AN: SORRY I DIDN'T GET THIS OUT YESTERDAY! Grgh... I wrote it on my iPod but then I have to convert it and I was sooo buggered after my family picnic I fell asleep at my desk half-way through... So I didn't finish it and I woke up this morning (almost afternoon) thinking 'SHIT!' and felt really crap about it... Also felt crap cause I slept on my desk and killed my back and neck...
Oh! And how epic! Remember last chapter how I mentioned the right and left thing?! My bro bought me bracelets to remember! He made them discreet too... One says 'Love' the other says 'Righteous'... (he couldn't find something that discreetly said 'Left' but that's cool) HAHAHA! Now I just gotta figure out which hand to put them on! LoL... jokes... (blushes) he put them on for me... :)... Okay, equally as sad, but what of it?
I'm so glad people like my AN... I thought they were a bit sad at first, but you guys always get me so excited and I have so many weird things to write... LoL
Diva(dot)divine: I'm going to be completely honest with you, I read your review at three am on Christmas morning and sat there for twenty-minutes trying to find where I wrote 'baby giraffe' in the story... It was only as my father forced me to go to bed, did I realise you were talking about how you imagined him... (shakes my head) I need sleep.
Ladybug Jess: Baby steps, baby steps... Oh, something has been bugging me... And my brother... cause I asked him for advice... What is your avatar picture of?! Which movie is it from? We can't figure it out! I recognise it... but I don't... this could be really embarrassing if it's a photo of a friend of yours...
Ch3lsBishop: Aww, shucks... Yeah, the readers mean something to mean. (shrugs) I kind of want to be a writer, not for the fame but because I want to make people happy with reading. (Sounds sad, I know) That's why I like my reviewers because it means I made people happy... cheesy, yes? But really, while I am independent and headstrong, I'm just a people pleaser...
Alimard: Cool... like I always say, it's better to smile than frown... it means you'll need less botox when you're older ;)... Hehehe... Yeah, I kind of love writing about big brother/little sister relationships (cause I am a little sister and though I'll never admit it to Boofy (Justin) I love him and I look up to him... if he ever reads that, I'm dead)...
Moosemer11, Twilightcookie22, Aussie Panda, Mary, and November123: Thank you for your reviews and I'm glad you liked the Puck and Isla stuff... Here's the next chapter!
Fantasy's forever: I died at your comment... It's not wrong, it's pretty acceptable. ;) Oohh... Now I feel like bacon... and I'm a flexitarian... basically, I don't go out of my way to eat meat unless I'm really craving it... like right now... could go for a bacon, egg and cheese burger from maccas... Why'd I have to wake up after the breakfast run??
Lillyxx: Thanks for the review... I'm glad you like it and glad to have a new reader. Hope this is soon enough for you.
Karma22: It's cool, they can like... have you on weekends ;)... Told my brother and sister-in-law I'm adopting you and they just both looked at me like I was nuts... which I am. Totally agree with NCIS: LA... Look at the next reply too cause it involves you...
Greymalkin7: It's my secret as to why Rachel didn't tell Puck... (mwahahahaha!)
I'd just like to quickly point out, for all of those people who read my AN at the bottom of the last chapter... I don't have a dog... (If you don't understand, it's okay... if you do, sorry for misleading you all with my form of humour... lol) :)
Kkcnelson2002: No, that's totally cool... As long as you like something, I'm pretty chill on what it is. Yeah, I use my laptop in class (which does not help with my writing compulsion) cause handwriting is difficult... Seriously, I can't even hold a pen.
Lynn: Read!
Oh and this was your Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanza present because of the heavy Puckleberry action... Sorry it's a day late... MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Rachel was home alone, lying in bed. The curtains to her window had been tightly drawn (by Matt before he had left) and Artie had locked up her entire house for her (including windows that they normally left open). She cracked open her bathroom window and opened the door to let some sort of breeze in but she couldn't bear to open her bedroom window, more out of fear than anything else. "Stupid Jacob..." she muttered, pulling the covers closer to herself.
She was still cold from her lake dive and was hoping her vocal chords would not suffer. Rachel fluffed the cushion up underneath her and tried to get some sort of restful sleep before sunrise, but every time she closed her eyes she had an immense fear that someone was watching her.
But there was also another fear, burning deep inside her. Rachel couldn't quite put her finger on the exact thing that was bothering her and at the same time didn't want to know. Because if she knew the fear it meant that it could claim her. Then again if she didn't know what it was then it could claim her when she least expected it.
Deciding it probably wasn't the best time in the world to let her mind get away with her when the darkness did nothing but fuel her imagination, and this wasn't a topic she should let her mind runaway with, Rachel closed her eyes and imagined Finn, replaying the images of him from the past two days. She grinned with closed eyes as she thought of Finn diving after her, holding her up in the water. But Noah held you up in the water... The thought hit her so fast that she sat up, stunned with the realisation that it had been Puck, not Finn who grabbed her first when she started to sink under the water. She had sat on his knee while he kept them both above the surface. It means nothing, she convinced herself. You were just imagining your dream scenario and realised that you had been in a similar predicament.
So Rachel closed her eyes and drifted back into dream land, thinking once again of Finn. This time she dreamt of him and her on stage, singing 'No Air' to a crowded hall. The audience was applauding and Rachel was about to take her final bow when Puck turned up, standing on the edge of the stage. Rachel felt herself grow confused and fearful all at the same time. He was looking over the edge of the stage as if he was trying to approximate the distance. "Noah?" she questioned. Puck turned around and gave her a small smile. "Finn, stop him!" She turned to where Finn was, standing next to her, but he appeared to be frozen in time.
She turned back to look at Puck but he was tilting over the edge of the stage. Rachel took a running step and leapt out to grab him, to stop him falling. He turned at the last moment, facing her and catching her arm. Below the stage was the drop from the tree and to the lake, but it felt like a larger fall than what she originally anticipated. Puck pulled her through the air, closer to him until they were embracing in mid air. She buried her face into his neck and as he held her close to his body. She inhaled deeply and remembered his musky and spicy scent that was infused with the smell of sweat. But it wasn't a bad smelling sweat. It was a salty smell that seemed to invigorate her.
They splashed into the water, Puck's back breaking the water. As they were under water, Rachel had her eyes open and was staring straight into Puck's eyes. She moved her head down and he moved his up and in a very surreal moment she was kissing Puck under water. It wasn't like the make out on her bed which was spur of the moment and more for mutual pleasure. It also wasn't like the times she made out and kissed Finn which were timid, nervous and filled with sweet discoveries. This was passionate and filled with something she couldn't describe.
They emerged above the water, still kissing in a tight embrace and only broke apart when they heard a small child laughing. Rachel looked over Puck's shoulder to see a small blonde girl with big brown eyes and a goofy smile running toward her father. Her father was none other than Finn and Rachel wondered just how much time had passes while they were under water because the girl was almost four. Standing next to Finn was Quinn, holding his hand and staring at him and their daughter with a loving smile.
"Hey, babe. Don't worry about them." Puck took her face by the chin and forced her to look his way. "Hasn't he hurt you enough? Don't you just want to be free? Don't you know you have me?"
Rachel nodded briefly but then Puck let go of her and once again, she saw him falling, but this time through the water. Sinking in lower and deeper, so far that she could grab him. Rachel tried swimming, tried moving, tried doing anything to stop him from sinking further into the water, but she couldn't do anything but watch him close his eyes.
And with this, Rachel Berry awoke from her dream to the song 'I'm walking on sunshine' playing through her speakers. And she really was. Hot painful sunshine that left her whole body burning with embarrassment, confusion and sadness at what exactly her dreams entailed.
It wasn't just for the first morning after though. It was every morning after, her dreams altering slightly to be more devastating each night as Puck kept falling and falling.
~*~
It was one week later that Puck decided he needed to start his day normally again, even though he was tired as hell from the nightmares he was suffering from (and promptly forgetting for some odd reason). And seeing as his house was at the top of the street from Finn's, he could pretty much go on his usual daily run from his best friends house (which he was still living at). He took his usual root, right past Tina's house and would've kept running past had it not been for the fact Tina was sitting out the front of her house wearing black pyjamas and black fluffy slippers, nursing a cup of tea in her hands.
He sighed and slowed down, pulling his headphones out of his ears and walking up to her. "I haven't run past Artie yet Tina." he said clearly. "On my way back..."
"I'm not here to ask you about Artie." she said then paused. "Well, I'm here to talk about Artie, but not ask what he's been doing. I just... can you do me a favour seeing as you're the only mutual friend we have that I somewhat trust not to go telling anyone else or try to psycho analyse me?"
"Um..." Puck wasn't sure what to make of this 'friend' business. "Sure?" No you idiot... You should've said NO! "What do you need?" What do you keep me around for? Oh... that's right... You keep all those skinemax memories up here... (Bingo!*)
"Can you tell him, I'm done?" she said. "Because right now, I don't even know if he's reading my text messages. I'm just... I'm sick of being the one reaching out. I've tried to apologise, I really have but... I just can't anymore."
Oh fuck.
See... this is why you listen to me.
Shut up brain!
You're using your brain to tell your brain to shut up.
You doofus, you're now talking to yourself in your head.
Oh fuck.
"Uh, yeah." he winced at himself. "Sure."
Tina smiled at him and got on her toes, kissing his cheek. "Thank you Puck. Your not that bad of a guy, you know that?"
He sneered at her, "Babe, I'm a badass."
"Only in front of a crowd." she turned on her heel and went inside.
Puck wasn't to sure how to feel about that so he decided not to feel at all. As usual, he blasted his music into his ears and ran, his feet usual keeping beat to the music. He past all the normal houses, saw Brittany and Santana (Brittany actually leapt on him, begging to know if he was better and chatting on about how she was totally happy he was running again), Mr Hummel (who told him anytime he needed to talk he could go to him), Daniela (who interrogated him on where he had been the previous mornings because she had waited with water until Matt finally came outside and informed her Puck wouldn't be coming around... and she had overheard Quinn, Santana and Brittany talking about him running away the night she had slept over and she got really freaked out. So Puck gave her a hug and kiss before sending her inside, dazed and confused) and waved at Quinn (who looked at least happy to see him).
He had to admit, the last week hadn't been easy but to his great surprise (and everyone else's) Rachel had helped him through it.
Seriously. She had firstly reported the alcohol cabinet at school to Principal Figgins. When everyone complained about it (especially the poor freshman) she just stuck her nose up into the air and walked off after giving Puck a pointed look. She then just watched him. It was a little freaky sometimes, but other times it was calming. Like when she just stared at him while he waited for her to finish practicing after school or Glee. (Either him or Finn waited for her, usually Finn because they had something to practice and this left Puck to sleep. They did it because people were still giving her crap about the whole 'Blog' incident and there were still photos circulating the internet).
She also had this kind of protective stare too, which made Puck curious on many levels. They didn't really talk about their shift in relationship from enemies to friends, (well pretend enemies because after their hook-up they'd been friends, despite what Puck said... he even pretended to be interested in her vigorous tale about how exactly she'd gotten the Show Choir committee to include ballads), in fact they didn't really talk much about anything they should have. Instead, she tailed him around, while he was supposed to be tailing her around. He wasn't sure which of them was leading and which of them was following, but he knew one thing for certain... Rachel Berry could be silent when she wanted to be. This made him question why the hell would she talk at 50 mile per hour when she can convey everything she's trying to say with those big brown eyes of hers??? And when did I learn the word convey???
He knew Rachel was busting to ask him questions because her eyes were always shining with anticipation, but he was really glad she didn't, 'cause he couldn't stand questions. He did notice though that she didn't flinch anymore when she saw him in the hallway sipping on a slushie.
SLUSHIE!
He had to remember to ask her about the slushies. He always forgot. And the torture. He paid up, it was about time she did too.
He ran past Artie, who was wheeling around outside his house, as usual and he also remembered what he promised Tina. Puck slowed and jogged up the driveway. "Hey." he said, popping out his headphones. "Pass us the ball, would you?"
Artie looked at Puck with pure and utter confusion. Their usual ritual in the morning was Artie waved, Puck waved back. Continue with the day as if it never happened. If he had to make a bet with anyone, he'd say he'd probably be the first to break the tradition by actually speaking. Never would Artie have imagined it would be Puck who would take the next step.
But he threw the ball Puck's way anyway and watched as he caught it and jumped to throw it in the net. He caught it on the rebound, bounced it a few times and threw it back at Artie. "Uh, listen dude... I'm not good at this stuff but, Tina asked me to tell you something."
Artie did a double take. Tina went to Puck? I'm so getting Punk'd. "What?!"
"Yeah I know..." he frowned and rubbed the back of his scalp. "Since you two broke up she's been bugging me every morning on my run about what you're doing and how you look when I run past. And cause like, I pass her house first and last, she found me before hand this time."
Artie thought about this and then dribbled the ball in one hand while he wheeled with the other and threw the basketball into the hoop. "What did she say now?"
"Only that she's like... sick of trying. And that she's tried to apologise and shit and she can't take it." Puck tried to remember if he got it all and it sounded pretty right. "I think."
Artie nodded slowly and threw the ball in the hoop again. "Okay."
"Okay?" Puck was kind of surprised. Those two had been making moon-eyes at each other from day one. "Dude, aren't you truly, madly, deeply for her?"
With a small shake of his head, Artie leaned back in the wheelchair. "She lied to me."
Through the sequenced rumour mill (Kurt), Puck had heard that Artie felt betrayed by the whole 'Tina don't stutter' thing. "Dude, she lied to everyone."
"You wouldn't get it Puckerman." Artie grabbed his ball and put it on his lap. "See you at school."
"No, dude. Wait up." Puck jogged up to him and grabbed the back of his chair, keeping him from moving.
"You know, this is really damaging my self-esteem." Artie muttered.
Puck scoffed. "I used to slushie you and tried to tip you over in a potter-potty. I think me damaging your self-esteem is a given." He walked around him so he was standing in front of him. "Okay, I have not copped an earful every morning an earful of 'Artie-this' and 'Artie-that' from Tina for nothing. Now, listen here. Do you think she's hot?"
"I did..."
"No." Puck slapped Artie across the face once lightly. "Not, 'I did but not any more cause of personality'. Tell me know. Body. Do you think she's hot?"
He scoffed. "I'd be stupid not to."
Puck slapped him again. "Now why can't you just go and bone her?"
Artie blinked a few times. "Life doesn't revolve around sex, Puck."
"It so does." Puck grinned, because he'd thought about this quite a lot. "We live, because and for sex. The point of life is to continue it. Your parents had sex to create you. You're gonna have sex when you find a chick 'cause she's gonna wanna show you just how much she cares. Then dudes like you will get married and to show your love, you have sex. Then you have kids you need to have sex. You grow up and continue having sex because it makes the shit does times feel awesome. When you get some, you feel happy for days like your on drugs. If you don't you'll feel shitty. Then you die, all sexed out." Puck grinned, crossing his arms over his chest as if he proved life's mystery. "Life totally revolves around sex."
Artie dismissed this easily as 'Puck-talk'. "She lied to me." he repeated and Puck slapped him again then thought about it.
"I got a totally legit question Artie. If she never pretended to have the lisp at all, didn't lie to you and was still throwing herself on you, would you do her?"
"I'm not gonna..."
"Okay, okay... would you date her? If she had never lied and she was just a loner like you and you still had the hots for her, yada, yada, yada..." he rolled his eyes at himself and then looked back at Artie who looked floored.
"Probably not." he said, unsure.
"Why not?"
Artie narrowed his eyes. "I think you can figure why not." And just in case he couldn't, Artie waved his arms generally around his wheelchair.
"Well good." Puck grinned. "Cause now we know it's just in your head." He slapped Artie one last time.
"Why do you keep doing that?" Artie asked, rubbing his cheek.
Puck shrugged. "It's fun. Look, if she wasn't pretending to be a freak, you would still be in this position. It has nothing to do with the fact she lied. It's cause now she's not a freak and you're thinking that a freak can't date a normal kid. But dude, Tina's far from normal and you're not a total freak. Plus, doesn't maths say a negative plus a positive equal a positive?"
"No, it equals a negative."
"Oh." Puck frowned. "Shit, I'm sounding like Finn. Uh..." he punched Artie in the shoulder. "Just go and make out with her dude. Trust me, Asian girls are pretty freaky and their down for anything in the sack. Tina's already freaky in public so she's probably like... crazy in bed."
It was at this that Artie rolled over Puck's toes. "Hey!" he exclaimed, jumping back.
"Don't talk about her like that!" But that's all Puck wanted. To stir Artie to the point where he realised he was still in love with Tina.
Even though his toes were aching, he smiled. "See Wheels. You're totally head of tyres for Asian." Puck pushed Artie back a bit in case he tried to break his toes again and started running down off the street, plugging his headphones in.
Oh yeah... I can totally do that millionaire matching-making shit... And I only watched that show once 'cause there was a total MILF on it...
He kept smiling to himself, running down past Rachel's. He looked up, thinking he'd see her on her elliptical or something but instead he found her curled up at her window, her arms wrapped around her knees. He slowed from a run to a jog, just staring at her as he past by.
She gave a small smile but it barely reached her cheeks let alone her eyes. Puck tilted his head onto the side and decided that maybe he was on a winning streak today with fixing people's problems, so he might as well try it out with Berry. Plus, she was all on top of him (gutter!) with fixing his problems. He didn't like being helpless. He noticed the tree next to her window and remembered her saying that her dads were back in town so he didn't particularly want to use the front door. So he took a running jump and easily climbed up the tree, pulling himself up to her window.
Rachel looked half-way between shocked and petrified as she opened her window. "Noah!" she squealed. "What are you doing?"
"Move." he ordered her and she did so he could jump the small distance to her window, catch on and pulled himself in. He grinned at his own acrobatics, pretty damn proud of himself. "Oh, I still got it." He then looked at Rachel seriously. "You looked like your cat died, Berry."
"I don't have a cat." she said.
"So then you have no reason to look so depressed." he sat down at the edge of the window, trying to figure out why she could be upset. "You're still not thinking about that shit I told you the other day, are you? Cause it's not big deal." She had occasionally shot him really upset looks at which Puck would promptly get up, leave the room and buy her a grape slushie just so she could stop looking at him like that.
"Firstly Noah, you tried killing yourself when you were nine." He flinched at the words. He didn't quite think about it like that. He thought of it more as fighting with the grim reaper and coming out on top... on purpose. "It is a big deal. Secondly, that's not why I'm upset."
Puck didn't know she was lying through her teeth, but it didn't really matter to him anyway. Any sort of answer was legit enough for him. "Is there another pic up on the net from that blog?" he asked seriously.
Rachel shrugged, shaking her head. "Yes, but that's not it either. I just didn't sleep well last night. Or the night before for that matter." she rubbed the back of her neck tiredly. "And I really don't feel like chatting at the moment so could you please leave? Either the way you came or the front door, it doesn't matter." Rachel turned around to walk away from him but he reached over and grabbed her arm.
She flinched and Puck pulled back instantly, trying not to seem hurt by her reaction. "I was just gonna say Berry, that you can tell me." he tried to look serious instead of snarky. "Seriously. If it's about the blog thing, just tell me and I'll deal with it."
"Noah, that blog will be ruining my life for a long time." Rachel said sadly. "You're not going to be able to deal with it. Especially not with your brand of dealing."
"But my brand of dealing is badass and freaking cool. I mean, remember what I did to Jacob? On the downside, I'm never gonna be able to look at showgirls again, but on the upside, he got what he deserved." Puck grinned, hoping it would get Rachel to smile to. It did, but only a little. "Berry, tell me what's going on."
She shook her head, Puck not knowing she was trying to get rid of the images of him falling into the water out of her head. She knew he wasn't going to do that but she was petrified he might try. But she couldn't tell him that because Rachel was determined to stay strong. But she was slowly breaking from a lack of sleep from her various nightmares and the fact it took her an hour each night to convince herself their were no more cameras in her room. "When I sleep roughly, I wake up with migraines. It's not that I'm not happy that I have that delightful image of Jacob Ben-Israel hanging from the football posts to replay during my darkest hours, it's just that my head is making it difficult for me to feel overly emotional."
"Ahh..." Puck got none of that, but she had a headache and was happy with what he did to that Ben-Israel jerk. So he pieced together the rest. "Well have a painkiller and come to school." he walked back over the window. "And can you buy oreos on your way to school?"
"Why?" she asked.
Puck leapt out of her window, causing her heart to flutter for a moment while he was midair. But he safely landed on the tree and turned back to face her. "I don't know." He then swung down off the tree and Rachel brought herself back to the window to make sure he didn't hurt himself. "I just feel like it." He then looked up at Rachel and smiled. "I'll drive by and pick you up today. But like, be prepared for a packed car cause I've got Finn and Isla with me. I'll swing by at 8:15, okay?"
*Had to write it... I tried to delete it, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it...
AN: I'm so confused.... Like, my internet will show me webpages but it says I'm offline... then I'm going over the chapters of 'Use Somebody' and on one chapter it says I have 74 reviews and on the next it says 81... But on the main page is says 83 and my emails say 98 and my login says 99... I don't like being this confused... It makes me put my wrists to my head and try to push away the migraine that develops... I'm so utterly and horribly confused... I think I'm gonna cry...
Sorry your Christmas present was just a dream sequence but... it's a start? (Ducks from the flying tomatoes)... at least it's not knives this time... or was it a brick?
REVIEW! I'm two off one hundred and that kind of makes me happy ;) (Really makes me happy... like, breathing takingly happy...)