This is where it gets a bit darker, and more is slightly revealed.
"You watched me while I slowly disappeared.
I reached for you to save me; you were frozen in your fear."
"I heard from your teacher today!" My mum told me as soon as Cece entered the door. She was never going to be greeted with a warm embrace from her mother.
"About what?" Cece asked, nonchalantly and as if she knew not what her mum was talking about.
"Don't play games with me, Cecilia. I had to come all the way from work for this... I've lost hours."
It was always the same story whenever Cece did something wrong. Cece worried that her mum was actually a workaholic because she never seemed to have time for her daughter. Although, Cece may be biased because it was where her mum was on the night – the night she needed her mum to be around most.
"Look, it won't happen again?" Cece tried.
"The sleeping in class, the skipping school or the failing marks?" Her mum raged. There was a hefty list turning up in ways that Cece was failing school.
"I've always had failing marks, why do you suddenly care now? It never bothered you before!" Cece fought. Sure her mum had gotten her a tutor in the past, but she never cared this much. Her marks were always just a pass, if that high, so why bother ragging on her about it?
"You were never getting Fails in your tests. Apparently you aren't writing anything down in class or revising. Is this true?"
"I've just been preoccupied, mum. I am trying but..." Cece was trying to find a way to explain what was going on in her life. Maybe she should just come out and say it, because then she'd get the slack she needed...
"Is it Shake It Up? I will cut you from it!" Her mum told her and for once Cece wasn't about to protest about it. Being taken from the show didn't sound like the worst thing to her – especially if her were going to be on it.
"Look, the thing is... There is this boy and-"
"Cece, boys shouldn't be a distraction. Will you get your head out of the clouds and start working?" Her mum seemed to have gotten angrier at the mention of boys.
"You don't get it, mum. I was at that party with Rocky and the boy approached me, which I thought was amazing but-"
A loud beep sounded in the room, causing Cece to halt in her sentence.
"Look, I'm needed at work." Her mum told her, picking up her jacket and heading for the door. Just as she was leaving she turned back. "Pick your grades up, or they'll be trouble. Get out of your own bubble and think about everybody else for once. Bad results have a negative impact on us all!"
Cece looked at her homework. English was always her worst subject, mainly because she was dyslexic. This was ridiculous though. She had been staring at the words on the page for the last half hour, yet nothing was making sense. It normally took her about five minutes to decipher all the letters and make them into something that made sense, but everything in front of her was a blur.
She gave up and closed the book. Could Dyslexia get worse? It appeared to be happening.
If this carried on, her grades wouldn't ever improve. Her mum would be really angry at her, and she'd never be able to tell her. What if her mum didn't believe her? She had lied in the past, after all. What if, after everything, she was actually just attention-seeking? She was used to being called narcissistic, but this wasn't really the same was it? She didn't choose for that night to pan out how it did; she didn't plan for her life to be spiralling out of control with her thoughts.
Cece sat on the bed and mulled things over. Eventually she came to the thought that her mum wasn't listening because she really didn't have anything of worth to say. Her problems weren't important enough for others and she should just deal with it herself.
Cece lay in bed that night, wanting to cry or just release all the pent up sadness inside of her. She looked at the clock, and realised she couldn't ring Rocky because she was still out on her date, with David.
Truth be told, she partly blamed David, because if he hadn't been dating Rocky then Rocky would've seen what a state Cece was in that night - in fact, Rocky would've not left Cece on her own and it wouldn't've happened at all. She hated David for making her friend so happy that the friend didn't notice her pain.
After thinking that, frustration welled up inside Cece. Not at David, but at herself. How could she be so selfish? No wonder this happened to her; it was because she was so conceited. Anger and sadness and hatred welled inside of her. She needed a release for it all.
Storming to the bathroom, she tried to think of a solution. She could splash her face with water, write awful things on the mirror?
She tried both, when she reached the bathroom, but the feelings remains, grew almost. Staring at the nasty words she'd written around her reflection, self-hatred brew deeper.
She deserved it. She was nasty and evil. Conceited. A jerk. A terrible friend. Jealous. Malicious. Worthless.
Without realising what she was doing, she smashed the mirror with her fist – hoping to rid her reflection. It was as the mirror broke that she got her idea on how to release her hurt.
What she did next, she was not proud of.
"I'm breaking; I cant do this on my own.
Can you hear me screaming out, am I all alone?"
Song = Take It All Away – Red
Review?