Author's Note: Thank you to all who have been reviewing, it means the world to me! It's what keeps me going :). Thanks to the many I have received, I did my best to put this chapter up extra fast. Let me know what you think!

Chapter 6

Damaged

That same night:

Tony stood in the hallway outside CTU medical. He had finally regained his composure, but was a mess inside. He looked calm, cool and collected…if only he felt that way.

After a few minutes of looking over the mission's preliminary reports, a young doctor with sandy-blonde hair walked up to Tony. He was still in his scrubs and was in the process of removing a pair of bloody gloves. Tony's stomach dropped. He thought he was going to throw up again.

"Mr. Almeida?" He firmly shook Tony's shaking hand. "I'm Glen Bradford, Michelle Dessler's surgeon. I hear you're her boss, correct?"

Tony nodded, unable to speak. She was dead. He knew it.

The doctor continued. "Under normal circumstances, I would not have the authority to update you on her condition, but unfortunately it has become apparent that Ms. Dessler does not have any direct relatives within the vicinity I can speak with. I just got off the phone with George Mason, who has given me permission to make you responsible for all decisions concerning her health until someone more appropriate is found and contacted. Is that okay with you?"

Tony was stunned. He had no idea how to respond.

"Wait…she's alive?"

Glen nodded. "Yes, by some miracle she is. We had to place her under a medically induced coma to reduce swelling in her brain, which is why we are looking for someone to act as her 'in loco parentis' until she is capable of making decisions herself. Mr. Mason said you were the best choice…"

"God damn you, George" he grumbled under his breath.

The doctor looked nervous to be putting his patient under Tony's authority. Tony sighed heavily and replied, "No, don't worry, I'll do it."

He nodded. "Good. I'll have a nurse update you on her condition within the next 20 minutes, until then I'm going to need you to come with me and fill out some legal forms. Also, are you aware of any friends or family Ms. Dessler has within the area that we can contact?"

Tony rubbed his palm into his eyes. This was all getting to be too much. "Umm, I know her mother is dead. Friends, I don't know anything about." He stopped to think. "Michelle has a little brother, I think he lives close by, too."

Glen brightened a little. "Great. We'll try to see if we can contact him." Before leading Tony to the nurse's station to fill out papers, the doctor put a reassuring hand on Tony's arm. "And thank you for stepping up to the plate and doing this. As of right now, Ms. Dessler has no one. You're our only hope."

Over the next half hour, Tony learned the extent of Michelle's injuries from various doctors, nurses, and surgeons. She had suffered a gunshot wound to her back near the upper-right shoulder that had shattered her bone. She would most likely be in a cast for the next 8 weeks and in serious pain while the joint healed. They had taken her in for surgery when she arrived to remove the bullet; luckily, the shot was clean and missed the major arteries, but they were unsure if she would regain full mobility of her arm.

The worst of her injuries, however, were the result of a heavy beating she had apparently endured. They had found bruises all over her body, a small stab wound above her right hip, and a large cut on the back of her head. They're conclusions based upon the crime scene were that she had been thrown against the wall and a loose nail stabbed her in the side, then as she fell down she slammed her head on the tile floor, suffering a double concussion. The injury had caused severe swelling and pressure in her brain, but the doctors were optimistic that it would reduce and she would not suffer any permanent brain damage.

From the beating, Michelle suffered slight internal bleeding but they managed to get it under control without having to perform surgery. However, Dr. Bradford was concerned that she may have sustained unknown damage to her uterus and feared she would not be able to carry a child to term in the future.

This was all way too much information for Tony to take in at once. He was pretty sure he was shaking, although not positive. Why couldn't he protect her? Why hadn't he saved her? Why did he want to save her?

He thought back to earlier that evening when Michelle tried to talk to him about what had happened in the locker room. He felt like the biggest idiot in the world. Tony had known what Michelle was going to say, he knew what she was really talking about…but he pretended it was about something else. He couldn't even remember the reason why he did it. He never had regretted a decision more in his life…even more than he regretted Nina. If he had just talked to her…what if she didn't make it through this?

The thought of Michelle not being able to have kids really hit Tony the hardest. Almost all of the injuries she suffered weren't permanent, they could be healed with time and patience…except that one. Michelle was so young, full of so much life, she should be able to have all of the kids in the world if she wanted to. She deserved to have that happiness if she wanted it, but what if it was taken away? Her whole life was laid out in front of him.

After flipping through his charts and papers one last time, Glen had a puzzled look on his face. "What's confusing is that there are no reported injuries to suggest any sign of a struggle, on either Mr. Lustkovitz or Ms. Dessler. It's as if Michelle just sat there and took a beating…"

Immediately Tony stood up. Now he knew he was going to get upset. He would not sit there and let the doctor remind him that Michelle endured all of this shit on her own, without any attempt of helping herself. He interrupted him midsentence.

"Can I go see her now? Is she still sedated?"

Dr. Bradford looked up at him curiously. "Um, yes the sedation should be wearing off any minute now, let us just finish cleaning her off and then you can go see her for a short time. And please, I'm asking that you don't get her upset at all, she needs this time to relax, rest, and recover."

Tony nodded. When Glen walked away he got suddenly nervous. This entire time he had been dying to see Michelle, to see she was okay with his own eyes. Now, he was terrified. He didn't know how bad of a condition she would be in, and hoped that he could hold it together long enough. The last thing she needed was to see someone she relied on as being strong break down in front of her.

He walked into Michelle's room as the nurses finished pulling the tube out of her throat. He watched with horror as her body gagged and convulsed involuntary. When the tube was finally out, she took in a deep breath and coughed. She was still heavily sedated, and the nurses told him it would be a couple of minutes before she was aware of his presence.

Tony walked in the room cautiously as the nurses left and finally looked at her. She was in a thin hospital gown under a blanket, with dozens of tubes and wires connected to her body. Her entire right side was wrapped tight with gauze from the surgery and her curly red hair had mats of dried blood clotted in it. She was hooked up to several beeping monitors, and both of her arms spewed IV lines full of drugs. He noticed that the nurses had left her hospital gown up, leaving her stomach bare. Tony saw where the nail had stabbed into her side and felt queasy. Then he saw giant bruises resembling feet scattered around her stomach, and marks the perfect size of a thumb on her arms. He looked at her stomach and reminded himself to breathe. It was completely yellow and purple from the bleeding.

Finally he looked at her face and noticed the many cuts and scrapes that overshadowed her perfect complexion. Then he saw two giant handprints around her neck where someone tried to strangle her, and he thought his knees would buckle out underneath him. His chin began to quiver and his eyes stung with tears. He desperately pressed his face into his palms and ran them through his hair. He paced the white hospital room looking at anything except her. He needed to get control, and fast. A few tears escaped and he quickly wiped them away.

Tony looked back at Michelle's sleeping figure again and slowly walked toward her. He sat down next to the bed and gently put his hand over hers. Her fingers felt like ice, and he noticed goose bumps all along her arms and neck. Gently he pulled the covers of the blanket back up on her, covering her stomach, the stab wound, and most of her chest. He tucked her in and made sure she was warm. She let out a small sigh of contentment in her slumber and Tony's heart broke. After everything she had been through, she was made happy just by being tucked in.

Tony continued to hold her hand until she began to stir. Her eyes fluttered open and blinked furiously, trying to get adjusted to the bright lights and her new surroundings. Michelle tried to bring her left hand up to rub her eyes but was restrained by the tubes and needles. She jumped and felt a sudden pain in her arm. "Ugh, oww, what the hell…"

She turned to her right and saw Tony sitting at her bedside, holding her hand. "Tony?" she squinted. Her voice was hoarse and dry from the tube and she coughed. "Hey" he whispered softly. "It's okay, take it easy. Don't make any sudden movements, you'll hurt yourself.

She was completely overwhelmed. She had no idea what was happening. "What…what's going on? Where am I?"

Tony took a deep breath. "You're in CTU Medical. You just got out of surgery and are on a lot of pain meds, so please relax."

The heart rate monitor began to spike. Michelle's breathing quickened and she was suddenly very anxious and flustered. "What? Why am I here, what happened? I need to get out of here, oww ow!" she twitched at the pain in her arm when she tried to get up out of bed. Tony immediately held her down.

"Michelle, please listen to me, you need to relax. Calm down before you hurt yourself, I'm right here, everything's going to be okay, please…" Tony begged. Michelle looked at him groggily and the heart monitor began to slow.

"Sshh, shh it's okay" he soothed. "I'm right here. It's okay, I'm here. You're going to be fine." He rubbed his thumb across her hand and she let out a deep, tired sigh. She coughed again and grabbed her stomach at the pain. "Ugh, what happened? What's wrong with me?" Her voice was still hoarse and she was having trouble speaking.

He couldn't do this, this was too much…all of it. He closed his eyes and took in a shaky breath. "You were attacked last night on the mission. Do you remember anything?"

Michelle squeezed her eyes shut and tried to think. "Umm, I remember the club…dancing, the lights…then I went into the bathroom, and…." her eyes flew open. "Damien. Damien Lustkovitz was there. Tony, did you find him? Is he in custody?"

"Yes, he's dead."

Michelle's face fell. "Shit" she muttered. She shook her head apologetically. "This is all my fault. Damn it, how are we going to find the hard drive now? I'm sorry."

Tony looked at her in disbelief. "Michelle, what are you talking about? Don't be sorry at all. Without you, we wouldn't have made it this far. This entire operation survived because of you and everything you did. I can't even tell you how much intel we gained from this mission, all because of you."

She shook her head. "Yeah, but the point was for him to come out alive so we could question him. God, my first undercover op and I blow it."

Tony was shocked. "I can't even believe you're saying this. Michelle, you were fantastic. Ryan and George are ecstatic, and you should be, too. You should be proud of everything you helped accomplish."

Michelle looked at him and didn't say a word but coughed again. She grabbed her stomach involuntarily, and moaned in pain. "God, it just hurts to breathe."

A tear escaped from Tony's eye. He wiped it away and hoped she didn't notice. He needed to leave, fast. He did not want to break down in front of her. She needed him to be strong. "What else do you remember?" he asked.

"The next thing I remember was Damien…kicking me, and then Jack showed up, and I heard this loud bang, and…" she looked down at her shoulder and her eyes widened. "Oh my God…was I shot?"

Tony nodded again and licked his lips. "Yes. Damien shot you in the back, and Jack shot him in the head."

Michelle squinted. "I remember…I told Jack to shoot, we worked together and I threw myself on the floor…Damien had a gun to my back. After that, everything just went dark…I remember someone carrying me, I think it was Jack? And then the sound of a helicopter. Oh my God, I was in so much pain I couldn't even concentrate." Tears fell from her eyes and she sniffed. Tony felt terrible about having to make her relive this. He should have known better, it was way too soon for this.

Tony leaned over and held her in his strong arms. He wanted to take all of her pain away, but he felt so useless. "Hey hey, it's okay, you're safe now." He held her in his arms and Michelle cried into his shoulder. Her body shook violently and quiet squeaks escaped from her hoarse throat. He rubbed small circles into her back and was gentle to avoid her shoulder and any bruises.

Michelle thought her entire body was on fire. Tony's touch, the warmth of his skin, radiated into her. Everywhere he touched, he left a mark of healing and warmth. She rested her head on his shoulder and just cried…about the pain, the guilt, the embarrassment, the violation. After a few minutes she regained control and choked out, "I really need some water. My throat is killing me."

Tony pulled away and nodded, but Michelle grabbed his hand and whispered, "Please, please don't leave. I need someone here…please." Tony's chest cracked, and he felt the warm stains from her tears touch his skin. He called in a nurse who fetched Michelle some water and Tony helped her take a few sips. After she was done she asked, "My…my voice is so raspy. Why does my throat hurt so bad?" she asked

Tony put down the cup. "The doctor's had to intubate you after the surgery to lower some swelling in your brain. You woke up right after they pulled the tube out, so your throat will probably be sore for the next few days."

Michelle looked at him with horror and another tear slipped out. "They had to…intubate?" her chin quivered and she looked up at the ceiling and swallowed. "This just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?"

Tony took her hand again. "Hey, look you're okay now. I know this is rough, but I promise you everything will be fine. I'm…I'm sorry."

She turned her head. "What? What are you sorry about?"

"That I wasn't there to protect you. That I couldn't stop that…that monster from doing all of this to you."

Michelle covered Tony's hand with the one he wasn't holding. "Tony, this had nothing to do with you. It wasn't your fault, you couldn't have done anything to stop it. I can take care of myself."

Tony looked down at the floor. "Then why didn't you?" he whispered quietly.

Michelle looked at him curiously. "What are you talking about? You think I wanted this to happen?"

"I mean, why didn't you fight back? Jack told me what happened…why the hell did you agree to something like that? You could have gotten yourself killed, you almost died, Michelle!" He was starting to get angry. "And you just sat there and took a beating! What the hell were you thinking?"

She was shocked. "Excuse me? Now this is all my fault?"

"No, of course not! But half of this could have been prevented if you had just taken care of yourself."

"I wasn't trying to be a hero or anything! I figured you would know me better than that."

"No, that's not what I was say-"

"I did this because it was best for the mission. Thousands of lives were at stake Tony, and still are, and you said so yourself that we gained a lot of intel from this. If I had fought back who knows what might have happened? At first, I thought Jack was crazy, but he was right! Both of us see it that way, so why can't you?"

"Because," Tony thought to himself, "I can't stand the thought of you getting hurt…or worse."

Michelle continued and more tears began to slip out. She was getting really upset. She couldn't believe Tony was acting like this. "I would never risk my life so I could get attention or some kind of medal. Do you think I want something like that? Don't you know me at all?"

Tony regretted ever bringing it up. He leaned over again to hug her but she pushed him away. "No. I can't…I can't see you right now."

His heart was broken. He only had wanted to comfort her, and now by saying something stupid he only upset her even more. "Michelle…"he pleaded. "You can't possibly think that. I know you would never do something like that for attention, it's just that I…" He about to empty his soul. He was going to tell her that he had feelings, deep feelings for her. That all he wanted to do was protect her. That he couldn't stand the sight of her in pain. That he would give up his life for her in an instant just so that she wouldn't ever have to suffer.

"No" she interrupted him. "I need time to think. Please, just go back to work. Find the bastards that did this and…just go."

"I'm sorry" he whispered.

She looked at him and nodded. "I know. I know you didn't mean it. And I'm not mad, really. I just need some time alone. I'm exhausted."

He understood and walked out of the room. As he headed back into CTU he couldn't help but wish the last five minutes never happened. Just as he was about to turn out of the hospital wing he heard someone yell his name.

"Mr. Almeida! Anthony, sir!"

Tony spun around to see Dr. Bradford and he rolled his eyes. He was not in the mood to talk to any more doctors. He just wanted to get out of here.

"Please, call me Tony. What can I do for you?"

"Tony, we contacted Michelle's brother, Daniel Dessler."

Tony nodded. "So you don't need me as 'in loco parentis' anymore?"

"Actually sir, that's where the problem is. Unfortunately Mr. Dessler is in a psychiatric hospital in east LA and is currently considered incompetent to make any decisions regarded his own health, let alone his sister's."

Tony's eyes widened. He had no idea Michelle's little brother was in a pysch. ward. "I see. I apologize, I wasn't aware of his condition."

Glen nodded. "We were able to speak with him on the phone, and he mentioned that Michelle does have a few close friends within the area, but other than that there is no one in direct relation to Ms. Dessler that can make decision regarding her health."

"So what you're saying is you still need me?"

He nodded. "Yes, if that's okay with you."

"No, it's fine. She doesn't have anyone else, so I'd be glad to take care of her. I was just heading back to my office to see if there have been any updates regarding the state and location of the men who did this to her."

"Good. On a lighter note, we think that we will be able to release Michelle in a few days, but we do not want her staying alone. It's best if there is somewhere she can stay for a week or two to receive the individual care that she needs until she can take care of herself."

Tony paused. He knew what Glen was implying. "Okay, I will take care of it. Thank you."

As he walked back into CTU, Tony knew he was going to take Michelle home with him. Or stay at her place. He didn't feel comfortable leaving her with any friends, especially since he had no idea who they were. Besides, this way he could keep an eye on her, make sure she was okay. For some reason, Tony felt very possessive of her. Instead of attempting to locate her friends, he sat at his desk and rang George's office.

"Y'ello, Mason."

"Screw you, George."

George couldn't help but smirk. "Oh Tony, how lovely to speak to you, too."

"Why the hell did you tell Michelle's doctor I would be the one to make decisions for her while she was incapacitated? You had no right to do that."

"Look, I really don't have time for this right now."

"I know you don't. That's why I was just calling to tell you that I'm going to be out for the next few days, possibly a week."

"WHAT?" George yelled. "What are you talking about, Tony? We are in the middle of a crisis here, you can't just back out like that! What reason could you possibly have?"

"Listen, I haven't taken a sick day or used any vacation time in over 3 years, and you put Michelle under my care. She needs someone to take care of her for a few days after she's released, and there is no one else she can go with. She's my responsibility now, and I'm going to take care of her."

George was stunned. He couldn't believe that his plan had backfired.

"I'll let you know when by time off begins. If you need to reach me during that period, call me on my cell. I'll be at home." And he hung up the phone, a huge smile on his face. He'd been wanting to get at George for a long time, and he finally found a way to do it.