Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious
AN- Here you go (:
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.Jade's POV
Monday morning came around, I had slept in most of the day. When I woke up it was already half past noon. I wonder how tired must I have been.
I heard no noise at all. I went downstairs and found Lila sitting on the couch with the lap top on.
"There's breakfast in the kitchen if your hungry." She said as I stood on the last step of the stair case.
"She left to work?" I asked.
"Yup. She'll be back by 7 p.m. I usually get dinner started." Lila told me. I nodded, though she couldn't see it. I headed to the kitchen and saw a
plate with two pancakes, two bacon strips and sausage. It looked so good but I couldn't eat it. I was hungry, my stomach was begging for food
but when I thought of eating it, it made me sick.
"You know, Dr. Mill came by this morning." Lila spoke. I froze but tried not to show any sign of fear.
"Who's that?" I asked, trying to act as if I didn't know.
"Don't act like you don't know. She wanted to check up on me, on how I was doing. She came after my mom left to go to work...And I told her
about you. When I said your name she looked surprised. She didn't tell me directly that you made an appointment with her. She only said that she
had met you already. So I'm only assuming." She explained.
"Yeah I met her. But you assumed wrong." I sneered. I walked over to her and sat next to her. Silence fell upon us until she dared to speak.
"Who's Beck?" She asked. I could feel my heart beat go faster and anxiety build up.
"He's called you several times. And you never pick up." She said.
"How do you know that?" I questioned. She reached into her pocket and pulled out my phone.
"You dropped it. I found in in the hallway." She answered handing it to me. I snatched it out of her hand and glared at her.
"You should have given it back! Who the hell do you think you are, going through my phone!" I exclaimed. She shrugged.
"I got bored. So if he like your ex?" She asked.
"This is my personal things! And I want you to stay the hell away from my stuff!" I yelled. She smirked.
"Someone had a bad break up. So why'd you guys break up? Did he find out you got pregnant? Does he even know your getting an abortion?" She
asked while smirking. I felt the urge to slap her but kept myself together.
"One, he isn't my boyfriend. He never was...and second of all, I am not pregnant and there will be know fuckin' abortion because I'm not a stupid
slut like you who opens her legs to any guy! So you need to stop all this non sense!" I screamed.
I didn't care how hateful I sounded. I don't need her invading my personal life. I don't want anyone to know because then they try to get inside my
mind and try to figure me out. Well I don't need anyone to figure me out.
I watched her storm out of the living room and go upstairs. I suddenly felt bad for yelling at her like that. It's just something about Beck and the
abortion made me snap. I don't want to think about Beck. I don't want to love him anymore. But I can't help it. He's perfect and I love him and I will
never stop loving him. Which gets me so pissed off because I know that I need to let him go. But how? How do I let go of someone that I've been
with for more than two years. Tell me because I can't figure it out.
I went to my room and laid down in my bed. I shifted and turned but I couldn't relax because Lila had her stupid music all the way up. When I
banged on her door and told her to lower the volume, she put it to the maximum. So I did what I had to do and went outside to the power box.
And I turned off all electricity. The music went dead and I heard her let out a frustrated scream. I walked back into the house and went to my room.
I heard nothing coming from that girl's room and worried. But I decided not to do anything about it. She's probably sulking in there after what I
said. I should feel bad, but I don't.
I went back to my bed and laid down. I can't keep living like this. So screw my plan. Tomorrow I get my abortion, get the cash and get the hell out
of this house. I'll just go stay at a hotel and then look for a house to buy or some shit. It would be better to isolate myself, sort of what Emily
Dickson did. She spent her life in her house and just wrote poetry. And now she's remembered as one of the best poets. Maybe that could be me
in years. I'll live alone, one day they'll find my dead body in the house and find all my work. They'll publish it and I'll become famous. I'll be the
famous dead girl. Ha. The irony...wait...is that irony? No, I don't think it is. God I swear if I keep talking to myself, I think I'll go insane. But hey,
maybe if I do then I'll be put in a mental ward. Then it'll be me and four walls. No one else to give me stress.
I sighed and sat up. I wasn't tired. Not even a bit, should be expected since I slept most of the day. So what do I do now? Maybe I should walk
around...but I'm sort of too lazy to go out. I remember when I use to get lazy, Beck-...
I held my breath in. Maybe I should go out. I need distraction anyways.
I got out of bed and slipped into jeans and an old t-shirt that belonged to Beck. But I didn't care at the moment...that and I just didn't feel like
changing. I walked out of the house and heard no noises from Lila's room. I wanted to just go back but went against my will and got into the car. I
drove into town center, usually something I going on. Sometimes performers show up and put on a show for the little kids.
As I parked I saw a huge crowd gathering around the huge field. Must be a game going on. I walked over to the crowd and slowly pushed my way
to see what was going on. But they weren't all looking at a game, they were looking at some protesters. And of course, they were protesting
abortion. Are you serious? Its like every where I go they just won't let me ignore it. I made up my mind...
I watched as they talked but I couldn't hear so I decided to move closer, until I was at the front row.
"These are innocent child's your killing! They haven't had a chance to live because all you stupid women are killing them!" A lady yelled into the
microphones. But it wasn't just her, standing alone. It was more, maybe 20 other woman.
"How do you think they feel when you let them get sucked out? What if some sharp shit was sharped through you while you were in your mothers
womb? You trusted your mother to keep you safe until birth but what do some of you do? You betray your child's trust and have a doctor rip your
child out!" Another one said. I felt a bit sick. I tried not to think of it, but instead I stayed put. I should have just walked away but something was
keeping me there.
"Stop killing babies!" Another woman said. Then the first one that spoke was holding a baby. He was so cute and adorable, it made most of the
crowd go "Awe".
"This is what you are killing...please. Ladies, stop it. Let them live! Give them for adoption! Anything is better than abortion. For all you teenage
girls out there that got an abortion, its your own fault! You should have kept your legs crossed! If you get pregnant, then oh well! It's your
mistake! You deal with it!" She said. I bit my lip so hard I felt a bit of blood come out. And I felt as if every one where starring at me. I began
rubbing my arm, it was like every pair of eyes were on me yet no one was looking. Or so I thought but when I looked ahead, a lady that was
protesting was looking directly at me.
"Think before you choose. If you are cold heart-ed, you would do it. But prove to us that you're more than that." She said into the speaker while
looking at me. My legs began to shake and I stiffened up. I avoided her eye but I knew they were still on me. So I left, I fled like a coward. I left
just like always. I pushed by people and walked in no particular direction. I just walked and walked until I was at the board walk. It was right at
the edge of the ocean, so people could walk past during the days or at night with their loves. I whipped away the hint of blood that was on my lip.
I walked casually through it. Not many people were walking, most of them (I guess) are at the protest.
I walked around, sat and walked again until it was getting late. I ignored my hunger and went to my car. But somehow I ended up on the other
side of the town center. So I had to go through all that walking again just to get to my car. When I finally got to my car, I was exhausted. My legs
were too tired. Yet somehow I found my self parking in front of the house again. Karen seemed to be home already. I walked in and saw her in the
kitchen cooking. Her face was angry and when I shut the door, she looked up at me. She didn't smile at me though, she only glared. I didn't want
to speak.
"H-hi." I said trying to make my way up the stairs.
"Jade. We need to talk." She said in a firm voice. I nodded and made my way to the kitchen. What the hell did Lila do?
"Yes?" I asked.
"I came home early. And I found Lila crying." She explained. I titled my head slightly.
"I asked her what was wrong. And do you know what she said?" She asked. I stood up straight and shook my head. She took in a deep breath
before continuing.
"She told me that you called her a whore and that you threatened to tell everyone in town about how she sleeps with guys. And the fact that she
says that and you weren't here, that says something!" She raised her voice.
"I was in town yes, but I wasn't talking to anyone. And I didn't threaten her to anything!" I told her.
"Oh but you don't deny calling her a whore is that right?" She asked in a mocking tone.
"She went through my personal things! And yeah, I did call her a whore but she pissed me off!" I exclaimed.
"This is my house and you are living under my ruff! You do not call my daughter a whore! Do you understand that?" She yelled. I glared at her.
"No, Karen! This is not your house. It's mine! I own it! And I can sure as hell kick you and your stupid daughter out if I want to!" I screamed. Her
face dropped and I expected her to say something but she didn't. After a minute of silence passed by she finally spoke.
"You're right. This is your house and you can kick us out." She said softly. I wanted to reply but she didn't let me.
"Lila is at her aunts house. I don't want any legal trouble so don't worry. By the end of tomorrow, this house will be yours. I'll have Lila come in the
morning and pack her things. We'll stay at my sister's house until we find a new home." She told me.
"Karen-" I began but she shook her head.
"No." She whispered.
"Look, I'll move. You bought the house so..." I tried to tell her but she just shook her head. She ignored my attempts and left to her room. I felt like
just ripping off my hair and screaming. I wanted to throw everything that was in my way. I waited until I heard her door close before going up
stairs.
I shut the door behind me and let out a small frustrated scream. That stupid brat! Ugh! But..I can't blame her. It was all just a big trap. I should
have known to keep my mouth shut! I should have flipped over it! Maybe I can talk to Karen before I leave tomorrow...I almost forgot my
appointment was tomorrow.
I grabbed my PJ's and went to the bathroom. I needed a long and relaxing shower.
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.Beck's POV
I woke up earlier than ever. Andre was still snoring and Robbie was huddled up next to Rex, mumbling about something. I wanted to wake them
up, but I couldn't do that. They needed rest. Just like I do but I can't help it if I worry. I keep thinking that Jade's alone and lost. I wonder if she's
out on the streets or sleeping in shelters. I...what if something happened to her? I just need to know how she is. If she doesn't want me to be
with her then ok. But I need to know how she's doing. And where she is. I won't even bother asking why she left, I'll just tell her that I don't care
and want to be with her. Jade, that's all I ever think about. I know that it's not healthy to keep thinking about her all the time like this. Because
then I get all depressed. Though I can't help it. And Andre...well he wants me to realizes that I shouldn't get too pressed but he doesn't
understand. If it were Tori in Jade's place, I'm sure he'd be the exact same. Its one of those things that you have to experience before can actually
talk.
Im not sure when I woke up, all I know is that when I did, the sun was up and bright. I jumped when I heard the door pounding. I sat up and
nearly fell when I went to go open it.
"Tori? What are you doing up so early?" I asked. But she had a panic expression on her face.\
"EARLY? It's 10 a.m! We were suppose to leave 3 hours ago." She explained but she got really quiet and turned a bit red when she looked at me. I
looked down and realized that I was only in my boxers.
"Shit. Just meet us downstairs. We'll be ready." I said as I shut the door on her face. I apologized through the door but she only mumbled
something I couldn't make out.
"Andre, Robbie" I began but Andre cut me off.
"We heard. Just hurry up!" He said as he put his pants on. I did the same and stuffed everything in my bad.
"Shouldn't we do the beds?" Robbie asked as Andre and I were heading out the door.
"No, just let the maids do it. But leave a tip." Andre told him. We walked downstairs and saw Cat turning in the keys.
"Hey. Where did Tori go?" I asked as I handed in my key as well.
"She went to go get the car." Cat said yawning. I lifted my bad over my shoulder and helped Cat with her bags too. We walked outside and Tori
honked at us.
"Hurry!" She shouted. We climbed in and then I realized that in less than 10 minutes we were all ready to go.
"Dude, that's the quickest time I ever spent on getting ready. Ugh, my hairs a mess." Tori said as I climbed into the front seat.
"Want me to drive?" I asked. She raised her eyebrow at me.
"No. I can drive well you know." She said. I put my hands up in defeat. She only smirked and began driving down the road.
"UGH! I'M HUNGRY!" Robbie shouted after 20 minutes had passed. We all groaned at his comment, expect Cat who had fallen asleep on Andre's
shoulder.
"Well, we'll get something to eat when we're closer. If you guys had remembered to put the alarm on then we would have time to stop." Tori said.
"Hey! You could have done that." I replied in defense.
"You guys always do it so I got use to it! Besides, I'm actually surprised you woke up late, Beck." She told me.
"I know. So am I. I remember waking up earlier but then I don't even know when I went back to sleep. I guess I was just really tired. And I have a
massive headache so I think that's enough for my defense." I explained. She only playfully rolled her eyes at me.
"Can we please just get something to eat?" Robbie whined.
"Alright already! Just wait until we hit a place." Andre said trying not to move so he wouldn't wake up Cat. Because when she wakes up...she gets
cranky. And a cranky Cat is something we don't need.
I shut my eyes and tried to ignore the main that come to me.
After about half an hour more of Robbie's whining, we finally got to a gas station. While I put gas in the car, Tori and Robbie went to the store to
get coffee for everyone, including a sleeping Cat, and some donuts or whatever food was available.
By the time they came back Cat was awake and Andre was stretching his shoulder.\
"Damn lil' Red, you may look small as hell but your head weighs a lot." He said.
"It's because I'm smart." She replied.
"Sure..." He mumbled sarcastically. She took offense and hit him. It was my turn to drive and we headed back on to the road.
"Finally I got food." Robbie commented taking a bite out of his...breakfast sandwich? I took a sip out of my coffee.
"I don't know how you can drink coffee." Cat said sipping her drink.
"Then what are you drinking?" Andre asked suspiciously.
"I gave her hot chocolate. I'm not letting Cat drink coffee while we're traveling. She's already hyper without it." Tori explained.
It was taking ages to get there. There was so much traffic and it made me wish I had a flying car like in Harry Potter. That was I could just fly out of this traffic.
As we kept moving, we were getting close to the reason of traffic. There was an accident up front but I couldn't see what had happened. I only
saw ambulances, and police cars on the scene. I caught glimpse of the smashed car and it just happened to look a lot like Jade's car. I held on to
my breath and gripped the wheel so hard that my knuckles turned white. I know it's not her but I could imagine if it was. And I would never get to
see her. Or what if something like that already happened? I would have no way in knowing. I hope and pray that she's safe. I wouldn't know who
to take my anger on. That bastard James for causing this. Or me for letting her go.
A loud honk brought me back to reality.
"Beck, go!" Tori said motioning for me to drive again. I checked my mirror and saw an angry man honking at me. I drove past the accident and
focused on the road again. With a quick glance at Tori I knew she was wondering what was wrong. If she doesn't ask then I won't say. Even if she
does ask I won't say so it doesn't really matter. I know they're a bit annoyed about me talking about Jade all the time. I could understand if they're
worried about me but I don't want to understand. I just want to get where we're going.
As we grew closer to the boarder to Oregon, everyone was complaining that they were hungry again. It having been 5 pm already. I pulled over at
a nice diner and parked. I watched as everyone got out of the car and stretched.
"Hey, aren't you coming?" Cat asked walking up to my side of the door. I lowered the window just a tad bit and shook my head.
"Nah. Not hungry." I told her with a small smile. Cat rolled her eyes and opened my door.
"Up. You're coming with me Mr." She said as she unbuckled my belt and began pulling me.
"Ok just let me get the keys." I said as I stepped out of the car.
"No! Now!" She told me pulling me away and shutting the door.
"CAT!" I exclaimed trying to open the car door.
"What's going on?" Robbie asked walking towards us, Tori and Andre right behind.
"He's mad because I pulled him out of the car." Cat explained.
"No! It's not that! Cat, you shut the door with the keys in the car!" I told her. Cat sighed.
"Then just open the door." She told me as if it were that simple.
"It's locked." I sighed. I heard her gasp and she ran around the car to see if any other door was opened. But of course, luck is never on my side so they were all locked.
"Ok, ok, let's not flip out." Andre tried calming us down. I glared at him.
"Cat, Tori and Robbie, go get food. And Beck and I will try to open the car." He explained. We all nodded and I watched as the three of them left.
"Why does this always happen? We keep getting delayed." I commented as Andre tried observing the car. As if by starring at it, it would open.
"We'll get there. Just...don't get your hopes up. You know she might not be there." He said in a low voice. I think he was hoping I wouldn't hear. I
wanted to make a remark but I knew he was right. I wish he weren't but there is still a chance she might not even be there. After all wasn't I the
one who said it would possibly be more likely that she wasn't there? I was the one who said that she hates beaches so if she hates beaches she
shouldn't be in a beach house? Especially since her mom owned the house. It would be to much for her to suppress all those memories...but I
know she's not weak. I keep thinking of her as if she were weak. As if she needs me to save her but truth is... she probably doesn't want me to.
She left for a reason, she told me to leave her alone, she doesn't answer my calls. Maybe she's trying to get away from me. Am I too much? What if
she actually does want me to leave her alone? She means half the things she says but the other half she doesn't mean. So what half does want
me to leave her alone?
"There!" I heard Andre's voice yell with relief. I looked at him blankly and he was smiling at the opened door. I didn't bother to ask how he did it, I
could probably just guess. He was holding a stick in his hand and the window was a bit cracked.
"Do you think she would prefer me to leave her alone?" I suddenly asked. His face went from happy to serious in a blink.
"Are you seriously even considering that?" He asked. I looked down.
"Look man, I haven't been together with a person for more than 2 years but I'm pretty sure it's impossible to love someone so much and then just stop for no reason." He explained.
"Then why'd she leave?" I asked him. He shrugged.
"Don't know. But she must have a pretty good damn reason." He said. I was about to reply but I saw Tori, Cat and Robbie come back with food.
"Yey! It's fixed...and it only took like 5 minutes!" Cat cheered.
"Try half an hours lil red." Andre murmured.
"She was playing pac man in there while we were waiting for our order. The lady in there is nice. And they have nice women bathrooms too."
Robbie said. We all stared at him when he commented about the women bathrooms.
"What? The men bathrooms was busy. And I needed to pee." He explained casually. I held back a comment and just got back into the drivers seat.
"No. It's my turn to drive, you can eat." Robbie pushed me off and got in instead.
"You go all the way in the back. I call the front seat now!" Cat ran to the front seat. I sighed and went all the way in the back, leaving Andre and
Tori in the middle. I grinned to myself as Tori handed me a burger and soda.
We began driving again and we were finally at the boarder to Oregon. There was a big bridge where the ocean swam under. Andre had to take
the wheel because Robbie began to freak out with his "What if the bridge falls?" To be honest, I never really liked to wonder that while crossing. It
freaked me out too. He was now sitting next to Tori...and practically squishing her too. His eyes were shut and he was holding on to Tori as if his
life depended on it.
"Robbie! Stop embarrassing your self and be a man!" Rex said. Robbie pulled away from a very flushed looking Tori.
"I am a man!" Robbie told Rex.
"Yeah, barely." Rex replied. I heard Tori groan as she laid back into her seat.
"The bridge is collapsing!" Andre suddenly yelled. Tori and I sat up quickly and Robbie shrieked.
"I'm joking!" Andre said as he broke into laughter. I frowned at him.
"Not cool Andre!" Tori exclaimed. But he only laughed harder while Cat giggled to herself.
I closed my eyes and sunk deeper into my seat, if it was possible and tried to block out Tori's words to Andre and Robbie's shaking body.
It was getting night fall when we finally got past the traffic on the bridge and entered Portland. I gazed out the windows and saw the colors of the
lights of the stores we passed by. There were so many people walking around at night and entering different shops.
"Why don't we stop and get some sleep? That way tomorrow morning we can go find the place and we'll be all nice and fresh." Tori suggested. As
much as I wanted to deny her, everyone else agreed. So I was out voted. We checked into a nice and welcoming motel. After getting our rooms,
we were escorted to our rooms. They were nice to us and made us feel comfortable.
"I'll go take a shower first." I said as I only took off my shoes and threw my bag on one of the beds. They grunted in response and I took out my
clothes and went into thew shower.
I'm so close to knowing the answer. And even if she isn't here, I won't stop looking. She has become my new obsession and I don't know if it's
dangerous or not. But either way, I'm not so sure that I care. I just want to see her again. That's all.
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AN- Hope its good (: I'm working on the next chapter now so in the mean time I hope I didn't disappoint. Thanks for taking your time and reading! Now go ahead and review :D
Oh and I'm not sure if I have spelling mistakes in there that I missed, for some reason my spell check is acting weird. So I'll go fix that. But anyways yeah... (: