Disclaimer: See last chapter.
~ "Watching you fall apart." ~
Finn looked in the mirror as he put down the phone, watching the tears fall down his face. He couldn't believe this had happened, he always suspected something but he didn't want it to be true – he never wanted this to happen.
He shook his head, at least she was getting help now. He wiped away his tears, and smiled slightly, it might be okay now. Rachel would get better, and everything would be okay once more. He nodded and then looked down at his phone, grabbing it and texting his girlfriend quickly -
'Good luck my beautiful star, I know you can do this. You can can recover from this, you are so much stronger than you believe. I will come and see you the moment you call. Miss you so much, baby.. I love you more than anything. Forever yours, Finn.'
He nodded at his own text and smiled, hopefully it would be okay. He pressed send and then looked around his bedroom, satisfied with himself. He decided to go see the rest of the Glee club, let them know what was going on. He knew it would be hard for Rachel, and they would all have to get the lead singer through it.
He frowned at the conversation they had just had – she had begged him to tell Kurt for her because she was too scared to phone him herself. He bit down on his lip, trying to think if Kurt already knew about the girl. Does his step-brother suffer too? He shook the thought off, yes, it could explain their closeness but it didn't make sense. Kurt ate, he knew he did.
He was glad Rachel was getting help, she would be in hospital from tomorrow morning. He was surprised that she had chosen to phone him – even though he was her boyfriend, he always thought Kurt would have been the first person she would phone. Maybe they had an argument or something, he shook his head and walked out of his bedroom, jumping slightly when his phone beeped. Smiling when he saw her name on the text.
'Thank you my gorgeous boyfriend, I am going to try so hard. I cannot do this anymore. You are the most amazing boyfriend anyone could ever ask for and I am so sorry for everything I have put you through lately. I never meant to push you away, I am so glad you stayed with me. I am so lucky. I know I need to get better, and I am going to try as hard as I can. I miss you too, baby, I love you so much. Forever yours, Rachel.'
He waited for the Glee club to gather – all except Kurt, who was still on his run and Finn wanted to tell the boy on his own. "I need to talk to all of you." He ignored their frowns as they all sat down, Santana muttering something about having better places to be.
"Rachel just called me." He looked at them all and then sat down,
"So?" A few of them rolled their eyes and turned away, others looked at him in confusion,
"I saw her this morning, Finn." Blaine spoke up quietly as his eyes brimmed with tears, and he bit down on his lip before carrying on. "She was with Kurt, running... she was... so tiny and Kurt just seemed oblivious." He clenched his fist at the thought, biting down on his lip harder,
"She's been hospitalized." Finn looked at Blaine, he hadn't really seen his girlfriend recently; mostly just around school, she seemed to be avoiding him but he knew how tiny she was, but there was something that really spooked Blaine this morning.
"Why?" Santana spoke up, for once not saying anything nasty about the girl,
"She has anorexia, she's been admitted on an emergency basis... her BMI is twelve point.. something.. and normal is eighteen.. so, she's going to get help." He looked at their faces, a lone tear finding it's way down his face as he sighed.
"She looked so fragile, I wanted to run up to her and wrap my arms tight around her but I thought she could break..." Blaine whispered, shaking his head as the image just wouldn't leave his mind.
"What happened to our Rachel?" Tina whispered, looking down as she cried,
"Sometimes.. these things happen to people who we least expect it to.. something sent her over the edge but she will be okay now, she's getting help and that's all that matters, alright guys?" Mike looked at all of them as he held his own girlfriend close, not knowing what he would do if something ever happened to her.
"I want her back.." Quinn sighs, never thinking she would say that about her previous rival for Finn's attention.
"Me too and we will, soon.. she's so determined to do this." Finn tried to smile, tried to be strong because they were already down a leader, he had to step up until she came back.
"What did she say to you on the phone?" Mercedes asked, looking at the boy who closed his eyes, trying to remember the whole conversation:
"Hello?" Finn picked up his mobile phone on the other end,
"Finn?" He smiled at the sound of her voice on the other end, relieved to finally hear from her,
"Rachel? What's wrong?"
"I need to tell you something but please don't hate me." She sounded so weak, she didn't sound like the Rachel he had fallen in love with anymore.
"Okay.." He sat down on his bed and waited for her to carry on speaking, not wanting to press her for information.
"I am going to the hospital tomorrow.. I.. I've been diagnosed with anorexia."
"Oh my god.. I mean.. I thought... I just.. I didn't know for sure.. w-what.. what happened?"
"My dads made me go to the Doctors, they weighed me, took my blood pressure, asked me questions.. she said I was underweight, and it was quite important I had to go hospital very soon." Finn nodded, busying himself on google as she cried on the other side of the phone.
"What's your BMI?" He muttered, typing it in on google – he had to know she would be okay, he had to know she wasn't too badly underweight.
"12.8." She muttered, not knowing what Finn was doing as he typed quicker than he ever had before. He shook his head, noting that the BMI for underweight was 18.5; his girlfriend was tiny. He let a few tears fall down his face, quickly wiping them away as he tried to speak,
"How could you let it get this far?"
He could hear her crying on the other end of the phone, "I don't know.."
"Does anyone else know?"
"N-no.. just you. Will you tell everyone? I won't be allowed any visitors for a while.. not until I gain weight. When I do, I will phone you straight away, if that's okay?"
"Of course it is okay."
"I have to go now, I love you Finn."
"Love you too.. I miss you."
"I miss you too, bye." She hung up and Finn dropped the phone to the floor, looking around his bedroom as he wondered what the hell had been going on with his girlfriend.
"She didn't say much, she was so tired by the sounds of it.. so weak." He shook his head, keeping his eyes closed as he tried to think about what happened to her.
"She's going to be okay." Quinn whispered, trying to reassure herself and those around her.
"I really do hope so."
~ .. ~
Kurt sat down on the rock where he and Rachel met every single morning, she still hadn't turned up and he had been waiting for over an hour. He sighed and looked at his watch, knowing the girl never missed these runs, so something must have happened. She never phoned him last night, either, and he was confused about what happened, if he had done anything wrong.
He looked up and around, deciding she wouldn't be here soon, so he made his way home instead. "Did you have a nice run?" He looked at his dad and nodded, making his way up the stairs, in no mood for a conversation.
"What's wrong?" He walked up behind him, putting his hand on his shoulder as he shook his head. "I don't feel too good, need to lay down." He nodded and sighed before giving up and walking off, leaving Kurt to go to his bedroom.
He lays down and looks at his ceiling, thinking about the possible reasons why she wouldn't turn up. He would have known if something happened to her, he was sure she would have told him or at least Finn.
He closes his eyes and wakes up a few hours later, to someone walking into his bedroom. "Kurt?" He slides into the room and looks at his step-brother, "Can you come downstairs for just a moment? I was going to speak to you in private but Burt and my mom have a right to hear what I have to say."
Kurt nodded and followed the boy downstairs, his heart beating too fast as he tried to think about something that could make Finn so serious, and so quiet. He sat down with the two adults and with Finn, watching the boy as he took a deep breath.
"Rachel phoned me last night." Finn spoke after a lingering silence, Kurt looked up at him, wondering why she hadn't phoned him too, wrinkling his nose to make sure it didn't look like he was hurt, he shrugged and sighed,
"And?"
"She's in hospital." He looked up instantly, suddenly getting dizzy. He thought about how he could never do this without her, how could she let herself be caught? How could she let herself get put into hospital? Now she's gone, and he has nobody. He was angry at her, at himself and at her fathers. He hated her for doing this to him.
He looked up at Finn with tears in his eyes, and then quickly looked away. Finn took a deep breath and carried on, "She's been diagnosed with anorexia." It was obvious he was trying to be strong, his heart breaking with every single word he spoke.
"I knew it." Carole muttered mostly to herself as she shook her head and then looked back down at the ground, "I should have done something to help her, I knew what was happening.. I should have been able to help her before it got this far."
"I knew about it, Carole.. I didn't do anything either." Kurt looked downa t the floor, ashamed of himself – his mother was right, it had all gone too far and he was the one who had helped her make herself sicker. He could only wish he had protected her.
"You knew?" He looked up at Finn and sighed,
"She pushed everyone else away, I made her tell me what was wrong. I thought it was my fault because I helped her with an exercise and diet plan." A tear fell down his face, he didn't make a move to wipe it away,
"Blaine saw you both running yesterday, and then just two hours after that, she was diagnosed with Anorexia." Finn looked at the other boy, shaking his head, absolutely disgusted with him.
"I didn't mean to."
"You saw how underweight she was! She looks terrible.. she looks as though she could break at any second and you let her go for runs with you?"
Kurt shakes his head and whispers, "I don't know.."
"You were with her yesterday? You said you went on your own, we told you that Rachel needed a break." Kurt looked up at his father and nodded, hanging his head in shame.
"I'm sorry.. I didn't notice her pain and I don't know why. I guess I didn't want to." Carole got up and wrapped her arms around the boy, the lies came so easily to him because he did know about all the pain the girl was feeling, he was one of the reasons behind it all. He buried his face into her warm body and started to cry, wondering why he had let Rachel do this to herself.
He jumped when he heard the door slam hard, and Finn was gone. Rachel was gone, he had nobody left. He didn't need anyone though, because as far as he was concerned, everyone forgot about him.