My Kingdom - chapter 4
by rose_malmaison
Rating: FRAO
Genre: Slash, DiNozzo/Gibbs
Warnings: M/M, slash, sexual situations, language

A/N: Comments and feedback are appreciated.

*** Chapter 4 ***

Tony lifted Gibbs' hand to his nose and inhaled. It was faint, but underneath the smell of antiseptic and residual chemical odor from the bombing was the indefinable scent that was Gibbs. God, how he missed him already and they'd only been separated for a couple of days. "Come back to us, Jethro," Tony murmured. "Come back to me." Then the hand moved within his grasp as Gibbs took in a big breath and shifted in his bed.

Gibbs' eyes opened, and with a series of slow blinks slowly focused on Tony. The muscles of Gibbs' face tautened and for a few seconds a frantic look appeared in his eyes, still bloodshot from the percussion of the blast.

Tony smiled encouragingly. "It's all right. It's me…Tony. Take it easy, take it slow." Above the bed he could see the heart monitor; the blips jumped at a frantic pace, then calmed down a little. Tony hoped the nurse didn't see it and come running, not right now. Gibbs' eyes darted around the dimly lit ICU room, but his gaze returned to Tony, who laid a gentle hand on the older man's chest.

Gibbs must have assessed the man hovering over his bedside as being a friend, or at least not an enemy. After a moment he relaxed back into his pillow. "You're…?" Gibbs' lips tried to form another word but he gave up and closed his eyes, as if the attempt to speak exhausted him. When he opened his eyes once again, they were focused and determined, the haze of the morphine that had been forced upon him slowly dissipating. Gibbs said in a scratchy voice, "I know you."

Those three words teetered somewhere between a question and a statement, but Tony took them as a positive sign. "I'm Tony."

Gibbs' eyes narrowed a fraction as if he was trying to place Tony. Then the wounded man said cautiously, "We work together."

It was another half-statement, and with sudden insight and deep disappointment that physically hurt, Tony realized it was Gibbs' way of covering up for his memory loss. He didn't remember. He didn't know who Tony was, didn't have any recall of their lovemaking or their good times or even that God-awful fight they'd had only a few weeks ago.

"I'm Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo," he prompted with a smile. /Please say you remember me, Jethro. Show me you remember./ Tony reached for a cup and filled it with water while he worked at covering up his dismay. /You're being selfish, DiNozzo. If he can't remember you, well, it's not like he can remember anyone. It's not personal. Talk to him. Show him you're his friend. It'll come with time./ He stuck a straw in the cup and turned back to Gibbs so quickly that for a fraction of a second he caught the man looking him up and down, assessing him. Tony almost made a crack about his ass being given the once-over, but held it back. Now was not the time to joke around. He helped Gibbs drink some water, then put the cup to one side once he was finished.

"Yeah, we work together." Tony perched on the edge of the hospital bed. He could see that Gibbs had no recall of working with him, but he smiled smoothly. "Been five years now. You've taught me a lot, Boss."

Gibbs' gaze dropped to the badge clipped to Tony's belt, then to his gun, holstered on his hip. "Cop?"

Taken aback, Tony laughed. "I don't think any NCIS agent would appreciate being called a cop. We're Federal investigators."

The blue eyes remained fixed on Tony, as if seeking some kid of confirmation. "But you're a cop."

"I was."

Gibbs nodded once, satisfied. "Some things you can't shake. You're still a cop."

Tony conceded with a bow of his head. "I guess I am, at heart. Just like once a Marine, always a Marine." He saw Gibbs' eyes cloud over with some memory, and knew it was his past, once more, reaching out to draw him in. Tony quickly said, "Everyone in the Yard is pulling for you. It looks like I can safely tell them you're going to make a speedy recovery."

Gibbs blinked, clearing his vision, then elbowed his body into a higher position. Tony was quick to put an extra pillow behind the man and raise the head of the bed to a more comfortable angle. He could feel Jethro's eyes on him the whole time, and although Tony wanted to ask him a dozen questions, for the moment he held off. He wanted to give his boss a chance to get used to his presence, hopefully to remember him.

"What do want from me?"

Tony sent Gibbs a puzzled look. "Want from you? Nothing. I'm here to see how you're doing."

Gibbs turned his head to view the wall clock above the door. "It's two in the morning."

Tony shrugged. "Just wanted to make sure you're okay."

Gibbs wasn't buying it. He shifted in the bed and glowered at Tony. "Don't give me that bullshit. You're the soft sell, come to get answers out of me." He said louder, "You're like that Director-"

"Jenny Shepard," Tony cued quietly.

"Yeah, her. She wanted me to ID some photos. I told her I couldn't remember anything-." Gibbs' face reddened and the little lights on the monitors did a dance, making Tony afraid they'd set off an alarm any minute.

Gibbs swallowed and visibly reined in his anger about how that scene with Jenny had played out, how his frustration had risen to a boiling point and he'd been sedated as a result of it. In a forced but calmer tone he said, "If you're here to give me the third degree, you're outta luck, cop." The glare he gave Tony was severe as was possible from a man in a hospital bed, just awakened from a coma, his head wrapped in bandages.

Tony chuckled softly at Gibbs being Gibbs and using his glare as a weapon. It was a relief, in a strange way, to be on the wrong end of that harsh glower. When Gibbs' eyes narrowed in annoyance, Tony raised one hand. "Hey, I'm not here to interrogate you, Boss."

"Don't call me that."

Tony crossed his arms. "Okay, but you'll always be Boss to me, even if you can't remember that. You'll figure it out eventually, that you're the boss in your future…which is my past." Tony suddenly grinned. "Hey, this is like The Terminator, going forward in time in order to have sex with Sarah Connor so she'd have his kid who'd grow up to be his best friend back in his future and her past. Or was it her future? And to bring down Skynet." He cocked his head at Gibbs' nonplussed look. "Now, Gibbs, I know you've seen The Terminator. Linda Hamilton, what a hardbody she was in the T2 version. Edward Furlong, you know, when he was just a kid, before American History X? Reshaping the future by changing the past." Tony put on a deep, announcer-like voice. "'The plan required something that felt no pity. No pain. No fear. Something unstoppable.'" He laughed. "Now if that doesn't sound like a good description of our Very Special Agent Gibbs, leader of the A-Team, I don't know what does."

Gibbs leaned slightly away from Tony and stared at him askance. "Are you always like this?"

Tony turned innocent eyes on his boss. "Always like what?" He half-expected a head slap but it never came.

The blue eyes never left Tony's face as Gibbs tried to figure him out. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

No, it was obvious he didn't, but even on his best days, Gibbs let Tony run off at the mouth without paying a lot of attention to the content. "Oh. Just talking. I get like this when it's the middle of the night and I've been living on coffee for 48 hours." Tony grinned and picked up the still-hot cup of coffee from the side table and took a sip. He wasn't sure why, but he couldn't stop smiling. It was simply good to have Gibbs alive and talking, with no significant injuries. He could have been blinded or lost his hearing or significant body parts, not to mention his life, so anything that proved he was alive and kicking was fine by Tony. If he didn't have total recall, well…it would come back. He kept telling himself that. Tony noticed Gibbs' eyes were fixed on the coffee in his hand, so he raised the cup towards his boss. "You want some?"

Gibbs couldn't help himself. He licked his lips in anticipation and gave a little nod.

"Just don't get caught drinking this or the nurse will toss me out on my ass." Tony put the hot cup in Gibbs grip, then covered his hand with his own, steadying it so the coffee wouldn't spill. Tony slipped his other hand behind Jethro's neck and supported him while he drank. The feel of the warm skin on his palm, and the bristles of freshly shaved hair at the nape of his neck sent a rush of warmth to Tony's face. It felt like it had been a month or more since they'd been able to touch each other intimately and, despite the incongruity of the situation, Tony's dick started to harden.

Embarrassed at the way his body reacted with so little stimulation, and afraid that Jethro would catch on, Tony turned his body away but kept his supportive hand in place. He peered towards the nurse's station but the only nurse visible had her head down doing paperwork, from the looks of things. When he looked back at Gibbs, it was to see his boss sipping the black coffee with a blissful look on his face. "I'll bet you're glad they got my order wrong and didn't add soy milk and sweetener to it," Tony said with a grin.

Gibbs drank too large a mouthful and coughed as a result, so Tony warned, "Take it slow, Jethro. There's plenty of time." Soon he took the coffee away and Gibbs relaxed back into his pillow, closing his eyes.

After a moment, Gibbs reopened his eyes slowly, his lids heavy with exhaustion. "You're real bossy, aren't you?"

Tony smiled as if it was a compliment. "Learned from the best. I always wanted to know what it was like being team leader and giving orders. Now I know."

Gibbs asked pointedly, "What idiot went and made you the boss?"

Tony said with a straight face, "The same idiot who got himself blown up on the Bakir Kamir." He offered a look of mock surprise. "Oh, I guess that would be you, Boss."

"Huh! Must have been an off day."

The two men stared at each other for some long moments, Gibbs weighing up the younger man, Tony wondering what was going on in Gibbs' mind. Then Gibbs relaxed and said, "I can see why I chose you for my team, DiNozzo."

Tony grinned and said, in his best John Wayne voice, "Well, when ya want your job back, you're gonna have a damned hard time prying the keys to the kingdom outta my cold, dead fingers."

Gibbs sent a puzzled look his way, so Tony elaborated. "'For one more day as a king of your world

I'd give a kingdom, for one more day.'" Then, "It's a song, Jethro." He shrugged. "You'll be demanding those keys back quicker than it takes for you to reload your Sig." He was going to continue talking to Jethro but could see that he was about to fall asleep at any second. Tony drank from the half-empty cup of coffee, fancying he could taste a hint of Jethro on the brim. Once it was empty Tony tossed the cup into the garbage, turned to his jacket draped over the bedside chair, and brought out an envelope.

Gibbs widened his eyes, slightly alarmed, expecting Tony to show him another photo of a terrorist's face that he could not identify, no matter how vital it was that he remembered. Instead, the photo that Tony pulled out was small, a four-by-six, the image depicting a red-haired woman and a girl of about eight. Tony cleared his throat. "I thought you might want to have this."

Gibbs took the photo gingerly, as if it was fragile. "Got it from your home, Boss," Tony said, so quietly that Gibbs barely heard him. Gibbs stared at the photograph and ran a finger over it, tracing the faces, his eyes lingering on the happy image of his wife and daughter. Emotions flitted across his face - happiness, then realization, and finally loss and desolation.

Tony wanted to wrap his arms around Jethro and rock his sadness and loss away, to take him out of this cold hospital and warm him up in his own home, to lie with him in the comfort of the bed they shared together. He wanted to hold Jethro so close he'd never escape, never be harmed again. He wanted to be physically close in the hope that it would somehow compel him to remember that there was joy in the world, and that there was something special between them that only the two of them shared, that he was safe and loved, just loved.

He couldn't make out if Jethro's eyes were tearing up but he was pretty sure they were and his own had a pricking feeling behind them. Hell, he'd be crying any minute now if he didn't do something about it. Tony swallowed down the lump in his throat, laid a hand on Jethro's shoulder and gave him an all-too-brief hug. "I have to go. You get some sleep. I'll find a way to see you tomorrow, Boss." He grabbed his coat and headed quickly for the door.

Jethro's voice calling out stopped Tony on the threshold. "Wait…"

Tony hovered but didn't look back. "Yeah, Boss?"

Jethro said in a voice that cracked slightly with emotion, "Thanks."

*** end chapter 4 ***