Disclaimer (haven't done this for a while): If I owned Glee, they'd all sing Reproduction from Grease 2... and when they say, 'See what happens when a boy and a girl don't know how to play it safe?' they'd point at Quinn and Puck would say, 'I got your pistol right here!' AND 'What's the big deal? Can't a girl just do that thing in a book where she adds up the days of her uh... what do you call it? Mentalstration!' I love that song...

Puck pulled over on the side street and tilted his head back. He felt the emptiness again. The numbness that stopped while he was with Rachel. And he had to put his head on the steering wheel for a moment to stop it. Because it all came flooding back.

You're just like your dad...

And you want to be there for Quinn...

You can't be there for yourself... You need Rachel to do that...

Since when did I need anyone?

You're just like that jerk...

At least he was drunk when he beat people up.

What would you do when your kid grows up?

Isla's probably freaking out...

You can't even keep her safe anymore.

You have to you're all she has left.

And you have to take care of this new baby.

She has Finn.

Quinn has Finn.

Finn has family.

Isla just has you.

Poor girl.

Puck started up the car again, thinking that maybe his thoughts were too destructive for his own good. He wasn't no emo suicide idiot... He just had to figure out how to clear his head. Probably without the need to hold Rachel's hand because it's not that she wouldn't be there forever, it's that she couldn't.

So he inadvertently took a page out of Rachel's book and made a list of things he had to do. Firstly, talk with his mum. Tell her the truth. The ENTIRE truth. Quinn Fabray and all. So she knew why he was feeling particularly shit about all of this. And let her explain why she was letting that asshole back in without him getting his panties up in a knot.

The only problem with that was that he needed to go to his house to find her. And he was at his house. That definitely put a dent in his perfect scheme, but he'd deal later.

Then he needed to talk to Quinn. Because he needed to tell her something. Something that she really needed to know. He couldn't believe he was going to do this, but he needed the whole pregnancy thing off of his conscious. For good.

The last thing he needed to do was talk to Finn and Isla. Separately, but about more or less the same thing. That's he was really sorry about acting like a jerk and that they could stop freaking out about him. Because he really was trying to be better. Or at least, from now on he was trying.

He reached down and picked up his phone to find three messages only.

[QBFinn]: 1 reQst... Dnt die. Tld Isla u ddnt 4get her... ur jst in a crazy place. Tht got her lafin... got me lafin 2. Jerk.

[Q]: R u k?

[Mum]: Finn told me this was probably the best way to contact you. When you are feeling better, please call me. Or come see me. It's still your home Noah. I love you.

Puck swallowed and nodded at his phone which he realised a second later was pretty stupid, but it didn't matter by then. He cleared his mind and followed the hapless streets until he reached his own home. Briefly, he smiled. Because his mum had forgotten to trim the hedges again.

The most normal thought he'd experienced in ages filtered through his mind. Shit, I'm gonna have to prune those bitches again... And smile spread across his face. Because no matter what, that was his home.

He got out of the car, locked it up, and followed the path to the door. He didn't bother knocking, the keys still on his keychain. He opened the door and shoved the door open, thinking it would still be a little stiff.

But it wasn't.

Puck actually stumbled through the door because it glided open with ease. Usually he had to put all of his weight on it because it would jam. Cautiously, Puck swung the door back and forth, testing out its hinges. That's when the normality stopped.

"Who's there?" Puck's head snapped up to the voice. The mans voice. Josef's voice.

Puck grabbed the door and was about to swing it back, slamming it shut, but Josef jogged in from the living room and stopped, seeing Puck. Puck stopped too, unsure of what to do now that he had been seen.

He swallowed once. Twice. Three times.

It didn't get rid of the tension in the room. Actually, with each swallow Puck was sure the tension increased tenfold. "Hello Noah." Josef said, calmly putting his hands by his side.

"H-Hi." Puck said, moving back, out of the doorway and onto the front porch. "Is... Is mum home?"

In one hand he had a dishtowel, the other a glass. He had been doing dishes. Puck tried to remember back to when he was younger, if he had ever seen his father doing dishes before. "No, she ain't. Some girl... Saksi or something..."

"Saskia." Puck murmured.

"Yeah, her. Got sick. Your ma had to cover for her."

Puck nodded. "Um... okay. I've... I'm gonna go."

Josef took a step forward and Puck took a quick step back. "Noah wait. Can't we talk?"

Puck scoffed, "Are you gonna deck me again?"

"Depends. Are you gonna throw a punch at me again?" Josef looked at him seriously.

He looked down at the ground and scuffed his shoes. "Yeah, maybe."

Josef sighed and put the glass and dishtowel down. "Then I'll try not to deck you. Come in."

But Puck didn't want to walk any closer to his dad. So he just stood there. Josef sighed and turned away, walking into the living room and sitting down. Puck could see the side of his head from the door. "Come in, Noah."

Dude, man the fuck up! You're Noah Puckerman! Badass extraordinaire. Go do this shit, NOW! Puck really couldn't argue with his subconscious and he briefly wondered why it sounded like Mike before a big football game. But he quickly dismissed that thought and walked inside, closing the door behind him. He walked over, threw his jacket on the couch and walked around his father carefully. "What?" he asked, flopping down onto the one-seater.

Josef took in a deep breath and then looked at Puck straight in the eyes. "I'm an idiot."

"You can say that again." Puck growled.

"Fine." Josef sat up a little straighter. "I am an idiot."

"Now I just wish I'd had a camera."

"You're making this harder than it already is, Noah."

"I don't think you understand how hard this is." Puck said, his voice raising a little. "Just get to the point so I can get out of here."

Josef sighed and rubbed both hands through his hair. "I've screwed up my life and yours. I'll admit to that. I'll admit to everything I've ever done wrong."

"Can you remember half of it cause you were drunk for most of your fuck-ups." Puck spat.

Josef shook his head, his head in hands. "No. No, I don't remember a lot of it."

"Yeah, well I don't have that privilege." Puck noticed he was sitting on the edge of his seat and calmed enough to slam back into it.

Josef looked up to the ceiling then back at Puck. "I lost my son."

Puck narrowed his eyes, glaring right at Josef. "Yeah, I fucking know."

"Not you." Josef shook his head and breathed deeply. "Well, I've lost you but... I lost my other son."

Puck was floored by this statement and after a few moments he fully registered. "Someone else let you fucking reproduce with them?! And you let them?! Instead of coming back to your own family?!" Puck didn't notice he was standing but Josef stayed where he was.

"Yes."

There were so many questions Puck wanted to ask Josef at that moment, most of which included a vast array of curses, but only one question popped out of his mouth. "How'd you loose the kid?"

"His mother killed him." Josef said simply.

Yet again, Puck was floored and he fell back into his seat. "What?" he asked dumbly. "Why?"

Josef shrugged. "She was a prostitute. Andréa. When she found out she was pregnant, she kind of demanded I help her out. So I did. I let her live with me and when the kid popped out, we had a test to see if I was the father. I was and I didn't really give two-shits about the kid until he was gone."

Puck didn't care about that. "Why'd she kill him?"

"Post-something psychosis." Josef said. "Well, that's what she pleaded in court. She got off on the fact she was shit-crazy. It was only then I found out she was neglecting the kid."

"Wait..." Puck put his hand up to stop Josef. "Weren't you living together?"

Josef shook his head arrogantly. "No, by then she'd moved in with her new boyfriend. I got to the kid every weekend and usually Gisela would take care of him."

"Gisela?"

"Uh..." Josef scratched the back of his head. "Girl next door in the apartments I lived at. She was about your age. I was never home so I'd dump him with her and went out drinking."

"How'd you get money?" Puck had to ask. Because Josef had an apartment plus he was paying house bills here plus he could afford to let some prostitute live with him. Fuck that, he could afford a prostitute.

Josef scoffed. "Same way I've been getting money since I was your age. I'm Jewish Noah. I've got plenty of dead rich relatives who left me everything in their wills."

"So you're stinking rich basically." Puck guessed.

"I got enough to keep me comfortable." Josef looked at his hands.

Puck felt sick again and was half tempted to run upstairs and throw up. But he wasn't through with this yet and he realised he might as well get the whole thing over with. "Why are you back then? Why can't you buy your own place and leave us alone?"

Josef's gaze snapped up and he glared at Puck. "Didn't you hear a word I just said? I lost my son."

Puck glared angrily. "And while it kills me to know that I had a brother who probably had no fucking idea what having a proper family was like, what does it have to do with you being back here, ruining my life?"

"I didn't know his name!" Josef yelled, standing up, looking a lot angrier that Puck had thought he would get. He pushed himself further back into the couch and waited. "I fucking couldn't remember his name when the cops called me up to tell me my ex had killed my son. I could remember yours, but I couldn't remember his. It was only because Gisela told me did I remember."

Puck didn't say anything, so Josef went on his rant, pacing in front of him. "Then they showed me him. And I realised he was three. And he should've been walking around, saying shit. But I'd never heard him talk. Fucking hell, I don't remember him growing up. Then I thought he kind of looked at you at three and I thought, 'Fuck, Noah's probably a lot older now.' I tried remembering how old you were last time I saw you and I kept thinking six. When I thought about how many years I'd been gone, I thought only five. I thought you'd be only twelve at the most now." Josef had slowed and was just standing now.

"I went home and called your mother. First time I called, I didn't say anything. She hung up, so I called back. She started yelling at me and before she could hang up, I said her name. It was like a fucking light bulb turned on in my head when she hung up crying. Whatever rules this planet was punishing me. Cause I left you guys, so it took away my new son as punishment. I called back again and eventually, your ma picked up the phone and let me talk to her. She said it had been six years and that she had Isla and that you were seventeen almost.

"I've been sober for... eight months now." Josef scoffed, his own face surprised. "Been in Lima for three months."

"Whoa, whoa, stop." Puck scrunched his face. "You've been occupying the same city as me for three months? And I didn't know?"

Josef shrugged. "I was quite good at avoiding you. Your mother knew I was here and we met up once or twice. I've come over a couple of times, while you were out for your run or at Glee and football."

Puck's jaw slackened. "You've... you've been here?!"

Josef looked at Puck as if he was an idiot. "It's my fucking house, Noah."

With an angry growl Puck tried to control himself but ended up snapping out, "I've been fucking fixing it up for the past how many years."

"You forgot the door."

"I liked the door." Puck bit out. "Made it impossible for robberies."

"And for your mother."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "Isla couldn't open it either. So I knew she could run around the house and if she was distracted by something outside the window, the only way she could get out was if she asked me. I liked the door."

Josef nodded slowly and leaned back to sit on the lounge again. "Get why I wanted to come back now?"

Puck scoffed, "Yeah. You're feeling sorry for yourself and are trying to make up for being a deadbeat father to..." Puck frowned. "What the fuck was my brothers name by the way?"

Josef reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. From that he withdrew a well worn photo, handing it to Puck. "Ethan. Ethan Zaire Puckerman. It was taken two months before he died."

Puck looked at the picture and saw a toddler, no older than two, grasping onto a denim pant leg. The kid was wearing denim overalls and a green polo shirt with no socks or shoes and he had a head of hair flying up at all sorts of odd angles. Puck couldn't help but smile at the chubby kid who was looking up to whoever's leg he was holding. He had the Puckerman eyes. "He looks like a boy version of Isles." he said quietly, running his thumb along one of the creases that so happened to run along side the kids cheek.

"That's what your mother said."

Puck snapped back to his dad. "So ma knows all about this."

Josef nodded. "She's the one who helped me get sober. One sending me to therapy too, which shits me."

"You fucking need some intensive therapy." Puck muttered.

Josef nodded, agreeing. "Yeah, I know I'm a fuck up already."

"You're more than that." Puck stood up. "You're a deadbeat too. You're screwed in the head and no matter what you've been through, I can't believe mum let you back in. Cause you put us through ten times fucking worse." Puck didn't throw back the picture but politely handed it back. Cause it was a picture of his brother, no matter what he thought about the father they shared. "I don't think the kid deserved this." He couldn't bring himself to say Ethan for some reason. "But I think you deserved the pain and the wake up call on how much of a fuckwit you actually are." Josef looked up at Puck, rage in his eyes. "Sound cruel?" Puck said, his voice emotionless. "Like I said, I wish that didn't happen to the kid. That's fucked and cruel. But I can't say I'm surprised. I'm not. It's you. If it wasn't her, it would've been you."

Just before Puck finished his sentence, Josef got up, lunging at Puck. Right after he said 'you' his head was slamming into the wall behind him. Puck hissed in pain but it turned into laughter just as the first punch was delivered. "See?" Puck scoffed. "You're sober you idiot. Imagine what you would've done to him when you were drunk." Another punch. When then third one came his way, Puck moved his head so Josef's hand went through the plaster. It was stuck there for a moment. A moment in which Puck chose to punch Josef in the gut then grabbed his shoulders to deliver his knee to Josef's face.

Both of them were bleeding from their noses, Puck also from his mouth. "This is why Ma agrees with me." Puck growled, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. "You were never just a drunken fighter, were you?"

Josef shook his head. "You deserved that one."

"Is that what you're gonna say when Isla ticks you off one day and that walls her face?" Puck asked seriously. "Or fuck Isla, cause I ain't ever leaving you alone with her. What about Ma? She ticked you off lately enough for you to throw a punch?"

"No." Josef said but looked down at the ground.

Puck narrowed his eyes. "See, if you'd have decked Ma, she would've called me instantly. Cause she's stupid, but not that stupid. She wouldn't want to go back there, to when you were punching her. The fact you're looking like you're lying means you've felt like punching mum but you've just controlled yourself. But you can never control yourself around me."

"You can take it better." Josef muttered. "It's a fairer fight."

"Wasn't when I was nine."

"Now it is." Josef met his gaze. "You've grown a lot Noah. If anyone can take my shit, it's you."

"Doesn't mean I want to take it." Puck shook his head. "You know what's sad? I tried killing myself over you."

"You tried what now?"

Puck nodded. "Killing myself. When I was nine. Mum doesn't know, so don't bring it up with her. Finn, remember him? Tall gangly looking kid. He's been my best friend from five?"

Josef frowned, shaking his head. "I know him, but I didn't know that you knew him from five."

"Yeah well, I did. He saved my life. I tried to drown." Puck snorted. "At first I didn't know if I wanted to but when I was under I did. Do you think that if I'd died that night, you would've changed this quickly? Don't answer that, I don't want to know." Puck picked up his jacket and walked to the door. "You're not gonna be a good father, even if you can be. Cause I ain't letting you come near Isla and you most definitely ain't coming near me. Got it? Good."

Puck went to leave but Josef caught Puck's arm. Puck would've turned around and punched him, but Josef's grip was loose and not demanding. "Take this." he said and Puck then saw a second photo of Ethan in Josef's empty hand. "I'd never give you the other one. Only photo I've got with my boy. But this one you can have." Ethan was staring up at the camera, this time wearing cargo pants a blue t-shirt. He was staring up at the camera with wide large eyes.

"Thanks." Was all Puck could say. He walked out of the living room and out of the house, a new feeling in his gut. Because whilst that visit hadn't assured him of his future, it did assure him of one thing. He could be ten times a better father than his dad had ever been. And that made him a bit happier.

Finn, first. Mum later... His mobile went off and when he checked it he gave a half-laugh.

[QBFinn]: Rach is online. Told me u left. Where r u? If u say Lake, I'll shoot u.

Puck typed something in quickly and hit send.

[Puck20]: Lake. Bring Isla + beer. Meet at the park.

[QBFinn]: U r dead 2 me.

Puck jumped into his car then received another message.

[QBFinn]: Q is comin 2. She's over + she can distract Isla.

[Puck20]: And ppl say ur dumb.

[QBFinn]: Hu says that?

I'm really sorry but tonight, no replying to reviews... I just got home from the beach three hours ago... Its two-thirty am. I ended up spending the entire night with this guy I really like but is probably never going to ask me out because I know all the girls he's dated... they're like twenty-times hotter than me... and skinnier... and sluttier...

Plus the dude thinks of me like his little sister so he buys me milkshakes and death glares the Indian guy at 7/11 who always asks me out even though I've rejected him about 20 times... He's 35, I'm 16, He's older than my Uncle and I'm not interested.

Anywhoo, but yeah... I'm dead tired. Just want to sleep, but I came home wanting to write... I actually planned something COMPLETELY different but this is what came out... it fits in with the story, kind of... had to tweak one little thing... I just wasn't planning it.

I read through all of your reviews and I'm just going to say a big thank you, because I do love you all for them and to sleephog in particular, I'm having more fun writing this story and seeing all of your reviews than my senior year so, yeah it's cool. In a generalised comment, I'm glad you all liked the ice cream scene and seriously, someone needs to start that 'Hate Josef Puckerman' club and JustAmazing can be chairman. Thanks for reassuring me about my OOC freak outs and thanks for the support on my babygate idea (Karma22 aka Dory...;) and Fantasy's Forever who's short and sweet review put me to ease when it popped up on my email account yesterday... it really did. I felt so much better when I started writing this chapter cause it was the first email/review I'd received before deciding to venture forth with Glee for the rest of the day) Ch3lsBishop: Watched Big Band Theory, tis my fave show after Glee. Loved that episode and love the 'Who's smarter: Leonard or Sheldon' scene with Penny as judge. TheLlamasWillTakeOverTheWorld: That add scares the hell out of me but at the same time that is like epically cool. I can barely lift my left eyebrow without my right. And I did the chasing thing with my grandparents and brother... It was fun. :D Nah, your name has character. Mine is just a nickname from birth. EscapeSomeday: On a personal level, I actually think inconspicuously is a sexy word. Say it with a husky tone, it sounds awesome. Ladybug Jess: LoL, okay, okay... can you wait 2 chapters though? To everyone else: You guys mostly said how it isn't too OOC and how you couldn't wait for another chapter and I love you all and thank you for that. You also asked if Puck was going to do anything too rash, but no. He's not. He's growing :)

Urm, the person named Taytay... are you my step-sister? Lol... weird question if you're not but if she didn't log in I'd get it... I'm just intrested...

So much for not replying to everything, but I did it in a broad sense... LoL

Review again.

This time I promise I'll reply properly to all of you.

:D

Bibz