I am so sorry.
I have been meaning to update but I went through some stuff (stupid boys who like to break your heart) finished writing my book (thank the lord, it MAY be published by this time next year... praying to God) and at the moment I'm in the middle of exams (this is something that absolutely SUCKS but is necessary if I wish to go to University... which I do)
I am terribly sorry and I am a terrible fanfiction writer... Those people who are sticking around, thank you SO much...
Song: Never Ever by All Saints... I love that song... I've been listening to it everyday lately... Stupid boys...
Mike and Rachel had arrived in Mike's car together but Mike was currently drinking his fourth beer and even though Rachel had attempted to cheer him up, he just wanted to be upset for the night and she respected that. But to get home, she had a problem.
Well, it wasn't much of a problem. Puck already decided that he'd take her home. And his realisation was made even better by the fact that Isla was currently curled up in Toby's spare bed because she muttered furiously in her sleep that she didn't want to move so, not to bother the other crazy brunette in his life, he let her go and Artie promised to call him in the morning when she woke up. Last he saw her, she was dressed in the new pyjama's Quinn had bought her and gripping the teddy bear Brittany got her. Everyone, (including a very shy Tobias Abrams) had bought Isla something and Puck knew that she was being spoiled but really, he couldn't care less. She was happy and smiling and that was great.
In truth though, she didn't need the charm bracelet that Rachel bought her, or the extra barbies which had been purchased by Santana and Tina. Or the kiss on the cheek from Toby that came with the pink love heart necklace. But he'd talk to them all later about it.
For now, he was driving Rachel home. She was tucked underneath his arm the entire drive home, drifting in and out of sleep. If she thought he would ignore the fact she looked dead tired, she was wrong. He was starting to wonder why the pivotal moments in his and Rachel's lives were always happening in his truck, but he would ponder that later.
He was also wondering why the fuck he was using words like pivotal and ponder. Just to make himself feel better, he decided to rephrase that shit, even if it was in his. Why the hell does all the big crap in our relationship happen in my baby? Fuck it, I'll think about that crap later.
Feeling a bit happier, he figured he would save this conversation for outside of his car cause Rachel was fast asleep against his side. He chuckled and arrived at Finn's house. He figured he'd text Rach's dads and tell them she was out cold. That way, he'd get to spend the morning with her too.
Her dad's loved him ever since Rachel told him what he did to Jacob Ben Israel for her, plus they knew he was sharing a bedroom with Finn, the other love of her fathers' lives. Along with Mike, Matt, Artie, Kurt, Tina, Mercedes, Quinn and Brittany. They hadn't met Santana yet, but Puck was sure they would love her too. Why? It seemed that (and the thought made Puck feel sick) that they were the first friends Rachel had ever had. And it was his fault entirely, but that was a small detail that Rachel had never told her fathers. Apart from wanting to shave his mohawk off, he was a freaking saint in their eyes.
He pulled in front of the house and carried Rachel out of the car, opening the door with ease. He'd had plenty of practice from trying to carrying Isla to bed when she'd fallen asleep on the couch at home. Just thinking about the good old days when he had his own home, made Puck feel sad but he didn't want to show it. Instead, he grunted, pushed open the door and tried to be quiet because he knew Finn's mum had a fifteen hour shift the next day.
He carried her upstairs and gently rested her on his own bed and took off her shoes. Puck kind of liked it how she curled right up into his pillow. He liked to think it's because she could smell him on the pillow. Gently, he removed her grip from her handbag (who knew girls had such a death grip) and considered taking her jeans off so she could be more comfortable but thought better of it. Instead, she gently lifted her up and took her shirt off (he's already seen all of that) and put his shirt on her. Additionally he took her bra off while she was wearing the shirt (I took him ten minutes to decide to do this and one minute to accomplish the deed. He was an expert after all) cause all chicks complained about wearing their bras to bed and if she was wearing the jeans, at least she didn't have to deal with the bra.
Rachel must've been really tired because she didn't wake up for any of this. He considered checking her pulse, but he could see her breathing, so didn't. Puck got her phone and started writing a text message to her dad's.
[*RB*]: Hey sirs this is Puck (Noah) texting off Rach's phone. She fell asleep at Artie's and we cant wake her up she's so tired. So is it cool if we just leave her? Ill have her back by tomorrow morn in 1 piece. Puck
Rachel had one of those phones that had 'most recent' and 'call registry' list. He smirked at the convenience, because Rachel had told him half-way through the night she was going to call her dad and left his lap briefly to do so.
He looked at the 'call registry' and frowned. It only showed the last ten numbers and none of them were her fathers. The last call she had made was to him that morning when she called to ask him where he was. The one before that was to Finn, probably asking them same thing. Then two calls to Mike and previously Matt, Tina, Artie, him again, once to Finn's house and the time before that to his mobile and the tenth was to someone named Linda who he thinks was her ballet teacher.
He decided to let it slide and checked out her 'most recent' list thinking that maybe she decided to just text him.
[Markus]
[Markus]
[OthaAzn]
[Markus]
[Puck20]
[Markus]
[T-T-Tina]
[Wheels]
[Markus]
[Markus]
Puck felt his anger slowly boil. If this was the Markus who he thought... Oh fuck he was pissed. Before he forgot, he sent the message to her dads, going through the phonebook. He kept shooting dark looks at the sleeping Rachel, trying to figure out why she never told him.
Cause you'd react like this you loser.
Puck ignored that voice that sounded like Finn, and then wondered why his conscience never sounded like himself, and continued. He exited 'create message' and went straight to inbox and read the messages between them.
[Markus]: Im jst thinking bout u n wat ur dressed in and even if ur a freak, ur a hot one sxc...
[Markus]: Oh come on sxc, don't ignore me... tell me u dont thnk bout those pretty lil legs wrapped around me w me inside u... tell me u don't think about it babbeee... spesh since u dumped Mattie for me.
[*RB*]: You have quite an imagination, Markus. I don't feel any sort of attraction to you and could you please stop?
[Markus]: Babee, U love it... U wish u could feel this up.
[*RB*]: I wish nothing of the sort.
[Markus]: Dw hun, soon... very soon wen I catch u alone again...
[*RB*]: I hope you never catch me alone again. Not in a million years.
[Markus]: I keep forgettin.. ur a showgirl. U want 2 be up on stage w ppl around. Is that how u dream bout it? up on a stage, just u n me w hundreds of ppl watchin? I 4get ur kinky sumtimes... those knees socks..
[*RB*]: For someone who hates me, u sure do fantasise about me a lot. And no, I still do not dream about you Markus.
[Markus]: I dont even like u sxc... Wantin to fuck u is *very* different from wantin 2 love u... didnt Mattie ever teach u?
[Markus]: Reply.
[Markus]: Reply now.
[Markus]: I swear, I'll get everythin else off of Jacob BI's computer n post it
[*RB*]: Stop it Markus. Matt and I never did anything of the sort.
They went on. That was just a small amount of them.
One conversation.
One conversation of many.
Too many.
Puck was seeing every colour in the spectrum, painted over with furious red. He was more than pissed, he was... he knew that not even Rachel could find a sufficient word to describe the level of anger he was feeling. If sexting was the text equivalent to sex, this was the text equivalent to rape. At least in his eyes.
Puck had every thought to get out of there and go run Markus down and he turned to do so until he heard Rachel whimper. He wasn't sure if he heard her correctly and found himself pausing. Pausing for her because she was still the anchor he had from going completely crazy and it scared him that the more the days went by, the more she could anchor him without holding his hand.
He looked down at Rachel who was frowning in her sleep. Her face became shocked and then she shivered.
Puck wanted to know if these messages were what was causing all of this but then she whimpered, "Noah." and good lord, he was brought to his knees by her side.
Why did she say his name like that? Like he needed her or like she was scared of him. He prayed for the former but he was still mad at her.
Mad that she didn't say anything.
Mad that it was his fault she didn't.
Because she doesn't want him to get into trouble.
He wants to protect her.
You can't be my anchor forever...
This is why Noah Puckerman stayed.
Puck shifted her over and slid into the bed next to her, wrapping his arms around waist and nuzzling his face into her hair.
Rachel woke up early the next morning and melted back into Puck's arms as soon as she realised she was in them. She loved him as a friend and knew she was close to loving him as something more. She sometimes thought she did, but being Rachel Berry, she wanted to be sure.
She looked across to see Finn sleeping soundly on his own bed and thought about how this could be very weird if she made it be. She knew it wouldn't be weird for the boys and Finn found nothing weird unless you explained it to him so she decided to giggle and keep her thoughts to herself.
Then she looked at the time on her phone which was on the end of Finn's bed which was only an outstretched arms breadth away. She reached out to grab her phone when Puck's arm reached over her and grabbed her wrist. Rachel looked over her shoulder and saw Puck's face looking at her very seriously. "You and me need to talk."
Rachel looked at him curiously. "Let me call my dads."
"I've texted them last night." he said, significantly accenting the 'texted'.
Rachel's face fell and her eyes darted to her mobile then back at Puck. He wrapped his arm around her waist and rubbed her hip. "Outside." he said and sat up and then lifted Rachel up too. The two of them left Finn's bedroom and Puck held her hand and led her down the hall. He took her downstairs to the living room and didn't have to do anything.
He just stared at her and Rachel caved guiltily. "Listen, I didn't want to worry you and..."
"I figured." Puck said simply, holding Rachel's hand and swinging it between them. He looked at the ground and then said, "Look, I don't want you to not tell me stuff cause you're afraid of how I'll act. I'm your boyfriend Rach and I know that we're not telling anyone but you can't not tell me about that kind of shit and think it's alright."
Rachel shook her head, "I didn't think it was alright, I just didn't want you to react."
"Which is why I'm even more pissed off." Puck said, a little stressed. "But maybe I should be pissed at myself for that."
She reached out and hugged Puck, burying her head against his chest. "Don't be. Please?"
Puck grinned sheepishly, "I won't be if you let me bash his head in."
Rachel smacked him in the shoulder. "No."
"What am I supposed to do then?" Puck groaned. "Let him get away with it?"
"Well more or less." she said pathetically.
Puck shook his head angrily, "No way."
"Noah..."
"Rachel, no."
"Noah, please don't. This is why I didn't tell you."
For a moment or two, Puck didn't say anything. Instead, he pushed past Rachel and walked off, back upstairs. "Noah." She groaned. She moved to go after him but then couldn't bring herself to go. "Noah!"
Mike sat in the mall alone, staring at his hot coco. It was warm and had feeling and life, something which I sadly don't possess any longer he thought grimly.
He didn't want to be depressed. Really, he didn't. But did he have much of a choice? No. His girlfriend, who he was supposed to go to prom with, told him she was a lesbian by showing it to him. Mike was more angry at Santana because she knew Mike and Brittany were going out (or so Mike thought) and knew Brittany wouldn't understand any different so why she didn't mention to Brittany that it was wrong was beyond Mike's comprehension.
He stirred his coco absently and was surprised when he found someone sitting across from him. He looked up curiously at the brunette girl who seemed to be stirring her own hot coco as absently as he was.
"Hi." he said, confused. "Is there a reason you're sitting there?"
The girl's entire face turned bright red and her eyes darted to a bunch of giggling girls to her left. She then looked back at Mike. "Ugh, my girlfriends kind of dared me to come over here and ask you out."
Mike's shoulders slumped over as the pretty brunette spoke. "Great. Just go back to them laughing because I'm not anyone's pity date."
The girl blushed again, "No... it's not because they think you're a pity date... I go to school with you. I'm Annabelle Evan. I have geometry with you. I... I've had the biggest crush on you since tenth grade and..." she looked heavenward. "And I heard you broke up with your girlfriend..."
"She cheated on me." he clarified. "With another woman."
Annabelle stopped speaking and made a small 'o' shape with her mouth. "Yeah... I heard but I didn't believe it..."
"Believe it." Mike said. "I didn't even get to have sex with her. Not that I wanted to... well, I did want to but it wasn't the only thing on my mind, you know? Well, it was but I wasn't using her for sex, I just wanted it... I mean, it would've been a bonus should I have had sex. I really liked her." he stumbled over his words then stared back into his coco reflectively. "Brittany liked coco."
Annabelle looked to the ground shyly. "I... I like coco too." Mike looked at Annabelle who was still staring at the ground. She looked up at him with big green eyes and her hair tied back in a ponytail. "Do you want to go out for dinner tomorrow night?"
"It's a Friday night." he said, more out of thought than answer. "I don't have much else planned, except play some x-box. Yeah, I guess I could go out with you."
Annabelle smiled. "Great. Give me your number and you can pick me up from my house at seven. Is that okay?"
"Okay." Mike said reasonably. He leaned over and watched her pull a pen from her handbag and scribble her number across a napkin before handing it to him. He looked at it and nodded appreciatively. "Thank you."
But really, he didn't care.
At five o'clock in the afternoon, Rachel sat in her bedroom, trying to finish the homework she received for the winter. She was working through all the steps on her maths homework but really, all she could think about was the fact that Puck hadn't spoken to her all morning and just dropped her off at home with only a kiss on the cheek.
She didn't understand totally why he was angry with her. For a brief moment he looked like he was forgiving her.
Rachel decided to make a video. She flicked through her repertoire, trying to figure out the perfect song to sing. But there weren't too many to describe what she felt then. Confused mainly. And with a lot of questions.
It suddenly dawned on her something she could sing.
She walked over to her camera and flicked it on. "This video is for someone and, I'd just like to say quickly that it's because I'm really confused about what happened and I know my feelings but... but now I'm unsure about theirs."
Rachel frowned and found the CD to the backing track, loading it and pressing 'play'.
A few questions that I need to know
how you could ever hurt me so
I need to know what I've done wrong
and how long it's been going on
Was it that I never paid enough attention?
Or did I not give enough affection?
Not only will your answers keep me sane
but I'll know never to make the same mistake again
You can tell me to my face or even on the phone
You can write it in a letter, either way, I have to know
Did I never treat you right?
Did I always start the fight?
Either way, I'm going out of my mind
all the answers to my questions
I have to find
My head's spinning
Boy, I'm in a daze
I feel isolated
Don't wanna communicate
I'll take a shower, I will scour
I will rub
To find peace of mind
The happy mind I once owned, yeah
Flexing vocabulary runs right through me
The alphabet runs right from A to Zed
Conversations, hesitations in my mind
You got my conscience asking questions that I can't find
I'm not crazy
I'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong, no
I'm just waiting
'Cause I heard that this feeling
won't last that long
Never ever have I ever felt so low
When you gonna take me out of this black hole?
Never ever have I ever felt so sad
The way I'm feeling yeah, you got me feeling really bad
Never ever have I had to find
I've had to dig away to find my own peace of mind
I've Never ever had my conscience to fight
The way I'm feeling, yeah, I just don't feel right
Rachel smiled at the camera and reached forward, shutting it off. After a quick edit, getting rid of all the pauses between shutting off the camera and finishing the song and loading the CD, she was about to upload when she heard the doorbell ring. Rachel paused and walked over to the window of her bedroom to see who it was. They'd already been let inside by the time she got there and then she heard her father calling her name.
"Rachel, come down. Noah's here." Her dad called out.
"With binoculars." shouted out her daddy. "And Matthew and Marcia."
Rachel frowned and quickly fixed herself up in front of the mirror before wrapping her cardigan around herself and running downstairs. Puck was grinning at her as he held binoculars and flowers in front of him proudly. "These are sorry for acting like a jerk." he said, handing her flowers. "You were right, I was wrong, let's not get into the details right now because these..." he wrapped the binoculars around her neck. "Are our tools to spy on Mike and Annabelle."
Rachel was much more than confused now. "Noah... what?"
Matt grinned, bouncing around as he held Marcia's hand. "Mike got a date today. He's picking her up in one hour and we have to make sure he doesn't screw things up.
Rachel looked at Puck. "Can we talk for a minute?"
Puck's face fell and he looked around the room at her fathers and their friends. "Okay." Rachel looked at the all apologetically before heading upstairs, Puck following. She heard her dad's offering Matt and Marcia a seat but she was in her room with Puck, closing the door before she heard the reply.
"I'm sorry about this morning." he said quickly. "Really sorry. I was just pissed."
"At me?" she asked quietly.
Puck shrugged. "Half at you, half at me, mostly at Markus. I want to bash the douche."
"You can't have two halves and a mostly." Rachel corrected him.
"I don't attend maths class, remember?"
"Maybe you should." she said stiffly.
Puck groaned, "Look, let me explain it to you this way. When guys like girls, we're compelled to want to protect them. It's like a natural instinct, unless you're an idiot." He rolled his eyes and then went on. "It's the way we show we love you and it's way dudes project their badassness." Rachel chuckled, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "I'm majorly pissed at Markus. I want to kill him. Like, cold blooded murder. I started fantasising about all the law and order I watch, trying to figure out how to get away with the perfect crime. I'm think Dexter is the way to go. Clean, sharp, maybe even taking a sample of his blood as a trophy."
Rachel slapped him across the arm. "Noah."
His face broke out into a grin. "Kidding, kidding. Kind of. But anyway, I'm angry at you because you didn't give me an option to protect you. You just hid it from me. But I'm angry at myself because you shouldn't have had to tell me. I should've known cause you kept acting strange. Always tired and stressed and shit. Then again... you're a little crazy."
"Am not." Rachel snapped.
Puck reached forward and hugged her. "Of course you're not. There, there."
Rachel snuggled into his arms. "You know you used the word 'compelled', right?"
"There you go, ruining the moment." he muttered. After holding on for another moment, he let go of her. "Are we good?"
"Depends? Are you still mad?" she looked up at him seriously.
Puck shook his head. "Just at Markus, which I have full right to be."
"You're sounding more and more intelligent every day."
"Shut up Berry."
"Why are we squatting behind bushes?" Marcia whispered to Rachel.
Rachel shrugged. "The boys seem to think it's the best way to spy on this date."
Marcia frowned. "They're at McDonalds and we are hiding in the bushes of McDonalds. I thought I was going out on a date with Matt. This is not very romantic. Especially seeing as it's freezing."
"Shush!" both boys whispered. Then Matt, from Marcia's right said, "If I told your brother I was taking you out on a date, I'd be dead."
"Oh." she said. "So you told him we were going on a stake out."
"And that Annabelle's your friend." He shrugged off his jacket and draped them across her shoulders. "I thought we'd be inside."
"Great." she muttered then pulled up her binoculars to see what was happening.
Mike and Annabelle were just talking over French fries, sitting side by side instead of across from each other. Mike yawned a bit and Puck reached over the two girls to smack Matt blindly, while he was concentrating on Mike. "He's gonna lay the moves on her!"
Matt grinned, also concentrating on Mike, and reached back to high-five Noah. "Atta boy Mike." He finished his yawn and shook his head, not moving an inch.
Rachel looked up at Noah, "What are the moves, Noah?"
Puck sighed disappointedly at Mike's lack of enthusiasm to the date then looked at his girlfriend to explain. "The moves. You know..." Puck made a large yawn and wrapped his arm around Rachel's shoulder, pulling her in close. "The moves."
Rachel frowned at Puck as if he was doing something completely stupid for fun. Something like sticking a fork into an electrical socket, just to see what would happen. "Those aren't very adept moves, Noah."
"It worked on you, didn't it?"
"It never did."
Marcia looked at Matt, "How'd those two end up together?"
"I don't know, but it obviously had nothing to do with the moves." Matt shrugged.
Before Puck could object, Rachel's phone started ringing. Having left it on loud, all four of them jumped back and caused the bushes to rustle. Mike and Annabelle both looked up at the bushes to see what it was and Mike frowned. He told Annabelle to wait a moment and stood up to go investigate.
Meanwhile, Puck, Matt and Marcia were all panicking while Rachel tried fishing her phone out of her pocket, the ring tone of 'Don't stop believing' blaring through the McDonalds patio. "Shut it up!" Puck whispered angrily.
"It's stuck in my jeans." she squeaked.
"Why didn't you put it on silent?" Matt asked.
"She probably left it on by accident." Puck, Matt and Marcia all looked up to see Mike towering over them.
Rachel gave an apologetic grin at him before pulling her phone out and answering it. "Finn now is not a good time."
"Finn?" Puck whispered furiously. "I'm so gonna kill him."
"What?" Rachel frowned. "What? Finn calm down. Puck's right here. His phone is most likely on silent. He... okay, here he is." Rachel past the phone onto Puck who frowned at her, answering it.
"Dude, what's... What? Stop screaming, okay? Alright, I'm on my way. Relax, okay. Stay calm and get her to the hospital. I'll meet you there." Puck shut the phone and jumped up. "We need to go now. Quinn's bleeding and Finn's freaking out and..." he shook his head. "We need to go. Now."
Matt nodded and lifted Marcia up. Mike leapt over the bushes, following them and forgetting all about Annabelle for a moment. Then he turned around and saw her looking at him confused. "There's been an emergency. I've got to go."
Annabelle stood up and ran over to him. "I'll come with you."
Mike looked at his friends, already piling into their cars. "Okay. Come on."
Puck drove like a maniac to get to the hospital, pushing through red lights speeding like crazy. Rachel gripped the seats beside him, trying not to project her fear onto him. She stared at his stiff and fearful face and figured he was already scared enough.
Before she could blink, they were at the hospital, pulling into the emergency with the ambulance that carried Quinn and Finn. "Don't tell my parents." she was begging. "Don't tell my parents."
The doctors were all trying to calm her down, explaining to her that they wouldn't tell her parents. That she needed to calm down. Puck jumped out of the car, leaving the engine running and followed Finn and Quinn inside.
Rachel reached over and grabbed the keys as Puck chased after the two and pushed through the doors. She locked the car, more than confused and let Puck go.
But why was he freaking out more than Finn?
No review replies, because there are hundreds and I'm writing the next chapter already (though I should be studying...)
SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I unfortunately gained a life...
Okay, I have two more exams this week (Mathamatics and Drama) and am gigging every night until Thursday (which I have one week gig free) then have TWO weeks holidays and I SHALL have this story finished before Glee 2nd half of season 1 (Oh my Lord I can not wait). I PROMISE...
And for all those hanging out on babygate... THIS IS THE PLOT FOR BABY GATE!
LoL