Trial by Fire
Chapter 4: Strengthening Bonds
The young prince wasn't sure what to expect. Frankly, he was shocked that Mai's mother was allowing him into the girl's room unaccompanied. He wasn't complaining though. He didn't like Akira, though most of what he knew about the woman came from little comments Mai occasionally made about her day or her life or her feelings about certain subjects. The girl rarely mentioned her mother specifically. And Zuko, even though he wasn't the most perceptive boy sometimes, sensed that Mai's family life wasn't what it should be or could be. They had that in common, of course. Though Zuko's situation was a bit more dramatic, it wasn't necessarily more painful or damaging. Hurt came in many forms and Mai had been hurt. It angered Zuko and part of him wanted to yell at Akira for not tending to her daughter and for even thinking about something as stupid as marriage right now.
He stood outside Mai's door as he had stood at the foot of the stairs. Azula would have simply pushed the door open and strode in, like it was her right. That's the kind of person she was; strong and confident and sure of herself and her skills. But Zuko was different. He was insecure and unsure and always questioned everything. 'Does she really like me?' or 'Why would anyone as pretty as Mai want to spend time with a loser like me?' or 'She'll never even look at me,' and so on. He wondered now whether Mai would want his company or his concern.
But, Zuko was kind too and empathetic and he was worried about his friend. That overrode any misgiving he felt. He knocked gently, once than twice. "Hi, Mai, it's me, Zuko. Can I come in?"
He could hear the rustling of sheets as the girl moved about in her bed. "Um, okay," she finally rasped.
Hardly a ringing endorsement, but the prince plodded ahead anyway, turning the handle and entering Mai's room. He was expecting the bandages but the hopelessness on Mai's face made him want to cry. He hovered near the door, now uncertain what to say or do.
"I won't bite," the girl said quietly and pointed to chair beside her bed.
She was propped up, a huge mound of red covered pillows behind her back and head. Most of the left side of her truly beautiful face was swathed in pure white bandages, though he was sure the other side, the one that actually touched the burn, wouldn't be so pure or white. Why had he thought that? He gave his head a shake and approached the chair, sitting right on its very edge. "Hi, Mai," he repeated himself. That was the best he could come up with for now.
"Hi." It was clear that Mai wouldn't carry the conversation either.
'She's hurt, you idiot, of course she won't talk much!' Zuko admonished himself.
The eleven year old girl looked down at her hands. They were folded loosely in her lap. When the pain killing herbs began to wear off and her discomfort increased, she wrapped the sheets around her fingers, tighter and tighter until the pain there distracted from the pain of her face. She could feel Zuko's eyes on her and sense his discomfort. He probably thought she looked like a freak. Mai imagined that she did. As of yet, she had refused to even glance in a mirror. She went to the bathroom in the dark, unwilling yet to get even an idea of the damage Azula had caused.
"I'm sorry, Mai." He reached out with his hand, wanting to cover hers, but pulled it back at the last moment. Sighing and cursing his ineffectiveness, he began to wiggle his legs back and forth nervously.
"At least someone is," the girl said bitterly.
That stung and Zuko flinched at the power of her words. He wasn't accustomed to that much emotion from Mai. He was glad, though. Even he knew that keeping everything locked up inside was unhealthy. And he hoped that Mai trusted him enough to express her feelings more in front of him. It might help and he wanted to help so very badly. "I should have stopped her. I was so, so…I couldn't believe Azula would do that. But I should have known, Mai. I wish it had been me who was burned." This time he did touch her hand.
She grabbed on and held tight, grateful for the contact. "Don't say that. It's stupid. You getting burned wouldn't be any better."
"But, you're a girl. Doesn't that make a difference?" He shrugged sheepishly. Zuko meant well and truth be told he had a point. People pitied girls and women with disfiguring marks more than they did boys. Girls were supposed to be pretty little ladies, after all. Men, on the other hand, were looked upon as battle scarred and heroic, even sexy, whether the mark was received in battle or not.
The statement's essential truth didn't make the comment any easier to tolerate. "Have you been talking with my mother? I am just a useless hunk of flesh now, you know. No one will marry me, or look at me, or ever want to kiss me. That's all she's worried about. Me, I'm being inconvenient." She paused for a moment, took a deep breath and looked as though she were fighting back tears. When she did speak again, her voice was that of a very little girl. "I wish my uncle was here."
"That's not true," the prince shouted. He would kiss Mai right now, if he could find the courage. She was pretty no matter what and he liked her no matter what. Fresh, even more potent dislike for Akira surged through Zuko's veins.
Mai actually smiled, a sort of half smile, but it counted in Zuko's books. She almost believed that Zuko meant it. He was sweet and she had liked him forever it seemed. Mai hoped that if nothing else ever transpired, they could be friends at least. "Thanks."
"I didn't know you had an uncle. Where is he?" The prince wanted to change the subject now. Mai's uncle seemed like a positive one, at least.
"He's the warden at the Boiling Rock Prison and he's nothing like my mother. I'm an actual person to him. I wanna see him so badly." Mai was clutching the sheets again, this time out of anger.
Zuko bit his lip in thought. "Does he know? Maybe I could send him a letter."
"Thanks for the offer, but my mother sent one yesterday. You should meet him, Zuko. He's really cool." There was that tiny smile again. "And he likes that I throw knives."
"I'll come by every day to see you, Mai. That way I won't miss him. Would, would that be okay?" He held his breath and hoped that she would say 'yes'. He hoped that he hadn't somehow screwed this visit up like he ruined everything else.
Mai gave the prince a slight nod, but her lips finally quirked upward into a smile that reached her pretty eyes. "Yeah, it's definitely okay. And if my mother acts like a bitch, remind her that you're the prince."
Zuko chuckled. "I will. Is there anything I can get you, Mai? Are you thirsty or something?" He looked terribly awkward again and so eager to please. Mai took pity on him.
"I'd like some water." She indicated the pitcher and cup by her bed.
He poured Mai a cupful and handed it to her carefully. Their fingers grazed and Zuko's heart beat a bit faster.
"Thanks, Zuko. I'm kind of tired now." She took a few sips and set the cup back down.
The prince jumped up from his seat. "Oh, I'll leave then and let you sleep. See you tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow," Mai repeated and shut her eyes.
Zuko looked back at her before he closed the door behind him. He wished so very badly that he could do more. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all. He would see Azula when he got home and he wouldn't be afraid. She needed to know exactly what she had done. Ozai would punish him for chastising his favorite child, but the prince really didn't care. Giving Azula a good slap would be worth any consequences.
As it turned out, Azula came looking for him. She found Zuko in his bedroom, sitting at his desk and composing a letter to their Uncle Iroh. The only relative left that Zuko actually cared about, Iroh was staying for awhile on one of the archipelago's outer islands. He was still recovering from his son's death in the war and was slowly making his way home to the capitol. Zuko was the only one he corresponded with and the boy always felt a flush of pride and affection at the fact.
"Whatcha doing, dumdum?" she asked in a singsong voice. "Too scared to go see Mai? Maybe she looks like a monster now. Are you writing her a letter?"
The prince's hand tightened on the brush and his jaw was clenched even tighter. "You don't get to say her name!" he snarled, not bothering to turn his head and face Azula. "You're not her friend. You're not anything."
Azula smirked then and began to prance about the entire bedroom, shouting "Mai, Mai, Mai," over and over. She would pass close by Zuko, whisper "loser" in his ear and then zip about the room again. Clearly, she was enjoying herself.
He tolerated it for a few minutes, though it took every bit of strength he had. But when it was clear that Azula had no plans to shut up, and when his patience ran out, he reached for the inkbottle, waited until she was near enough and then heaved it at her. The princess shrieked, a blood curdling sound that echoed in the expansive room. Deep black liquid dripped down her forehead, off the end of her nose and onto the carpet below. Her perfect brown hair was saturated with the stuff and her clothes were ruined. Giving Zuko a look that should have made him very afraid, she stomped out of the room calling for their father. Zuko felt too good to feel fear. Azula deserved so much more than that. The ink would wash off eventually, but Mai's scar would never go away, nor would the pain that it caused.
"You got off lucky, sister," he hissed. "Maybe one day you'll get yours. Maybe I'll be the one to give it to you."
Long after he was asleep, Zuko sensed someone enter his room. He struggled to make his way out of sleep and into wakefulness. When he did, he saw Ozai standing over him, no expression on his handsome face. The door was partially open and warm, yellow light spread from the hallway into the bedroom. The prince was instantly reminded of a night two years earlier when his mother, Ursa, had crept into his room to say goodbye. That memory, though slightly muted by time, was as powerful now as it had been shortly after his mother vanished. Zuko had a feeling that Ozai was by his bed for another reason.
"Get up!" the Fire Lord ordered.
The prince bit down on his lip but got out of the bed, shoving sheets and blankets aside.
"Look at me!"
Zuko looked, soft gold eyes meeting hard ones.
"It will be weeks before that ink comes out of your sister's skin completely."
Zuko shrugged. "Mai will be marked forever. Azula's face doesn't even compare." The boy knew as he said the words that he would pay dearly for his little acts of rebellion, both throwing the inkbottle and daring to talk back to his father. But he didn't care. Suddenly he was tired of sitting back and doing nothing. His power was limited, almost nonexistent, but he refused to let his sister and his father walk all over him anymore. He wondered if maybe his mother would be proud, or Iroh, or Mai. He closed his eyes and waited for the blow to come or the blast of fire. But there was nothing, and that scared him even more.
"I said, look at me!" Zuko trembled and look back into terrifyingly angry eyes. "I don't like this little rebellious streak that you're starting to show. I'm going to stamp it out, once and for all. If you say or do anything else to incur my wrath, you will be sent away, disgraced, never to be heard from again, just like your mother. Yes, you're just like her in so many ways." Ozai turned on his heel and strode out of Zuko's room, silk dressing gown fluttering out behind him.
The prince darted forward and shut the door, sliding down its length to sit on the floor, his arms wrapped around his knees. If he was banished, he would never see Mai again or Iroh. That was simply not acceptable to a lonely twelve-year-old boy, not acceptable at all.
After his morning firebending training and after the allotted time with his tutor, Zuko made the short trip back to Mai's house. He encountered Ty Lee at the foot of the steps. She stared up at the house hesitantly.
"What is it, Ty Lee? Why aren't you going inside?" Zuko moved closer and stood beside the girl who was still dressed in her school uniform of red and black. He was so used to seeing Ty Lee in pink that his jaw almost dropped. "And wow, you're wearing red."
"School, Zuko; I couldn't miss any more, but I rushed here as soon as Mistress rang the bell. See, I told my mom that I would visit Mai every day. But they're fighting inside." Her expression was sad and she was chewing on her finger.
"Oh," Zuko replied. "Who's fighting?" He listened closely and recognized Akira's voice. The other one was male and deep, rough sounding, almost scary. He had no idea who that was. "Sounds bad. Do you think we should leave?"
Ty Lee shook her head emphatically. "I said I would visit Mai and I will. Let's just wait until they stop."
The pair sat on the steps and waited, then waited some more. It was almost half an hour before the door opened and a thick, muscular looking man, rather ugly, jogged down the steps. "Are you Mai's friends," he asked gruffly.
Mutely, Zuko and Ty Lee nodded.
"Then you go to her now. She needs you. I'll be back later, after I cool off! I'm her uncle by the way."
He practically ran down the street, desperate to get away from his sister and the house.
"Wow, he's kinda cool," Ty Lee declared breathily, an awestruck look on her face now.
"Yeeah," Zuko agreed reluctantly. "And kinda scary."
They both mounted the steps and entered without knocking. They had permission, after all…well sort of.