Chapter Five: Principessa
She fingers the gold chain around her neck. She's thinking back to Christmas. It really had been one of the best for her. She knows that Ron was the reason. She smiles. He's already at her apartment. He said he would make her dinner tonight. She's glad that Ron has finally decided he can let himself into her apartment without her being there. Though, she appreciates his thoughtfulness. She's never felt more secure in a relationship before. Not even with Toby, and he had been her best friend before. And, thankfully after. She just has one last briefing to go and then she can go home. It never had the pull it does now, going home. She smiles again and lets go of the necklace. She heads to the Oval to double check before she calls a full lid.
She's on fire tonight. She really is good at this. Poor Bruce. She hadn't meant to make fun of him and his source as much as she had. But, it was ridiculous. She taps her fingers on the steering wheel as she makes the last turn to get to her street. CJ remembers telling Josh that she was a woman in her prime. And damn, if that doesn't feel good. She parks the Mustang and heads upstairs. The door's unlocked when she tries it. She throws her purse and her briefcase by the coat stand and takes off her coat as she calls out for Ron. He comes out of the kitchen wearing the most ludicrous apron she's ever seen. She laughs.
"Where the hell do you find this stuff?"
"Flamingo-dot-com. It's a good website. You should check it out."
She laughs again and hangs up her coat. She willingly steps into his embrace and kisses him softly. Up close, she can see that the flamingos on the apron are wearing sunglasses. She shakes her head and asks what's for dinner. While Ron puts the dressing on the salad and she puts the lasagna on the table, CJ tells him about her day. He smiles in all the right places and tells her that there wasn't really anything in his day he can tell her about. She understands. It's another surprise for her that it doesn't bother her. He withholds a lot from her. But, she knows it's because he has to, not because he doesn't trust her.
They eat dinner in the dining room. And she once again marvels at Ron's talent in the kitchen. Of course, she reminds herself he is talented in other ways as well.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Huh? What?"
"I asked what you were thinking about there, CJ. You had this look on your face."
"Oh. I was thinking about how good this lasagna is. And how much I want to take you to bed right now."
She smiles at the slight blush that creeps across Ron's face. She laughs outright as he starts to clear the table, taking her fork out of her hand mid-bite. And within minutes she finds herself in his arms in bed. She really is on fire tonight.
~*~
She's furious. She's absolutely furious. How dare they? She's not a child. She's good at this job damn it. But, apparently, she's the only one who has noticed. She looks like an idiot. What's worse, her credibility is shot to hell. Damn them all anyway. She's just so damn pissed. And Toby. Toby saying that there's concern. Please. He of all people should know that there is nothing going on with Danny Concannon. He should have stood up for her. He shouldn't have had to stand up for her. Toby has been gone not more than two minutes and she's even more riled than she was listening to Ed and Larry give the Sesame Street briefing. She needs to focus. To calm down. She stands, but that leads to pacing. She's damned if she'll let them see that. And she knows if she closes her door that they'll think she's crying. A walk. She'll take a walk to clear her head.
Her feet have led her downstairs almost of their own volition. She hadn't planned on coming to him about this. She hates the idea that she's become the whiny girlfriend who has to have her boyfriend fix things. That's not her. So, she'll just talk to him about something else. That plan is shot to hell when he looks at her. He's too good at reading her. He immediately asks her what's wrong. Her reply of nothing doesn't move him one inch. And then he's suggesting they take a walk.
It's not until they reach the corridor well beyond his office that she finally lets go. Lets loose. She yells. She unloads all her anger and frustration out on Ron. She curses each and every one of them. She curses Toby twice. And the whole time Ron just listens. He nods his head occasionally. That frustrates her almost as much. So she shouts one last thing. Ron grabs the arm that has been gesticulating wildly throughout. With his other hand he rubs her arm. She can feel his breath on her ear.
"CJ, you know as well as I do that you don't want me to do anything. You wanted to vent. You don't want me to fix it for you. If I did, you'd only get pissed at me for thinking you couldn't handle it yourself. Which you know I think you're more than capable of."
She shakes her head and steps closer. Smiles a little. And takes a deep breath.
"You're right."
"Of course I am. And I'm pretty sure that you don't want to hear this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. Part of this is your fault."
She stiffens and takes a step back. But she doesn't jerk out of his grasp. Not yet anyway.
"Now CJ, hear me out. I agree with you about keeping our relationship secret. It would be a nightmare with the press. And I wouldn't feel comfortable having the head of the President's detail getting that much coverage. But, in order to deflect attention you've flirted with that reporter."
"He has a name."
"I don't care. I'm still not that comfortable with it. I trust you. I don't necessarily trust the fish guy. But people have noticed. And you haven't given them any reason to doubt what they think they've seen. I'm not saying it's right, but things aren't always right and wrong. And in your business perception is everything. Right?"
"Yeah."
"So, be as outraged as you want at what they did. But don't claim they didn't have any foundation. That's all I'm saying."
"Yeah. Okay. I know Danny wasn't the best idea. But, he's the only one who ever tried."
"Not the only one."
She smiles at him then, a genuine smile.
"Yes, but you succeeded. And, I'll put some distance between myself and Danny. Okay?"
"Yes. Thank you."
"You are so cute when you get jealous."
"I'm not jealous CJ."
"Well, what would you call it?"
"I'd... uh... I'd call it uncomfortable. Slightly uncomfortable."
She laughs at the look on his face and steps closer. Again.
"Well then, you are very cute when you're slightly uncomfortable. Thanks. I didn't mean... ."
"Don't worry about it, CJ. I know you wouldn't normally talk to me about this in the middle of the day. Toby has that job. But since he's in the doghouse as well, I understand. Now, don't you have a briefing coming up?"
"Yes."
"Then get up there and show them how wrong they were."
He squeezes her arm and finally lets go. He winks at her and heads back to his office. CJ thinks this day might just be bearable after all. And she will show them. She's CJ Cregg after all. And she's good at this.
~*~
She's sitting with Toby. He's apologized. And he's taken the blame for suggesting they leave her out of the loop. She knows that it wasn't his idea. Knows that Toby thinks she'll forgive him more easily than the others. She's still disappointed in him for not sticking up for her. And she tells him so.
"CJ, how could I do that?"
"All you had to do Toby was say that I could do my job."
"And if the discussion had come around to Danny Concannon? Was I supposed to say 'hey he's no problem, she's dating Ron Butterfield'?"
"No."
"CJ, I think Josh knows. Or suspects. And Sam's not far behind. I didn't want to out you. In hindsight, maybe this was worse. But, it's not my place. And yes, this was part of the better argument I had in my head earlier."
She laughs. Knows that he's right. She's seen Josh give her some funny looks lately. She pats Toby's leg and stands. They head out to see if Josh and Sam are back yet. And then Josh pulls them into his office. And sucker punches her.
She's exhausted. And frightened. Lord Marbury had asked them in the Oval Office if they were scared. He was talking about India and Pakistan and war. But that's not what has her frightened. She's scared of the coming storm. The storm that maybe one of the greatest men she's ever known won't be able to weather. Leo brought her here. She knows it was at Toby's suggestion. But she also knows that Leo wouldn't have done it if he didn't think she could do it. And she knows that Leo's tough on her sometimes. Not because he doubts her, but because he doesn't. He knows how much she can handle, even if sometimes she needs to be reminded.
The phone rings, her personal line. She answers it. It's Ron. He wants to talk to her. He says it's important, but he doesn't think it would be a good idea if he came up to her office. She tells him that she's on her way.
She sees Ron waiting in the hallway for her. He looks somber and her stomach clenches. How much more will they have to face today? She takes a deep breath and takes the last few steps to stand in front of him. He shakes his head and his voice is low when he tells her that he isn't supposed to know this. That he can't tell her where or how he found out. But, he has an agent who has told him something. This agent got it from someone else, some dumb bastard who was bragging. But, there's a file that some people have gotten a hold of, a file on Leo McGarry. She breathes a small sigh of relief. She knows. She tells Ron that she's already been told. Josh and Sam got it today.
"CJ, you know it's not just the alcohol right?"
She nods her head and her shoulders slump a little. She doesn't understand how people could do this. Attack someone like this because of politics. She says as much to Ron.
"I don't know. CJ, I need to tell you something. I couldn't say anything before. But, now that you know... I'm the one who sealed the file. It was when he was Labor Secretary. And I'm the one who okayed him as Chief of Staff. He doesn't pose a threat to anyone. Except maybe himself, if he ever takes a drink again. I admire him. And I have faith you guys will make it right."
He tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. And seems to look past her a moment.
"CJ, he's a good man. You guys will help him. They won't beat him. Not like this."
"Yeah. And I love you for feeling so passionate about this, but you didn't need to raise your voice there."
"Yes. I did. I wanted Leo to hear that."
She turns quickly, but doesn't see anybody. She turns back to Ron and looks at him questioningly.
"He was there, CJ. Don't worry. I'm sure he won't ask you about this. But, I can't very well go up to his office and tell him that I admire him. But, I could do this. Are you mad?"
She blinks a couple times before she can answer.
"No, I'm proud of you. You are a good man too, you know."
She watches as he tries to brush off the comment and changes the subject quickly.
"So, I was thinking, maybe tonight we could have take-out?"
"Sounds good. I'll pick it up on the way home. Where?"
"Your place. You have a nicer bed."
She laughs and whispers how much she loves him. And then she heads upstairs, more determined than ever to fix this for Leo. To not let him down. She wonders briefly if Leo realized that she and Ron are together. She knows he won't say anything about it. It's not his way. She decides to check in with him before she goes to the last briefing. Margaret isn't at her desk, so she knocks softly on Leo's door. She pops her head around the door.
"Leo?"
"Yeah, c'mon in, CJ."
"I'm gonna let them know that the President met with the ambassadors for India and Pakistan. And that Lord Marbury is here. Anything else you want me to say before I call the lid?"
"No, that's good. Just don't let them get you into a discussion about possible nuclear capabilities. That's gonna... ."
"I know Leo. I know. I... I won't. Anything else?"
"Naw."
She's almost out the door.
"CJ?"
"Yeah?"
"Never mind."
She nods her head once.
"Okay."
She leaves knowing that was Leo's way of apologizing. He's not one for emotional displays. And that's okay. He is a good man. And they are going to help him. And that's really all that matters.
~*~
CJ's tired. It's been a long week. She had almost forgotten the mad sprint just before the State of the Union. She's barely seen Ron this week. She's been trying to do the heads up on the speech without giving too much away. And she's been deflecting Josh's increasing attempts at getting her to confess about her relationship with Ron. She would laugh at his attempts at subtlety if she had the energy. But, she's tired. And now she has to give a briefing about the President having the flu. On top of everything she'd had to tell Leo that the story was out.
She gets home and barely gets through the door before she's collapsing onto the couch. She still has her coat on and the nylons aren't the most comfortable sleepwear, but at this point she doesn't care. And that's when she hears a door close. Her heart starts racing and she jumps up. Raises her hands in front of her and sees Ron, laughing at her.
"Whoa there. Please don't hurt me ma'am."
"Very funny, Ron. Very funny. You scared the hell out of me."
"I'm sorry. I just thought you might like a hot meal tonight. I know you've had a rough week."
She smiles at him.
"You cooked for me?"
"Well, no. I didn't have the time. But, I got you Thai."
She goes to him and kisses his cheek. Lets him take off her coat. She removes her heels and tosses them toward the bedroom. They eat in companionable silence. And when they get to the bedroom she lets Ron get her pajamas while she undresses. She kisses him softly and is asleep before he's even changed.
~*~
She preps Leo before seven. And then Sam and later Josh help her give Leo possible questions. She doesn't go near the pressroom when Leo's in there. Instead she sends Carol. She doesn't want the press to lose focus. She watches with Josh and Toby in Toby's office. Sam is busy writing something. Leo does better than she had hoped.
At her next briefing, she spins well and deftly skirts the topic of Leo's addictions. She hates that this is consuming the news cycle. But, she's seen the letter that Sam had written and she thinks it might be just what they need.
She wonders if it's a good sign that Mandy seems to be flirting with Danny. She thinks it might help give her some space from him. She had called him into the office and talked to him after Mandy had left. She had tried to be as professional as she could, given the subject matter. And she had refused to tell Danny who she was seeing. But, it really is better this way she thinks. She shouldn't have used Danny as a cover in the first place. And she still feels a bit guilty about that. But, he had taken it well.
She's glad to get home. And even happier to find Ron there. He's cooked chicken tonight. She smiles when he says that he certainly feels bad that the President is sick, but that it does lighten his schedule somewhat. They talk about Leo's press conference for a while. And after dinner is over, they retire to the living room with their glasses of wine.
"Lord Marbury will be here tomorrow."
"Oh how exciting."
Ron's voice is thick with sarcasm and he rolls his eyes.
"What is it with all the men in the White House and Lord Marbury? I think he's kind of cute. And he calls me 'principessa'."
"Oh he does, does he?"
She watches as Ron crawls up towards her. She places the glass of wine on the table as he does the same with his. She puts her arms around his neck.
"He does. I think I like it."
"More than Flamingo?"
Ron's nuzzling her neck and it takes her a moment to respond.
"No. I think I like Flamingo much better."
Her laughter is lost in his mouth as he kisses her. She holds him close and feels like a teenager as they neck on the couch. Much later, lying naked next to Ron in bed, she feels like things just might be getting better. The State of the Union address tomorrow will be great. The story about Leo will fade soon. And she has this man that makes her smile. And other things.
End of Chapter Five