Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious
AN- I started working on this once I posted up the last chapter. And I probably won't update any time soon because exams start on Friday. So I need to study if I want to promote to 10th grade. I'll update after exams are finished. So until then, I hope you enjoy this chapter.
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. Jade's POV
So remember how I said my anger wouldn't take over? I lied. It did take over. And I hurt her badly. What if I killed her?
Flash Back
I did my best to avoid people so I went directly to class. It was on the third floor and it was probably empty. No one is up there before school. Barley any teachers are up there, only a few classes are held up there. I went up all the stairs, watching students slowly disappear as I went further up. When I reached the third floor, as I expected it was empty. Except for Jessica, she's a senior. I was in a play with her once but after the play ended I never talked to her. She walked towards me with a smile on her face. I met her half way.
"Jade, right?" She asked with a smile. Hm, at least she remembers my name. I nodded and her smile faded.
"So I have a boyfriend...his name's James Carter. Sounds familiar?" She asked with anger in her voice. Don't say that name, it bothers me.
"Yeah..." I stated.
"Well he told me that you're pressing charges against him...for rape." She sneered. My heart beat increased. Stop it, I don't need to hear it right now.
"He...he d-did." I mumbled.
"Really? Because that it not what he told me."
"He lied to you." I said with no emotion in my voice. She rolled her eyes and gave out a mocking laugh.
"Look, I know you two hooked up and I know he never called you back. Get over it! That does not mean he raped you!" She exclaimed. I felt the anger starting to rise up again. Shut up! You don't know what happened! You weren't there!Don't say it like you know its true! He's lying! He just doesn't care! He wants to pretend this didn't happen and he has you blind.
"Nothing to say? Yeah that's what I thought." She mocked.
"You don't know anything!" I yelled.
"I know you're just a SLUT! You practically begged him for sex!" She yelled back.
"I'm not a slut!" I screamed. I could feel the adrenalin begin to pump inside of me. I bit my lip to stop me from yelling something more. Jessica just move away!
I inhaled deeply and walked around her but I stopped when she pulled my arm. So I faced her once again.
"You're right, you're not a slut. You're worse than that. You're so much worse that a prostitute is more respectable then you."
And that's all it took before I felt my face burn with anger. So I did what anyone would do, I slapped her across her face. I breathed heavily. But it didn't help, she threw a punch at me and I fell. I got up so fast, it amazed me. I punched her on her nose so hard that I scraped a bit of skin on my knuckles. And her nose started bleeding. She slapped me, I felt her finger nails dig deep into my cheeks. When she removed them, it was burning like hell. So I yanked on her hair and pushed her and she fell. She went tumbling down the stairs, that I forgot were there. She kept falling until she hit the wall. And she just laid there. Get up, Jessica! I saw blood flowing out and I panicked. I tried to go to her but my legs were shaking with fear. What did I do? That's when James showed up. He was by her side and he looked up. He saw me. I saw anger in his eyes and I panicked even more. So I ran. I ran as fast as I could through the halls but I heard foot paces coming after me.
"Come back here!" James shouted as he chased me. I kept running, turning left and right through the halls. I was running to the other pairs of stairs. I was so close but he was faster. He grabbed my arm and slammed me against the wall. Tears ran down my cheeks. And suddenly I was gasping for air. His hands were wrapped around my neck, pressing hard against it. He was chocking me and I kicked and tried, with all my strength, to get him off. He breathed so heavily on me that it sent chills up my spine. His hot breath on my. His eyes full of rage and hatred. B-but I d-didn't mean to! It was an accident...right? She started it!
"Listen and listen well, I won't say it was you who pushed her down the stairs. I'll say she fell and I, personally, will make sure she says that too. See how nice I'm going to be? But you have to do something in return. Drop the charges, all of them. And leave. Get out of this town. Run far from here." He said through his teeth. I couldn't breathe but he lightened his grip.
"Don't tell anyone anything. Just disappear. Or I will come after you, I will find you and I will kill you. And just to make it even better, I'll do what I did to you to Tori Vega. I'll skin her alive in front you you. Got it?" He asked. I nodded and he let go of me. I fell to my knees and gaped for air.
"Run." He said before running back to Jessica. I cried hysterically. Please, god, help me! Please, someone help me! I got up, my legs were shaking but I gathered my things and ran down the other pair of stairs. I escaped through the nearest exit door and I thought Tori saw me turning the corner. But she didn't, or else she would have come after me. I stopped when I was off school grounds. I couldn't breathe and I fell down again. Tears kept flowing out of my eyes. I can't do this anymore. Just end this pain.
After I finally calmed down, I walked to Tori's house. I was relived when her parents weren't home. I opened the front door and ran to my room. I got my suitcases and started packing as fast as I could. I felt my phone vibrate. When I checked it was Beck. I'm so sorry Beck. I love you so much but I can't risk hurting Tori. I need to leave. I love you.
I began to cry again. I finished packing and went to the bathroom to get my make up and toothbrush. I took a quick look in the mirror. My cheek had three long cuts running down my cheeks. They were bleeding just a bit. But it burned. I got the first aid kit and placed a large band-aid on it. This is what I have to do. As I went back to my room, my phone kept vibrating but I ignored it. I'm sorry but I have to do this. I love you, Beck. Please don't doubt that. I decided to write Tori a letter, just so she won't think that I was kidnapped or something. I won't tell her anything, I'll just tell her that I couldn't go through with this. I'm a great writer, I can lie through a piece of paper. I got out of that house and loaded my car. And I started to drive.
END of FLASH Back
I drove down the road, not even sure of where the hell I was going. But I had to leave this town. I had to get out of here. I went to a near by bank. I need my inheritance money now. If I take it out somewhere else, they can trace my tracks. And by they, I mean Tori and the gang. I know Tori well enough that she'll come looking for me. But she can't find me. She won't find me. So I might as well withdraw the money now.
I drove down to the bank. I parked my car and sat there. My phone vibrated but I ignored it. I went in and ignored all the strange looks I got from people. What haven't they ever seen a person with a big band-aid on their face before? I stood in line and waited for my turn.
"Hi, I'm here to withdraw money from my inheritance." I told the lady. She looked at me like I was crazy. I told her my information and her eyes went wide when she saw the money that I could get. It was $750,000. She looked at me and handed my my money. I'm not going to carry around all this money. I'll just make a new bank account but with different information. That way they can't trace me. I'm smart right? If I'm so smart why didn't I just walk away instead of hurting her?
I felt my phone vibrate, it's Beck again. I collected the money and went back to my car. I sat in the car for a while, I placed my phone on the passenger seat and heard it as it vibrated. I bit my lip in frustration. I was tempted to reply. But I couldn't, I had to be strong. This is my life now. I have nothing left to say to them. I won't cry, I have to learn to forget them...even if it k-kills me.
I turned on the engine and began to go down the rode. He said get out of town, so that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm not sure where the hell I'm going but I need to get out of here. Maybe this is a good thing. I leave this town full of crappy memories. I'll forget that this is the same town I was raped, the same place where I was abandon by my father. And the same place where I found out my mother died...she use to have a beach house. I can go there! I-I'll start all over again and forget about all this...pain. But it's all the way in Oregon which is far from here. I can always fly out but then that would lead on a trace of where I might be going. Fuck. I'll just have to drive. But not now, I just want to sleep. It's only 4pm but I'm tired as fuck.
I went down all the high way until I saw a billboard promoting a near by motel. As I was driving, my phone vibrated again. I groaned and it was Tori this time. So I sent her a message. It was cold and harsh but maybe she'll get the picture.
To Tori : LEAVE ME ALONE
My hand was shaking. But its for her own good. I returned my attention back on the road. This isn't how I wanted it to happen. I was suppose to win the trial and put James in jail. I was suppose to live happily ever after with Beck...and the baby. The baby... shit! I'm having a baby in 7 months! I can't have it, no, not alone. I'm not ready, not now, not ever! I don't-can't go through with this! It pains me in my heart to think about this but maybe its for the best. What if I get an abortion? I-I can't...I know its the best solution if I don't want to have it but, I can't kill it. I'm not that cruel. If I'm not cruel then why did I push Jessica down the stairs? Either way...I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did that. But I didn't even ask for this to happen, so maybe I should? Why should I have to go through the pain of child birth when I didn't even ask for this to happen? It's not my fault, at least I think it's not.
It was when I felt tears purring down my face that I had to focus back on the road. I finally found the motel and parked in the parking lot. I grabbed the envelope that contained my money and I got my suitcases out of the car. After drying my tears, I decided to go check in. I'll stay the rest of the night. I'll leave tomorrow morning. I walked in and took out some money. I registered in the front and they handed my my room key. A bellhop took my bags and showed me my room. I nearly had a panic attack when it was just me and him walking through the halls. He suddenly stopped and dropped my bags, I swear I was about to scream. But he just showed my my room instead. I watched him leave and walked in. I dragged my suitcase into the small living room. It had a small kitchen, a living room with a TV, a small door, which I assume is the bathroom and a queen sized bed. I locked the door before sitting on the couch.
So what am I going to do now? I'm underneath all this stress. I left Beck, I ran away without telling him a single word. I left without telling him how much I loved. That phrase that people use to say to me, "its the little things you miss", yeah well I never really paid much attention to it. But I regret it now. I haven't even been gone for a day and I'm already missing Cat's random comments, Robbie and dumb puppet Rex, Andre's insanely beautiful music and Tori's happiness. I never really paid much attention to those things but now that I realized that I am not longer going to hear their voices or see them ever again, it makes me depressed. When my mom use to get depressed she use to drink a lot. Maybe it's time I follow in her foot steps. Like they say, "like mother like daughter." I need whiskey to start drinking my complaints away. I'd probably be better that way, maybe then I could actually sleep.
I know I'm just going to screw up my life at some point, I might as well start now. This is something that I'll never control, so why bother trying? I looked at the clock, 5:30pm.
I swallowed hard and went to the bed. I just need to sleep it off.
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Meanwhile- Beck's POV
She left without even saying good-bye. I just want to see her face one more time, to tell her that I love her. She could have at least told me why! She could have asked me to come with her! I could have left with her! I would do anything for her! And yet she doubted that and left me. She left me behind, expecting me to move on. Well I can't...I won't. I need her and I know she needs me. She's just doesn't want me. And when she doesn't want me, it kills me. I have failed to be a boyfriend.
"We'll find her...Don't worry..." Tori said. Her voice is shaking, I looked at her. Tears were in her eyes.
"It'll be ok." She whispered softly. I bit my lip. Not it won't. I won't be ok.
"You don't even believe that, do you?" I asked. She looked down, not sure of what to say.
"Tori's right...we will find her! Even if it takes weeks, months or even years to find her, I won't ever stop looking for her! If I have to, I will spend all my life to find her! I just want my best friend back!" Cat exclaimed through tears. We looked at her, I've seen Cat cry before but the way she's crying now, you can feel her sadness. She was standing so quietly, I barely even knew she was there. But it must be hard for her. Jade was her first friend. It's odd, I know. But Jade was willing to put up with Cat. And they stayed together. It was like they were sisters. But Jade left. Leaving behind broken pieces.
But Cat's right, I'm not going to sit back and wait for her to come back, because frankly, I don't think she's going to come back. And if she won't come to me, then I'm coming to her.
"What are we going to tell your parents? That she ran away, because I know Jade. If she finds out we're looking for her, she'll only run more." I told Tori. She sighed.
"I...we can say she...she went back to live with her...her aunt?" Tori said confused.
"That can work...we just can't tell them she left. Your dad's a cop, he'll chase her down. And she'll run." Cat agreed. I nodded, there's nothing for me to say.
"How are we going to find her though? Won't your parents question where you are?" Cat asked Tori.
"I can always say...that you invited me to a summer camp. I've seen it in movies before, that could work." Tori replied. Cat nodded. I'm going find her. She's my heart and with out it I will die. I'm going on a search for my heart. And I'm not stopping until I find it.
"So, any idea's of where she might be?" Tori asked. Cat shook her head and looked down disappointed. Tori looked at me. And I starred at her. Where could she have gone? I thought about it for a few minutes but it didn't help. I had no clue. I don't know where she could have gone. I opened my mouth to speak but Cat cut in.
"What if she went with her dad? Maybe he came to get her and she went with him." Cat suggested.
"Yeah, that could be a possibility." Tori said. She ran out of the room and seconds later she came back with a pen and paper. Cat and I looked at her confused.
"What? We need to write everything down!" She exclaimed knowingly. Cat's face brightened up.
"We can be like Sherlock Holmes!" She cheered. I smiled lightly.
"She could have gone to San Jose, I remember one time she said that when she was littler she lived in San Jose for half a year. Maybe she went back there." Tori said. I can't believe that they can come up with places and I can't. The only thing I can come up with is,
"The beach house." I mumbled softly but I knew they heard.
"The beach house?" Tori asked. I looked at her.
"Her mom use to have a beach house in Oregon. But this was years ago. And she hates beaches so...maybe she's not there." I told her.
"Ok, well let's make a list and since you think she's not there, we'll put that place at the bottom of the list." Tori said. I nodded.
"Hey, Andre just texted me. He asked if Robbie and him can come over. What do I say?" Cat asked worried. I looked at my watch. It was already 2:10 pm. Damn, time went by too fast.
"Let them come! Maybe they can help." Tori said. Cat nodded and texted Andre.
"Anywhere else?" Tori questioned me. I looked away. I can't think right now. My mind is with Jade. Her voice, her smile, her laugh, her attitude, her personality. Everything, I need her now. Why did she leave? I need to know why.
"Beck...?" Tori's voice came back to me. I looked at her.
"Back to her old house?" I shrugged. Tori's eyes brightened up.
"Yes! She can be there, right now! It's so close and she could be packing up more of her things." Tori said.
"You're right! A while back ago, we talked. She said she missed it. Let's go check. Right, now." I urged. Tori nodded and we stood up.
"Wait! What about Andre and Robbie?" Cat asked. We stopped.
"Can you stay and wait for them?" Tori asked. Cat nodded.
"When they get here, tell them everything. And wait for us to come back!" Tori shouted as we ran downstairs. We ran to her car and she turned on the engine. She began to drive. Please, please let Jade be there! I was anxious and my leg was shaking. I need this to work. I need Jade to be there, so I can hold her. So I can tell her how much I love her.
When we got there, Tori pulled into her driveway. I didn't wait for the car to stop completely. I ran to the door. I heard the car turn off and Tori slam the door shut. I tried to open the door but it was locked.
"I'll try the back." I said as I ran to the back yard. I jumped the fence and went to the back door. It was opened! Yes, things are going right. I went in, everything was covered up. All the furniture and it was dusty. I ran to the front door and opened the door for Tori.
Tori's POV
I don't think I've ever seen Beck so hopeful. He ran to the backdoor to see it was open. I don't think he's notice but her car isn't here. So it means she's not here. But I don't have the heart to tell him that, he's just going to have to find out on his own.
The front door opened and I walked in. This place sent chills up my spine. It's so empty, just like Jade left it. When she moved in with me, I helped her cover up all the furniture. The electricity is out, no one lives here so why pay for it? They bought the house so no need to pay rent. It's a bit dark in here.
"Tori, you look here. I'll go look in the basement." Beck said as I nodded. He was about to go down the stairs but we heard a noise come from the upstairs bedrooms as if something had been knocked over. Maybe she is here! I looked at Beck, his eyes brightened up. I swear, before he went running up the stairs, I saw a smile on his face. I chased after him and bumped into him.
"What?" I whispered when he didn't open her bedroom door. He took a deep breath and reached for the door knob. He must be nervous to see her. She isn't going to expect us. He opened the door quietly and we entered. But the room was empty. It was just like she last left it. It was gone. I looked at the floor and a mouse ran into the closet. Gross! I looked at Beck. His eyes were empty. I felt so sad for him, a moment ago, you could see the hope and happiness in his eyes. But now its gone. He looked down.
"Maybe she's in her parents room." He whispered as he turned and starting walking to their room. He doesn't want to accept it. She's not here.
"Beck..." I said quietly. I walked towards him. He opened the bedroom door. Yet again, that room was also empty.
"S-she's not here, Beck." I told him. He opened every upstairs door. She wasn't there. But he didn't stop checking.
"Beck, she's not here." I repeated. He went down the stairs.
"She's just hiding in here somewhere!" He shouted from the kitchen. He has to stop. She's not here.
I went followed him through out the house.
"Beck, she's gone! She's not here!" I shouted after him. He turned to look at me. I looked at him sadly. I could see it in his eyes, all his hopes of her being here just disappeared. He looked at me with pain in his eyes. He was reading my mind, it kept telling him, Jade's not here. He walked towards me with anger in his eyes. It scared me but I didn't move. I thought he was going to lose it but he just walked out the house. I let out an uneasy breath. I chased after him only to find that he was running away.
"Beck!" I yelled. I ran to my car and followed him. When I spotted him, I caught up to him. I scrolled down the windows.
"Where are you going?" I asked calmly.
"To get my car." He stated simply. He had no emotion in his voice. It wasn't like before, when he tried to do his best to show that he wasn't hurting. He's doesn't seem to care anymore, he's just letting it show.
"I'll take you there." I said. He shook his head.
"Beck! Get in! Please." My voice trembled. He's hurting, I'm hurting but we can't fight. Not now, we need to stick together. If we're ever going to find her. He stopped and I pulled over. He got in. I drove to school, the parking lot was empty except for his car. School had all ready ended, great way to start summer vacation, right? I parked next to his car and he got out, slamming the car door behind him. I jumped slightly when he did that. He started his car and began to drive. I followed right behind him. This wasn't suppose to happen. Jade was suppose to put James in jail and then be happy with Beck. And her baby. What's going to happen to the baby? Is she going to raise him or her by herself? I don't have her to go through with childbirth alone. She needs someone there with her. Even if she doesn't want to admit it, she need someone there.
We reached the house and Beck parked behind Andre's car in the drive way. I parked my car and went inside with Beck. Andre, Robbie and Cat were sitting on the couch talking. They stopped when we came in. Beck sat down without saying anything. Cat looked at me, I could tell by here eyes that she was asking if we found her. I shook my head and she looked down. Andre starred at me and did his best to smile. He stood up and walked to me. Even though he's here, it still doesn't make me feel less sad.
"No luck, I see." He said. I nodded.
"Well, we came up with a list." Robbie said from behind. I walked past Andre and sat on the couch next to Cat. I scanned the list.
Jade's house
Her dad's place (Seattle, Washington)
San Jose
Maryland, Washington D.C
The beach house
I looked back at them confused.
"Why would she be in Maryland?" I asked them.
"Well, when we were in history class, we were learning about the White house. And she said after she retires from acting and singing that she wanted to move there." Robbie said.
"But..that's too far away! I doubt she'd go there." I protested.
"Exactly! She will go anywhere where she doesn't think anyone will find her!" Andre said. I shrugged. Anything is better than nothing.
"Seattle?" I asked as I looked at Cat. She nodded.
"Her dad lives there. She told me some time ago. She might be with him." Cat said.
"Well we can fly out." I suggested. Cat, Andre, Robbie and I began to talk about how we were going to travel. Beck kept quiet.
"You're all missing the big picture." Beck suddenly said. We all stopped and looked at him.
"She's not an idiot. If she does go to Seattle, she won't fly there. She'll drive there. She knows we can just track her down. Just look at her record, we can see when she goes out of the country." He said. I looked down. But he's right.
"We can drive there." Cat pipped up.
"Yeah, we can catch up to her. It's only one of her so she'll have to stop more frequently to rest. But us, we're a lot of people. We can take turns driving that way we don't waste time." Robbie said.
"And on our way, we can check out the beach house. We have to pass Oregon anyways to cross the get to Seattle." Andre said. We looked up at Beck, as if to ask for his permission. He shrugged.
"Can't you act like you care?" Andre mumbled. I don't think he wanted Beck to hear but he did.
"You think I don't care!" Beck shouted. When Andre stood up, we did too.
"No, it's just that you're sitting over there all quiet and not even trying to figure out where she is! You're not helping! You're just sitting around. Well, sorry to break it to you, but she's not going to come back, We have to find her." Andre yelled.
"You don't get it! You're not in love with her! I am! To see her just walk away without an explanation kills me!" Beck shouted back.
"You guys! Come on! Stop!" Cat pleaded.
"No, just shut up, Cat." Beck said annoyed. He's broken with out her. He's beginning to break.
"Don't tell her to shut up! You're the one who's acting like an ass." Andre spat out.
"I am not an ass! You just don't understand how to love a person!" Beck yelled. Andre rolled his eyes and gave out a laugh.
"Oh really? And you do!" Andre asked angrily.
"What's that suppose to mean?" Beck replied walking towards Andre. I walked to Andre's side, what is Andre doing? I know he's upset but he doesn't have to act like this.
"Where were you when she needed you? When she found out she was pregnant! When she was raped! Where were you? If you really think about it, it all comes down to you and her fighting! And who started that fight?" Andre yelled in frustration. My eyes went wide open. It's one thing to be mad at him but to blame him for what happened to Jade.
"Andre! It's not his fault!" I yelled at him. How could he say that? I know he's hurt too because of Jade and mad at Beck for not showing that he cares, but this is too much. There's something else bothering him, ever since this morning at school. When he was talking to that other girl and when he looked at me a bit annoyed. It still doesn't mean he should say that!
"Both of you, just shut up!" I shouted. I felt Beck push by me and walk out the door. He slammed it and the house fell silent. I looked at Andre and shook my head.
"Why did you say it was his fault? Andre, you know it wasn't!" I said. He looked down. I walked to the door to chase after Beck.
"Yeah, just chase after your new crush." He said. I stopped and turned around.
"You think I like..." I stopped and shook my head. And then it hit me. Does Andre like me? If he does then maybe he was jealous that I spent all day with Beck. That's why he looked at me a bit upset during class today. He was hurt.
"Well maybe if you actually opened your eyes, you would have seen that I like you!" I shouted at him before walking out. I felt tears running down my cheeks. Every things falling apart. And nothing I do can help. I ran to Beck, he was getting into his car. I ran to the front of his car.
"Move, Tori!" He yelled. I shook my head, tears still pouring down my face.
"No!" I yelled. This isn't going to end like this! I don't care what I have to do! We have to stop this, we need to be together if we're going to find her!
"Tori, I'm not joking!" Beck exclaimed. I'm fixing this right now. I don't care how, I just am!
"You and Andre are best friends!" I began. He rolled his eyes.
"You heard what he said!" Beck told me. I shook my head.
"I don't care! Look, we're all fucking hurting because she left! But if we're going to find her then we need to stop fighting and work together! Otherwise, this is pointless! Otherwise, we will NOT find her." I explained. His eyes lost the anger. I fell on my knees and cried. Why the fuck do things have to be so complicated?
I heard him get out of the car and sit next to me. I looked up and he was sitting down, leaning against his car. He didn't say anything.
"Please, I need this to work. Stop fighting..."I whispered. He hugged me and I rested my head on his shoulder. When we broke apart, I saw Andre starring at us.
"Andre..."I began as I got up. He looked away and shook his head. He walked past me and went to Beck. I froze as I thought he was going to hit him. But instead he hugged Beck. I felt a bit better.
"I'm sorry, man. It's not your fault and I was stupid to say it was. Cat talked to me. She said that if we're going to start fighting then we can't find Jade. And you need to find her. I'm going to help you." Andre explained. Beck nodded and apologized too. I felt my eyes growing swollen. Cat and Robbie came out and Cat smiled.
"Yey! We're all happy now!" Cat cheered. Beck hugged her and apologized for being an ass. But she laughed it off.
"Now, we wait for my parents to come home. And I'll tell them I'm going to camp with Cat, and then tomorrow we can leave." I explained. They nodded. I looked at Andre but he refused to make eye contact with me. I told him I liked him...doesn't he like me too? I sighed and took a deep breath. I'm an idiot/ He doesn't like me. I feel so pathetic now. I was way out of my lead anyways...
AN- So? How did you like it? This is going to be the last chapter until a while from now. I need to focus and study because exams are here. And I wanted you guys to have a long chapter until I come back. Review! Only six away from 100! :D thanks to everyone who reads, reviews, favorites, send alerts and for everything else! I really do appreciate it! :D 3