Disclaimer: I should own Degrassi. At least my writing has continuity (oh snap!)
Holly J took long strides, trying to put as much distance between herself and that place as possible. She knew it was a low blow. She knew she shouldn't have said it, but Darcy Edwards needed to learn when to shut the hell up. She just wanted to get out of there. For the first time all summer, Holly J was wishing that Yale would hurry up and get here so she wouldn't have to face any of them again.
"Holly J, wait," Eli called after her, "Where are you going?"
"Home," she yelled back, her voice shaking from the tears she refused to spill.
"Go to Morty, I'll take you."
"No, I'm walking." Eli ran to catch up with her, gently grasping her arm and turning her towards him.
"The fuck you are. I'm not letting you walk home alone, Holly J." He hooked a finger under her chin, pushing her head up, "Look at me. Do you want to tell me what that was all about?" She couldn't look him in the eyes. She had hoped that Eli would never see that side of her. All her old habits were coming up again; the rudeness and her stubbornness ruining yet another of her relationships. Eli clenched his jaw and briefly looked away, letting go of her, his anger starting to come to the surface. "Clare told me what happened to her sister. That's one of the reasons I never pushed her to have sex," he started in a calm but tense voice that terrified Holly J, "And I never wanted to believe what Peter and those guys said, that you were scary and mean and everyone hated you… but now I can."
Her eyes shone with tears that Eli could see, even through the dark. What could possibly be her defense? She had none. Yes, Darcy had been rude too, but Eli had thought that Holly J would have just walked away. At least, the Holly J he knew would have just walked away.
"It just… came out," she said softly, "When I'm pushed like that, I turn into… into the girl I used to be. The girl everyone hated. I'm so embarrassed and I shouldn't have said it. I'm so sorry." The girl before Eli looked just like that: a girl, not the mature, confident young woman that he had gotten to know so well. He didn't know this regretful, sad, pathetic person.
"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," and he turned from her, making his way across the street. Holly J's face crumpled, the tears finally spilling down her cheeks. What could she do? Even if she went back up to there, Manny wouldn't let her near Darcy, let alone talk to her and try to apologize. And now even Eli was giving up on her as he fished the keys to his car from his pocket. This whole night had been so messed up. He was going to leave her after everything they had been through this summer, with Declan and Julia, their parents, Clare, her friends, her own insecurities… Now he knew the real Holly J Sinclair… and he didn't want her anymore.
"Are you coming?" Eli called from Morty's driver's side, starting the engine, "I'm not going to leave you out here by yourself. I'm taking you home." Holly J gasped softly in relief and ran over, sliding in. Eli sighed to himself, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. He slowly met her gaze, his usual warm, green eyes growing cold, "Clare's going to hear about this, guaranteed, if she hasn't already, knowing Alli. You may get to leave all this in two weeks, but I still have a good year with these people, so don't bother calling me until you talk to Darcy," he said softly. He couldn't be with her when she was like this.
"I will. Of course I will," Holly J responded, thankful that Eli wasn't going to give up on her.
"Give me a reason to defend you, Holly J," he begged. She softly closed her eyes and let a small tear fall. This was her fault but he was going to have to deal with the mess. It wasn't fair.
"I will."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Go away. You're the last person she wants to see."
"Please, Manny, just let me talk to her," Holly J asked as she stood on the Edwards' doorstep.
"Are you cuckoo bananas? I don't know if you realize but you crossed a line last night. I've never seen Spinner so mad," Manny said, blocking the doorway.
"I know and I want to apologize."
"A Sinclair apologizing? You're joking, right?"
"No, I'm not. I'm not my sister, Manny. I've changed a lot since you were at Degrassi."
"Let her in," a small voice came from just behind Manny, "I want to forgive her, so let her in." Shaking her head, Manny stepped to the side and Holly J entered the house, Darcy frowning at her from across the hall. She was still dressed in her pajamas, no make up, her eyes puffy and raw. Holly J only looked around the house, trying to figure out exactly what she was going to say.
"You're house is very nice…" Holly J tried lightly, hoping to ease into things.
"Speed it up, Sinclair," Manny said tersely, closing the front door. Darcy just folded her arms in front of herself, sighing.
"Right, sorry. Um…" and Holly J took a breath, calming her nerves, "I want to apologize for what I said to you last night about your virginity. What happened to you wasn't your fault and I shouldn't have tried to use it against you. I'm sorry." Darcy could only look down at her slippered feet and Manny just pushed past Holly J, walking into the kitchen with a judgmental scoff.
"I had nightmares about him, Holly J," Darcy said softly, "I didn't even remember who he was but I could still dream about him. It took me a long time to accept what had happened and even longer to work through it."
"I know, and I'm sorry. What I said was horrible and to have it happen in front of everyone was even worse."
"Why would you even say it then?"
"I don't know. I was hurt, I guess. I just… I didn't steal Eli. He and Clare broke up in June and he and I didn't get together until July. They had been over for a month, over a month and it angered me that anyone would think that I would steal someone's boyfriend. I'm not like that." Darcy considered Holly J's words for a moment. Things had gotten so heated between the two girls last night that it was hard to remember who started what.
"Clearly, I had my facts wrong. I'm sorry I accused you of stealing Clare's boyfriend. She didn't tell me details, only that she had heard about you two," Darcy explained, "And thank you for your apology. Now, if you don't mind, I would rather not see you ever again. Stay away from me and my family and don't try to talk to me if we do run into each other. Sound good?"
"Fine by me," Holly J said as she turned to leave.
"Oh, and Holly J? I hope Eli has as easy of a time forgiving you as I did. But, then again, Clare said that he's an atheist so forgiveness isn't really a part of him, is it?" Darcy threw at her. Biting the inside of her lip, Holly J closed the door behind her before she said something else that would make her have to beg forgiveness.
Darcy was right on one thing though. Holly J was going to have to make this up to Eli and she knew just how to do it. With a small smirk on her face, she walked down the block towards downtown, heading to the costume shop.
A/N: Thanks for reading! What does Holly J have in mind to make it up to Eli? Special thanks to Steff for talking this chapter through with me and risking spoilers along the way. Reviews are awesome fresh baked cookies! See you next week!