De Immortalitate – Immortality

Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended at any point.

It's already Saturday here! You've been so kind in your reviews that Romanward was looking forward meeting you all once again :) Speaking of meetings, I've spent a wonderful evening with two wonderful girls I met in this fandom. Thank you for everything, dear Chacha and Elena, I'm so glad we met. We discussed Romanward, of course, and we had lasagna, red wine and tiramisu. No Esma's pear pie, though.

Chapter 16 – Fate

"Ac veluti folia arentis liquere corollas,

quae passim calathis strata natare vides,

sic nobis, qui nunc magnum spiramus amantes,

forsitan includet crastina fata dies."

"As the leaves fall from dried garlands,/ as you see them scatter in cups and float/ there, so we, now, the lovers, who hope for great things,/ perhaps fate, tomorrow, will end our day."

(Propertius, The Elegies, II, 15, 51-54)

Bella's POV

"Wait for me in the library," Antonius instructed. "I have to find a way to escape Felix." His voice dripped with anger as he spoke his father's name.

I tried to object. "If you get in trouble because of me–"

"I won't," he interrupted. "When it's done, I'll come get you."

I paced the library, lost among the memories of the moments Antonius and I had shared there. The first time I had entered it, the shelves full of literary and philosophical works had impressed me. Then I had learned how to put away the manuscripts properly, where to find the Greek works and the Latin ones. I could recognize at once Antonius' favorite scrolls. My fingers glided over one of them, looking for a distraction.

I would have liked to know Antonius as he was before Felix's return. Many times since I had come to his villa, I had wondered who my master truly was. My question had become: who was the man I had fallen in love with? I could imagine him as a boy, studying in the library. The idea of a younger Antonius struggling with Greek grammar made me smile. Closing my eyes, I could almost see him, impatient to go outside to play, luring his preceptor into giving him a longer break from the study. What had happened to that carefree boy? Was he lost forever?

It wasn't difficult to imagine that Antonius' mother must have been proud of him. I could tell it just by the way Esma always spoke about him. He was a strong and brave man. He cared about righteousness. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled, Jesus had said. Felix must have been blind not to see the worth of his son.

I had seen Antonius happy. After seeing him smiling, how could anybody possibly want to rob him of anything? He was so easy to love. How could his own father want to take his freedom from him? Fears and hopes were fighting against each other in my heart while I waited for any news from Antonius. I tried to pray, and the words of a Psalm came to mind:

I sought the Lord, and He answered me;

He delivered me from all my fears.

I recalled the times God had protected me. When I had been enslaved, I had thought that I was going to die; instead, God had helped me through Esma and Antonius.

The lions may grow weak and hungry,

but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

These words made me shiver. Antonius and I were truly facing a lion. I begged God to listen to me, since He was the only one who could deliver Antonius and me from the trouble we were in.

"Bella," a man called to me, standing in the doorway. I didn't know his name, but he was a servant I had already seen at the house. "The master wants to see you immediately. Follow me," he urged.

Antonius' POV

Alone in my office, I tried to find out how much money and jewelry I could gather. The names of the friends I could get in contact with passed through my mind. Emeritus seemed to be the best option. He had ended his military career and was pursuing his political one in Rome. We had been like brothers in war; I could send him gifts of jewelry and gold to repay whatever he would be able to do to ensure Bella's safety. He had a family; he could pretend that Bella was a new servant who would help his wife. I pulled at my hair, exasperated. Emeritus had a child to keep safe, too. What would happen if Felix discovered Bella was hiding with them? How could I dare to risk their lives?

There weren't other options, though. Iacomus' betrayal had already proven that Bella couldn't stay in the villa or on the farm anymore. I felt angered just thinking about Iacomus and his wife. I was aware that, by kicking them out, I had probably damned them to death: once they had been discovered, they had become no more than two inconvenient witnesses. The monsters that helped Felix, serving as messengers for him, had no need to keep them alive. Regardless, my resentment toward them prevented me from regretting my murderous thoughts.

Since Iacomus and Victoria had been chased away from the house, I had hoped that Felix was lacking his primary source of information, at least for a few days. But when I had received his last letter I had realized that, if he wasn't already close to the villa, his emissaries were around it. I recalculated the time that a messenger needed to go from the villa to Volterra and keep Felix posted, but my efforts were likely futile. Felix had said that he was extremely fast. Were there other creatures like him? Was he using them as emissaries? I thought about the fastest horses I had seen. Could Felix's men be even faster than them?

I considered the horses in my stables. One of the clientes could take the fastest one and bring my message to Emeritus. Since the clientes went back and forth from the villa to the market, I could pretend that Bella was to be sold in the city, as could happen to any other slave.

The memory of Alica's death shook me again. I couldn't risk Felix taking Bella to the same fate as he had Alica. Bella had to disappear before Felix could get her. I thought about the look Bella had given me when I had sent her to wait for me in the library. She trusted me. Could I prove that I was worthy of her trust? It would have been enough. My only hope was that Felix would take his revenge on me and not on an innocent person. Not on her.

"Sextius!" I called.

He immediately joined me.

"My father will arrive in a matter of days," I told him. "I'll leave with him." Just the thought made me cringe. "You'll be in charge of the villa and the servants," I instructed.

Sextius nodded.

I swallowed a lump in my throat, thinking about what I was going to ask him to do. "If I don't come back," I began. Sextius' eyes widened. "Within a moon," I rushed to add, "I want you to do your utmost to protect Esma. Take care of her as if she were your own mother."

Again, he nodded. Then, as if he had read my thoughts, he reinforced his commitment. "I swear on my life, Master."

"Thank you," I told him, not only for what he was currently doing, but for everything he had done in the years he had been at the house. It was a farewell for me.

"You know where I keep the money," I told him. "Go get it and bring it back to me."

I retrieved my seal and prepared another letter to give to Emeritus if he accepted the charge of caring for Bella. It was the last thing to do before joining Bella and waiting for an answer, hoping that it would arrive before Felix.

Collapsed on a chair, I let my thoughts wander. The memory of Bella's scent, of the way she reacted to my caresses, of the feeling of her cheek pressed against my chest, filled my mind and wrapped around my heart. When I had brought her back from the farm, I had wished to have at least a day to live, just to get the opportunity to tell her how much I cared for her. I had had it – but it wasn't enough. I wasn't ready to let her go. If living meant that I could be with Bella, then I would devote myself to life. I wanted to make her smile again. I wanted to feel her melting in my arms.

Only since I had fallen in love with Bella could I understand how much my friend Emeritus had missed his wife. The memory of our conversations in the military camp took on a new meaning for me. For years, I had been with my fellow soldiers, thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking besides my own glory. When I was in the army, I hadn't anyone to care for and to miss in that way.

Could I beg Bella's god to leave her with me? Was that unknown god really willing to listen to me, like Bella had told me that night in the garden? I was going to offer everything to him. Everything but her.

The sound of footsteps on the corridor told me that someone was arriving in a rush. Then there was a knock on the door. Sextius was already back, but he didn't have the bag of money in his hands. "What happened?" I asked.

"Master," he blurted, "your father is here."

Everything was swept away in front of my eyes: my plans, the message I had sent, the slight hope to save Bella.

Forgive me, Bella. I didn't even have time enough to say it to her.

"Sextius, listen to me," I ordered. "Bella is in the library. Go get her and leave her in Esma's care. Whatever happens, protect them. Don't lose sight of them, not even for a second. I'll meet my father in the atrium. Tell Bella that I had to go." My voice broke. I took a breath and made my tone firm, hoping that Sextius hadn't noticed my emotion. "She must not come to me for any reason, understood?"

Again I wished I had a god to pray to, someone to ask for advice. Even when I had been ready to die fighting in war, I had imagined my death surrounded by an army. In front of Felix I felt utterly alone.

Felix wasn't in the atrium; I reached him in the front garden. Even without his armor, his posture resembled the one of a warrior. I cringed, recalling how much I had admired him when I was a boy and I had seen him wearing his helmet and sword. The father who once had made me feel safe had become my enemy.

"Ave, Felix," I greeted him.

"Ave et tu, Antonius." He hadn't called me son, nor had smiled at me. "It's a pleasure to see you again." As the clever man and the astute politician he was, he knew that I wasn't expecting his premature visit.

I looked him square in the eyes, as if I was sizing up an enemy on the battlefield. A half-grin was his silent reaction. There was nothing I could do without him knowing. He still had the upper hand.

"You mentioned that you wanted me to meet someone," I reminded him.

He nodded. "You remember well."

I turned back and gave a last glance to the home where I was born. The clouds kept it in shadows. Because of Felix, my home had been my prison, and yet it had become the place where I had found love. I wondered if I was ever going to come back. Not only was my life in Felix's hands, but I would remain a human only as long as he allowed. Hadn't he proudly reaffirmed it more than once in the past?

"I'm ready to go," I declared. Even if Felix was taking me toward Tartarus, I was ready to sacrifice anything for Bella's safety.

He frowned, as if he weren't expecting that I didn't put up a fight to avoid leaving with him. "Don't you need anything for the journey?" he asked.

"I'm fine," I answered curtly. As long as Felix was away from the house, Bella would be safe. Again, I was leaving her–and Esma–without the opportunity to say goodbye. This time Bella knows that you love her, I told to myself. The memory of her kisses was still on my lips. None could steal from me the joy Bella had given me by accepting my love and loving me in turn. I'm yours, Bella, I thought. Until my last breath, my soul will stay with you.

Felix motioned to a chariot, and we climbed on it alone. He didn't take any servants, nor did he speak even a word about the slaves or about Bella. Was it a good sign? Was it going to be just a final confrontation between him and me, as I hoped?

He cracked the whip, urging the horses onward. I turned back one last time, but the villa was already too far away to be seen. A thought made me shudder: what if my home was already in the hands of other monsters like Felix?

Only you can write your review. Thanks for reading!

A/N

Emeritus is Emmett; we met him in chapter 4.

Tartarus was the region of torments in Roman underworld.

Romanward gratias agit to Camilla10, LJSummers, Duskwatcher2153, Marlena516, and Jmolly. Don't miss their stories! Thanks to Project Team Beta.

I'm on Twitter (RaumTweet)
Twific recs and reviews, story extras and writing tips: http : / / myreadinglounge. blogspot. com/

Romanward's thread on Twilighted: http : / / www . twilighted. net / forum/ viewtopic. php?f=33&t=17195