Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious

AN- I know I haven't uploaded in a long time and I apologize! My computer broke and I had it fixed. But in the mean time, I wrote on my journal! And I tried to make this really long.

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Jade's POV

Ever woken up with such anger in you heart that it hurts? Well I have and I don't know why but I have this empty feeling inside of me. Its just an empty space that keeps getting bigger and bigger every day. And that empty space is filling up with anger and hatred. All my anger and hatred keeps rising up and all I want to do is scream my lungs out. Scream until my throat burns and I'm coughing up blood. Everyone that comes near me just angers me. I can't tolerate them anymore, not like before. Just seeing them pisses me off, their all happy and smiling. It makes me sick. I get even more sick when I look at the mirror and see my reflection. I look pathetic and worthless. I make it so easy for anyone to touch me, don't I? That's why James raped me, because I made it fucking easy for him. I deserved it, didn't I? I asked for it...and that angers me. I was so, so stupid. Then the sudden rush of anger comes into me again. And I have to bite my lip to stop me from screaming out in frustration. It's to the point where I want to grab the god damn scissors and slit my wrist. But I won't, I will not let my anger take over me...not yet at least. Just let me fight what ever is making me like this. Let me at least try to overcome it.

"Jade, are you ready?" I heard a voice say. I shot a look towards the bedroom door. There she is, Tori Vega. Must be fun to be her, her life is oh so perfect. She has a great family, amazing friends, she's talented and pretty. And it sickens me. Then I feel guilty because she's helped me so much. I should be thanking her but something inside of me wants to hate her. I envy her...

"Jade?" She said, I focused back on her.

"I'm going." I said a bit rough than I meant it to be. She looked taken back but she just smiled and nodded. I followed her down the stairs and into her car.

"I can't believe its the last day of school! I so can't wait until next year! I am so making senior year all about me. And I'll get the lead in every play!" Trina exclaimed. Even she has something to look forward to. All I want to look forward to is death. Wow, I'm becoming more depressed. I thought I was over this stage. I was finally getting back on my feet, I was going to get James in jail...whoa did I just say was? No, I am going to...I will put him in jail. I'm sounding more pessimistic. But if anyone wanted me to be happy go lucky, then they would have to teach me to be happy after getting abused. But if no one can teach me how to, then they shouldn't expect anything from me.

I felt the car stop and looked around. Hollywood Arts, what a nice school it would be if it did not have a rapist as a student. I hesitated before getting out of the car. I walked as fast as I could into the building. I didn't bother waiting for Tori. I just needed to get to class and stay away from all those smiling faces from students who were overly excited that school was going to end. I didn't lurk around in the hallways so I wouldn't risk bumping into James.

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. Tori's POV

Jade hasn't even looked at me at all today. And when she spoke to me, her words were so dull and empty. Before I even turned off the car, she practically ran away.

"What's wrong with her?" Trina asked as we were getting out of the car.

"I don't know...maybe its her hormones." I mumbled, starring at the direction that she took off in.

"Well, word of advice, don't smoother her. Give her space." She said. I looked at her.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly.

"Every time something is wrong with her, you get all worried. And then you start asking her about her problems. You don't let her breathe. Don't worry to much, ok?" She told me before smiling and taking off. It's funny though, one, that was actually good advice coming from Trina. And also that's what Andre told me yesterday. He said to let her breathe. Am I really smothering her? I don't mean to, I just worry. Is that so bad?

I grabbed my bad and walked to the school. I kept looking around for any signs of Jade but I got none. All I saw was students laughing and talking and singing or dancing. Typical things like always. Looking defeated I went to my locker and began to put books away.

"Hey there, Tori" Andre said, suddenly appearing and leaning next to my locker. I groaned and shut it close.

"Someone's in a grouchy mood today. What's wrong?" He asked with a small laugh.

"Jade's acting all strange and moody. She looks all angry and I swear when she walked passed me I got a sudden rush of chills up my spine." I explained.

"She was always like that before what happened to her. Maybe its a sign that she's getting back to being herself again."

"No, I don't think so. She...i saw hatred in her eyes. When she looked at me, I saw nothing but anger and hatred in her eyes. This is something beyond herself." I said trying to convince him something was wrong.

"Well you know, she is stressed out. I mean, she has her trail coming up in 5 days. She's probably scared and nervous." He told me. I looked down and then back at him.

"I guess..." I spoke softly.

"Its either that or its her hormones. She is pregnant you know. And when girls get knocked up they get all moody and start PMSing for like nine months." He said jokingly. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Really Andre? I went to health class too, I know how it works. But I still don't think that's it." I protested.

"Just don't read too much into it." He said. I was about to begin to protest again but the bell rang. I waved him good bye and I went to class. Just as I was about to enter my class, I caught of glimpse of Jade. Or at least I think it was Jade. I just saw a dark shadow turn the corner. The only person who wears all black is Jade, maybe I should go check it out. Just to make sure. Wait, no! I can't, Andre and Trina told me not to smother her so I won't.

I shook my thoughts away and went to class. I smiled as I walked up to Cat and Beck.

"Hey guys." I greeted. They turned to me and smiled.

"Hey, I didn't see you this morning!" Cat said.

"Yeah, I didn't get to see you wither." Beck said.

"Oh, sorry we came her only a couple minuted before the bell. I talked to Andre though but then the bell rang. And now I'm here." I told them.

"Oh, so how's Jade?" Beck asked. I swallowed hard. Should I tell him what I think about her? But I don't want to stress him out. But then again he is her boyfriend so he should probably know. Ugh! This is too confusing!

"Tori?" He said bringing me back from my thoughts.

"Oh right. Um, she's fine. We didn't talk much, she went to class." I lied. We partly lied. Its true that we didn't talk and she might have gone to class, not sure. But regardless of what Andre said, she is not fine. He was going to speak again but Mr. Thapar entered the classroom. So we all got in out seats and the lesson began. He just talked about how we should all study over summer break. But no one could care less about that. And he knew we didn't care so he let us do what ever we wanted to do. It was the last day of school anyways so we won't learn anything. I sort of did wish for him to teach, that way I wouldn't be able to talk to Beck.

"So, I was thinking that we should all go get ice-cream after school! You know, to celebrate school ending!" Cat cheered. Her eyes sparkled in the light. She gets over excited with sweets.

"Yeah, sounds good. I'll text Jade and ask her." Beck said taking out his phone. I heard his fingers clicking the buttons on his phone.

"I'll ask Andre." I told her as I, too, got out my phone and began to text him.

"Ok! And I'll text Robbie." Cat said happily. I nodded and looked at my phone

To: Andre

Hey wanna get ice cream w/ me, n the gang?

I looked back up at them. And then my phone vibrated.

To: Tori

Sure. Meet u after skool

I smiled and shut my phone.

"Andre said yes." I told them.

"So did Robbie and Rex." Cat spoke. We looked at Beck.

"I don't know, Jade hasn't replied yet." He said a bit worried. That's weird, she always replies to him immediately. I looked away, maybe there is something wrong with her. When I looked back at them, their eyes were glued to me.

"W-what?" I asked nervously. Beck eyed me suspiciously.

"What do you know?" He asked. I swallowed hard.

"Nothing. I don't know anything." I replied.

"Yes you do, you always know what's going on. Like that one time, where I asked you where Jade was. You said you didn't know yet you did know where she was." He said. Um...what do I say to that?

"She probably hasn't replied because she doesn't have her phone." I lied. Good one, right?

"She left it uncharged yesterday and it died on her. She probably left it at home charging." I added. Ok so I lied but I..i don't know! I just don't want to worry him. And I know that if I do then he'll go after Jade and she'll get even more stressed out and it would all be my fault!

I heard him sigh.

"Fine, I have her next period anyways, I'll just ask her then." He said. I smiled.

"So, what now? I'm getting bored." I said.

"Oh! One time when I got bored I started singing really loudly. So loud that I broke my mom's vase and she got really angry at me. But then it turned out that I didn't break it and that it was my brother who throw a ball at it and made it tip over and break. So now when I get bored, I don't sing. I hum instead." She explained her story with a smile on her face. Beck and I exchanged looks. There is something odd about Cat but its that oddness that makes her lovable.

We spent most of the time talking about random stuff and time went by. Soon the bell rang and we went to our next class.

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. Tori's POV

I had second period with Andre and Robbie. And again, our teacher let us just hang out and talk.

"So what ice cream parlor are we going to?" Robbie asked.

"Not sure, I think we're going to Ice- Cream Plaza. The one next to the bakery shop. Cat likes that one because they also sell red velvet cupcakes." I explained. I felt my hip vibrate. Its Beck, wonder what he wants.

To Tori: Can't find Jade where is she?

I held my breath for a second and then exhaled. Crap...

"You ok?" Andre said, I looked at them and they were staring at me."

"Who is it?" Robbie asked.

"I-I'm fine. Its Beck, he just wants to know where Jade is." I admitted. I focused back on the phone and pressed reply.

To Beck:

Don't know srry. I dropped her off skool. Haven't seen her

I shut the phone and put it away. Where could she have possibly gone?

"Why the worried look on your face?" Robbie asked.

"It's nothing. Its just that Jade isn't in class with Beck. I-I just don't know where she is, that's all." I told them. My pocket vibrated, it's Beck again.

To Tori:

she won't pick up her cell. R u sure u don't know where she is?

To Beck:

I'm sorry but I really don't. I'll try txtin her

I searched for her number and sent her a quick text asking where she was. As I pressed the send button, my phone got snatched away.

"You're still in school, Ms. Vega, and that means no phones!" My teacher yelled as she walked away with my phone. I groaned. I need it! What if they reply!

"Looks like the evil mistress took her prey!" Rex said. I glared at him...it.

"Don't worry, you can see Beck in class next period. You can talk to him then." Andre responded sounding a bit sad.

"I know! But he really needs me right now! And I really need to talk to him!" I complained. I looked at Andre, he looked down. Did I say something wrong? The rest of the period was spent with Rex and Robbie talking. I kept on looking at Andre. What did I say?

The bell finally rang after a long and boring class. I ran up to my teacher and she gave me back my phone. She was going to give me a "talk" about using a phone in school but I snatched it and I walked as fast as I could to get to class. I forgot about Andre, he's also in this class with me. As I walked into the class room, I spotted Beck sitting on a desk and texting. I sighed in relief as I walked up to him.

"So, she responded?" I asked as I took a seat next to him. He looked up at me and shook his head.

"I'm sending her another text message. She won't respond to any of my messages. I tried calling her and it only rang once before going straight to voice mail. She keeps ignoring my calls." He explained. I sighed, I don't know what to do. The bell rang and class began. But like the rest of my classed we did nothing. I glanced the room for Andre and I saw him talking to Melissa. I frowned a bit.

"Don't worry, he doesn't like her." Beck suddenly said. I jumped slightly when he spoke. I looked at him.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. He chuckled.

"I saw the way you glared at Melissa. But I can tell you that he does not like her at all. He likes...someone else." He said. Is that suppose to be a hint?

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." I replied. He rolled his eyes and playfully patted my head.

Then he looked at his phone and he frowned. Still no reply.

"What about, we go to my house and look for her there? She always goes home when she doesn't want to be here." I suggested.

"Sure, we can go right after class ends." He agreed. I nodded. I have a bad feeling in my gut but I just wish everything to be alright. This isn't like Jade at all. She was doing so well and now she's breaking again. But if she does break, I'm here to pick up the pieces. And Becks here to put the pieces back together. I know, we were never good friends but ever since I found out what happened, we've become close. And I want to be there for her. She needs someone to lean on right now, and I want to be that person. I want her to know that I'm here for her. Ha, it sounds like I'm in love with her. But no, that's Beck's job. I'm just here to be her friend.

"Tori." Beck said. I looked at him.

"Oh, right, sorry." I said to him. But I was too distracted to actually pay attention.

"Your hip keeps vibrating." He said. I took out my phone. It was a text message from Jade.

To Tori: LEAVE ME ALONE

I looked at the phone for a long time in disbelief.

"Who is it?" He asked. I looked at the phone then at him. He should know...

With all my will power, I showed him the phone. I heard him sigh and he gave me back the phone. I wanted to say something but I had nothing to say.

"Beck..." I began. But nothing else came out.

"I need to talk to her." He whispered. I nodded.

"I think she's at home. We'll go right after class." I told him.

"Go where?" A voice from behind us asked. We turned around and saw Andre standing there.

"Oh, um, we're going to my house." I said. He looked at Beck.

"What about Jade?" He asked looking directly at Beck.

"We're going there to see her. She's at home. She left early." Beck explained.

"Oh..." Was all Andre said.

"You can come if you want." I offered but he shook his head.

"Nah, I need to talk to Robbie." He said. I smiled and nodded. I looked at the clock and saw it was only a minute till the bell r- oh wait. There it is. The bell just rang.

I grabbed my bag and walked with Beck through the crowded hallways. As I turned the corner, I bumped into Cat.

"Oh, sorry Cat!" I apologized.

"Where are you going? Sikowitz class is that way." She said.

"Um, we're going to my house...to look for Jade." I explained.

"Why? What's wrong with her?" She asked worried.

"Look Cat, we really need to go." I told her.

"Can I come?" She asked. I hesitated but nodded. We ran to my car before any teacher could see us.

I started the car and drove off.

"So can you tell me now? What's wrong with Jade?" Cat asked from the backseat.

"Beck, tell her. I'm driving!" I said as I kept my eyes on the road.

"Jade is acting all strange. She didn't show up to class and she won't reply my texts. She ignores my calls and she sent a text to Tori telling her to leave her alone." He explained.

"We're just going to make sure she's ok." I said.

"So she told you she was at home?" Cat asked.

"No, we're just assuming. She usually comes home when she's not at school." I replied. IN less than 5 minutes we were at my house. I parked the car in the drive way...wait!

"She's not her." I suddenly say. Beck and Cat look at me.

"How do you know?" Beck asked.

"We keep her car in the driveway because we use my car instead. But her car's gone!" I said. I got out of the car and ran to the house, with Beck and Cat following. I opened the door, everything seemed like it was.

"Let's check her room." Cat said, making her way upstairs. We followed her and I knocked on her door. When she didn't respond I opened the door. My mouth dropped when I saw her room. It was empty. Her drawers were opened and empty. Her bed was all neat and her closet door was opened. I went directly to her closet. It was empty. Her suitcases were gone, her clothes, shoes...everything. It was all gone. I turned around and saw Beck sitting on the bed. He was clutching something in his hand. Cat was standing still by the door. I walked to Beck and sat beside him. I to a hold of his hand and grabbed what he had clutched. It was a letter.

Dear Tori,

I know you'll probably wonder where the hell I went, but I needed to leave. I can't keep being around you. I dropped all charges against James. He wins, ok? I know I was suppose to fight but I'm weak. I'm not strong like you want me to be. I am not that person. And I don't want to be. I'm sorry. Don't call. I won't answer. Don't look for me. You won't find me. Don't remember me. I want to fade from your memories.

Jade

I closed the letter and looked at Beck. She's gone. And I don't know where she went. Why though? Why would she leave? I could have helped her... I looked back at Beck. His eyes had tears in them. He didn't want to cry, but he couldn't hold it back. His love just ran away from him. Without warning. B

"We'll fine her. Don't worry..." I whispered.

AN- so? did you like it? Tell me? Next chapter we learn what happened and why she left! please review