Chapter 27
Broken bonds
I'm married! I can't believe it, but there is more than enough proof it's true. The ceremony was more than I could have ever dreamed, though not as simple as I would have chosen. At least we had the music as we wanted it. The reception is beginning to tire me out after so many preparations. I just want to be with Stefan. I want to take his hand and sneak off and hide somewhere and be alone. But after only one dance, these silly traditions are keeping us apart.
At first the dancing is fun, but I'm starting to get the feeling that it could go on all night. When Aro takes me in his arms, there's something that bothers me in the way he looks down at me, almost like he owns me. I notice that Stefan is dancing with Sulpicia, which shocks me since she tried to kill me. Aro laughs, making me remember that he's likely reading my thoughts. Creep - read that!
"Summer, my dear, you are always so refreshingly honest." His laughing voice is too close to my ear.
"I'm sorry I can't say the same Aro." He laughs and twirls me around the dance floor, lighter on his feet than any ballerina ever dreamed.
"Why thank you." He acknowledges my unspoken compliment.
"Stay out of my head, or I'm going to think some truly nasty thoughts." I imagine the most vile rest area bathroom, then go on to think of a porta potty ripening in the sun.
"Is that the best you can do? I was around before indoor plumbing, when sewage ran in the streets; I've seen the death from the bubonic plague, where bodies were stacked up and burned. You should be glad I can't send thoughts."
I smile sweetly and think of kissing Stefan. I think of undressing him, and touching him, and looking up at him as we make love.
"Fine – you win! I'll leave you to your own thoughts Mrs. Vasilakis." He comes to a stop and twirls me once more, then bows and steps away. I am still grinning at the victory when he takes my hand. Marcus pulls me to him just as I'm heading to sit down. "One more dance, please." He's formally polite, and I'm afraid of offending him by saying no. We move along the edge of the crowd, and I see Stefan dancing with a petite woman. It takes me a few seconds to realize it's Jane; I recognize her from his vivid description of the sadistic teenage vampire. Her dancing has everyone's attention, including mine, and I suddenly realizes I'm no longer on the dance floor.
"I have something important to show you... come this way." He again doesn't wait, but leads me through the guests and out into the hallway. "Can you see that car outside?" He pulls me to the doorway, and I notice his mask of polite formality had slipped. He looks at me with intense hatred and frightening maniacal glee. "That's the car I'm driving when I take you to the place where I'm going to kill you." His arms are like steel cables wrapped around me, and his hand on my mouth cuts off sound and almost my air. So fast we are out the door, but I manage a scream as he throws me into the car and locks me inside.
I want to open the door and jump, but he drives so fast and with such precision I instead use the seatbelt to keep from being tossed around the car like a rag doll. I try to take the keys out of the ignition, but he easily catches my hand in a vise like grip. He barely glances my way as he threatens me. "Do not try to thwart me! If I have to crush the bones in your hand first, I will still accomplish my goal. Your well-being is not of my concern."
"Why? Marcus, why are you doing this?" I try to stay calm, but I can hear the panic in my own voice.
"You could not possibly understand. Only one of my kind even has a hope of understanding the depth of my loss. He will know!"
"You're wrong. This has nothing to do with Didyme." His head snaps my way so fast I worry he will wreck the car.
"You have no right to say her name!"
"What are you going to do, kill me deader?" I laugh. "Do you really think she would want this? It seems to me that a woman who could inspire such devotion would be above taking revenge."
"Shut up! You didn't know her!" Marcus looks like he's coming apart at the seams.
"I'm sorry." I try to calm him. "Will you tell me about her?"
His supernaturally beautiful face contorts into an agonized grimace of horror. "I... can't! Don't you see?" His words seem to tear up out of him as if they cause him extreme pain. "I can never... ! There is nothing but pain! She's GONE!" The agony is as real to him as it was when it happened. I had once thought that Stefan held on to a lot of pain and horror, but Marcus is trapped in a moment that defines him.
"It's not his fault." His red eyes glare my way and he snarls through gritted teeth. "You don't want to hear it, but Chelsea was supposed to kill one of you. One of the three Volturi."
"I KNOW!" His hands grip the wheel and squeeze, and the metal bends. "I couldn't save her – she died for me." He glances at me. "Just like you'll die for him."
I ride silently into the dark with him, trying to think of a way to lessen the pain for Stefan when he discovers what's happened. I take the time to pull all the pins out of my hair and let it fall. I run my fingers through the curls that are no longer piled on my head. I also pull off the high heeled shoes, and reach up under the dress to untie the crinoline slip and pull it out from under the gown. Without asking I roll the window down and toss out the slip. I look his way and he grins.
"Leaving a trail for your husband to follow? Please do. You are such a pretty woman. Tell me, why would you want to be with a killer?"
"I love him."
"Oh come on, I already knew that. Why put yourself at risk? I imagine you could have any man you desired... any human man that is."
"I thought you knew. I guess Aro didn't share all my secrets after all." I sigh. "Even before you took me, I didn't have long to live. I've got a disease that will weaken me and leave me wishing I were dead. With Stefan, I know that when the time comes, he'll end me, or someone he knows would be able to do it."
He laughs derisively. "You're with a killer because you've got a death wish. You should know he won't do it. He'll make you one of us first. Not that he will get the chance now. But he loves you too much to let you go. I can sense these things... and he's so connected to you, this will kill him for sure." His voice is cold and detached, and even a little amused.
Tears trickle down my face. "Is there anything I can do to make you change your mind?"
"Oh how touching that you want to spare him the pain." His voice is poisonous with sarcasm. "I used to know someone like that, but he took her from me."
'You've done worse to him." He's making me angry, sitting up on his high horse like he's the only one with a right to his misery.
"You have no idea what you're talking about. You cannot possibly think that squalid little community was worth the life of my beloved. The beginnings of an empire they say – it was foolishness! He had no right to kill her." He's almost foaming at the mouth he's so upset.
"I think he did. I think if anyone had a right to seek revenge it was Stefan." I've forgotten how strong and fast he is. His hand is on my throat, cutting off my air, and I realize he's holding back as he could easily snap it. "Do it." I whisper with the little air I have left. I don't want to die, but if it means that Stefan won't have to witness it, this would be better. Instead he lets go. As soon as I can breath normally I continue where I left off.
"You've already done this to him once. How many times do you get to take revenge Marcus? Did you forget about Tessa in your scheme? You must have been there when his whole family was slaughtered. Did you get a vote when Caius came up with the plan that would make him kill the one he loved? Which one of you brave souls fed on his infant son?"
"That's enough, I don't have to listen to these lies!"
"Are you kidding me? Are you going to deny that you knew the way they tried to break him? You took everything that mattered to him. Everyone who tied him to his humanity. You lost a wife, and I am sorry, but he lost his love, his son, his family, and his home! And that 'squalid little community' was his hope and his dream... so of course you destroyed that too!"
"But now he has you. He was able to move on... I have not!"
"Do you know what he was doing when I found him? Noth-ing! Absolutely nothing...except waiting to die. He was hidden away with his books and his writing, and his collections of memories, gathering dust. He was a living relic... just like you. How arrogant of you to think you have a monopoly on pain. I don't care how perfect she was or how much you loved her, you made a choice to be miserable. And it's incredibly selfish of you to want everyone else to suffer like you do."
"Do you ever shut up? Madre del dio, how can he stand you? You keep chattering over things you know little to nothing about. Do us both a favor and save your air for the screaming, you are going to do quite a lot before I'm finished."
I don't think I'm getting through to him, so I sit back and worry in silence. The miles of the countryside disappear at speeds that no one should be able to drive, but he does so effortlessly. I'm not sure how long we drive, but the silence wears on me. "Talk to me Marcus... please. You don't like to listen to me, but I can't take the silence." I put my feet on the edge of the seat and hug my knees.
"I prefer silence." He drives without even looking.
I sing instead. I wish for Stefan's voice, or even Vladmir's as I softly sing The Sound of Silence, one of Stefan's favorites. "Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again..." I continue singing, and he doesn't seem to mind. The words are somehow soothing, even though the song is far from cheerful. The song that comes to mind next is one that reminds me of my dad and my grandmother. I fight not to cry as I sing "One Sweet Day."
I finish singing and I swear he grins as he looks over at me. "I'll have to remember that one, maybe we can play it at your funeral. You think you're going to change my mind with pretty words? My kind are masters of beautiful words."
"That one's not for you. I know I won't reach you because you don't want to be reached. You like living in pain. You've put on sackcloth and ashes and you don't want to change. It's pathetic, really. I don't understand why you just didn't follow her into the flames. Find a live volcano and throw yourself in – save a lot of lives in the process."
"When that day comes, you will be long gone." With those words he turns onto a gravel road, which goes about half a mile and ends at a secluded home. He's at my door even before I realize he's parked, and he lifts me out of the seat. He carries me to the door, and I'm shocked when Demetri opens it without even a knock. "Looks like I'll be carrying the bride over the threshold."
He steps into the room, and I'm surprised how welcoming it feels. There's a fire in the large stone fireplace, and the lighting is soft and warm. He continues to hold me as he glances around.
"Careful, she has some kind of weird power that makes men want to be with her." Demetri speaks over my head like I'm not real.
"She doesn't affect me. I almost wish she did. My ability lets me know there's no real connection between us. But maybe you should keep your distance. Have you found a victim yet?"
"Of course, he's right back here." Demetri leads, and I am carried along with Marcus. In a bedroom at the back of the house they have a man tied up. He's sitting on the floor of an empty room, with his mouth taped shut and his hands bound behind him. As soon as he sees Demetri he scoots as far away as he can, clearly terrified.
"Oh my god!" I try to struggle, but Marcus holds me tight. "Why do you need him, I thought the idea was to feed on me?
They laugh as we move back into the main room. Marcus puts his nose close to my throat, and inhales. "Ah, that would be tempting. But that's not exactly the plan. I want this to be an equal trade. If I kill you now, Stefan will miss, what, thirty good years with you at best. But if I want him to know true suffering, he needs to know that he could have had forever. I'm going to change you first, Summer. The man in the room back there isn't for us, he's for you."
I fight, I scream, I beg, and he laughs. "Marcus, Demetri..." I look at both of them in a panic. "I'll do anything... anything, if you don't change me! Please don't make me a murderer! Let the man go, you want to kill me anyway, why do I need to feed after I'm changed?" Marcus finally puts me down and I collapse onto the floor. "Demetri, don't let him do this... please!"
"I think she's forgotten who's the boss." He laughs. "Marcus clearly outranks me, I can't directly disobey an order, even if I wanted to. And I really don't want to."
"I could be yours." I look up into his eyes and stand. "He may be in charge, but we all know, you're stronger." I step closer to him. "I can be yours, Demetri... any way you want." I reach out and tentatively touch his chest. One more step brings me close enough I can slide my hands up his chest and I touch his face. "Protect me Demetri, I'll make it up to you any way I can."
I know he's a hunter, and he's the reason I've been brought to Italy in the first place, but he's my only hope. I feel his arms sliding around me. My body trembles at his nearness, and he leans toward me as I close my eyes. I feel his lips touch mine, and he's not Stefan. I want to pull back, but he pulls me to him almost painfully, and his mouth possesses mine. The hunter knows how not to break me, but as his lips leave mine I hear him growl from deep in his chest, as his mouth moves over my throat. He wants me in an even more visceral way than I offered. If he kills me now, Stefan won't have to see it, and I won't become a killer.
"Do it Demetri." I wrap my arms around his head and hold him close. I hope it won't hurt much. The pain I feel is from my head instead. Marcus has me by the hair, pulling me away from Demetri, as he pushes the hunter out of the way.
"Demetri, maybe you need to go patrol outside!" It's not a suggestion, its an order, but he looks at me with longing as he heads for the door. The door closes and I'm left with Marcus – bitter, angry, vengeful, hate-filled, Marcus. He drags me through the house to the bedroom furthest from the prisoner. "Is that what you've done to Stefan? Did you offer up your body and trap him in some kind of sick sexual snare? How laughable. He loves you so deeply it's painful for me to even feel his connection to you. And you're nothing more than a common whore!"
I slap his face, but I remember too late it's like hitting a stone. The pain I feel tells me that something is broken, but I'm so angry I don't care. "I was a virgin when I met him! He didn't fall in love with me because of my body. You have no idea what love is, you're nothing but a monster!" I look around the room for some kind of weapon to use – not on him, but on myself.
He pulls me to him, and holds me tight, before I can throw a statuette into the mirror and turn it into glass shards. "Why does he love you? What did you do to him? You are such an annoying creature, tell me what it is! What turned the living relic into a lovesick fool?" He's angry, but he's desperate to know as well.
"Absolution."
"What do you mean? You can't give that." He's angry and confused, and I'm afraid he could break me in half in his distress.
"Why do you even care? You never wanted to get over Didyme, or you would have after all this time."
His hands hold my face close to his own, and his red eyes bore into mine. "I have tried. I can't do it. I can still see her face... her eyes. She is always... "
"She is always with you. I know." I lay my hands against his cheeks and remember how Stefan told me about Tessa.
"How could you know? How could you know how her face haunts me?" He still holds me, and he sinks to the floor, taking me with him.
"When we love someone, they always stay with us. But this isn't love this is guilt, that's why she haunts you. You're afraid that if you let go of the guilt, you'll lose her." I put my arms around him and whisper in his ear. "Tell me about her Marcus, aren't you ready now."
"I don't know how!"
"Tell me some little detail. What color was her hair?"
"It was light brown... it was bronze in the sun, and it was so long and thick it took all day to dry after she washed it. She kept it braided most of the time, but when it was free... it was the most beautiful sight. She was so beautiful, and not because she had a perfect face, but because she was so happy. She was light like I've never seen, even when she became one of us. Aro changed her because I was afraid to do it myself. I held her through the change as she begged me to kill her." I'm crying, sitting on his lap with my head resting against his chest. It's like a dam has broken and his words gush freely. He tells me so much about her I feel as if I knew her.
"It's my fault she was with us. She didn't want to go to war, but I didn't want to go without her. She was supposed to stay in the back where it was safe, but when Jane attacked me, she came to my rescue. Her ability wasn't enough to counter Jane, but she helped me endure. In that moment I was reminded of how I'd been with her when she was changed, and how we would always be there for each other. I loved her so much. She was my reason for being."
I can feel his hurt resonating within me, and I cry. Deep wracking sobs pour out of me as I think about all he's lost. I can imagine the happy, innocence of her, and the way she was so brutally attacked.
"Shhh, Marcus... you've carried the guilt and the hatred for too long. You've showed me her gentle spirit and the love you shared. She would never want this for you. There are some rare souls who gladly sacrifice themselves for those they love. She was one of those. Your not honoring her memory by holding on to the guilt. Tell me, wouldn't she rather you plant a tree or a garden in her honor? She would want a bright warm place where you could go and think of her."
He laughs. "Remarkable! She would have loved that. She was always in the gardens. How could you know that?"
"Because you remembered her to me. You've defined her for so long at the moment she died. You haven't let yourself remember her life. Marcus, getting revenge won't bring her back to you. But if you let go of your guilt, you can honor all those wonderful memories she left with you. The song comes into my head, and I sing "In the Arms of an Angel," softly as the tears roll down my cheeks.
He strokes my hair and wipes my tears. For the first time I think he really sees me. "You did this for him? It's not possible he had a loss like mine."
"He's had several. Tessa was his human fiance. Cauis tricked him into trying to turn her by himself, but he killed her instead. They came that night and killed his whole family, including an infant son he'd just found out about. He met Cecelia, and she was your kind, and he loved her. He turned her thirteen year-old son, to save her from doing it herself. The boy couldn't control his thirsts, and Stefan had to destroy them both, even though he loved them.
"And of course you know about their own budding empire. He knew everyone who was killed that day. He'd seen them grow up, they depended on him for their safety and protection. Some of them had been turned, and fought alongside him that day. He watched everything he loved once again being destroyed by the Volturi. And he ordered Chelsea to 'kill Volturi.' He was horrified that she did what she did, but he had nothing left."
"If I could do it over again, I never would have left home."
"We don't get a do over, or at least most of us don't. How many years have you wasted in this one moment? You've been agonizing over her death, instead of celebrating her life. Marcus, you still have time." I reach up to touch his cheek and there's pain in my hand that makes me wince. "Some of us don't have that luxury."
He takes my hand, so gently in his cold ones. "It won't hurt once you're changed."
"My god, you're still going to do it! Hasn't anything I've said made a difference?" I struggle, trying to get up and away from him, but he easily holds me.
"Of course it makes a difference." He smooths my hair, tucking the curls behind my ears. "I'm not going to kill you. You're far too precious for that." His arms slide around me and he presses my head against his shoulder. "You're mine now. You are so like my Didi, I know I can be happy again."
"No! Marcus I'm married. I love Stefan. You don't really feel anything for me, it's this stupid attraction curse." I feel panicked at the thought of him taking me away from Stefan and turning me into a killer.
"Calm down my dear. You've not consummated your marriage, it can be easily annulled. And I know you will love me... Chelsea can make you love me. She will be glad to finally repay what she owes me. We have a connection now – a bond I can feel. It may take time for me to learn to love you, but we will have forever! I'm sure once you learn proper behavior, it will be easier for me to appreciate your physical qualities. Aro will marry us quickly. He will of course remember taking Sulpicia from Vladmir. Would you like to stay human for our wedding night? I can't promise to show restraint, Didi always said I was a passionate lover. No, I should turn you first. We'll go someplace remote... someplace tropical where your screams will blend in with the wild sounds of birds and monkeys..."
He's rambling on, planning a future I don't want, and all I can do is mourn over the thought that the love I feel for Stefan could somehow be given to Marcus, like a shiny bauble he has decided he must have. I fight to get away from him, and he notices my struggles. "I won't let this happen Marcus. Even if you change me, I'll take my own life. I won't live as a killer. And even if you find a way to force me to love you, it won't last. Ask Sulpicia if she still loves Vladmir. She does. I'm always going to love Stefan... he is my reason. You know what I'm talking about."
He smiles down on me and kisses my cheek. "Our kind are the most powerful creatures on the planet. You will be married to one of the most powerful of us. The world will be at your feet. I'll show you things you never dreamed existed. You will forget him. Once you're changed, the things you knew as a human will seem so pale and inconsequential. With your new eyes you'll look at me, and love me like no other. The memories of your humanity will fade, and I won't make the same mistake Aro did and let your old flame near you."
He stops talking and is suddenly alert. I listen and a few minutes later I hear a car outside. He stands and pulls me to him. "Looks like your old flame has made it in record time. Come my dear, I can't wait to share the good news!" I try to refuse, but he easily lifts me, just with his arm around my waist. We step outside as the doors to the sports car in the driveway open, revealing Stefan and Chelsea of all people.
Stefan takes several steps towards me and stops short as Marcus places his mouth against my neck. "I love you Stefan." I whisper, knowing he will hear me.
Marcus lifts his head and glares at my husband. "Make one wrong move and I will be forced to cause her great pain. Chelsea, so glad you came. As you can see, there's been a little change in plans. Summer has convinced me that she would make an excellent mate – for me. Your debt to me can finally be paid in full. You cost me a loving wife, now you can give me back what you've taken."
Stefan looks her way in horror. "Chelsea, you can't... "
The pain in my arm makes me cry out as Marcus twists it up high behind me. "I mean it Orator, don't interfere. I'll break her into pieces while you watch." I think that he is about to charge Marcus, but Demetri shows up, silently guarding Marcus from the shadows. "Chelsea, do what you do best, break her ties to him and give her to me."
"Noooo!" His voice cuts into me like a blade that hurts worse than my arm being dislocated. The popping noise stops his cry, but I can still see the grief on his face.
Chelsea steps closer to us. "It's good to see that this is finally going to be over." She looks me in the eyes, and I try to turn away, but Marcus won't allow it. "I don't have to look at her for this to work, I just wanted a good look at the one who's gotten through to you where no one else could." I look away, and my eyes find Stefan, staring my way, with fear, love, and loss all taking turns on his face. I feel her then, probing into my mind, seeking a weakness to pull on. Is it his love I doubt? His loyalty? Does he put Vladmir ahead of me? Am I jealous of his past? Do I want something he can't give me? I can feel each test as she tries to find something to pull me from him. She renews her efforts. Am I afraid of him? Do I want him to change me? Do I not? She digs harder. He's a monster, a killer, an evil creature who will possess you and take you to hell. He will destroy you, he will forget you, he will leave you alone and broken. She has found my weakness, but she doesn't realize that I've already overcome them, and I love him anyway. I know who and what he is, and I love every part of him. I've even accepted that he may some day try to change me, and it doesn't make me love him less.
"I will always love you Stefan." I can ignore her now. She can't turn me.
She looks at Marcus, defeated. "I can't. She loves him with everything in her. She's like Isabella Swan or Mary Alice Whitlock; I can't do anything with such strong devotion."
"You're just not trying hard enough. Your stupidity is costing me what I want!" He drops me when she punches him in the face.
A split second later I am in Stefan's arms as he quietly warns Demetri "don't touch us again." Chelsea's scream of rage cut the silence of the night.
"I've been your puppet for hundreds of years. I've tried everything I can to make up for my one mistake. I love you Marcus! You more than anyone should know it's true. And now you parade this human woman in front of me and tell me she will be your wife? You are insane! We belong together, we always have. Don't you remember how good it was between us before she died? You loved me then, Marcus. You know I can't steal loyalty for myself, it has to be freely given, and you did that. Your wife was sweet, but she didn't understand you. She had the power to make you happy, but it wasn't working on you anymore. How could you have forgotten?"
Stefan moves me slowly to his car and holds the door as I slip into the low seat. The pain in my arm makes me gasp, but he fastens me into the seat and closes the door. On the way back down the drive we meet up with Vladmir. "I've got her. I don't know about you, but I don't have any reason to go back to Volterra. I'm taking her to the airport, and we're getting the hell out of Italy!"
Vladmir looks my way to reassure himself that I'm okay and smiles. "Looks like you can finally start your honeymoon. I'll go back and tell everyone you're both okay, and let then know they can pick up the car at the airport. Send me an email when you want to meet up again. I think I'll head back to the boat after I tie up everything here. Good luck my brother."
We drive into the darkness as he clutches my hand like he'll never let it go. I try to explain all that's happened, but I realize after the first dangerous detail he hears, it is best to leave out some parts of the story.
"I can't believe it. You go to Volterra just one time, and now Marcus wants you, Aro wants you, and Caius wants to kill you. We are definitely getting as far away from here as possible!"
"Stefan, how are we supposed to do that? We left with nothing."
He grins. "It's the information age. I have my account numbers memorized. Someone showed me how easily everything works." By the time we park at the airport he's been to a bank to withdraw money from his account. As soon as we get out he pops my shoulder back in place like an expert. It hurts like crazy, but the pain passes quickly when he pulls me to him and kisses me.
I'm suddenly reminded that we are married, and he is my husband. He leaves the car locked up with the keys under the mat. We attract a lot of attention in our wedding outfits, even though my gown has quite a bit of dirt on it.. We stop in a gift shop, and buy jeans and souvenir T-shirts. I have to buy shoes since I don't have any. I hate to abuse my gown further, but I have to wad it up and stuff it into a carry on bag, or leave it behind.
We charter a private plane since our passports are back at Volterra. Stefan grins as we board our flight back to Greece. "It may not be my homeland any longer, but I think it's appropriate that we honeymoon in the country where I was born." Once we are in the air I can finally relax, and I realize how nervous I am about being followed or captured again. It's late and I'm so exhausted I snuggle next to him and drift off to sleep.