Chapter 29
The Honeymoon's Over
It seems funny to think that my honeymoon is officially over when I still feel like I'm walking in bliss. We spend several days on the boat just getting it ready to sail again. I'm still not sure where we'll be going next since we've kind of got permission from the Volturi to go about our business without their interference.
I'm happy with the way things are. I'm still surprised to be married, but I love him more every day. Maybe I should be a little less welcoming of Vladmir in our lives, since we are still newlyweds. But there's just something about the dynamics between the two of them. They are friends and brothers, but they are also a couple. In a way it's as if over time they've grown into two halves of a whole. I might eventually take Vladmir's place, but I really don't want to. I've created my own place in his life , and now that he's letting go of the pain in his past, there is plenty of room for me.
I also know that there will come a day when I won't be here, and he will need Vladmir more than ever. We don't talk about it, but it's always there; my unknown expiration date. I try to assure them both that I have years, maybe even decades before I need to worry, but they they look at it as if I only have years or decades.
Once the boat is ready to sail it becomes clear we need a plan. We could continue sailing the Mediterranean and then plan to head back to Romania when the weather gets cooler. I again suggest traveling the west coast of Africa, but they both agree it's too dangerous. It's only after several ideas are ruled out that Vladmir introduces his plan: He wants to cross the Atlantic! The route from the Canary Islands to the Caribbean can take three weeks in good weather. Vladmir is sure of their sailing skills, as well as knowledgeable on repairs and maintenance. But all I hear is three weeks. Stefan has been hunting every five days. Vladmir can easily make it three, but that still leaves us stranded in the ocean with a thirsty vampire for over two weeks. And that's if the weather stays calm and the boat doesn't break down.
Even after all our protests, Vladmir continues to try to convince us. "I want to visit the Americas again. We can take the Panama Canal and sail right to your doorstep, Summer. I know I'm starting to sound repetitive, but the Cullen family is the key to destroying the Volturi...'
"No!" I'm not used to going against what they want, but the mention of the Volturi, after all I've been through is just too much. "If you want to engineer a way to bring about the end of the Volturi, I understand. But you're going to have to do it without me. I'm not going to do or say anything that will put me into further contact with them. If you want to risk an ocean crossing just so you can try to build some kind of offensive force to take on the Volturi, then count me out. I barely got out of there with my life."
I try a different tactic. "Stefan, Vladmir... I love you both, but if you want to work on some kind of empire or revenge plan in hopes of going against the Volturi, just leave me behind." I turn away to head to our room. Stefan catches me before I make it below. He pulls me into his arms and strokes my hair.
"I'm sorry … I just can't... I won't... Stefan, I don't want to lose you – either of you. You know how bad they are. Did you see how their whole organization is based on little power struggles, deceptions, and secrecy? They're so corrupt... and you're better than that. If you still feel like you're going to accomplish something by playing their game, then I can't be with you. I won't watch you go down that path, I know where it leads." He continues to hold me, and I feel a hand on my back and realize Vladmir has put his arms around us as well.
"She's right... we can't play their game. Not that I was planning to, I just thought it best that we find a position of strength." Vladmir tries to explain, and I look up at his face, perched over Stefan's shoulder.
"I will go anywhere you two want to go; any part of the world. I've married into this family, and I'm happy wherever you are. But there is no position of strength they can't tear down. It's those very positions of strength that attract their attention and make them want to strike out." I pull away from them both and find a seat, dropping my head into my hands. When I look up they're both watching me.
"If you want to attempt to cross the Atlantic, I need a better reason than to ally with the Cullens. And I need to hear some kind of plan that doesn't make me think you've lost your mind."
Vladmir comes and takes my hands in his, and squats down in front of me. "I want to get as far away from this area as possible. I don't trust them. You know too much, and even though they promised they wouldn't harass us, they are better liars than I am. They will wait, and bide their time, but as soon as the interest in the Volterra newlyweds dies down, they may come for you. Aro wants you. And now that he's seen the way we built our stronghold before, he's once again interested in us. You are the key, Summer. If he has you, he gets Stefan and me as a bonus."
Stefan comes to sit next to me and wraps his arms around me. Vladmir's eyes are penetrating as he tries to convince me. "I've had a little time to ask questions while we were there. Sulpicia is a complicated woman. She is not quite happy or satisfied, but she won't leave... she told me things that Aro would not have liked. It seems they are outgrowing Volterra. The power of the church is waning, and they are thinking of branching out. They've already started looking for new sites on different continents. If they start another city like Volterra, they're going to need someone who can pull people in and convince them to stay. Aro knows we can do that. I know they can find us anywhere, but I want to make it as difficult as possible for them. I'll come up with a way to make it work, Summer, but I think it would be best to put an ocean between us."
"So, why don't we just sell the boat and fly? We can be in California in a day." I don't understand why he wants to take such a dangerous trip.
"It's the ocean. There's only one tracker who can find us once we take to the water, and he's likely not going to want to come after us. The stunt Marcus pulled cost him; apparently there are rules that weren't followed. But even if they can track us, the boat gives us a measure of mobility the Volturi aren't known for. The boat gives us a place to live and a means to be anywhere where there's water. It gives us the opportunity to be ourselves and not have to worry about being seen in the daylight. It's a kind of freedom we usually don't have." He smiles up at me, and I realize his red eyes make me just a bit more wary of him.
"But it's so dangerous. I mean, not just for me, you too. Boats have been known to sink; what happens to you then?"
He grins at Stefan. "You haven't told her much about us have you?" He pats my cheek. "It's too sweet that you're so concerned about us, but we can survive much worse... trust me. We just need to answer the question of how Stefan is to feed, right? If all else fails, I can sail the boat alone... I'll just throw him overboard to save your pretty skin." He shrugs and laughs as Stefan harrumphs. "There are certain supplies we can take... animals, donated blood,..."
"But I thought you couldn't drink donated blood? And that if you did it wasn't enough to live on?" I'm confused by it all.
Stefan speaks. "We can drink donated blood... sometimes the chemicals make us sick, but we can actually purchase it without those additives. And we can survive on it for a short time. It's not pleasant, but it would work." I get the feeling he's trying to support Vladmir in his effort, so long as it doesn't put me at risk.
"We can also join a large regatta," Vladmir explains, "and as long as we don't lose the group entirely, we'd have people we could call upon for help."
"How's that go? 'Mayday, we're hungry and we need a few people we can suck dry?' That might work for you, but not for me!" The thought of putting someone else at risk horrifies me.
"No, I mean help if something broke, or if we needed a rescue. It's not difficult for those with experience. We sail down to the Canary Islands, supply the boat, join a regatta, and after the hurricane season passes we set sail. We catch the trade winds, keep a steady pace and arrive in the Caribbean in a few weeks. Simple." He says the last with a flourish of his hands
I look between the two of them. Vladmir is clearly the leader in this dynamic, and I get the feeling that Stefan is the one who makes his decisions work. I hate being cast as the naysayer. "I tell you what... how about we do the preliminary work. We can sail the Mediterranean and through the Strait of Gibraltar. Make our way down to the Canaries and just see how things look? It might give me a chance to take a class or two on sailing once we get there. We can see how rough the hurricane season is, and ask around about groups making the crossing. If it looks too chancy, Stefan and I can fly across, you can hire someone to help you sail across, and we can meet you in the Caribbean and try not to look too smug about our weeks alone in paradise."
Vladmir takes my face in his hands and kisses my forehead excitedly. "You're beautiful! Stefan, you better keep this woman happy, or I will steal her away from you." He's off and running, making preparations to set sail.
Later that night when we're alone in our bed I list my worries. "It's my fault you're having to feed more often. If we do this, I could easily push you over the edge and you'd wind up having a funeral when you arrived instead of celebrating." I think for a minute. "Why don't I fly across alone and you two can sail? Minimal risk for everyone involved."
He growled. "It leaves you alone and unprotected. And if I fly with you it leaves him alone. Not that he couldn't sail alone, but if something were to happen, we might never find him." I could almost feel the sadness he has over that thought.
"So why don't we all fly across, and... hire someone to bring the boat across? We might get stuck in the Caribbean for a couple weeks, but at least we'd be alive and well." I could see he's considering my idea.
"We will see. I like your idea, but I'm not sure Vladmir will appreciate it. He's got a more adventurous spirit. He will think that you don't trust in his abilities."
"I trust him, but he's immortal and indestructible, and I'm not."
"You don't have to keep saying that!" He sounds angry. "I know you're going to die. I live with that knowledge constantly. Every time I see you smile I have to wonder if it's the last time. Every time you wake up in the morning I'm relieved that you haven't died in your sleep. I fight a constant battle with myself not to be afraid to love you, and enjoy being with you. There is a fear in me that watches over you, just waiting for you to get hurt, or fall ill, because I know then I could lose you, and there's not a damn thing you'll let me do!"
I hold him as tightly as possible. "I'm sorry." I don't know what else I can say. It's starting to feel like this is our only conflict, the one thing we can't resolve or really get past. "I love you, Stefan. I'll try to remember not to bring it up. I kiss him softly, and he holds me possessively and kisses me with a passion that takes my breath away. When we make love, it's a struggle as I try to make him relax, and he fights to maintain control. It's a dance that never ceases to drive me crazy and make me happy to be his wife. Once we returned to the boat after our honeymoon, I was no longer concerned if Vladmir heard what we were up to or not. I'm so beyond being embarrassed by the way I feel for him, my only regret would be if it hurt Vladmir's feelings. I lie spent and naked in his arms and fall into dreams that I won't remember in the morning.
It surprises me that overnight we have set sail. Vladmir smiles down from the captain's chair as I step out from below. We're in open water, and the sun is bright overhead. I stare in stunned disbelief as both of them are wearing nothing but bathing suits. Stefan in black trunks and Vladmir in a red Speedo that makes me look away embarrassed as soon as I get my eyes under control. They both laugh at me, and Vladmir happily explains that they are enjoying a time of being free of Volturi law. I duck back below and change into my own bikini and join my husband above. He's warmed by the sun, and I can't help but stare at him before he rubs lotion on my shoulders and back. The way his skin shimmers makes him seem almost like an angel. But the way his hands slide over me reminds me that he clearly is not.
We lie in the sun while Vladmir sails the boat. His little touches and the way he looks at me are doing more to warm me than the sun. When I sit up and take his hand he seems confused for about three seconds, then he follows me down to our room. He's so warm, I don't waste any time losing the bathing suits. I want him. He's so beautiful in the daylight filtering in through the narrow windows. Our skin tones contrast so much it actually looks sexy to me. I push him back on the bed and take possession of him like I never have before, and I love the look of awe on his face.
So much about our time together is about learning each other. Just as he used his mouth to excite me, I intend to return the favor. I kiss down his sun warmed body, and encircle him with my fingers. When I take my first experimental taste of him, he falls back against the pillows and groans deeply. I had heard that it could be nasty, but it's not – at least not with Stefan. I enjoy the feel of him beneath my hands and tongue, and he even smells and tastes good. But what really makes me enjoy it, is the way he enjoys it. His small hip gyrations, his hands petting my hair, and his sounds of pleasure, are all the encouragement I need.
Before he can lose control, I climb up my husband and take him in a way he doesn't expect. Just feeling him beneath me, makes me eager to feel him in me. I guide him until we're gently joined. That's where the gentleness ends. From where I sit atop him, I can move in a way that he can't. I give in to the side of me that wants to be wild and unrestrained with him. The way my body conforms to his makes me sigh. Sweet rising and falling again and again, as I watch his face, and his look of wonder. His hands move over me, touching and caressing my skin, almost reverently.
His hips rise as he fills me, making me gasp and cry out in abandon. I have no shame, as I strive for my release. He sits up and his arms come around me. We move together in a tangle of limbs, frantically kissing and touching as we're both carried away. We collapse together, still wrapped up in each other.
He is a man frozen in time as everything moves forward around him It delights me to behave so wantonly, knowing that such behavior is unfamiliar to him. And he knows that he is the only one who will ever know me in such a way. I sprinkle his face with kisses and whisper I love you's, as I enjoy the remnant of the sun's heat between us.
As we snuggle together I whisper to him: "I wish these days would never end. I'm so happy now I'm afraid the only way to go is down from here."
His smile is wistful. "I too fear this. But I would not change a thing if it meant I wouldn't have you." His kiss is once again beginning to cool, but I don't care. "I have not been happy like this for centuries. I didn't know it was possible to feel so... light. If there's anything you desire, my love, I would move heaven and earth to..."
"Shh... Everything I want is right here I'm crazy in love with you, Stefan. I even love that insane person who's your best friend. You're both my family now, and if I were any happier I'd probably explode with it. And while I'm gushing, can I just say how much I love the bathing suits. I could just sit and stare at you!"
"Now you're starting to understand how I feel about you. When I was human, even a slave girl would not dress like that." His hands move over my body, making me sigh.
"Do I need to wear something else? I don't want to be improper as your wife." I raise my eyes flirtatiously.
He growls deep in his chest. "Summer, your wardrobe used to concern me more than it should have. Wear whatever you like, I'm interested in the woman inside the clothes. But those bathing suits are so... they make me..."
"Should I stop wearing them? I don't want to make you... suffer in any way." I smile teasingly.
"No! I love the way you look. Your skin turns such a lovely golden brown, and when you take it off... " He kisses down my body, lingering over the places he's uncovered. "You are the colors of fresh baked bread, but more tantalizing than bread ever could be." I pull him back up beside me. It takes so little to make me want him, and yet it feels almost naughty to be slipping away in broad daylight.
"We should probably get up. It's not very nice to leave Vladmir all by himself while we're so obvious about what we're doing."
"Let him suffer! I simply consider this recompense for pretending to be your fiance' and kissing you. Not to mention the close call while we were locked up." He looks at me like he'd gladly make love to me again, but I pull away instead.
"Stefan, he was only trying to protect us."
"I know him Summer. He may have been protecting us, but it also amused him that he could do those things with you. Ask him, he'll tell you." He kisses me and pulls me to him. As much as I want to make love with him I want to clear the air even more.
"Stefan... I don't want to come between you." He looks at me like he's confused. "You two have been together a lot longer than we ever will. I don't ever want to be a problem, or something that separates you. I love you, and I'm committed to you, but I know he's part of the deal. I think of him like a brother, or maybe a brother-in-law. He's family to me too. I'm not Sulpicia and I won't feel jealous over your relationship."
"You are my wife. My loyalty is with you. Vladmir will understand – we know each other well enough." He kisses me, almost distracting me.
"That's what I mean. I don't want you to change your friendship. You don't have to get even for what he did. I never feel like you're neglecting me, and I don't want you to think you have to put me in his place. I don't want to have to follow traditional roles. I just want to be with you, and I don't want to see you twist yourself into something you're not in order to satisfy me. We didn't create a family, Stefan, I joined yours, and I like it that way. I like being part of a trio."
He pulls away from me and sits up. Whatever goes through his mind makes him stare at a space on the floor. "I am unfamiliar with modern relationships." He takes a deep breath before asking, "Summer, are you trying to tell me you want him to... share our bed?"
Oh my god! "No! No, no, no, no, no! I'm a modern woman, but not that modern!" I try not to laugh at his obvious concern. "Stefan, it's only you I love that way. Only you. You're the one who makes my pulse race. You're the one who holds my heart. I feel agape for you...eros for you. I only feel philia for Vladmir."
He grins over his shoulder. "Your Greek is weak, but I understand. You had me worried for a minute. I don't think I could share you, even if that's what you wanted. And he would be insufferable if he thought you wanted him."
I giggle. "Careful, he might hear you"
"I hope he does hear me!" He raises his voice and looks to the ceiling. "I won't share you, you're mine!" He reaches for me and we tumble back into bed. It is quite a while before we both come up out of our room.
Up on deck there is no sign of Vladmir, and I start to worry that he was offended and somehow left. It's the tiny flash of red in the corner of my eye that lets me know where he went. He's at the top of the main mast, not in a crows nest, but balancing on the tip! As we look up he raises into a handstand, then waves at us, balanced on one hand.
"Show off." Stefan mutters, before pulling me into his arms for a kiss. The splash is loud, and I pull away to see Vladmir in the water, swimming along beside the boat after diving from the mast. Stefan grins. "You should get out of the water, you're going to scare the sharks.
"You should come in. The water's very... wet!" Vladmir easily keeps up with the boat even with his lazy backstroke. As we watch he ducks underwater and we lose sight of him. When he surfaces he leaps into the air, clearing the surface like a dolphin before jackknifing and diving back in.
"Such a show off." Stefan smiles at me. "Would you like to swim with us, Summer?" Vladmir leaps again, rotating several times before dropping back in. "We'll keep you safe."
"What about those sharks you mentioned?" I hadn't seen any sharks, but I've always been a little afraid of things you can't see in the water. In answer Stefan only grins wickedly. Oh yeah, my husband is at the top of the food chain. "Let's go."
At first it seems odd to be swimming alongside an unmanned boat, but both of them can swim like fish and easily swim circles around it. The water is calm and warm, and they both enjoy treating me like a big bathtub toy. I'm lifted and tossed into the water so many times I feel like I'm swimming with dolphins or seals. After a minor protest, Stefan paddles along slowly and allows me to hold onto him like a human buoy.
Vladmir swims alongside us and asks, "Stefan, remember our first trip to Australia?"
He laughs. "Leave it to you to bring that up. Summer, this man has an evil sense of humor. Our ship hit a reef and went down, and we had to swim a few miles to shore. Instead of coming up on land like normal people, he suggested we wash up on shore like corpses. There was so much screaming and panic when the waves brought us in. Vladmir didn't even bother to close his eyes, so you can imagine what we looked like when they finally came to drag us up onto dry sand. We were cold and still, and they dug holes to bury us. We were in the holes, and they were throwing the dirt in on top when we just climbed out and brushed it off." He's laughing so hard he can barely speak.
"The gravediggers had to go home and change their pants!" Vladmir finishes the story, also laughing.
"I guess that's just one of those 'had to be there' stories." I don't think the story is funny, but the way they're laughing about it is amusing.
"Aw come on Summer..." Vladmir cajoles. "...can't you just imagine it, with Stefan all covered in seaweed..."
"No, I don't think it's funny!" I don't know why it bothers me, but I don't feel much like swimming, and I head for the boat. Even before I'm up the ladder Stefan has gone before me and helps me up the steps. He pulls me into his arms and holds me next to his cold, wet, body. Inexplicably I feel like crying.
"I'm sorry! I just... I mean... Usually it doesn't bother me since you're so alive and vibrant. But I just don't want to think of you like that. That you can look and feel so much like a corpse, that someone could throw you into a hole... it's just too much. I love you Stefan. You're so alive I don't even think of you that way. But if you're a walking corpse, then what's that make me – a necrophiliac? I just don't think it's funny." I try to let go of my hurt feelings as I'm looking up into his serious face.
"I'm sorry." He kisses my forehead. "Sometimes I forget how different we are. I think the reason Vladmir has survived for so long is because he loves the way he is. He doesn't worry about not being human, in fact he will exploit every advantage, like you've seen recently." He looks up at the main mast as a reminder.
"I'm sure what he didn't think of, you did There are probably just some things I don't want to know." I pull him close and kiss him, and he tastes like salt water. "I think I'll just change clothes and maybe make some lunch. I didn't mean to stop you from having fun in the water."
"It's only fun with you. Do you need any help changing?" He grinned mischievously.
"I think I better do this myself." I pat his cheek as I go below and quickly wash my hair. I put on shorts and a top before ducking into the galley to make lunch.
It seems the swimming is over and they are both dry and dressed when I come up. I'm a little sad to see the bathing suits are put away, but I guess it's just as well I'm not tempted by my husband after all we've done today. We decide to practice our music since we haven't had much time since we've reunited. I have no idea if the Twilight Trio will play for an audience again, but it seems to be the safest thing we can do together. I'm not sure why I'm letting so many little things get to me. Maybe it's all the stress of being kidnapped and held captive finally catching up with me. The music is even more beautiful than I remember, and it calms me like nothing else. More than that, it helps me see once more that my husband has depth and beauty within, no matter what he is.
We play through the afternoon, and I'm glad I'm finally learning to play better. I hate to stop, but my stomach growls almost as loud as my singing. I'm putting together a salad when Vladmir joins me in the galley. He slips in so quietly a startled squeal escapes. He watches me with interest as I toss mixed greens with chick peas, feta cheese, tomatoes, black olives, and avocado. I sit at the tiny table to eat, and he sits opposite me, making a disgusted face as I take a bite.
"How do you eat like a rabbit?" He sniffs the bowl and flinches away.
"It's simple, I just open up and chew." I stab another forkful to prove the point.
"I still don't know how anyone can survive on that! His face is looking theatrically more grossed out by the minute.
"Vladmir, what do you want, since you're obviously not here to share my food, or watch me eat?" I set the fork down and wait patiently.
He looks across the table at me for several long moments. "I just wanted to …. um... apologize... I think." He looks uncomfortable, but I'm confused. "The old jokes between us... I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"Don't apologize. It's nothing... I'm just being overly sensitive."
"But you said it makes you feel like a necrophiliac." He reaches across the table and grabs my arm. He holds my hand and looks at me with his intense red eyes. "We're not dead Summer. We may be cold, and our hearts don't beat, but there is life within us. If you could see with my eyes and hear with my ears you'd understand that this life is intensely powerful. When I can remember what it was like to be human, I'm stunned at how much more I have now. My vision is perfect. I mean there are parts of light we can see that you can't. My memory is so sharp, I can recall every note and word the first time we practice. And with my hearing I can pick up so many things you miss."
He lowers his voice then, even though we both know Stefan can hear us. "I heard what you talked about this morning. He was right, I liked kissing you." I try to pull my hand back but he doesn't let go. "Relax, you're safe with me, or he would be here to put me in my place. I take opportunities when they are presented to me. Some chances only come along one time, and I don't do well with regrets. I would never try to take you from him, but I wanted just a taste..." He laughs and releases my hand. "I apologize for that also, but if you had died at Volterra, I would have regretted not kissing you when I had the chance. He's very lucky to have you, and I'm very happy for both of you." He looks uncomfortable again.
"I also heard you tell him you didn't want to come between us. I love you for that. My Sulpicia never understood our bond. Now we have this regret we both share."
"How does Chelsea's ability work? I think it exploits a weakness, but I thought it also wears off. Why doesn't Sulpicia leave and return to you?"
He laughs. "Chelsea's ties eventually wear off, but while they are at work, real ties are formed. She may tie someone to Volterra, but they are integrated into the whole hierarchy and soon those bonds become real. Peaches loves me, not Aro. But she will never leave his side. She will continue to be his dutiful wife in all ways. It amuses me that Aro knows she loves me, and I could have her back if I really wanted her. But she can't be assured that I would take her back if she left. I don't even know myself. She will never take that risk, and she can never understand the bond I have with Stefan."
He looks at me with honest eyes – if that's possible. "You seem to understand." He reaches out and lays his hand on my cheek. "It's a pity you two don't want to share your bed with me... mmm, the things I could show you!" He pulls back and laughs loudly as Stefan's growl carries down to even my ears. "Relax, you know I'm only joking... mostly." He leaves me there feeling surprisingly relaxed considering his blatant flirting. It was more of his complete honesty Stefan mentioned.
Several days later, we make it through the Strait of Gibraltar before we need to moor the boat for more supplies, and Stefan needs to hunt. We dock in Barbate, Spain even though I try to convince them we should head down the coast of Morocco to Casablanca. They laugh at my romantic notion since Casablanca is one of the busiest ports in the world. Stefan shows no reluctance leaving me behind with Vladmir even after our uncomfortable conversations. As Stefan seeks his next meal, Vladmir and I check out the shops and restaurants. We've decided to wait on a storm system before traveling further, which gives us a chance to check out some of the tourist spots and beaches while the sky is overcast.
We're back on the boat, and I'm storing a few things away when I stumble in the galley. I hit my head on the table, and my cry of pain brings Vladmir almost instantly to my rescue. He helps me from the floor and looks at me strangely. A small trickle of blood oozes down my temple. I can see the indecision on his face, but it's not the blood lust I've seen in Volterra. It's as if he's trying to decide if he should wipe it with a cloth, or lick me like a melting ice cream cone. I try to stand to pick up the towel on the sink, but my feet don't respond fast enough and I almost fall again, but he catches me.
He wipes my head with the towel and smiles. I stand again, and this time I don't move. My equilibrium feels off even before I try to take a step and I collapse back onto the chair, stunned.
"Just relax, the cut is minor, I'll get your first aid kit and take care of it for you." He's charming and sweet, but my horrified look stops him as much as my hand clutching his arm. I feel the tears in my eyes, and his confused look overwhelms me and I break down sobbing.
I've forgotten all about my head injury as he puts his arms around me. "I need to see a doctor, Vladmir... it's starting." No need to say more, he knows all I've told Stefan, and I feel his arms around me tighten. I cry against his strong chest, feeling the unfairness of it all crashing down on me. I was supposed to have years! Stefan... oh god... it's just too much to think about how my new husband is going to take the news that I've got the early onset strain. The tears I wail into the iron embrace of his friend are not for me, but for the one I love with all my heart and soul.
"Summer..." His voice is soothing, and he lifts my chin and dries my tears on his T-shirt. I don't know how long I've been crying, but the front of his shirt is wet and I feel wrung out. He lifts my chin and both of our red eyes meet. "Let me change you." His voice is soft and compassionate, but his words shock me. "Let me fix this. It can be over before he returns, and he won't even have to see you in pain." His fingers caress down my neck, as if he's drawing a map of where he'd like to bite me. "He doesn't have to see you suffer if I do it now."
I try to pull away from him or push him away from me, and it's clear that he's not ready to let me go. "NO!" I start to feel panicked that he won't let me go. "Vladmir, you have to take me to a doctor now! I'm not going to die right away, first I'm going to... degenerate." Just saying it makes it feel more real, and I feel more tears on my face. "Please! You can't turn me. I'm not going to be one of them." The memory of the Volturi is still fresh in our minds and it's enough to make him back off.
"It's against my better judgment... but I'll find you a doctor." He lifts me and carries me back to our cabin and settles me in bed. I try not to think about how dad spent so much time in bed. He goes to make the calls, and in a surprisingly short time, he comes back to get me. "I've got you in to see one of the best doctors in the area." He picks me up and carries me, from the boat and to a waiting taxi. We make it to the office, and he carries me into the waiting room.
"I should go find Stefan and let him know what's happening." We're in the waiting room, and I wonder if he's not trying to find a way to get out of an uncomfortable situation.
"No!" I hold his hand and try to keep my voice down, forgetting how good his hearing is. "I don't want him to know yet. There may be something they can do for me. There are dietary supplements that can slow it down, and there are always clinical trials. I'm not giving up without a fight, and I don't want him to know until he has to." He only growls in response. "You know how he'll take the news. He's happy right now... let's just let him be happy for a little while longer."
"I won't lie to him." He looks almost angry that I would ask. "But you're right; he won't take this well. I'm not taking this well. If he asks me directly I will tell him the truth. But I won't volunteer anything... I'll give you that much." I hug him and kiss his cheek, and then they call my name and he can't come back to the exam rooms with me.
There are tests, from urine to blood and blood pressure. I've had to fill out the medical history forms and it seems to take forever even before I see the doctor. When I finally meet him he's a pleasant man in his early forties who speaks fluent English. He'd gone to school in Ohio and studied medicine at the Cleveland Clinic – small world. The things he tells me leave me shocked, then he pats my hand and asks if I'd like to have my husband come back with me while we go over our options.
I slip into the waiting room and sit next to Vladmir, trying not to cry. "I need you to find Stefan. I don't know if you can get back here in time, but I need him, now!" To his credit he doesn't ask questions, but leaves immediately. I sit and wait, while people come and go. My head is spinning and I feel numb. I have no idea how everything went so wrong so fast.
When Vladmir and Stefan walk through the door a little more than an hour has passed. My husband's eyes are light amber and full of concern. With his arm around me we head back to meet with the doctor, and he's almost holding me up. I don't know how I'm going to keep from breaking down when he learns what's happening.