Hello, and welcome to the third chapter in the story of perfect Rosalyn, as written by Crane Yank and Christian Jaw. We apologize profusely because it was so slow in updating, but here it is!

Enjoy! We do not own Death Note, but we DO own Rosalyn…

Have fun reading, guys. Remember, if you give us a good review, you'll get in the story!

The birds chirped as Rosalyn perfectly fluttered her eyelashes open.

She sat up perfectly in the most perfect way and perfectly rubbed her eyes, and her vision perfectly cleared up. She stretched perfectly and perfectly looked around her, her perfect memories rushing perfectly to her perfect head.

Okay. Done with the perfects. At least for now.

Light sat beside the bed, staring at Rosalyn with his creepy face. Rosalyn smiled back, not sure as to how to respond to his alarming expression.

"Good morning," whispered Light. He sniffed something out of his hand.

"What are you sniffing?" asked Rosalyn politely, her voice crystal clear even after just waking up.

"Your hair," he said without hesitation, as if this was the only way to charm the ladies. He opened his palm, and in there was a lock of Rosalyn's hair.

"Wonderful," exclaimed Rosalyn, although her face looked a bit disgusted and frightened. Not to say that her face wasn't in a perfect expression. Her face radiated the most perfect expression of being disgusted and frightened, but not in a bad way, because she was perfect. She turned and placed her feet on the floor. Immediately, Sayu and Mrs. Yagami burst into the room, each holding a tray of food.

"Here, Rosalyn," said Sayu breathlessly, thrusting a tray holding the most delicious delicacies of Japan into Rosalyn's lap. "We spent all night debating about what you would like to eat, and we didn't sleep a wink."

"Oh..." murmured Rosalyn, taking a nibble of a cake perfectly. "How much did it cost?", she asked,worried these two women would blow off so much money on her.

"Oh, nothing, dear!" tittered Mrs. Yagami rather hysterically, while also thrusting a tray of food into Rosalyn's arms. "Only next year's paycheck -- anything for you, Rosalyn!"

"No!" cried Rosalyn in a perfectly perfect expression of horror. "No! I can't ask you to do this for me!" And with that, she whipped out several thousand yen bills from nowhere. "Here," she said, "Arigatou." And she threw the wads of bills into the arms of the two women, who were dumbstruck that not only was this girl perfectly perfect, she could generate money from thin air. Light looked at her, star struck. And put on his creepy face again, involuntarily. Rosalyn is amazing… I must make her my wife today!

Light strode into the Touto building and held the door open for Rosalyn, who stepped in perfectly. Everyone's attention immediately snapped to the perfect girl whose perfect presence brought a sort of perfect radiance to the room.

Ryuzaki sucked on a Ring Pop in his chair, staring at Rosalyn in a very intense way.

"EEP!" squealed Misa, who was somehow in the room before Light. She glomped Rosalyn, who smiled awkwardly-but-perfectly. Rosalyn patted Misa on the back, and Misa involuntarily burst into tears for having been embraced by this awesome, perfect being.

This is my chance! thought Light, heart pounding and blood thundering in his ears. I... I must do it now!

"I have an announcement to make," announced Light in a most announcing way. He turned to Rosalyn and took her hand with a very, very serious expression.

Light knelt before Rosalyn and pulled out a ring from his pocket. "Rosalyn," he began. Silence followed his words; everyone held their breath in anticipation. "You know I love you. Will you marr-"

Ryuzaki stood up abruptly. "NO," he roared, once he realized what Light was trying to do. He, too, knelt before Rosalyn and held out his Ring Pop (but not before shoving Light out of the way). "Rosalyn! My angel! Marry me instead!"

At once, Light clawed Ryuzaki across the face. It quickly turned into a catfight, involving plenty of hissing, scratching, shirt ripping, and hair-pulling (not to mention random Lolita Neko Girl noises).

Rosalyn backed (perfectly!) to the wall, and burst into perfect tears, clearly frightened by the vicious acts of intentional murder being done before her virgin eyes. "Stop! Stop fighting!" she cried perfectly, her face the perfect picture of a perfectly tragic heroine, and began to weep perfectly into her perfect hands. Mogi and Misa rushed to her assistance immediately, comforting her with silent words of... well, comfort.

Light and Ryuzaki did not stop clawing at each other. On the contrary, they had taken up a battle of rock - paper - scissors... a battle of epic proportions, one that could nearly rival that of the legendary showdown between Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee.

"ROCK!" yelled Light.

"PAPER!" screamed Ryuzaki.

And together, they shrieked, "SCISSORS!" and brought down their hands at the exact same moment. The force of their ear blasting, high pitched squeals of deep dark hatred caused the delicate wine cups containing Ryuzaki's drinks (which were composed purely of sugar and water, but mostly sugar) to break, scattering glass shards all over the room. It flew everywhere, and light reflected off of them, making the room seem like a messed up disco ball.

Suddenly, time seemed to slow. Everyone flinched instinctively from the sound of shattering glass; Mogi and Misa both dove to protect Rosalyn from the deadly shards.

But Rosalyn, in all her perfect glory, leapt in front of the two. I can't let them sacrifice themselves for me! she thought epically. And she grabbed hot pink nunchucks (from nowhere, of course) and perfectly blocked all the shards of glass that came their way. The deadly pieces clattered onto the ground with a jolly ruckus as Rosalyn deflected them once and once again, her dark hair flowing behind her as she whipped back and forth, protecting Mogi and Misa from danger! And all Mogi and Misa could do was clutch each other in amazement, cowering, as this perfect girl saved their lives! Her nunchucks flew right, then left! And then... up! And… down! With each swing of her nunchucks, another piece of glass met its unfortunate fate. But alas! if only I were a piece of glass, that I could shatter by the hands of perfect, perfect Rosalyn.

The overall effect was very dramatic.

Meanwhile, Light and Ryuzaki had both played scissors, heavy scowls imprinted upon their angry, angry faces.

"Stop," whispered Rosalyn, whose nunchucks had vanished and all signs of heroic valor had been replaced by a ferocious meekness. Her red eyes blazing, sparkling, a fierce look on her perfect face. "I will not tolerate this madness. Both of you... you're... you're out of your minds!" she said, emphasizing the last sentence with a perfect anger, tears welling up in her sparkling orbs of eyes.

When a stunned silence ensued, Rosalyn continued. "Please," she whispered. Light... Ryuzaki... can't you see?" And there was a heavy, dramatic silence, the entire room hardly daring to breathe, waiting for what this perfect girl was going to say.

Then Mogi sneezed.

"BLESS YOU," screamed a voice from a window. Everyone snapped up and looked, and there was a hot air balloon floating by with three people in it. The person who had blessed Mogi was named Lindsey. Her companion, Mikomikokoro, added shrilly, "BB LOOOOVES STRAWBERRY JAAAAAAM!" And Kaiko Aozora's eye twitched. Twice.

They all turned their attention back to the severe situation at hand. "Light... Ryuzaki..." she murmured, glancing at the two desperate and radically different faces in front of her. The one on the left had a neatly cut and dyed Asian haircut, holding an expensive diamond ring, and was also Kira. The one on the right had deep bags under his eyes and an unhealthy sugar addiction, a half eaten Ring Pop, and was looking to serve justice to Kira. But there was one thing both of them had in common: and it was the love sick, glazed, puppy dog expressions plastered onto both their faces. Desperation clearly emitted from both of them as they both silently begged Rosalyn to be their wife.

And deep inside Rosalyn's perfect, pristine heart of gold, she had a sudden realization (or, in fancier terms, an epiphany). Her bottom lip quivered and she looked back and forth between the two, while blinking perfectly twice. She backed up into the wall some more, hand clutched at her chest, and tears welled up in her perfect rose colored eyes as she knew what she had to say. Taking a deep, perfect breath, Rosalyn finally whispered, "I can't... Oh, Light. Ryuzaki... I can't! For you two are perfect for each other!" She said, closing her eyes and shaking her head, perfect tears clinging to her luscious eyelashes.

With a small sob, she ran from the room, hurt that she had hurt these two desperate boys, for she could not hurt anyone without hurting herself! Her tears dripped and splashed to the ground delicately as the elevator shot down, and she sobbed and sobbed into her handkerchief (that was produced out of nowhere).

In her own mind, her tragic past had prevented all that. When Rosalyn was younger, her parents divorced, and then both died in car accidents, causing her to live in the streets. She had to work as a stripper to make a living by in the worst part of town. She was beautiful, but no one appreciated it. Although she was perfect, no one in school liked her and jeered her, and she became withdrawn and sad. No one ever loved her.

The two people she ever trusted in her life betrayed her. She had come home from work one day and found her boyfriend making out with her best friend, both half clothed. But she had forgiven them, for she understood deep down their need and longing that she would never meet.

When she was merely a young, crisp girl of thirteen, she had been kidnapped several times a day and used as a slave, doing back breaking work in a household whereas everyone else sat on golden chairs and sipped wine as she scrubbed the floors. She wore the same pair of shoes of years until her toes poked out! And Rosalyn knew, she knew how it felt to live such a desperate, tragic life.

But one day, when Ryuk descended upon her tragic, tragic past and lifted her up gently into the Shinigami world, her life changed from that point on.

Back to the present.

Meanwhile, in the room, a dark gloom descended upon all that were in it. Ryuzaki and Light both stood there in their kneeling positions, in shock at the sudden departure of Rosalyn. The room seemed infinitely times more empty and dark without the angel.

A wail broke the silence.

"NOOOOOO!" shrieked Misa, who clutched at her face and sobbed hysterically into Mogi's arms. "NOOOOOOOOOOO! ROSALYN!" Misa mourned. Who cares if she just left the room? "MY LOVE! OH, MY ONLY LOVE!" And Misa fell onto the floor, crying, crying, crying, as Light and Ryuzaki looked at each other in disbelief.

For who on earth could be as perfect as Rosalyn?

Hello, Christian Jaw here, considering the fact that Crane Yank is off doing some French homework. We apologize for no updating sooner, but we've set the date to update on every Friday (or try to, anyway).

In all truth, this is a story so we can slowly take over the world! Insert manical laugh here.

Anyhow, I'd like to give thanks to all our reviewers, and as you can see, they were featured here! YAY! And also, keep writing reviews! Keep subscribing and we'll keep writing this horrible story!

See you next time.

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