Time frame: Years after "From Dead to Worse"

This is a companion piece following "Family", "Bowling for Vampires" and "Leather Underwear".

Disclaimer: I don't have any claim on any characters in the Sookie Universe. Please don't sue me. The other characters are my own creation and just wanted to play with them for a while.

A/N: I wanted to break things up a little. This whole chapter is entirely in Cole's POV. I hope you like it. Ally and the gang will be back in the next chapter, I promise.

Chapter 22

2 months ago...

Bill and I looked at Ally lying on the bed. She looked like she could wake at any moment, like she was simply asleep. But she wasn't asleep. Her body was here, but she was somewhere else, somewhere far away.

"What was Ally like as a child?" Bill asked me his eyes finally leaving her face to look at me.

I leaned back in my chair and smiled. "She was a mischievous little sprite. From the first second she toddled over to me in diapers, I was fascinated by her."

"You remember that far into your childhood?"

"Part of my gift." I smiled. "I remember Ally. Every moment is a part of me." Bill had a sad, far off look on his face.

"I wish I could share in your memories."

"You know her now. You and she have new memories of each other to share." I can't believe I was saying this to him.

He nodded slowly. "Did she always have such a strange sense of humor?"

I smiled. "You mean the kind that comes out at the most bizarre moments? Oh yeah, that's Ally. Growing up the way she did, with everyone alienating her, I think originally it was a coping mechanism. Now, I think she's just slightly demented." I winked at him. "In a fun way."

He smiled too. "It certainly catches you off guard."

"Has she played a practical joke on you yet?" I whispered.

"Oh, yes."

"What did she do?"

"She wrote...things on my undergarments." I quirked an eyebrow at him.

I leaned in. "What things?"

He looked around uncomfortably and stood up to unbuckle his pants. Turning his back to me, he pulled them down. On one side of his boxers was a fangy happy face with the words "I'm cute" on it. On the other side was a similar fangy face only it was sticking its tongue out. Below it, it read "I'm cuter- bite me first". I fell off the chair laughing as he quickly pulled up his pants and sat back down. He shook his head in exasperation.

"What brought that on?" I asked.

"I have absolutely no idea. I don't even know when she could have done it. Probably in the daytime when I was resting I suppose. I was shocked to say the least when I pulled them out of my drawer."

"And yet you are still wearing them."

He shrugged. "It seemed a shame to throw away perfectly good underwear. Plus, they've kind of grown on me."

That Ally. She always had a way of getting people to let down their guard. Maybe that's why Bill and I hold on to her so tight. Because we like the way we are when we're around her.

"Ally told me that she once tried to unplug a river by your house and almost drowned."

"Did she also tell you that she was unconscious for 2 days because of it?"

"No, she left that part out."

"Well, she did. I was so upset at her for going off on her own without me. When she woke up, I forbade her from ever pulling a stunt like that again. She just nodded in that quiet way of hers and went ahead and did it anyway." I rolled my eyes smiling. "She's always been very accommodating, but once she's made her mind up- it's over. You can't talk her out of anything."

"Like with Eric."

"Exactly."

"Eric seems to have the knack of getting women that I'm interested in to risk their lives to help him."

That threw for a loop. "Who were the other women?"

"There was only one other woman." He hesitated before he spoke. "Sookie."

"What?" I was floored. "You mean his wife, Sookie?" This is bad. Really bad news. "You don't think he's interested in her, do you?"

Bill looked thoughtful for a moment. "No, he is not interested in her in that fashion. I've seen how he looks at Ally. He may think she's attractive, but that is as far as it goes. His heart belongs to Sookie. He would never betray her, for that I'm sure."

"Wow." Hearing Bill talk about his faith in the guy that his ex dumped him for. That was just too mature for me.

Bill looked at me for a moment. "I'd lost my claim on Sookie long before her and Eric really started. I lied to her and betrayed her trust. I am happy she has chosen to forgive me for all of the things I've done and in turn I wish her only happiness. Eric would never do to her what I had done."

I wonder what Big Bad he did to Sookie? What's more, he better not do that to Ally if he knows what's good for him.

"I learned my lesson. I was weak then, I thought I didn't have a choice. But I realized that everything I did was by my choice and my choice alone. I could have done things better with Sookie. I know that now. It's a mistake I will never make again."

"I'll keep you to that, Bill because if you ever hurt Ally like that, a stake to the heart is the least of your worries." I warned.

"I would deserve nothing less, Cole."

Okay, despite myself, I'm really starting to like this guy.

"Hey, do you want to hear what she did to me during sophomore homecoming?" He nodded and leaned in.

"Okay, I should have suspected something by the smile on her face when I pulled up..."

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1 1/2 months ago...

This was simply torture. How could I just look at her and wait? I had to do something. Standing up, I knocked Bill out of his trance. He had been reading to her off and on when we weren't otherwise engaged in conversation.

"I'm going to go for a drive." I said quickly. Then feeling slightly guilty, I offered, "Do you want to come along?" Please say no, please say no...

"No. Thank you for asking." he replied with a friendly smile. "I think I'll stay here in case she has any visitors."

I nodded and left as fast as I could without being obvious. I was jumping out of my skin. I hopped in my car and just started driving. I had no idea where I was going until I pulled into the parking lot.

Fangtasia.

I got out hesitantly, and walked among the throngs of people whose only goal was to get bitten. Amongst them were plenty of vampires who would willingly oblige them. I shook my head in disgust as I stepped into the line. Pam saw me and waved me over. I was actually shocked that she recognized me. I figured we all look the same to vampires. Most vampires anyway.

"What brings you here handsome?" she said smiling.

"Uh, I just wanted to take a break from the hospital. Is it okay if I hang around her office for a while? I kind of want to be around some of her things."

"If you wish familiarity, why her office? Why not her home?" she asked her blue gaze eying my every reaction. Ally mentioned that Pam seemed to find human behavior fascinating. I must be her new study subject.

"How a human behaves when the love of his life is in a coma, lesson 1..."

"I didn't want to invade her home." I didn't want to say what I really feared. I feared that I would totally lose it surrounded by so much of her things. Her clothes, her sheets, her perfume would be everywhere.

She nodded and let me pass. I went straight in to the back and walked to her office and sat down in her chair. She had pictures scattered in frames all around the desk. Some with her, Pam and Sookie. There were a couple with her and Bill. I started to get up when something caught me eye. Taped to the corner of her monitor was a picture of her and me at the beach. We were both glowing from the sun. It was a closeup of me with my chin on her shoulder and my arms wrapped around her, her hands holding me to her. We were smiling. I lifted the picture off the monitor and turned it over. "Me and Cole. One of the best days ever."

She must have had this picture up for a while. I started to shake. Tears ran down my face as I held the photo. I'm not sure how long I remained in that position. Eventually, I felt someone take the picture out of my hand.

"It's a good likeness of you two." said Pam.

I just nodded. Suddenly, I realized I was crying in front of a stranger and moved my hand to brushed off my tears. Pam beat me to it and...licked my face her eyes on mine as she did so.

"What are you doing?" I asked. I was shocked although I'm embarrassed to say that I was also aroused. I don't care who you are, if a nice and beautiful woman is licking you, you are going to get turned on. And she was always very nice to me, and very pretty.

"Vampires enjoy the taste of most human fluids. Blood is best of course but your tears are remarkably delightful. Why do you weep?"

That snapped me back to reality. "I just didn't think she thought of me."

"Did you doubt her sincerity when she confessed her having feelings for both you and Bill?"

"No. Never. I just thought that I loved her more than she loved me."

"Bill." she says rolling her eyes. "You are much different from Bill. I can't say I understand their connection but it is there. Plus, he seems much more interesting now. Must be Ally's influence." She nodded as if she was agreeing with herself. "The question is not Ally, but you. How do you love Ally? Do you love her because you are joined or because you want to be with her forever?"

"Do you think I'm with her because I'm obligated to her?"

"I think that you are a good man, Cole. I man who cares about Ally and wants to give her what you feel she wants- a hero. It is quite a satisfactory way to base a long standing relationship. There is trust and caring- perfectly acceptable qualities. I believe far too many human marriages are based on much less."

"You don't know what you are talking about."

She quirked an eyebrow at me. "Perhaps." she said handing me the picture and walking to door.

"You are welcome to stay as long as you want Cole."

And then she was gone.

I looked at the picture. We were so happy. I know that I loved her. She was the world to me. Pam could not be more wrong on this. I tried to shake the doubts from my mind. Taping the picture back on the monitor I got up and walked straight to my car.

I got in and headed home. As the distance grew I pressed harder on the gas pedal.

What does Pam know about love? She hadn't been human for a really long time, she knew nothing.

She hadn't a clue about how I feel.

Not a single clue.

I cursed her for the rest of the way home, knowing deep in my heart that Pam was absolutely right.

Damn her.

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2 Weeks Ago...

"Mmm. You are leaving so soon?" she said, her leg sliding against mine.

"Yes. I need to stop by the hospital." I said reaching over for my jeans. She was quiet and I could feel her eyes boring into my back.

"Please do not misunderstand me Cole. I care for Ally as well, but what is the purpose of your trip? It has been approximately two months and she remains unchanged."

I sighed. "I can't explain it, Pam. I just have to see her."

She reaches over and rests her cool hand on my arm. "You already visit her during the day. That is not enough?"

I turn to her. "How did you..."

She smiled softly. "You carry her scent with you every time you come back from your visits."

"I'm sorry. I just need to see her sometimes and I thought you'd be upset, so I figured the day time was best. I wasn't really trying to keep it from you."

She nodded. "What compels you? Guilt?"

I pull from her and get dressed. I really didn't need her psycho analysis bullshit right now.

"Cole?" Dammit, she spoke.

"What?" I shouted. "What do you want from me? I can't explain every motivation of my actions to you, okay? Why do I do anything when it comes to Ally?" I storm out of my house and slammed the door behind me.

By the time I pulled into the parking garage my temper had cooled a little. I now felt guilty for my outburst. Pam didn't mean to upset me. She was just asking a question and here I was yelling at her. I should be lucky to have such an understanding...lover? girlfriend? Most women would never tolerate their guy constantly needing to see their ex. I stick the key back into the ignition to go back and apologize when I heard a tapping on my window. I turned my head to see, who else?

Pam.

I opened the door slowly and got out. "I'm sorry, Pam. I had no right to yell at you like that." I said as I held her.

"What hold does she have on you, Cole? Why can't you just move on?" she asked in a voice I never heard before. She always spoke with such authority, such decisiveness it was very strange. If I hadn't known better, I would say that she was scared. Scared of what, I wonder?

I pulled back to look at her. "Pam?"

"Not a day goes by without you thinking of her. I thought you were happy with me. You seemed happy, and yet you can't stay away from her."

"You're...jealous?" I said dumbfounded.

"No. I'm merely concerned." she backtreaded regaining her composure.

I smiled and pulled her back in for a kiss. "You're sexy when you're jealous you know."

She gives me a dismissive look, but I see a slight smile on her lips.

"Ally and me, we're complicated. I know a part of it is love but I also think the other part is guilt. I feel guilty because I'm happy with someone else, with you, and she is lying there unaware of what's happened. How can I break it to her?"

"Does seeing her ease your guilt?"

"No, it actually makes it worse."

"Then let her go. If and when she awakens you can handle it then."

"She's going to wake up. I don't know when, but she will. I can't let her go. I want her in my life. Even if we end our romantic relationship, I still want to be able to see her, to talk to her. We've had a whole life together, I can't just kick that to the curb."

"It seems like you've already made your peace then."

"Yeah. It sure does." Why do I still feel like shit, then?

"Come, let's go visit Ally." she says to me, taking my hand.

Riding the elevator she says, "Cole?"

I turn to look at her.

"You make me happy too."

Ally wakens

I was kissing Pam when I felt it. It was like someone just shot a bolt of electricity through me. Clutching my chest I knew it could only be one thing.

Ally was awake.

I break from Pam and run out of Ally's office only to see Eric looking wide eyed. We both look each other. Did he just feel it too?

We both nodded to each other and hurried to our cars. I barely realized that Pam had gotten in with me. Driving to the hospital, I started to panic.

What was I going to say to her? "Hey, glad you're awake. By the way, I've fallen for someone else. You know, your friend, Pam?"

Did I just admit that I'd fallen for Pam? Shit, I just did.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I am such an asshole.

Pam puts her hand on my lap.

"Breathe, Cole. It'll all work out. You'll see."

God I hope she's right. Who am I kidding? She's always right.

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She looked as beautiful as ever as I ran to embrace her.

"Ally, I was so worried..."

"I didn't mean to worry you Cole. You know how I hate boredom, so I figured what the hey, a coma sounds like fun." I rolled my eyes at her.

"How've you been?" she asked me gently.

"Okay. I've been okay. I've missed you though." I said. Shit. Why can't I just say it? She deserves the truth.

"That's...good." she said slowly giving me a curious look.

"How long?" she asks squeezing my hand. Damn. She was always so perceptive.

"How did you...two weeks...it just happened, Ally...I'm sorry." Well technically, it's been a month but only the past two weeks since we'd shared a bed. I couldn't look at her face. What could she be thinking? She hates me, I know it.

"Would you all mind leaving me and Cole alone for just a moment?" she whispers.

As soon as the door closed, I blurted out, "You must think I'm a terrible person. I am. I am a terrible person."

"I would never think that of you Cole."

"What now? I don't want to lose you from my life." I waited for her to tell me to get out. I waited for her to start crying. I waited for her to say that she hated me forever. I braced myself for what I knew she was going to say.

"Does she make you happy?" she asked looking into my eyes. Totally did not expect her saying that.

"Yes, she does. I never thought that I could care for anyone else...yes, she makes me happy."

"Then I am happy for you." I can't believe it. She understood and is happy for me.

"Oh Ally." I say holding her. After all of these years, she never ceases to amaze me.

"We belong on two different paths you and I. I didn't want to admit it to myself but it's true. It became true the moment I met Bill and fell in love with him. You've made your choice and so have I."

A slight trickle of jealousy flowed through me for a second. I had no right to be jealous of course. I knew that she'd choose Bill in the end but it still hurts. I'm such a jerk. She just found out that I've been with someone else while she's been in a coma and I'm complaining. I really need to grow up.

"So we're okay?"

"Yes, we're okay. I'm happy for you and I hope you'll be happy for me."

"I am." I said. I truly was happy for her. She found someone who would always be true to her. As much as I hate to admit, Bill has grown on me. He really loves her. She and I were never meant to be. Not for the long haul anyway. We had some great times though and I wouldn't trade our friendship for anything. My chest felt lighter and allowed myself to truly feel for Pam. No more guilt. No more doubt. Only love. Ally's words had set me free.

As I leaned in to kiss her I said out loud and in my heart, "Thank you, Ally."

TBC