Disclaimer- Don't own Victorious

AN- Sorry for the wait, I'm trying to post up a new chapter at least once a week. You know, so I can end the story quicker. So um, here you go. (:

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"Beck..." I whispered. There he was... standing in front of the couch and starring at me. Tori, Cat, Andre and Robbie were standing right behind me.

"I missed you." He said softly, he was smiling but had tears in his eyes.

I held my breath. Maybe this is just my imagination. There's no way he's actually here. Y-yeah, that's just it. I just need to relax and walk to my room and sleep it off.

I moved pass him and walked up the stairs as calm as possible. I didn't turn back, I just kept walking.

"Where is she going?" I heard, my imaginary Cat ask. Before my other imaginary friends could reply, I shut the door to my room and locked it. I

moved to my bed and laid down, just sleep it off Jade. I heard foot steps come up the stairs. No, just relax this isn't real. It's just the aftermath of

my... my a-abortion.

I heard a knock on the door and I sat up.

"Jade...please, open the door." I heard imaginary Beck say. He is just my imagination right? There is no possible way he could be here. I mean, I

only showed him this place once in my entire life. He shouldn't remember. Unless he did remember and this is the real Beck. Why must my mind play

tricks on me?

"Jade, open the door or I will kick it down! I'm tired of playing games, I just need to talk to you!" His voice ran through my veins.

"Fine, I'll give you to the count of three to open this damn door!" He exclaimed. I tried to relax but things only got worse until I heard Tori's voice.

"You can't break it down!" She said.

"I'll pay for it later." He replied.

"Wait, just let me talk to her. Maybe she'll open the door to me." She whispered. I moved to the window, maybe I can just escape and never look

back.

"Jade, please open the door. Look we've come a long way just to find you. And honestly, it's pretty shitty that you left like that. Do you know how

much damage you've done to us...to Beck!" She exclaimed. There was a long period of silence. I didn't speak, maybe my imaginary friends are

gone.

"Jade, open the god damn door already! Stop being like this!" She yelled. Nope, looks like they are still here.

I took in a deep breath and slowly moved to the door. My hands were trembling and I couldn't get it to stop to unlock the door. But I managed

somehow. I backed away and watched as it slowly opened. Through a small crack of the door, Tori slipped in, shutting it right behind her. She

locked it and faced me.

"H-hey." She greeted. I grabbed a near my pillow from the couch and threw it at her. The only problem was that the pillow didn't go threw her.

"It...you're real?" Words came out of my mouth. She looked puzzled but nodded.

"Of course I'm real! A-are you high right now?" She asked stepping closer.

"No!" I shouted. Wait...that means, Beck is real. And Cat, and Andre and Robbie. Shit.

"You! You're not suppose to be here!" I said.

"Jade, we came looking for you right after you left! Did you honestly think we would just move one without you? Or that we could just let you go

like that?" She asked. I fell to my knees and just stayed like that. I heard her sigh and she sat down next to me.

"I-I hoped you would..." I whispered.

"Even for you...that's pretty stupid. Jade we can't forget you. And we weren't about to let you go. And Beck... he wasn't going to let you go either.

He was going to keep searching his entire life just to find you." She paused for a second.

"You should have... he should have. I didn't want you to come." I spoke. The look on her was too much. She looked hurt, and broken.

"Fine... then tell me again. Tell me, and Beck and everyone else that you want us gone. Tell me that you never want to see me again. That you

want me gone. Tell me right now and I will walk out the door with them and never come back." She explained keeping her brave face on.

I swallowed hard and tried to let those word out. Yet they were stuck in my throat and refused to come out. I need them gone. That's why I

came here in the first place. They are just ruining it! This...but didn't I hope they would come? Wasn't I the one being selfish in the first place? I

wanted them to come. So here they are. Why am I trying tp push them away if later on I'm going to wish they were here?

"Just tell me one thing." She spoke again. I looked up at her.

"Why? Why did you leave Jade? You had us, and you had the trial. And James-"

"No," I cut her off, "I-I just wanted to get out of there. That place, it has to many memories. Tori, I just want to forget." I lied.

Well not completely, its just not the entire part. And there is nothing wrong with keeping things to yourself. We all deserve a secret, and this is one

of mine.

"This is something that you can't forget. I'm sorry but this...you will never be able to forget because this is part of you now. You can get over it, you

can recover but it will be a scar that is engraved into your soul. And its something you will never forget..." Her voice trailed off.

I began to cry because what she said it true. I will never forget, all this time I wanted to believe that I could just forget but she's right. Tori is

right, she's always been right. I know I can't always be right. She tells me things that I'm not sure of. Truth is, I need her. She helps keep me sane.

And my sanity is the only thing I have left.

"Jade, your time is up. You need to talk to Beck..." She whispered. I shook my head but she ignored it and walked out the door.

I stood up and tried to stop her but it was too late. She was out the door and I could hear her voice calling for Beck. I needed to breathe.

Just when I heard his footsteps getting closer to the door, the sharp pain inside my stomach began to rise up again. I cringed in the pain and sat

down on the bed. It felt like a knife was stabbed into my stomach and it was ripping me apart. It burned like hell. It just felt like my skin was being

opened. I bit my lip to stop me from screaming out in pain. I didn't even notice that Beck was already in the room. I pushed aside the pain and

focused, or at least tried to, on Beck.

"We need to talk." He said.

"Don't have much of a choice do I?" I replied quietly, biting my lip as the pain got worse.

"Jade...I-I honestly have no idea what to say right now." His voice trembled. He slid down the door and just sat there and watched me.

"You know, all I kept thinking while I was on the road trip here, was that 'I can't wait to find Jade and hold her and tell her how much that I love

her'... but now...Now I'm not sure if that's such a good idea." He explained.

I looked at him hard trying to read him yet I could not tell what he was feeling inside. I could not tell what he was feeling.

"It's like you can't stand me anymore. I want to hold you though I know you'll just push me away. I'm afraid to come near you and have you run

away from me. Jade...what you did hurt me." He said. The sudden pain that came was gone now. I don't want to push you away. I want you with

me. So why can't I tell you that?

"It's not too late Jade. We can make this work. We can start our lives here if that's what you want. Just please don't push me away. Because I

won't leave." He paused. I looked away.

"I know you don't want to have the baby but you'll have me. I'll help you threw it. A-and we can have the family we never really had. That child

isn't mine but I don't care because I will raise him or her. I will love that baby as if it were my own." He explained.

I let the tears begin to fall. No... I can't tell him. I can't tell him what a cruel person I am. What I did... I can't.

"We can raise him or her. We can watch them grow up. Jade this can be a fresh start. Me, you and the baby. I'll get a job and we can live here if

that's what you want. I can start the nursery and...Jade this can work. It-"

"Beck, stop! T-there is no baby!" I yelled. I covered my mouth but it was too late. He looked at me confused. He slowly stood up.

"What...so you aren't pregnant? The test was a lie then?" He asked. I let more tears fall out as I shook my head.

"No, Beck... I-I... I, um,... I killed it!" I blurted out. I tried to stop myself but I couldn't.

"I killed it. I had an abortion today. When I came home I was coming home from the clinic. Ok? There is no more baby! Because you know what, I

killed it! I'm a cold and heartless bitch!" I screamed. I watched him as he stood there in shock.

"I'm sorry...I just couldn't keep it. I didn't want it, Beck." I whispered through tears that seemed to never go away. I stood up and walked to him

but before I could reach him, he was out the door and walking downstairs.

I fell to my knees and cried so hard that I thought I would drown in my own tears. I know I was wrong! But that's not good enough! Like I said

before, this is my mistake that I will never be able to fix! Not unless there is a time machine and I go back in time! I'm pathetic I know! What I did is

unforgivable... I just need Beck to understand that I regret it. I need him. I'm so sorry Beck.

"What happened?" I heard Tori's voice ask as she bent down to me. I shook my head and she helped me up and pulled me into her arms.

"It's ok..." She whispered. Sure she says that because she doesn't know. I pulled away from her.

"He hates me..." I said. She looked at me in confusion.

"No, he would never hate you. Just tell me what happened." She said. I shook my head as if saying no yet my mouth began to move.

"I got...there's... I had an abortion!" I told her. I heard her gasp. She pulled away from me and stepped away from me. She looked angry, confused and sad.

"Jade... no...no, no!" She repeated.

"I-I'm sorry...Tori, I'm so sorry. I regret it." I explained but she raised her hand to silence me. I heard another pair of footsteps come up the stairs.

I turned to look and I saw Cat there with tears in her eyes.

"How could you, Jade?" She asked. If she heard, than everyone else did. I just shook my head as this house became the house of tears.

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. Beck's POV

I found her. She rejects me. And now she tells me that she, that she killed the baby. I know I shouldn't have just walked away like that but I just

can't. I can't see her right now. No, not like this. How...why? God! If I only gotten here earlier! I...we should have arrived yesterday! Then we could

have stopped her! But god damn it! We were just too late! Fuck!

I didn't know where I was going, I just kept walking until I reached the water. I heard someone panting behind me. I turned around and Andre

was standing there.

"Beck..." He began. I turned away from him and let my own tears fall. I don't cry for anything other than Jade. And now, this entire week she has

me crying more then I have ever cried my entire life.

"She..." I tried telling him, I just couldn't find a way to tell him. He's my best friend but this is something that isn't so easy to say. Not even to him.

"I know what she did...I heard her tell Tori...But Beck, you need to understand-"

"Understand what? That she killed an innocent child! Andre, how can I possibly understand that?" I exclaimed facing him. Tears ran down my face

but I couldn't care. I can't understand what she did!No, I just can't! Not right now, and not ever! No!

"Beck! It's her body and she can do what ever she wants with it. You can't stop her!" He replied.

"You...you think what she did was right?" I asked. How dare he? He..he of all people! I would expect something like this from Tori but not from

him!

"No! Of course not, I'm as angry as anyone else! But try to see it from her side! How do you think it feels like to find out your pregnant by the guy

that raped you? By the guy who destroyed your life? It's bad enough that she was raped but having to be reminded every day...I wouldn't be able

to handle it. Would you?" He explained. I hesitated.

"No, but I wouldn't have killed it." I replied. I wouldn't have. I would have kept it and raised it even though it'd be hard as shit. I would never kill

something. This is a human being for god's sake!

"Answer me this, do you love her?" He asked. I stood their in shock when I heard it. Does he think I don't?

"Of course I do!" I said.

"Then what the hell are you doing? I know what she did was wrong and she knows it too. She regrets it but what's done is done and she can't fix

it. This is a mistake that will haunt her for the rest of her life. And she knows it. She needs you now more then ever. And what your doing it a poor

way to show that you love her!" He told me. He sighed and closed his eyes for a second.

"Just... think about it." He finally said before walking away.

Think about it? About what? She...she killed the baby. But...I don't know! I'm angry as hell right now! What does he want? For me to go to her

and say that its ok to have killed the baby! Well its not ok!And...and she knows that already. Crap... she knows it and it's killing her. But what do I do

then? I don't have the answers like I thought I did. My whole, I'll just hold her and tell her that I love her plan it all gone now. Now, I have nothing

left. I know that holding her won't be the same anymore. I still love her, no doubt in that, yet there is still something that will never be the same

again. So what do I do?

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AN- End of this chapter! Thanks for reading and hope I did a good job. Please be so kind and review (: Tell me what you think because honestly I love it when I go to my email and see I got a review. It just makes me day a whole lot happier. And I know what I'm writing is a bit dark and I don't really know how to write it but I try.