Author's note: hi again everyone! I missed you all, I know it's been awhile (sorry to leave you hanging with that cliff hanger). I've been suffering from some severe writers block/lack of inspiration. I have SO many great storylines in mind, but none of them are ready for this part of their relationship, so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEE tell me if you think I should continue with this story. I wanted this to be something great, but now I'm wondering whether I should just forget it and work on other little 'ficlets', so please tell me what you think. Also, I absolutely love the ending of this chapter, maybe you won't, but let me know any way (I came up with it as I was writing and fell in love with it, so tell me if you like it as much as I do :D). anyways, enjoy!
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Chapter 10
Maybe This Time
Tony immediately picked up the phone. "Almeida."
"Mr. Almeida, this is Glen Bradford, Ms. Dessler's physician in CTU Medical…"
"Yes" Tony interrupted. "I know who you are. How is she?"
"Would it be possible for you to come down to medical for just a few minutes to go over her condition?"
Tony felt sick. "What happened? Is she okay?" he demanded. There must be something seriously wrong, or else the doctor wouldn't have asked to speak to him in person.
"Yes sir, she's alive, if that's what you mean. But I need you to come down and sign a few papers before I can debrief you on her condition. You still are her 'in loco parentis,' and…"
"I'll be right down" Tony muttered and slammed down the phone. "Stupid legality" he grumbled and flew out of his chair toward medical. He went from walking, to jogging, to practically sprinting through the bullpen past George's office. Mason looked down and saw Tony running, so he called down to him through the open door,
"Tony? TONY? Where are you going?"
"To get updated on Michelle's condition. Dr. Bradford called me down" he called, not even turning his head.
He continued to run to medical and threw the door open. He spotted a sandy-blonde at the nurse's desk and stopped him. "Dr. Bradford" he panted. "How is she?"
Before the doctor could speak, Tony had to fill out a clipboard full of forms. He was really starting to get angry that no one would tell her about her condition. Once he was finished, Dr. Bradford sat down next to him.
"It turns out my theory was correct" Glen said gravely. "Michelle's internal bleeding was worse than expected, and she did retract a staph infection from the surgery."
"How bad is it?" Tony asked nervously. Maybe he didn't want to hear this.
"Sometimes bleeding can be too small to pick up initially, and can either heal on its own or continue to get worse until it is addressed. In Michelle's case, she had a minor puncture wound on her spleen that probably would have healed on its own, but something caused the tear to widen. You said she complained about the pain when you were about to leave?"
Tony nodded and felt sick. He knew it…it was all his fault.
The doctor nodded as well. "She probably made a sudden movement that stretched the wound and caused it to widen."
"She, um…when she lifted her leg to get in my SUV, she fell over and grabbed her stomach…"
"That may be the source then. Michelle probably over-stretched her abdominal muscles, and bled out internally."
Tony put his head in his hands. He should have seen this coming, this was entirely his fault. Why couldn't he have just picked her up and put her in the car himself? Then all of this could have been prevented…the nurses told him Michelle should take it easy, why didn't he listen? Dr. Bradford could tell Tony was very upset.
"Mr. Almeida, let me assure you that this is not something that can be predicted. None of your actions contributed to this in anyway. Everything you've been doing so far is perfect…providing her with the care she needs, assuring her safety… sometimes this kind of thing happens without our control…in fact, your actions probably saved her life."
Tony looked up at the doctor, and he nodded in affirmation.
"Yes. She was brought in soon enough that we were able to repair the wound and stop the bleeding without surgery, and because of your quick thinking, we avoided a transfusion. It's very fortunate you've been around lately."
Tony still didn't fully accept the doctor's confession. Glen could sense this, and decided to continue with the diagnoses.
"Also, like I said…Michelle contracted a staph infection from the surgery. We caught it early enough that general prescription antibiotics should have her back to normal within a week at most."
"So…that's what the fever was from?"
"Yes. Ms. Dessler did have a dangerously high fever…at one point it spiked to 104.1, which is why she was so groggy and practically unconscious at times. Unfortunately, that is one of the characteristics of staph infections, especially one of this size and severity. Luckily, she didn't retain any long-term damage from the temperature, although she may be more sore than usual for the next few days. We're sending her home with a higher dose of pain killers to help."
"Wait, you're sending her home? Already?"
Glen hesitated. "We'd like to keep her here overnight, just to be sure she's stable, but I think Michelle will have a faster and less-painful recovery if she's in a comfortable environment, not a hospital bed. She's been through a lot of trauma within the past week, both physically and Medical will just be a constant reminder of all she's been through. If she's released to a place where she's more relaxed, then her body can focused on getting better. And by release, I mean…"
"Coming home with me, I know" Tony interrupted.
"Is that…still okay with you?"
"Yes, of course it is!" Tony said. "Staying with me is not a problem; I just want to make sure that she's okay before you send her home again. I don't want to have another day like today."
"I understand, sir. And I can assure you, that nothing like this should happen again. In fact, I believe Michelle's making excellent progress. We just did an x-ray and removed her cast. She'll need to be in a sling for awhile, but her arm has completely healed, even faster than we expected."
Tony nodded. "That's…excellent" he said. Thank God, finally some positive news.
"Yes. We just put her on a sedative to help her relax, but she may still be awake if you'd like to go visit her."
"Yes, please!" he said eagerly.
Tony walked into the room to see Michelle hooked up to fewer wires than before. She already lay fast asleep in her hospital bed, her wet hair strewn across the pillow. Her breathing was slow and deep, and a heart monitor beeped rhythmically. Tony was so glad to see her relaxed. He had been able to tell earlier that just breathing was extremely difficult. Now, she was fast asleep with no nightmares, no cast on her arm, and breathing deeply. She looked so peaceful, Tony didn't want to disturb her from that.
Dr. Bradford followed Tony into the hospital room. "Ah, I see the medication kicked in. I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to speak with her before she fell asleep."
Tony shook his head and continued to look at Michelle's still body. "Don't be. She's finally feeling better…I'm glad. She needs this…badly." Tony was captivated, watching her chest rise and fall, the rosiness of her smooth cheeks. Some time passed before the doctor walked in again and interrupted Tony from his thoughts.
He scratched the side of his face and decided it was best for him to leave. "Look, I'm not going to be productive just standing here, so why don't you call me at my desk when she wakes up?"
Glen nodded. "Will do. Have a good day, Mr. Almeida."
When Tony walked back into CTU, he realized over 45 minutes had past. 'Wow…I must have been standing there a long time' he thought.
Immediately he was bombarded with questions from George. Once Tony finished updating him, he walked back over to his desk and put his head in his hands. It was already 3 o'clock in the afternoon; nothing had been done, and Tony was exhausted. He tried to distract himself by getting to work.
Two hours had past. Tony was done with all of his duties, and every five minutes he found himself staring at his phone, waiting for it to ring. "It's like I'm waiting for water to boil" he grumbled. He stared at the pile on his desk. He could take advantage of the time and work ahead. 'Nah' he thought. Tony never planned ahead like that, especially when it came to paperwork. After contemplating for a few minutes, Tony ran out to his SUV and picked up a couple burgers, fries and cups of coffee from McDonalds. He drove back to CTU, and snuck into medical. He easily slipped past the nurses' station, quietly entered Michelle's room, and shut the door. When he turned around, he was shocked to see Michelle in the same position she had been in 3 hours ago.
'Wow' he thought. 'She's so tired, she hasn't even moved.'
The color had returned to her face, and her breathing was still deep and steady. Tony sat down beside her bed, smelling the food. He was starving, but didn't want to eat without her, so he put it off to the side and decided to wait until she woke up. Tenderly, Tony stroked Michelle's hand. It was soft and smooth, and he picked it up in his own. His thumb gingerly caressed hers. 'I can't do this' he thought. 'I can't wake her up…not now.'
Michelle slowly opened her heavy eyelids and let out a deep groan. They felt like weights. Blinking a few times, she awoke to a dark blue room in a very uncomfortable bed. 'Where am I?' she thought. Then she recognized the room as the same one in CTU Medical that she had been in merely days before.
"Crap" she grumbled. What the hell happened? She tried to think back, to whatever she remembered…she remembered breakfast…at Tony's house. Tony? Where was he? Was he hurt, like her? Did they get into an accident or something? She remembered feeling a sharp pain, and then everything went fuzzy from there. She had been in the car. Then she remembered Tony talking to her, about something…he had carried her at some point. And she had been laying in a gurney, too. What was going on?
Michelle tried to lift her body out of the bed, but felt a weight on her leg holding her down. "What the…" Before she said anything, she recognized a head full of curly, black hair on her thigh.
"Tony?" she said. He was asleep, his hand holding hers. Michelle glanced around the room nervously and spotted a clock. '9:34' it read.
"Oh my God" she whispered. She slipped her hand out of his palm and gingerly rubbed his head. "Tony" she said. Her fingers ran through his thick, curly hair, and she felt a pang in her chest. Michelle couldn't tell if it was from an injury…or not. "Tony" she repeated. His head lifted up and looked around. Then he turned toward her and jumped. "Oh, you're awake!" he stated. He sat back up in his chair, rubbing his eyes. "What time is it?" he grumbled.
"9:30" she replied.
Tony let out a laugh. "Seriously? Sorry about that, I must've fallen asleep."
Michelle smiled a little. "That's okay. What…happened? What's going on"
Tony told Michelle everything, starting from the car ride there. Throughout the story, Michelle seemed to get nervous, so Tony made sure to leave out some minor details to make her feel better.
"And I guess you've noticed by now, you don't need a cast anymore!"
Michelle looked at her arm and smiled. "Yeah, I saw. Thank God something good came out of all of this."
Tony nodded. "Anyways, Dr. Bradford thinks you'll be ready to go home as soon as tomorrow afternoon. Seems like this kind of thing is pretty average, so no need to panic."
Michelle smiled softly and nodded. "Thanks" she said quietly. "You know, you really didn't have to stay this entire time. You're obviously exhausted, since you practically passed out on my bed. You should have gone home."
Tony smirked. "Yeah, sorry about that. I was planning on waiting until you woke up, but I guess my adrenaline all just wore out at once and…I did too."
Michelle laughed, for the first time that entire day. Tony was so glad to finally see her smiling again. He'd give anything to make her happy.
"And you'd think I'd leave you alone here? After everything that happened? You were so scared before we left, and you've been through a lot today…heck, you scared the hell out of me a few times."
Michelle looked at him curiously. "I scared you?" she replied in disbelief.
"Well, yeah, you did. You should have seen yourself…not to freak you out, but you were pretty out of it at times. I ended up carrying you into CTU, practically unconsciously. Honestly…I thought you were dead."
Michelle remained silent and stared at the blanket on her lap. "Seems like that's the second near-death experience I've had this week."
"You scared a lot of people these week" Tony admitted. "But none of that is your fault, you know that, right?"
Michelle nodded. "Good" he said. "Because I don't know how much more of this rescuing stuff I can do. I mean, come on, can't you give a guy a break?"
Michelle smiled and her stomach growled loudly at the same time.
"Which reminds me…" Tony pulled out the bags of food and cups of coffee. "Ta-da!" he stated proudly. "Actually, I picked these up hours ago, so it's probably not a good idea…"
"Oh no!" she interrupted. "No, really I'll eat anything right now" she said eagerly. "I don't care if its days old, honestly."
Together, they ate cold burgers and fries, but it tasted like the best meal ever because they were so hungry.
Once they finished, Michelle kept asking about the status of protocols in CTU.
"Michelle, you're in a hospital bed right now, and there's no immediate crisis. Don't worry about what's going on in CTU."
"Really, I want to know. It helps me concentrate on something else, instead of just sitting here feeling sorry for myself."
So for the next hour, Tony updated her on the current situation. But even he was starting to get frustrated.
"Can't we talk about anything besides work?"
Michelle giggled at his impatience. "Wow, Jack was right…you really are impatient."
Tony smirked. "When did he say that?"
Michelle blushed. "When I first started here, Jack introduced himself to me, and showed me around a little. Once I told him I was the new IPM, he laughed and said I'd be working with Anthony Almeida, the best boss with the worst temper."
Tony laughed aloud. "Jack's such an instigator; he knows exactly how to push my buttons." He took a sip of cold coffee. "But that also means we can predict each other's moves, which is necessary for this job, especially when you're out in the field."
Michelle nodded in agreement. "I can see that, just from the time I've been here."
"And he called me Anthony?" Tony commented.
Michelle smiled again. "Yeah. Actually, he told me that was your name, but I noticed everyone else called you Tony, so I figured I'd do the same."
"Sounds like he was setting you up."
"I think he was," she laughed. "Obviously he wanted me in the job."
"Nah, that's just Jack's twisted way of welcoming you into the office. He tries to get every new employee to do something stupid, but hey, it looks like you didn't fall for it."
"I guess not."
"So…" Tony stated. It was 11 o'clock and both of them were exhausted, but he had thoroughly enjoyed talking with her.
"Tell me more about Buenos Aires," Michelle said. "Or about growing up in Chicago."
Tony looked at her strangely. Michelle hoped he wouldn't be able to tell that she was trying to distract him from leaving.
"I've told you most of my childhood when we were training. How about you? You grew up in Seattle, right?"
Michelle nodded. "Yeah, I moved there when I was 4. I actually lived in Nebraska before that, but hardly remember any of it."
"Nebraska? Wow. Do you have any family there?"
"Just an aunt and uncle, but I hardly ever see them. The only thing I remember from Nebraska is that I had a horse when I was little. My parents got her for me for my third birthday. I named her Starr, because I used to love to go outside in the middle of the night and stare at the stars. I used to watch her jump, and it reminded me of a star twinkling in the sky. We had to sell her when we moved, but Danny and I used to play with her all the time."
Tony remembered what the doctor had said about Michelle's brother, Danny. He desperately wanted to know why he was in a psychiatric hospital, but realized it was none of his business. Michelle had no idea Tony knew…heck, she may not even know herself…but he realized it was in her best interests to leave it alone.
Tony could tell that even at the mention of Danny's name, Michelle grew very quiet. 'She must know then' he thought. He tried to pretend as he hadn't noticed.
"So, what's the first thing you want to eat when you get out of here?" he said in an attempt to distract her.
Michelle looked up at him. "What are you talking about?" she asked.
"Well, besides breakfast this morning, you haven't had a home-cooked meal in days; your diet has consisted of hospital rubber and fast food."
Michelle laughed. "That's what my normal diet consists of. Breakfast today was the first real meal I've had in awhile."
"What are you talking about?"
"Remember when I burnt the coffee this morning? That is just a glimpse at what my real cooking is like. Honestly, I'm helpless. Everything I cook ends up burning, setting off a smoke alarm, or tasting awful."
"Oh, come on, it can't be that bad."
"Oh, trust me…it is. I tend to stick towards fast food, take out, or microwavable meals with very simple instructions, otherwise I'd starve."
"How can you survive on junk like that?"
"Simple; I skip breakfast, go out for lunch, and get take out for dinner."
Tony stared at her in disbelief. "So you don't cook for yourself? Or ever make a meal?"
Michelle shook her head. "I guess it's hard for you to believe unless you have my talents of burning down kitchens" she replied. "When you have my abilities, you're forced to learn how to survive…simple Darwin evolution theory."
Tony laughed at her candid response. "Well, that certainly has to change. Tell ya what; when you leave tomorrow, I'll make a nice, homemade dinner as a 'welcome back' present."
Michelle smiled. "Sounds good. A 'welcome back' meal even though I've only been gone for a few hours. But don't put yourself through too much trouble. I really appreciate the gesture."
Tony smirked, kicked off his shoes and plopped his feet on the bed. "You're so proper, even out of work. Trust me, just because I'm your boss, doesn't mean you have to tip toe around me. Really, Jack was right when he said I'm easy-going. I don't slack off, but I'm certainly no Ryan Chappelle. Just relax…and be natural! I've seen you much less tense than this."
Michelle was stunned at his statement. He was so…collected and calm out of the office. She was really starting to like everything about him; his personality, his professional and casual demeanor. He was relaxed, sarcastic, and funny, but never cocky. He cared about everyone, which was obvious since he was sitting at his employee's hospital bedside at 11 o'clock at night. Never had she met someone that would let them stay at their apartment, take off of work, and take care of someone they had just met months before. Tony was a great guy…inside and out.
She finally admitted to herself the feelings she had towards him. Every time he was near, Michelle's heart sped up. When he touched her, even the slightest, most appropriate gesture, Michelle felt like every nerve in her body was on fire. She felt a wave of burning emotions and passion come over and immerse her in everything…him. He was sexy, sweet…which made him even more sexy. He had the most muscular body Michelle had ever seen…he was almost too perfect.
'Stop it' she thought to herself. 'This is ridiculous….Tony is your boss. It's not even a possibility. And you're not ready yet. You're still battling demons of your own, you're not ready for a relationship again. He's way out of your league anyway…don't even try' said her brain.
'Do it' said her heart. 'Make the most out of your life. Do you really think you're ever going to meet someone like him again? What would you do if you lost this chance? Don't live with that regret…give your best shot, what have you got to lose?'
"Your job" she whispered to herself.
"What?" Tony asked.
Michelle's head shot up and her cheeks flamed red. "Nothing" she stammered.
"Alright then. Well, I better be heading home. See ya tomorrow, Michelle."
"Night Tony" she replied softly. "Thanks for everything" she whispered once he was out of earshot. Michelle watched his figure as it lingered at her doorway then continued to walk through the hallway. 'Maybe' she stated to her heart. 'Maybe one day..maybe this time.'
All she kept thinking about was a song she remembered her mother used to play when she was real little. Her mother loved to play old records on her grandmother's phonograph. Whenever her father wasn't home, she'd blast songs from Broadway musicals and hits from the 40's and dance with Michelle and Danny all over the house. She remembered their favorite song from the old Broadway show Cabaret. Michelle closed her eyes and could vividly remember a day when she was four, and Danny wasn't even born yet. She had bright, curly ringlets like her mother, and they danced and twirled in their socks on the kitchen floor. She was wearing her favorite blue dress, and her mother was in jeans and a sweater. She remembered the gentle smell of her perfume, the softness of her hair. She remembered watching her mother pull out an old record from the shelf and blow dust off the aging cover.
"This" she had said, "was my favorite song when I was your age."
Michelle had watched in awe and studied her moves as she carefully placed the black circle in the big, shiny machine. A loud piano had filled her ears, and she giggled when her mother slid across the floor and sang off-pitch with the lady.
Maybe this time, I'll be lucky
Maybe this time, he'll stay
"Come on, Michelle! Dance with me, baby" her mother had said.
She had loved the sound of her mother's voice. She had smiled and run into her open arms. Together they had danced and danced, twirled and sang. They tickled each other and had the time of their lives.
Maybe this time
For the first time
Love won't hurry away
He will hold me fast
I'll be home at last
Not a loser anymore
Like the last time
And the time before
Everybody loves a winner
So nobody loved me;
'Lady Peaceful,' 'Lady Happy,'
That's what I long to be
All the odds are in my favor
Something's bound to begin
It's got to happen, happen sometime
Maybe this time I'll win
When Michelle opened her eyes, they were filled with tears. She blinked and rubbed them away, wishing for anyone, especially her mother, to hold her again. She looked back at the doorway from which Tony had left, and wanted nothing more than for him to come back.
"This time…I'll win" she whispered as more tears streamed down her face.
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