Author's note: I am so sorry it has taken me this long to update the story. I won't go into it all, but I have been dealing with some health issues lately and haven't been in the mood to write. Updates may not be as timely as they were before, but I do promise that I WILL finish the story. Hope you enjoy this next chapter. It isn't as polished as I would like it to be, but I wanted to post something for you guys.

Chapter 12

Morgan was stretched out on the couch, phone in hand trying to pass the time until it was a reasonable hour to try and get some sleep. If he tried right now, he would be in the old people and kid bedtime frame and that was just not acceptable.

He was alone with Reid for now, Garcia had left after they had eaten diner. She had made good on her promise to fatten Reid up with a meal that left Morgan completely satisfied. Reid had showered and crawled into bed an hour earlier.

Morgan sighed as he pondered Strauss' motivation behind the team evaluations she had ordered. It made sense for Reid to have one, that was FBI protocol, but why was the rest of the team being evaluated? Was she just showing concern for the team, or was she using this as an opportunity to make some changes?

A knock at the door pulled Morgan from his thoughts. He rose from the couch and crossed the room to the front door and checked through the peep hole. A smile curled his lips as he opened the door.

"Well, well. Look at you."

"Can I come in?" She smiled back.

"Of course." Morgan pulled her into his arms for a hug.

They were crawling all over his body. They were in his hair, in his clothes, biting him. His blood was pumping in his ears, each beat louder than the one before. He reached for her hand, her fingers cold as ice. Her eyes stared at him, deep into his soul.

"Why won't you save me?" Her voice was hollow, distant.

He tried to speak, but his throat was constricted, he began gasping for air.

"I trusted you. Why didn't you save me?" She shouted.

He watched as her eyes turned dead and he hand went slack in his.

Reid shot up in bed, gasping for air. He ran a shacking hand over his face as he took in his surroundings. He was not on that dirty floor in the warehouse, he was in his apartment. He was in his bed.

He cursed as he flipped on his bedside lamp, allowing the light to chase away the fog of his nightmare. His skin was covered in a thin layer of sweat and he couldn't shake that feeling of being covered in spiders. The memory of their tickling legs lingered on his skin.

He tried to slow his breathing down, tried to keep his heart from bursting out of his chest. He stared up at his ceiling, waiting.

Once the blood stopped pounding in his ears, he registered voices in the living room. Garcia had left for the night. Who was Morgan talking too? Reid pulled his body from the twisted, soaked sheets, stumbling slightly as his feet hit the floor. He leaned close to his bedroom door and listened, it was defiantly a female voice.

Rossi sipped at his drink. It was a very nice Scotch he had bought himself for his birthday a few months before. He had been seated in his living room next to a fire place that was void of any flames. He had a book in his lap, but it has sat unopened the entire time he had been sitting there. His mind had been wandering for the past hour or so, contemplating recent events. He drained his glass, the warm liquid inside had made his head feel a bit fuzzy, the effect he was going for.

He pulled himself from his chair and made his way across the room to the bar. He paused when he passed some of the photos hanging on the wall. There were photos of family and friends here and there, but mixed among them was a photo of the BAU team at the previous year's Christmas party. They were all laughing at something, Rossi could quit remember what, Reid could probably tell him. They all seemed so happy in that moment. His phone rang, breaking the empty silence he had been enjoying the entire evening.

Rossi picked up the bottle of Scott, ready to fill his glass again, but he sighed when he felt how light the bottle was. He set the glass down, empty and headed upstairs and ignored the phone that was ringing as he went. He had had enough for one night.

"Spence." Her voice was small as her wide eyes took in his shambled appearance. He uncrossed his arms and twisted the legs of his pajamas in his hands, not meeting her gaze as he stood in the hall.

JJ crossed the room and placed her soft hands on his elbows, gently pulling his arms around her. She didn't squeeze too hard, but she held him firmly. Reid allowed himself to relax in her arms. "I'm so glad you're alive." She said softly, her lips near his ear. They stayed that way for a while, not moving. Morgan slipped out the front door to give them some privacy.

Reid was the first to pull away. His need to sit down outweighed his desire to be hugged. JJ let him go but followed him to the couch and left a comforting hand on his arm. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Reid glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was Henry's bedtime and felt guilty.

JJ caught him eyeing the clock and said softly, "Don't worry about Henry. Will is taking care of bedtime tonight." Reid forced his lips into a small smile. "You know," She shifted on the couch, "It might help to talk about it. How you're feeling. What you're thinking."

Reid didn't want to talk about it.

JJ continued, "Look, Hotch called." Reid's head snapped up. "You probably already figured that Strauss would order a psyche evaluation." Reid realized that he hadn't even thought about it, but he wasn't surprised. He hated talking to FBI psychologists. It was easy enough to answer all the questions correctly to get a "pass", but the actual talking made him uncomfortable. "You'll be fine, but it might be better for you if you talk with someone you're comfortable with before going in and talking to …."

"A shrink?" He interrupted.

"Well, "She paused, then smiled a small smile, "Yeah, a shrink." She continued. "Look, Spence, Hotch told me what happened, but why don't you tell me something?" Her piercing blue eyes saw right into him. "I just want to make sure you're all right." She waited, then added a sweet, "Please?"

"I uh," He fumbled with his words, "I uh…" He finally looked her in the eye and said. "I was sure I was going to die."

Dr Noah Carter was reviewing the case files he had been sent on the couch in his home study. He worked for the FBI doing psych evaluations wherever he was needed. Strauss had sent him copies of the entire team's files so he could be well acquainted with them before he started the evaluations on Monday morning. His job is to asses an agent's mental capacity to determine if they are fit for duty.

He held the file for Agent Spencer Reid in his hands. He was impressed; Agent Reid had graduated high school at an early age and furthered his education at Caltech. He held a PhD in Chemistry, Mathematics, and Engineering. He also held a BA in Psychology, Sociology and had just recently completed another BA in Philosophy. He was considered a genius on many levels, but it appeared he had some issues with social skills on occasion.

His eyes glanced down and his eyes caught on the list of injuries he had sustained in the line of duty. He had been abducted and held captive for 2 days where he suffered cardiac arrest, he had been assaulted several times, he had been shot, and farther through the file he saw that Reid had been involved in a murder investigation of a child from his childhood neighborhood. There were some other incidents listed, but they were classified. He flipped through the file until he came to the report from Agent Reid's last psych evaluation. The notes were adequate at best, there weren't that many.

"Agent was able to answer all questions to satisfaction… He is not showing any signs of distress or PTSD at this time… He can be released for field duty."

He was surprised that he wasn't showing any signs of PTSD after experiencing such an ordeal. He had seen a lot of agents get pulled from the field after experiencing less severe trauma. Either Agent Reid was really good at covering up his emotions or he was very tough. The photo that was clipped to the front of the file made him think that Agent Reid wasn't a rough guy.

Dr Carter threw the file on the coffee table in front of him. He perched his feet up on the table and laid his head back on the couch and closed his eyes. These evaluations were going to be rough, he could feel it.

Prentiss parked her car on the street in front of Reid's building. She grabbed the box from the seat next to her and climbed out. She stopped short at the steps and found Morgan perked on the steps leading to the entrance.

"Hey," She called as she stooped to sit next to him.

"Hey," He replied. "What you doing here?"

"Oh," She sighed, "I thought you might want a break." She lifted up the box in her lap, "I brought doughnuts."

"Oh wow." Morgan smiled as he pulled the box from her hand and opened it, selecting from the contents within. "Thanks Prentiss."

They sat in silence for a few moments, and then she asked. "How is he?"

"Well," Morgan said around bites of a chocolate glazed doughnut, "He got really sick last night with a migraine. He's been having nightmares. He's moody and closed off. About how you would expect him to be."

Prentiss sighed, "Right." She shifted herself then asked, "How are you doing with all of this?"

Morgan swallowed, "Well, Hotch said not to worry but the team evaluations Strauss ordered has me a little worried."

"Wait," Emily's ear perked, "She ordered evaluations for ALL of us?"

"Yeah," Morgan looked at her. "Hotch didn't tell you?"

"No," She looked at him as she pulled out her phone. "Oh, wait…Yes he did. Missed call about an hour ago. I had it on silent." She huffed as she pushed it back in her pocket. "I'm sure it's nothing and that's not what I meant."

"What?" Morgan looked at her blankly.

"How are you doing with Reid?" She watched his eyes as he formulated an answer.

"Truthfully?" He began, "I just feel like a broken record. I've had this conversation with Hotch and Garcia, and now you." He sighed, "Truthfully I'm scared. I'm scared he might not make it through this. I mean, he could have died and now we are just supposed to make sure he comes back to work because this team can't lose him? I'm supposed to do that? What kind of friend, person, does that make me? I'm supposed to watch him battle with this, and if he makes it through this, what am I supposed to do? Just wait until the next time?" He pushed on. "How could I not see how sick he was before all this happened? Last night he could barely stand that headache was so bad. I feel like I've let him down in so many ways."

"Derrick," Emily's hand found a place on his arm. "Look, Reid will make it through this. He is so strong, and we will all be here to help him, not just you. None of us knew what was going on, Reid hides things very well. "

Morgan sighed, "And," she continued, "he knows the risks of this job, probably better than anyone because he can quote you every statistic and handbook there is."

Morgan smiled a bit.

"See," She bumped him. "He's gonna be fine. And as far as him coming back to work, we will just have to wait and see what happens. He has to be out of the field for at least 2 weeks anyway before he will be cleared physically, maybe longer. He may not feel the same way about it then as he does now."

Morgan shook his head. "I don't know. He's…off. He's in a lot of pain, physically and emotionally and he won't talk to me about it."

"Well, maybe he needs some time," She rose to her feet. "Or doughnuts." She smiled. "Come on, let's go inside."

"Well," Morgan pulled himself up. "JJ is up there with him, I wanted to give them some privacy."

"JJ's here?" Prentiss asked.

"Yeah, she got here about 20 minutes ago."

"Well," Prentiss smiled. "If anyone can get Reid to talk, it's JJ."

"I looked in the barrel of that gun," His voice was soft. "I looked in the barrel of my own gun and was absolutely sure that I was going to die."

JJ's eyes watered, but she held back the stinging in her throat as he continued. "I closed my eyes, and just waited." He was quiet for a few minutes. "Then, everything went cold. I didn't hear anything, I didn't feel anything. I just waited." He cleared his throat. "I heard the shot, waited for the pain, but there was nothing. I thought I was dead. I didn't even realize what had happened until I opened my eyes." His voice broke, and he cleared his throat. "He was covering her. I crawled over to them and pulled him off of her. She was gasping for air…"Reid took a deep breath, "I…I…can't anymore."

"What?" JJ asked.

"I can't do this anymore." He ran a hand over his face. "I'm sorry JJ. I can't talk about this right now."

"Spence," JJ touched his knee. "It's ok. Can I get you anything? Can I do something for you?"

"No," He answered automatically.

"Spence," she inched closer to him. "Please let me help you."

He closed his eyes, "Can we just sit?"

"Of course." JJ whispered. Reid laid his head back against the couch and took a deep breath and reached for her hand. She squeezed it tightly and listened to his breathing slow and then even out to the almost silent breathing that only sleep can bring.