Author's notes: Sorry I haven't updated in a bit. Enjoy the chapter! Season finale tomorrow! Hope is doesn't suck!
Chapter 8
Morgan flung himself face first into the bed. The mattress was firm beneath him, but the blankets were soft and cool. He could not shake Reid's cries, begging him not to make him take the painkillers, out of his memory. Morgan wasn't sure he would ever get over that.
He sighed as he thought back to what Reid has said about not being able to do this job anymore. Profiling for the FBI can take the best years of your life, but Morgan had meant what he said. He just hoped Reid wasn't serious, and if he was, that he could change his mind.
He rolled over and pulled his cell phone from his belt and hit the speed dial.
"Finally!" Garcia's voice squeaked through the phone. "I have been waiting for you to call me all night! Hotch said boy wonder is doing better, but IS still pretty bad." She was speaking so quickly Morgan couldn't get a word in anyway. "How is? Is he ok? How does he look? What can I do? How are you? Did you get any sleep …"
"Baby girl!" Morgan stopped her mid sentence.
"Sorry," she took a deep breath. "How is he?"
"Well," Morgan began, "He could be better." He then walked her through the events of the previous night, every heart wrenching detail.
"Oh my gosh," Morgan could hear Garcia's heart breaking through her voice. "Why do these things always happen to him? He is one of the gentlest people I know, and he can't catch a break. I know we work for the FBI, but the things we deal with should never be considered as normal job hazards…" She sighed. "How are you?"
"I'm…"He was going to say fine, but that was a lie. "I'm hanging in there as best I can. I feel like I betrayed him somehow, I feel like I'm a lousy friend for wanting to talk him into staying at a job that nearly killed him…again."
"What can I do? I'm stuck here, still working, while you are all there essentially waiting bedside. What can I do to help?" She asked.
"There is something you can do, but it will take some time."
"Anything, I'm going nuts here by myself." She was ready and willing.
"Ok," Morgan began, "Here's what I want you to do."
Prentiss watched nonchalantly as the nurse checked Reid's vitals. Reid's fever was still low, and his pressure was steadily dropping. Prentiss eyed the floor when the nurse asked him if he was ready for another dose of morphine.
"Uh," his voice caught slightly, "I think I can wait a little longer."
The nurse smiled, "Ok, I'll be back in about an hour. If you need it before then, just press the button, ok. I'm going to have some food sent up and we'll see if you can keep it down."
"Thank you," Reid nodded his head gently, even though he wasn't the least bit hungry.
Prentiss picked at her thumb nail until the nurse left. She was trying to do as Hotch said, not to press the issues, to let him talk. It was hard not to speak her mind.
"You want me to get you a book or something from the gift shop?" She offered.
"No, thank you." He shrugged. "I'm too tired to read right now, and I have no idea where my contacts ended up. My glasses are back at the hotel." He rubbed his eyes, there was a headache brewing behind them and he prayed it wasn't a migraine.
"When did they start?" Prentiss figured she could nudge him along.
Reid sighed, "About 7 months ago." She waited silently, seeing if he would divulge any more information on his own. "They weren't as intense when they first started, but they have gotten worse lately."
"How long does one typically last?"
"A few days," His answer was short.
"You had one in Miami, didn't you?" She remembered the events and his behavior made a little more sense now as he nodded. "What do the doctors say?"
"They all say that I'm fine."
"But you're worried?" She ran her fingers through her hair.
"Of course I am." He let out a small laugh. "I have spent my entire life scared to death that I'm going to end of like my Mom, locked away in some mental institution. When JJ had Henry, I was happy for her, but sad in a way because I know I can't have that. I can't pass it along to them if I don't have children. Before I could live with that, but now it feels like that nightmare could come true any day, I'm just waiting for that bomb to drop."
"Listen," Emily leaned forward. "I can't tell you that you've got nothing to worry about. It is a real possibility that you could develop schizophrenia and I know that is scary, but you have to know that we are here for you no matter what happens. You are not alone in this."
There was a knock on the door frame; a young woman was peering in the open door.
"Excuse me," she stepped father into the room. "Are you Agent Reid?"
"Yes," Reid answered hesitantly.
"Oh good!" She marched quickly up to the side of the bed and extended her hand. "I'm Molly Grams, you may have heard of me. I'm the top reporter for the local paper and channel 6 news. I wanted to ask you a few questions." Reid visibly tensed.
"I'm sorry," Prentiss stood up, "He's not well, and we would appreciate it if you would let him get some rest." She motioned to the door.
"Oh, it won't take long!" She smiled and pulled out a tape recorder from her pocket. "Now, how did it feel to be held captive buy the Black Widow?"
"What? The Black Widow?" Reid yelped back, mouth hanging open.
"Ok, out!" Anger flared in Prentiss' chest.
"I'm merely trying to hear your side of the events." She held the tape recorder to Reid's mouth. "What drove her to murder all those men and almost kill you?"
"I have asked you nicely once." Prentiss was using her authoritative FBI no non-sense voice. "Now, I am telling you. Get out." She pushed Molly Grams to the door. "Security!" She called out in the hallway, "Escort this woman out."
"Why did it take so long for the FBI to get involved? How many lives could have been saved if you had stepped in sooner?" Molly Grams was a local legend as the reporter that could crack any story, and she had a whiff of what she thought was a big one. "The people deserve to hear the truth!" Prentiss remained silent and she passed her off the security officer outside Reid's room. "What will it look like when they people read 'no comment' from the FBI?"
"Here's your comment." Prentiss cocked her eyebrows. "You may be a local celebrity, but you're nobody to me. I better not find you anywhere near this room again."
Prentiss shook off her anger as she entered Reid's room. "I'm sorry," She tried to get Reid to look her in the eye.
"She wasn't a bad person." Reid studied his hands. "I mean, yes, she killed those men. They had raped woman and abused children, and they all got away with it. She was just…" He sighed. Prentiss took her seat. "She saved my life."
"I know," Prentiss wanted to reach for his hand, and hesitantly she did. He didn't shrink away. "You know what happened, and that's all that matters."
Reid wiped away a tear as it ran down his cheek. He smiled faintly, pulling his hand away. "Uh, do you think I could be alone for a few minutes?"
"I'll be just outside if you need me." Prentiss have his leg another reassuring squeeze and headed to the door.
"Emily," Reid called.
"Yeah?" She turned towards him.
"Could you send the nurse in?" He took a deep breath. "I think I'll take that dose of morphine now."
Prentiss studied his face; she couldn't tell if he wanted the drugs because he was in physical pain or if he wanted them to make the emotional pain go away. She decided that for right now, it didn't matter. "Sure."
Reid had spent most of the day either sleeping, or pretending to be asleep. The nurses had insisted that he try and eat something, but the few bites he was able to eat came up quickly, which left a burning ache in his chest. The doctor had ordered a chest X-ray to determine how many ribs were broken. Sean Masterson had managed to break 1 and severely bruise 2 others. The short trip to radiology had left him drained, so he was sound asleep when the team returned. It was late in the afternoon by the time they had found a hotel nearby and checked in.
Reid slowly surfaced into consciousness, but he didn't open his eyes. He could hear hushed voices.
"I think you should let me do most of the talking," Reid identified the voice as belonging to Hotch.
"Fine, but I have to say my peace. It is eating me up inside, what I said to him." Reid identified that voice as belonging to Morgan.
"I understand, but we have to approach the subject delicately." There was a pause in the conversation, then Hotch continued. "We need to keep a lid on this; if Strauss gets the slightest hint of the situation then she will have both mine and his badge on her desk before the end of the day."
"None of us will say anything." Morgan sounded shocked that Hotch would even suggest such a thing.
"It's not us I'm worried about." Reid heard someone shifting. "After you told me about the conversation you two had last night I wouldn't be surprised if he told her himself."
"You can't be serious?" Morgan's voice was a little louder than he had intended. Reid could tell they were waiting to see if he would wake up before they continued.
"I'm not saying he will, I'm just saying that by doing that Strauss would make the decision for him. He wouldn't have a choice about staying at the BAU. If he really is at the end of his rope, there may be nothing we can do that will convince him to stay." There was a deep sigh, "I couldn't convince Gideon."
Reid couldn't decide if he was hurt by Hotch's words, or if he agreed with him. Strauss could make the decision for him; it would take all the responsibility off his shoulders. Reid could use a little less weight on his shoulders right now.
A few moments later a nurse entered the room and started checking Reid's vitals, he took this opportunity to make a show of waking up. He was surprised to find that the sun had already gone down.
"How are you feeling?" The nurse asked.
"I actually feel a lot better." He said truthfully. "I think that last nap did me a lot of good."
"Good," She checked his blood pressure, which was almost back to normal and his fever was almost gone. "I'm going to give you another dose of morphine and muscle relaxers ok hun?"
"Uh," Reid cleared his throat. "Just the muscle relaxers, I'm going to hold off on the morphine for now." Even though his body was still screaming at him every time he moved, he wanted to try and manage the pain without the drugs. He had done it when he got shot in the leg, and he didn't want to fall back into that way of life. He had felt himself slipping after that reporter had gotten him riled up and he wanted to stomp it out now before he couldn't control it. After the nurse left he asked, "Where is everybody?"
"They're at the hotel." Morgan smiled, "They had seen enough of sleeping beauty for one day."
"How are you feeling?" Hotch asked.
"I honestly do feel better." Reid pulled himself into a sitting position. "I'm not going to be busting down any door anytime soon, but I feel better than yesterday. I'll leave the door busting to Morgan anyway."
"Good," Hotch replied. "I spoke with your doctor, and he said that if all goes well tomorrow, he will release you Friday morning. We'll have the jet here ready to go as soon as you give the word."
"I would fly home right now if we could." Reid smiled. "We can head straight to the airport from here as far as I am concerned."
"I'll make the arrangements." Hotch shifted in his seat. "Now, we need to talk." Reid opened him mouth to say something but Hotch interrupted him. "You just listen for now, and then you can say whatever you want." Reid nodded. "We're not going to dance around the subject this time; we don't have that luxury anymore. You have a drug problem, and the events of the last couple days hasn't helped with that I'm sure, but I'm not the one that knows when you need to go to a meeting. I'm not the one who knows when you are having a craving, you are. You are the only one who knows, but I can tell you this; we are your friends and we know when you are struggling. We will be there for you, but you have to tell us when it is too much for you. If I need to drive you to a meeting myself at 2:00 in the morning, I will."
"Now, how long have you been keeping the headaches from us?" Hotch waited for him to respond. Reid was trying to decide if Prentiss had already told him or if she had kept his confidence. He decided she had.
"Seven months."
"I understand having privacy, but when your secrets endanger your life and the lives of those closest to you that is unacceptable. I let what you did in Miami slide when I probably shouldn't but that's on me. It was stupid what you did, and I have to be able to trust you to do all you can to keep yourself safe." Reid winced; he knew Hotch was right. It was stupid of him to go into that house without telling anyone where he was going. He felt small and embarrassed. "We all know what these headaches mean to you and that you are worried. We really do care about you."
"I understand if you need to take some time, no one would think less of you if you did. This team can't lose another person; it's hard enough as it is after losing JJ. We can't lose you too. When we get back to Quantico I will take care of getting you the time you need. If you are serious about leaving, please do not make your decision until after you take some time off. Will you at least do that?"
Reid looked up at his boss. "Ok, I'll take some time."
"Good," Hotch straightened his tie. "We don't want to smother you, but until you are back on your feet one of us will be with you at all times."
"On second thought," he smiled, "I may ask for that transfer as soon as we get home."
"Come on," Morgan swatted the side of the bed, "You know Garcia would stop any paperwork dead in its tracks and make it disappear." He turned to Hotch, "Do you think you could give us a minute? I need to talk to Reid alone."