Guess whose baaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaack?

...No.

Seriously.

Guess.

...

...

Okay. Firstly. You all ask:

Where have you been? Are you dead? If we remove your carcass from the bear that ate you, will you update?

Well.

All my accounts were hacked because my email was hacked.

I couldn't log onto anything! It killed me!

But then turned out to be a great thing because I couldn't use Facebook and ended up actually learning something in school instead of posting on various friends walls for fun.

And then my Senior exams started. (HSC to all my fellow Aussies)

I went overseas.

I got into university.

I left university. (because I realised that while Psych rocked my world, Music was my world)

I have a new piercings. (Needle phobia is still there... I fainted at my piercing and they woke me up with smelling salts...)

I am back at university.

I hooked up. Broke up... Basically, by the time I realised I had my accounts back life had caught up with me so much that I kind of... just forgot really. BUT I'M FINISHING THIS! Watch and learn, people... (determined expression, worn)

In a massive Review Reply: UPDATED!

P.S. I know Rachel is a vegan but I made her eat ice cream before I knew that... so Ha!

Warning: Sex talk... A lot of sex talk... But it's still rated T because honest, teenagers know about this stuff... Hell, I had a five year old tell me what porn was... that's a horrible memory.

Disclaimer: Do you think Puck would've stopped hooking up with Rachel if I owned Glee?

Rachel had fallen asleep on Matt's shoulder around about one in the morning. She messaged her fathers and said she'd be home late due to the fact she was at hospital. Because of the exact wording she'd used, her fathers had panicked and then she had to reassure them it was her friend at hospital and that she was waiting around for Noah as well. She didn't want to explain to her dad that he was more demanding that Finn. She didn't want to explain that Noah was making her jealous of Quinn.

Because Rachel hated that she was always jealous of Quinn.

The hospital was quiet around this time, not much happening with most of the patients asleep and most of the doctors only on call. She only woke up when she felt Matt move underneath her and her head was gently lifted then placed onto someone else's shoulder. "I'll go grab some coffees or something."

She roused herself just enough to see Puck sitting beside her and wrapping an arm around her, pulling her closer towards him. "What happened?" she whispered quietly.

Puck just held her close and didn't say anything. He tilted his head down and rested it against hers. "Noah? How's Quinn?"

"Asleep." he said. "She's fine."

"And the baby?"

He paused, biting his lip. "She's fine too. It was bad there for a while but she'll be okay."

"What happened?"

Puck kissed her forehead and closed his eyes, relaxing further against him. "Quinn slipped down the stairs at Finn's house and landed on her front. There was blood and he freaked... well we all freaked."

"About that..." Rachel pulled back and Puck's cheek and shoulder felt suddenly cold. The whole, morning by this stage, had been dreadful and he didn't want Rachel to pull away. "You were really scared. Are you okay?"

He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out.

No, I'm not okay but I'm supposed to be. Because the girl is my best friends daughter, not mine. Even though she really is I told Quinn that I'd stay out of it.

"Noah?"

"Um..." he looked towards the ceiling for a moment then back at Rachel with a foolish grin. "Finn asked me to be Drizzle's godfather and since then I kind of grew attached to the little thing. Plus half the room is decorated in those black and white photo things..."

"Oh." she said quietly, obviously not believing him. She shook her leg and asked again. "So, are you okay?"

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Yeah, I'm okay. Like I just freaked."

Rachel's leg was still shaking anxiously and Puck knew what her next few questions would be along the lines of.

"Noah, did... are you and..." she let a long breath out. "Has anything every happened between yourself and Quinn?"

Again, Puck wasn't sure what to say. He wondered if he should outright lie or if he should just tell her the truth. Or maybe he could tell her the truth and not bother with the 'it's my baby' thing. "Noah, your silence isn't very assuring." Tears started clouding her vision and Puck could see the glistening in her eyes.

"Babe, I'm trying to figure out why you're asking such a stupid question." he felt his throat closing up as he lied straight to her. "Cause nothing's ever happened between Quinn and I."

Rachel frowned at him, tears starting to slip down her face. "I have one big request from you, Noah and that is to not lie to me. The first time we went out, I broke up with you because I was sure you had feelings for Quinn and even if that is all that happened between you was your own feelings for her, I am asking you to please tell me the truth about it now. And if you still feel for her, at least warn me about it so I can have enough warning if you ever leave me because of it."

There were now tears streaming down her face and Puck was overwhelmed as he tried to figure out how to stop it. He's never had a girl catch him out like this before and he wasn't sure of how to react. "Rach, babe, okay... I don't like anyone but you, okay. And yeah," he hoped he wasn't making the wrong move. "I used to have the hots for Quinn but now I only have the hots for you, I swear. There isn't anything going on between Quinn and me but I'm living with Finn and I've kind of grown attached to the kid. I mean, who wouldn't when Finn doesn't talk about anything else. Even when we're playing COD3, he still talks about the kid. I care about Quinn and the kid, sure but I don't like her like that, I can swear on my sisters life on that one." And he could. He had no romantic feelings whatsoever towards Quinn.

Rachel at least stopped crying, studying him carefully to see if he was lying. He wasn't really. He just wasn't telling the entire truth. He prayed that he pulled off this stunt and that she thought he was telling the absolute truth. And when she nodded and moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist, his whole body relaxed and he realised he got away with it and that this issue could never come up again or he would lose the greatest thing he had in his life at the moment.

Her.

He swallowed and looking over her shoulder as he waited for her to catch him out. But instead, all he saw was a look of disappointment on Matt's face who stood in the hallway behind Rachel, holding a tray of coffees. And at that point he knew that Matt knew the real truth about the paternity and that meant Mike did too. Probably the entirety of the Glee club knew he was the real dad.

Matt dumped the coffees onto a nearby seat and walked off, shaking his head angrily. All Puck could do was hope Rachel didn't notice.

Matt ran up the fire escape stairs all the way to the roof, where he knew Brittany, Santana and Mike were. He didn't know that Annabelle was there too, making everything more awkward than it should've been. He caught himself stumbling and then looked around, calming his features. "Uh, hey."

"Hey Matt." Annabelle gave a small wave to him and everyone else stayed silent.

Santana sent a silent death glare at Annabelle before turning and leaning on the balcony while Brittany looked sad. "Hi Matt." Brittany tried smiling but couldn't as she looked over at Mike who was studying the lines of his palms.

"Um... Quinn's okay." he said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. What he really wanted to say, he couldn't because Annabelle was there but he tried to convey it anyway. "The baby's fine and stable. Still in her stomach and stuff."

"How's Puck?" Santana asked and then shot Annabelle a look. "Still after Finn?"

Matt swallowed and looked at Annabelle again then at Mike who was now catching on something was off. "Nah, he's with Rach now. Finn's just with Quinn at the moment. She's asleep and stuff. So's Rach if I'm right."

Mike looked at Annabelle, biting his lip. "Hey, why don't I drive you home?"

"I drove you here, remember?" she giggled. "Your cars still at McDonalds."

"Oh yeah." Mike bit his lip then winced. "Well, maybe you should go. We might have some things we still need to sort out and..."

Annabelle nodded understandingly. "Yeah, I guess. It's late anyway. My dad's going to be pissed."

"Sorry about our..." his eyes flicked over to Brittany who looked really upset. "Date?"

"It's okay." she got up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "You'll just have to make it up to me next time."

"Maybe Quinn can make it up to you next time." Santana said and Mike shot her a death stare.

Annabelle just nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I guess she owes me."

"You should probably tell her." Brittany said. "Cause she doesn't know."

Everyone had a moment of awkward silence and Annabelle just nodded. "I'll do that." She then said a quick goodbye and Matt thanked every god in existence that she was gone because now he could get to what was really bothering him.

"He didn't tell her. Rachel pretty much asked him word for word, are you the father and he lied!" Matt snapped.

Santana rolled her eyes and leaned back on the ledge. "What did you expect? A full fledged confession? He's Puck, I think everyone keeps forgetting that. Smash 'em and Bash 'em Puckerone who always looks out for numero uno and that is all."

"No, that's not right." Mike shrugged his jacket closer around him. "He's certainly got some more redeeming qualities about him now. I mean, he's not as douche-like as he used to be."

"But he won't tell Rach that he's gonna have a kid?" Santana raised her eyebrows at all of them. "Face it, Puck's still Puck, there is no changing that."

Matt sighed, "You know that rule we made up? That the only ones who can hurt the Gleeks now are us? Well, I think we should change it again to that no one can hurt them. Not even us."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Get over it Matt. You know there's still a big chance this baby stuff will come out."

"Everything comes out eventually." Mike side glanced Brittany who looked confused.

"Yeah, well this might not. Quinn's going to pop, adopt out the kid and maybe, just maybe that's the last of it we'll ever hear." Santana stalked passed Matt. "So don't go screwing it up by telling Rachel the details."

Finn knocked on the door to the hospital room and pushed it open. Quinn was sitting there in her bed looking small and scared. She had her arms wrapped around her chest and was crying into her tiny hands. "Are you alright?"

Quinn shook her head, more tears pouring down her face. "Is it something about Drizzle?" She shook her head and wrapped her arms protectively around her stomach. Finn walked into the room, still unsure of what this was all about. "What's up?"

"They... the doctors..." she sobbed more. Finn awkwardly rested his hands in his jeans as he listened. "Told my... told my mum and dad... and now..."

Finn moved across and withdrew his hands from his pocket to hug her. "Hey, don't cry Quinn. Please don't cry. I mean, it'll be okay. They'll calm down and you'll..."

"Daddy kicked me out." she cried, burying herself further into Finn's side.

On a lazy Sunday morning, Puck opened the door into Finn's house with Quinn walking in behind him with her duffle bag that he'd stolen out of her window. Finn was behind her with another suitcase, again courtesy of Puck.

"We're home!" Finn called out from behind.

Carol walked in with a large smile on her face. All three teenagers could see it was a very fake smile. "Welcome. Are you all hungry?"

She did it because she felt she needed to.

Not because she wanted to.

Who wants a teenage pregnancy for their son?

Puck's gut churned with a guilty feeling. He thought to his house, wondering if his mother would let Quinn in if she knew. You had sex with a Christian? He couldn't help but feel his mother would be a bit hypocritical if she was condescending of him for his mating choices.

My mating choices? Condescending? Jesus Rach is getting to me...

He rolled his eyes and averted his eyes from Carol's face. "I'm good. Isla upstairs?"

"She's at her friend's house." Carol said. "I um... thought it would be better while we fix the living arrangements."

Nodding, Puck offered to take the suitcases upstairs for Quinn so she could talk with Finn and his mother. Again, it felt wrong that he wasn't a part of that conversation but he was slowly getting used to relaxing up on his non-existent responsibilities.

He took everything upstairs and then paused at the top of the stairs before he went down.

"Well, I guess we all know what you two did." he heard Carol's voice wind up the stairs.

Gut's churning too much. Maybe I should just go see a doctor.

"So we only have the one spare room and Isla is in it at the moment and Puck's in Finn's room. So if you do not mind sharing with a six year old it could all be good." He heard Carol clap her hands and the shaky laughter of Quinn. Nervous about being in the same room as your biological niece?... Of sorts? He contorted his face and then felt like punching himself. Rachel...

Instead of getting worked up about things, he called up Rachel and walked over to Finn's room and fell back on the bed. She picked up the phone saying, "Hello?" in a half sleepy voice.

"Did I wake you?" he asked.

There was a small yawn and he pictured her mouth moving and felt himself get a little excited over that prospect. "Mmmhmm. I fell asleep after showering. I was on my elliptical."

"Keeping tone for your man?"

"Keep believing, Noah."

"Oh I shall." he smirked to himself and then there was a comfortable pause in the conversation where he listened to her breath.

Then she yawned and said, "Did Quinn arrive yet?"

"Yeah. She's here." he said tightly. "I'm starting to feel like a burden."

"You and Isla are more than welcome to stay with me for the weekend. My fathers are away again."

"Do they always leave you alone?"

"I don't mind. My uncle is always around, in case."

Puck nodded and knew she couldn't see him but her silence kind of confirmed she knew what he was doing. "Should I let you sleep?"

"No. Stay on the phone a little longer. I haven't seen you very much since Quinn got into the hospital last week."

"Want me to come over?"

There was a longer silence and then the small sound of her lips parting. Again, he got quite excited at that prospect. "Yes. No. I want to sleep but I want you here."

"How about I stay on the phone until you sleep, let myself in through the window and hang up for your sleeping self when I get there?"

"I like that idea." She giggled quietly. "I'll unlock my window."

He chuckled and pulled on a sweater while still on the phone with her, before jogging down the stairs. Briefly he looked Finn, Quinn and Carol and waved them 'goodbye'. They nodded, probably thankful for the time alone and he got into his truck and left.

"You still there?"

"Mmmhm."

He chuckled. "Not really, then."

"Half." There was some mumbling then she said. "The window is wide open, Noah."

"Just the way I like it then." He stepped on the gas a little more though because he really didn't like the thought of Rachel's window being open when he knew there was a tree outside of it that was easy to climb through. He hummed whatever song was on the radio to her and she sighed with contentment.

Puck reached her house and parked in the driveway, considering no one else would be there. He went around to the front and climbed the window then lifted himself through the window. Rachel was fast asleep, her wet hair rolled out around her and in a tracksuit and top.

Puck closed the window behind him then walked over to Rachel and shut off her phone. He relaxed into the bed beside her and fell asleep too, tired from all his thinking and gut churning. When he did wake up again, it was early evening and Rachel was nowhere to be seen.

He frowned, getting up out of bed and looking around. Then he heard the doorbell ring and his frown got deeper. Who the hell is that?

He pushed himself out of bed and went into the hallway then down the stairs, his lips crinkled into a pout as he tried to figure out what was going on. When he saw the front door though, he smiled with understanding. Rachel was paying a pizza guy, wearing nothing but her shorts and one of his jumpers he'd given her over Christmas. He walked over to her and hugged her from behind, causing her to jump and the pizza guy to grin. "Noah. I was just paying the man."

"S'cool. Here, I'll take them and set up." He grabbed the two boxes off the guy then headed into the living room where plates and cups had already been set up.

Rachel closed the door and walked around the table to Puck. "I was about to come and wake you up. I got myself a vegan pizza but you something with... well basically it's a heart attack but I assumed you'd like it."

When Puck opened up his own pizza box he just grinned at Rachel. She had gotten him a pure meat pizza with extra cheese and the mozzarella crust. "You, babe are amazing."

Rachel opened her dainty vegetarian pizza and shrugged. "You're welcome." But she wore a small smile, happy with being approved. They chatted as they ate and talked about everything but nothing that mattered. They both knew the topics they were avoiding. Quinn, his dad, the baby... but they kept on avoiding them like they didn't exist. Even when Puck mentioned he wanted to see the movie 'Inception' and Rachel pointed out that Ellen Page was in it, the awkward moment where they both realised she was the star of 'Juno' only last a second before they continued on.

For a while they watched TV after they finished then once they'd packed up, Rachel offered they went up to her bedroom to listen to music. Puck liked hanging out with Rachel because with her he could forget. He could forget that he had to be an awesome big brother and the father to some child who was yet to be born. He forgot about his own father and the fact his mother had chosen the bastard over him.

They started making out half way into some Britney Spears song which he didn't think was one of her best but it was on Rachel's iPod which meant it had some sort of significance to her which further went on to mean if he started dissing it he'd cop a lecture. No, it was far better for him to use his lips for more productive things... Or use her lips as the case may be.

For a while things got as heavy as they always had gotten. With her on top of him, her hands travelling up and down his biceps. Once or twice he got to move his hand up far enough to graze her boob but he didn't think it was going to get any further than that. But almost a minute after he'd touched her boob the fourth time that night, Rachel started sliding his shirt up his stomach, towards his shoulders. He didn't say anything and let her take his shirt off, only frowning briefly when they were forced to pull their lips apart to get it over his head.

He didn't feel any hesitation being shirtless. Honestly, he preferred being shirtless and thought maybe it was just another step in their relationship but suddenly Rachel got a lot friskier and started pulling up her own jumper, or to be specific... his jumper. Puck pulled away this time to stop them. "Rach are you...?"

She took off his jumper and threw it into a corner of the room. Puck started feeling himself straining around his jeans and tried to think of something else apart from the hot girl grinding on top of him.

"Babe, not that this isn't fun..." Puck mumbled through her kisses but instead of replying or just plain stopping, Rachel went for his belt. Puck was hesitant for a second but then assisted her in undoing his jeans. Soon they were on the floor and he had gone commando that day. Never minding his own naked body he let Rachel absorb it for a second before he shifted her over so he was on top*. She started fumbling with her own shorts, undoing the draw strings and Puck pulled away. "Are you sure?" he asked.

Rachel was nervous as hell. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest and honestly wasn't sure if she really did want to continue her relationship with Puck physically but then she saw how ready he was and nodded. "Yes." she pushed her shorts down and was about to take her socks off when Puck stopped her.

"No. Wait." he slid down the bed and looked at her legs and her knee high socks. "Man, I have no idea why these things turn me on." He shook his head and pinched Rachel's sock between two of her toes and started tugging it down. It slid down her smooth leg and he just shivered then proceeded to kiss her up her calf then her thigh and then up her stomach until he reached her chin. Then he kissed her and lifted her flexible leg up which still had a sock on it until he could kiss her and see himself taking her sock off at the same time. Puck almost finished up then and then but controlled himself. "You are the reason I now have a sock fetish." he spoke into her lips and all Rachel could do was smile.

Puck's hands made their way down her body and to the hem of her underwear with no hesitation but as soon as he hooked his finger around the leg, Rachel squealed and backed away. Puck frowned, a little confused but Rachel pushed him off altogether and ran into her bathroom leaving Puck lying on the bed naked.

He frowned, trying to figure out where it had gone wrong but then sighed as he realised that it had nothing to do with him. Rachel just hadn't been ready. He grabbed his jeans off the floor and tugged them on, careful not to break anything as he pulled his zipper up. After tugging his shirt on, he picked up Rachel's clothes and carefully walked over to the door.

He put his head against it for a second and listened to her cry in the bathroom. "Rach? Do you want your clothes?"

There was a loud sob and the door opened enough for him to pass her clothes through then slammed shut. He sighed and sat down with his legs against the wall next to the door and his back on the dresser. He blocked off the door with his body and waited. "You know, you don't have to cry. I'm not... angry." he frowned at himself. Sexually, he was frustrated but he wasn't about to let that make him angry. His boner was pressing so hard against his zipper he wished he hadn't gone commando that day. "And you don't have to be embarrassed or anything... actually, you don't have to be embarrassed about any of that." he smirked to himself a little bit but Rachel still wasn't replying. "It's cool to wait... I guess."

He rolled his eyes. He couldn't wait. He liked sex too much. Since he'd started dating Rachel he hadn't had sex which meant the spank bank had gotten an increase in funds but he counted that as half sex and even though he hadn't taken maths, he knew two halves made a whole so he'd just have to double his hand action for all the real action he was missing.

Puck wasn't an idiot. If he was the other man, he didn't care but he would never let himself have another woman. It was weird but unless the girl was a complete bitch, he was a pretty faithful guy.

When he realised his technique wasn't working he tried something else. "Want me to tell you the first time I had sex?" The sobbing stopped and he felt that was a good enough signal to keep going as any.

"You've got to remember that, I still wasn't sure what sex was back then. I just knew it was something all the cool kids did in high school. And I really wanted to be a cool kid in high school." He could remember it all clearly. "My mum was working a nightshift and got me and my sister a baby-sitter. Isla was five I think and the baby-sitter, Kara, put her to bed. Me? Well, Kara was... five years older than me? Not to sure but she was pretty hot. I repeatedly insisted I was too old to have a bedtime. Eventually, she gave in and let me stay up late with her. It started when I was eleven and she babysat me and Isla for another year. We had sat up late and talked, and talked and talked. She was pretty interesting once I stopped focusing on her boobs.

"Just before my thirteenth birthday, when my mum said it would be cool for me to take care of Isla by myself and mum told Kara that in two months, when I hit thirteen, she wouldn't be needed anymore. Kara actually got pretty upset about it cause she liked babysitting us. Me especially. Kara and me were staying up again watching a movie that had a really hot and heavy sex scene in it, I think the fifth-last time she babysat me. It was nothing I hadn't seen before but when I looked at Kara, I knew that something was going down. She was slightly flushed and her nipples were hard and her hair was mused and when I checked out further, her hand was in her pants.

"I had no freaking idea what to do, but then she looked at me and smiled. She asked me if I was still a virgin and I lied and said no. She called me a liar and I told her it was the honest truth. So she told me to prove it. I was pretty big by then and Kara was one of those girls way too small for her age anyway so we were around the same size. And we ended up doing it on my sofa.

"Afterwards, I had no idea what to say or do. I was just out of it. Kara left and when she came back, she wanted more. To be truthful, at first I didn't want to. But she brought certain types of movies around that kind of got me going and then would take advantage of me. The last night she babysat me, she actually brought one of her girlfriends around and... yeah well it was interesting." Puck sighed. "Do you know I've never told anyone that? Well, Finn knows I lost it to the babysitter but he doesn't know that I didn't want it and it was her idea."

The bathroom door opened and Rachel looked down at him. She was fully clothed and was frowning. He raised an eyebrow. "Why do you look worse?"

"You were... taken advantage of."

Puck scoffed. "No I wasn't. I wanted it. Just wasn't ready for it. Then by the time I realised, I just thought, there's no taking it back so I should just keep at it. Anyway, by the time I was fourteen I'd had sex with more girls than any guy in our year and I realised I really liked it." he nodded his head, grinning but that just made Rachel frown more. "Not that I want to have sex with you!" he said quickly, remembering how they got into this. Then he smacked his head when he realised what he said. "No, wait. I want to have sex with you but not until you want to have sex with me. I'm going to hell for many things, but rape will not be one of them." When he finally fixed his mistake he grinned and looked up at Rachel proudly. "Now are you going to smile for me, or am I going to have to keep talking at a rate that would make you feel... what's the word you like using? The one where one person is less than the other?"

"Inferior." she said, smiling.

Puck grinned back. "Yeah, that one."

Rachel sat down next to Puck on the tiles of the bathroom but leant into his chest. "Do you mean it? Will you wait for me to be comfortable?"

"Hells yeah. I don't say this girly crap often but... you deserve something special." Puck had to roll his eyes at himself and Rachel giggled. "Years from now when you've broken up with me because you realise how big of a loser I am, I at least want you to look back and thing, 'Well my first time with him wasn't a complete waste'."

She moved much closer to him. "You're not a loser Noah and I don't think I could live without you." Before Puck could say anything, Rachel continued. "Thank you for understanding.

*Doesn't he just seem like an 'on top' guy?

AN: So how was that after more than a years hiatus?

R&R

Also... a very special I am sorry to Karma22... No. I am not dead. I hope you can still love me... I miss you too!

P.S. I am at uni right now in the midst of guitars and pianos... a very creative habitat...