayley rarely talked about her father; in fact, he thought that maybe he was the only person she every talked to about him. Whenever Josh would ask what had happened to her father, she would freeze and refuse to talk anymore. Eventually, Josh gave up trying.
But Taylor hadn't, and he had pressed and urged her gently until she had told him at one of their band practices.
Hayley's dad had been in the air force, but on his off times while at home, he would take the girl to different cities and states, snapping pictures with his old polaroid camera. She had been everywhere with him; the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, the Great Lakes, Mount Rushmore. She had begun to fondly remember the times, reaching into her bag and pulling out a handful of polaroids, passing them to Taylor. They were ones he'd never seen before, and he realized quickly that that was probably because they were always in the girl's bag. There was one of her in front of a sign that said "Welcome to Forks", shooting two thumbs up at the camera. He chuckled to himself; she did love those Twilight books. In another, she was on a beach with a surfboard stuck in the sand next to her. On the other side of the board was a man; Taylor guessed that was her father. He looked hearty, like a real family man, and the way he was looking over at his daughter indicated that he loved her with everything. He looked at her like the world revolved around her.
"That one was the last picture I took with him," she had spoken up, her voice beginning to shake. "When we got home...he sat me and mom down for a talk. He told us that...he was going to be doing some work over in Afghanistan."
She sniffed and chuckled lightly.
"I was...possibly the dumbest 13 year old ever, because I didn't see what the big deal about it was. He'd been farther away that, I didn't get why Mom was crying so much or why Dad was looking like it was the end of the world. But I figured, it had to mean something big, because then he reached over and grabbed the camera. This camera...he loved the camera, he had bought it when he went over to France with his dad when he was a kid. But, he reached over and he grabbed the camera and he said, 'Hey, Spongebob, I want you to have this. I know you know how to use it, you know how to take care of it. I want you to have it.' Cue my denial, I started yelling, crying, pleading. Him..giving me the camera meant that he might not come back. I couldn't...I couldn't deal with that. I went and I...locked myself in my room. I wouldn't come out, not when mom told me dinner was ready, not when dad came to the door to tell me he was leaving. I was so hurt, it was like...it felt like he was giving up. I mean, if I knew that the biggest war in the whole freaking world was going on over there, I would have realized why. But I didn't...so I didn't."
The tears were streaming down her face now. Taylor wanted to do nothing but reach over and envelope her in a hug; she didn't need to finish, he already knew how this would end. But she wasn't looking at him anymore, instead staring at the polaroids in his hands. This was the first time she had talked about this to anyone, and she felt she needed to get it all out.
"I didn't even say a proper goodbye to him. I just stayed in my room and pouted. When I eventually did come out, Mom was a wreck. She couldn't do anything without bursting into tears and I eventually started having to make dinner for us, go grocery shopping for us."
She wiped her face off quickly with the back of her hand.
"After a few months of this routine, we got the call. A...missle hit his plane and...no one survived."
Her face twisted with the memory.
"My mom...she said she couldn't stay in the house anymore. I really couldn't blame her, there were too many...memories in the house. Too many memories left to torture us. We packed up our stuff and we moved here."
Somewhere in the midst of his thinking he had fallen asleep, and was awoken by a knock on his door. His older brother, Justin poked his head in.
"Mom wants to go out to eat and wants to know if you're coming," he informed Taylor.
Taylor sighed and ran a rough hand over his face. "No, I think I'll stay here. I'm not really in the mood."
Justin shut the door just as the sound of mewithoutYou began blasting from Taylor's phone. He recognized Hayley's ringtone and grabbed the phone quickly, answering and failing to contain the worry in his voice.
"Hay? Are you okay? I heard what happened from...how are you feeling? Do you need me to come over?"
There was a pause, and Taylor could see her running a hand through her pale blonde hair.
"I'll be over there in 10."