The wind beneath my wings was… comforting. The falcon instinctually wouldn't let me land in any place for very long, since somehow I was being hunted now, but I'm alright with just coasting around the forest until I have to get back to school. I have no idea what I'm going to do once I have to get back. I can't stay in my room, or with any other house. Unless, of course, Bry is willing to share her bed. But she's not even in my year, and if I remember correctly her year is still very immature. Rumors will be flying around – ridiculous rumors, but still rumors.

That's so far from what I need to be thinking about that it's ridiculous. I need to be deciding what to do about Oliver; this is one of those decisions that will affect my life forever. If I decide to trust Wood and come back to him, no matter how unlikely that is, and he's genuinely a Death Eater, then what does that make me? How could we bridge that gap in the relationship? Wouldn't it just be easier to break it off now?

But I've lived without him, even knowing he's a Death Eater, and… I can't imagine any relationship problem as being worth it. Maybe that's just me being a weak little teenage girl, but I just… I can't see it. It's ridiculous, it's horrifying. It makes me want to dive into the trees and never be Aly Darling again. The problem with that plan is that I can't get away with it.

So does that mean I risk my life, and the life of everyone at Hogwarts, by protecting Wood? Isn't that a little selfish? What if the Dark Lord attacks, and people get hurt? I'll always have to know that I could've done something to stop it – I could rat Oliver out and potentially save the school. But my recovery is… questionable. Apparently my love for Wood is so… so a part of me that without him there, for me to express my love to, I'm in physical pain. Which, for the record, I think is ridiculous.

Wishing that falcons could sigh, I let myself land on a thick branch, carefully changing back into my human form so that I could actually sigh. Once said breathing was done, I turned against the branch to lean against the trunk of the tree, watching the floor of the forest in hopes of somehow finding the answer. All I saw were a few squirrels and one oversized spider, though. How does that help with my dilemma?

Groaning, I fell back into the tree, running my hands into my hair and trying to forget how usually Oliver would grab my hands and let me squeeze his, even if they were rougher and not at all the same… consistency as my hair. Oliver's hands were just as comforting, if not more. And his chest was better than this tree trunk in almost every way. The bark is stabbing me and making me itchy.

"You are very lost, my student," I heard a deep voice call up to me, and I nearly fell off the branch at the voice.

I gasped as I looked downwards, slightly shocked at seeing my old Divination teacher standing at the base of my tree, his neck craned up towards me. "Uh, hello… Firenze."

"Ah, Miss Darling," Firenze commented, obviously just realizing who I was. He shook his blonde hair out of his face, "You are very far from Hogwarts, Miss Darling."

I sighed, "I know, I know."

"Are you lost?" I shook my head, slipping down off the branch and opening my arms in preparation for my wings. I landed, as a bird, easily on Firenze's back, and he nodded, not looking particularly surprised, "Well, that explains how you got out here."

I hopped from Firenze's back to the ground, transforming slowly back into human form so that I could talk to him, "Yeah, you obviously haven't heard about my jumping from my dorm window yet."

Firenze carefully shook his head, looking especially majestic in the twilight of the Forbidden Forest, "You jumped out of your dorm window?"

I nodded, trying to seem normal, "How are your classes going this year?"

Honestly, I missed Firenze's class; it was fun, and interesting. He actually taught me something about being able to tell the future, even if I never once was able to read the stars in his class. He gave me good marks, too. Not to mention it was really easy to take a nap in.

"Well enough," Firenze commented, looking down at me, "I'd suggest we start heading back to Hogwarts; hop on."

I was honestly not sure how to respond to Firenze's request; wasn't riding a centaur supposed to be really horrible? Like, not allowed, really degrading kind of bad? And do I even want to go back to Hogwarts just now? "I… I can fly, thanks."

Firenze's blue eyes sparkled, obviously intrigued… or something. "I appreciate your offer to help keep my honor intact." That's what his eyes are sparkling with. "But I saw you enough in my class to know you need to talk, and would rather not have you walking and slowing me down."

I rolled my eyes, accepting Firenze's arm to pull me up onto his back. I didn't realize how uncomfortable riding was, but the awkwardness may be owed to the fact that instead of a horse's neck, there's a human torso that slightly restricts movement. Then again, I don't have to worry about anything. Except for, you know, the fact that my boyfriend and my first love is a Death Eater whose sole mission is to convert me.

"So, what is troubling you, my most instinctual student?" I rolled my eyes. Leaning back and resting one of my palms on Firenze's rear end. I considered how open I should be with Firenze – I can't tell him everything, but can't I tell him a little? He isn't the most predictable person, but he seems caring enough.

"What… what have you been seeing in the stars, Firenze?" Maybe I can get my answers without actually telling him what's wrong, and once I have my answers I can fly away.

"Why don't you look yourself?" If I could see my old teacher, I know he'd be looking smug right now.

I scoffed, "You know I was no good at Divination; I don't have the inner eye." Firenze scoffed openly at the imitation of the older teacher.

"You were fine at reading the stars; your instincts were usually right. It was your lack of faith in the subject that was your downfall." Firenze sighed, craning his neck back to look at the few stars that were shining in dark redish twilight, "The stars foretell a rough night; a storm, possibly halfway through the night."

Firenze trailed off, and I felt my first violent urge towards my Divination teacher in who knows how long, "Anything besides the weather report?"

"The first few stars rarely tell anything else."

"How about your impression these past few nights? Anything?"

"I see that the war will continue, if anyone had any question of that at all," Firenze stated, his head still craned as his strides lengthened under me, making me nervous, "I see that a hero will soon emerge, though whether it is a hero on the side of the Dark Lord or the side of the young Harry Potter's I can't be sure." Well, that's the least helpful thing I ever heard. Almost. "I can't see anything specific, but big things are in the works."

I rolled my eyes, "Big things are always in the works – I wrote that on every prediction I ever made."

Firenze chuckled again, in a strangely upbeat mood. Once he'd quieted down, he turned to look at me over his shoulder, "What is troubling you, dear Head Girl?"

"What do centaurs think about love?"

"Love is destructive," was Firenze's immediate response. He continued after a few seconds, "Love distracts people, it forces people to make decisions in ways they wouldn't have made otherwise, it changes people in unimaginable ways." There was another pause, and I felt absolutely horrible about myself. Firenze just confirmed everything I'd spent the entire day worrying about. Love ruins everything. "But.." Firenze paused for a moment, "But love is all powerful; something done in the name of love is always forgiven in my culture."

I groaned, falling back almost completely, only just able to remain semi-upright, "That helps nothing!"

Firenze scoffed as the forest slowly started to thin, meaning we were getting closer to the school, "Love often doesn't, not really."

"Just get me back to school; I need food from the House Elves." Whether or not it's time for dinner, or dinner's still going on, I'm not going anywhere in public. I don't think I could handle the staring, the pointing, the shocked looks on people's faces when they realized I actually came back.

My hands felt comfortable and familiar in my hair, which was admittedly wet and newly washed. I'd taken the chances of being caught by Wood to take a shower, since I still felt gross and sweaty from my… activities last night. I tried not to remind myself that the hands that had wrapped around me last night were the hands of a Death Eater so that I didn't waste time scrubbing the 'germs' off me. It's not contagious.

And now I'm trying to decide whether or not to risk being with Oliver, or risk my life by turning him in and getting him kicked out of school. Certain words haunted me; certain words were always haunting me. Oliver claiming that he did everything he could to protect me, Firenze's explanation of what love is, in his views, Ginny talking about Oliver's father…

Nothing was making sense, but it was all flying around in my head, jumbled and cruel and torturing me. How could I know what was happening, what was actually the truth and what was all just a lie? Was there any actual lying? What Oliver said fit with what Ginny told me, so if he were lying he'd have needed at least three months and Ginny to do it. And that seems unlikely.

So at least I know that, at some point, he was good. At least, my version of good; right now he's his father's good. And none of that actually made sense but I'm just trying to piece everything together logically since my emotions are so jumbled.

Not to mention I'm trying to fit my being in love with him into everything. Does he actually know I love him? I can't really remember whether or not I said it at some point last night. And if he knows, is that going to change how he feels about his position in the war? Would it even be possible for him to switch sides again?

The real question – is it worth it to risk my emotions to tell him that if I think it's possible that it could help him to switch sides?

There are two parts of that real question – is it possible that knowing I love him could change Oliver's priorities? Yes. Yes, definitely. That's just what love does, right? It's a rearranging of priorities, or results in the rearranging of priorities.

Is it worth it?

I was through the bathroom door before the single word was coherently thought: yes. Yes, if knowing I love him could change his mind, it was worth it for him to know. Even if that meant him knowing that he'd gotten to me, that he was under my skin and a part of me, and even if it meant that he didn't change.

The bathroom was a blur, but that didn't matter. I'd seen the bathroom too many times to care about it anymore. I had tunnel vision, or something, but all I could see was the door to Wood's apartment. I trusted that he was alone; he's not social enough to have anyone over on a Sunday night. Unless it's a Death Eater meeting.

Before the door was completely opened, I started to shout, "Oliver Wood, I love you!"

Maybe it's not over yet; somewhere inside him
There must be some new dream awaiting the top of the rest
When he finds himself feeling alive yet alone
Maybe the best he can get is still out of his reach
Ran from the life that he hates hoping to find some new beginning
Abandoned the future they gave and took away, knowing what they would say
Destined to rise above all the simplified answers they gave him
Back there when surronded by love he could not make
A sense of feeling alive yet alone
Maybe the best he can get is still burned by his fate
Yet he knows he's the champion of the planet
But he's told he was wrong for somehow deciding
To run from the life that he hates hoping to find some new beginning
Abandoned the future they gave and took away, knowing what they would say

"AWOL" by Yellowcard