Chapter 30
Diagnosis
Vladmir comes to find me. I'd just fed and I am on the way back to the boat when he catches up to me. He doesn't need to say anything, I know Summer's in trouble, and we run. Inside the clinic Vladmir waits while we are lead back to a small exam room. When the doctor comes in I shake his hand and he smiles weakly.
"I've already shared the news with your wife because there are some decisions that need to be made in a fairly small amount of time. She came in presenting with what she believed to be the first symptoms of Huntington's Disease. We've run the tests, and I'm sorry to tell you, she does carry the gene; though she is asymptomatic as yet." All along I knew it was likely, but hearing the news feels like I've been hit. She's going to die. I have to remind myself to loosen my grip on her hand before I crush her fingers. The doctor is still talking, but I'm just caught up in looking at her; my beautiful wife, the woman I'd die for, is dying.
"...diet and exercise plans to prolong her active years. But during the exam we ran several routine tests, and your wife is also pregnant." Impossible! I look at her and I hope my face looks suitably concerned, because what I really feel is joy. "...problems with carrying to term should she develop active symptoms. It's still too early to tell if the pregnancy will progress normally. There are tests that can be done to see if the child carries the gene. They're not always reliable, but you would need to do it soon so that you could decide if you wanted to terminate the pregnancy.
"No!" Her strong denial comes before I can voice my own. "We're not aborting my baby!"
"No one is going to pressure you into anything. I'm merely trying to present you with all the options so you can make an informed decision. Some of these things have a very small window, such as the amniocentesis." The doctor looks almost defensive.
"I don't want any tests! And I don't want to hear any more talk about terminating my baby!" I'm sure somewhere there are mother bears that would envy her fierceness.
"If that's your decision, I'll note it in your records." He smiles. "Now, let's see if we can give you a due date." He questions her about her last menstruation, birth control methods, and other personal details. When he finally orders an ultrasound to measure the baby, I'm surprised they allow me to stay in the room with her. I'm even more surprised when she lies back and pulls up her shirt, there is a small lump where none existed the last time I saw her.
I'm appalled at their chosen method for the test. With her feet in stirrups they probe her with an internal sensor. With her eyes glued to the monitor screen she tries to pretend the device doesn't cause her discomfort, or even pain, but I can see it's hurting!
"It's okay Stefan. If I can't take a simple test, childbirth will be out of the question." She takes my hand to reassure me, and I can't help but admire her strength. Still what concerns me is her belief that she will go through childbirth. I know she's heard Carlisle's description of what Bella's child did to her. Does she think this will be any different? She smiles up at me, then winces as the woman using the probe tries to maneuver the thing which seems to not be working. I'm getting a clear picture of her frame from the inside, but there is a large gray mass in the center.
"Take that thing out of her!" I can tell the woman senses the menace behind my words and she looks apprehensive. "I mean it, take it out, you've done enough already!" She complies, making feeble apologies about how it doesn't seem to be working. The woman watches me warily as she wheels the machine out of the room.
I help Summer to sit up and pull her clothes together. "It's time we should go before they come up with some other barbaric torture."
"But we need to know the due date. Maybe they've got another machine that works... Stefan we can't just leave!" She sounds confused and frightened.
I pace the tiny room, feeling frustrated and overwhelmed myself. I don't want to explain things to her here and now, but she is quickly running down the wrong set of ideas. I do my best to calm myself and I take her delicate face in my hands and lock my eyes onto hers. "Summer, you need to hear me, we may not have much time. The child you carry is not going to be normal. Their tests won't work, and if they figure out why, they won't let you go. We must leave now, do you understand me?" Her eyes are wide, but she nods. With my arm around her she leans heavily on me as we walk out of the room and past a window where a woman waits to check us out. I don't stop even though she tries to call us back.
In the waiting room Vladmir comes to flank Summer, lending his own shoulder to lean on as we hurry to the door. There is a commotion behind us as someone tries to follow us, perhaps to sign something or to pay a bill. I turn on the two clerical workers and narrow my eyes. "Leave us alone. Your services are no longer required!" I use my command, and they quickly turn around. At the corner we're met by the taxi Vladmir has called.
In the backseat she breaks down and weeps against my chest. I do my best to comfort her, rubbing her back and whispering soothing words to her. Vladmir catches my eye over her head. He's unsure of what's wrong with her, and he can read the shock of it on my face.
Once we're back at the boat I carry her from the taxi and settle her into our cabin. I lie with her, promising her everything will work out, as she cries herself to sleep. I place my hand on her stomach as she sleeps, There is a definite mound growing there. I'm no longer feeling joy at the thought of the child, but fear of what it will do to the woman I love more than my own life. If there's a choice between my seed and her life, there's no doubt which I'd choose. Still, the thought of holding my own child feels like a hope too forbidden to wish for, and yet I almost dare.
I leave her resting and go to find Vladmir. I don't have far to go as he's waiting outside our cabin. We move to the other end of the interior so we won't disturb her. I don't have to mince words with him. "She has the disease, and she's pregnant." After all these years I didn't think he could be surprised, but he is clearly taken aback by the news.
"I thought she was sick, but pregnant? I didn't think it was possible! Is it yours?" I glare at him that he could even ask. "Is it too late to get rid of it?" It takes me a second to calm myself and not strike him. I don't expect such callousness from him.
"She - we don't intend to 'get rid' of our child!" I collapse into the nearest chair. "Heaven help me, I want this! What kind of a monster would do that to her?"
"I thought you were taking precautions. Hell, I thought you were too old!"
"We were, and so did I. She's been on birth control... supposed to be 99 point something percent effective. Must be that even my seed is more aggressive. Damn it, I shouldn't even be fertile!"
"For someone who professes to want to be a father, you sure don't sound happy." He takes a seat opposite me
I look him in the eye. "This could kill her. Every other half vampire child killed it's mother. Isabella Cullen was changed after hers was born or she would have been gone too. Summer won't let me change her."
"You can't seriously consider her wishes in this matter! Of course you'll change her."
"I promised her I would not." I look at him for a long moment. "She doesn't want this. Even if she could get past the horror of killing, she saw what it did to the Volturi... they scared her. I won't change her."
"Then I will!" He obviously doesn't see the point that I promised to keep her from being changed, not just refused to bite her.
"I won't let you." I don't have the courage of my convictions, but I know it's true. I will protect her from him if necessary.
"You can't be serious. You would let her die? She could have mere months left. By your own admission her odds are not good. Even if she survives the birth, she's still sick. You can't just let her die, Stefan – be realistic!"
"I am. I know her. I know she would end her life before she took another. I won't make her into something she despises. And I won't let you do it either."
"You can't make that decision for me. I love her too Stefan."
"I know." I stare at him for a long moment. "Even if she didn't end her life, she would hate me. She would never trust me again. I would lose her."
"You don't know that for sure. We all change when we're brought across. I won't promise that I won't change her. I'm not going to let her go. One thing she doesn't understand is that if she dies you'll be right behind her. No – I won't let that happen!" He stands and runs his fingers through his artificially blond hair. "One thing's for sure, we need to call Carlisle. He's the only one who can help us now."
"He may not want to help. We parted on some very bad terms the last time I saw him."
"Did I say I was going to give him a choice? I'll call. He may not want to help, but he will." He leaves me then to make the call. I sit and hold my head in my hands feeling hope and despair at war within me.
I can hear the conversation with Carlisle; his shock and anger, his insistence that we end the pregnancy, and Vladmir's assertion that she will not. I hear his rant about why we were not using birth control, and Vladmir's assurance that we were. The words Carlisle utters would have truly upset his own father were he still living.
"Bring her. Now. Drop everything and get here as fast as you can. It's already stealing everything it needs from her, and in a few days she'll be too weak to travel. Don't stop in Forks, come right here. Get it out of your head that this will end well; she's either going to die or become one of us, there's no other option." He ends the call and Vladmir dials the airport. He charters a plane and I set about packing up our things in the boat.
When I hear her wake I rush to her. I hold her, kiss her, and reassure her that she's going to be fine. I lie. She seems upset at our plans to leave so soon. She is sorry to disrupt our plans to cross the Atlantic in the boat. She either has no idea of what's about to happen to her, or she's trying hard to bury the knowledge. As we pack up the last of our things I look around the boat. I know we won't be coming back, and it hurts to say goodbye to the dream.
We leave the instruments behind, and Vladmir mentions that he will have them shipped to Romania. In the taxi she leans on me as if she hasn't slept. On the plane she sleeps, and when I place my hand on her stomach I can tell the lump is already larger..
I spend the flight praying to a god I have never believed in, but I can see nothing else that will save her but divine intervention. It doesn't help that I've known all along she will die. I now know what even Vladmir does not; she only has weeks to live. I thought the pain of losing Tessa was the greatest I would ever feel. I was sadly mistaken as the mere contemplation of losing Summer has my mind experiencing a jagged agony that makes me want to end my pitiful existence to make it stop.
She had hoped that having Vladmir at my side would make her loss more bearable, but again we have all misjudged. I can see the suffering on his face as he looks at her sleeping form. The love he feels for my wife is stronger and deeper than that of a friend or a brother. It's as if she is the embodiment of all women to him, and the love he has for her is purer than what our kind are known to experience. Her impending death is tearing him apart.
The plane stops to refuel in Florida, and she wakes while we're on the ground. She is hungry, but the typical food she eats seems to make her ill. I remember Carlisle mentioning Bella's diet of blood, and I offer her a steak; rare and bloody. She refuses at first, but the smell so entices her she places a tiny nibble in her mouth, making a face as if she held a live insect on her tongue. She gulps without chewing, and the look of astonishment on her face almost makes me laugh – as if she has found she has a taste for live insects. She devours the steak and even tips the plate to drink the bloody juice. I offer her a second, this one uncooked. She seems even more horrified as she realizes it's what she wants; it's what our child wants.
Once more in the air she leaves her seat and instead curls on my lap. I hold her with her head cradled on my shoulder and my arms around her. I never knew I could love so deeply and completely. My hands stroke over her as if to soothe and protect her. But I can't protect her from that which she carries inside her own body. A part of me hates what's growing inside of her, as I know it's stealing her from me. It's consuming her in a way I have resisted, as if my hunger has been given a life of it's own and been placed within her. In the end, I will be the one charged with caring for this voracious child.
We arrive in Port Angeles with a car to meet us. From the car Vladmir calls to tell Carlisle we've arrived. No, we shouldn't go to a hotel, nor the hospital where he works, he wants us at his home where he can monitor the situation. We don't have a pregnancy or a child, we have a 'situation.' Still, I'm grateful that he's agreed to help, I only hope it's enough.
We pull up outside the enormous house and they are there to greet us. Carlisle doesn't say a word to me, but goes immediately to Summer, helping her from the car and into the house. Esme directs us on where to take the luggage, and Emmett helps out. I see him there, hovering near the door; the only other one who could possibly understand what I'm going through – Edward. I move to enter the house and he steps into my path.
"Let's go for a walk." he invites. "Don't worry about her, there's nothing you can do now anyway, and Carlisle will make sure she's taken care of." We walk, down the driveway and off into the woods. Once out of sight and sound of the house he stops and turns toward me. "Carlisle seems to think you planned this." He pauses and looks me in the eye. "That's not true though, is it?" I forgot he can read my mind.
"You know I didn't plan this. Maybe if she was a different woman... but I couldn't do that to her. I thought she was protected."
He laughs without humor. "I think there's something about us that overcomes the protection. It happens at the first opportunity – it overcomes all obstacles and..." He shrugs.
"It's going to kill her." I'm simply stating a fact he must surely hear inside my head; it's all I can think about.
"Yes." He doesn't try to hide it. "You'll be surprised how fast it happens. She's probably got a month before it tears it's way free. Don't fight with her, don't waste time trying to talk her out of it. Don't waste time."
"How can I watch her die? This is impossible! All of our superior strength and skill, and our years of wisdom and experience, and we can't save one little human girl! What use is it all?"
He pats my shoulder. "If you think you hurt now, I'm here to warn you it will get worse – much worse. She'll need you to be strong, at the same time she'll make you wish you'd never been born. This is going to ravage your beautiful wife in a way that will make her look like someone else. Near the end she will look like the walking dead, except she won't be able to walk, at least not on her own. It will break her bones, but not until it's taken what it needs from them. And when the time comes, it will tear itself out of her, like a chick from an egg."
"Stop! Why are you trying to torture me? Do you think I want this?"
The corners of his mouth turn up. 'You didn't plan it, but yes, I do think you want this. I just want you to know what you're trading to get it. If she won't let you turn her, she'll be dead in a month. If I were you, I would plan to change her without her consent. Carlisle won't support that, and neither will Rosalie, so if they're nearby it might be impossible. You also can't turn her while she's pregnant; the change will kill the baby – and then your newborn bride will likely kill you."
"You've thought of everything, haven't you?" My voice sounds bitter and resentful.
"I've been where you are now. There is nothing I wouldn't have tried to save my wife. I even told her if she got rid of my child she could... never mind, that really doesn't bear repeating."
"You told her she could have another man's child. I've thought about it already. But she never wanted to have children. She carries a genetic disease that will kill her even if she manages to be the first to survive childbirth. Talking to the young Edward makes her condition even more real to me. I'm already starting to grasp the certainty of losing her, even though he stands before me, a living testament to a positive outcome.
"I need to ask you something – a favor if you will." He looks uncomfortable. "My daughter is going to be curious about the guests who are here. You've met her before and she will remember you and Vladmir. She will know your wife is here, but I'd like to keep them apart if at all possible. She's still very young and this could upset her quite a bit, especially considering what's going to happen. She knows what happened during her own birth, but witnessing it first hand is more than a child should... more than anyone should actually see."
"I will try." I can't say more. We walk back to the house and I easily find the room we've been given. She is resting, and I slip in and lie down beside her. One month. It's not enough – not nearly enough!
In the quiet of the house I hear Carlisle call my name. She doesn't stir, so I leave her side to find him in his office. He doesn't mention our last meeting or our confrontation. Instead he consults a file in front of him.
"These are the notes I took while Bella was pregnant." He comes around the desk and spreads several sheets out before us. As you can see, she was pregnant for almost a month to the day. We were fortunate to be able to note the exact day she conceived. We need to try to pinpoint Summer's date as closely as we can. If we can do that, I've calculated the length of time she will need to carry the baby before it can safely be delivered. My hope is that we can deliver a healthy premature infant, long before she goes into labor. In this way we should be able to save her life."
I fight to keep a grip on my hope in light of the grim look on his face. "There's no guarantee it will work even if we get the dates exact. The baby is encased in an invulnerable sack that I won't be able to cut through. I'm investigating lasers, but of course this is all new, and it's a gamble."
He looks at me with guarded concern. "My son tells me you didn't plan this. I'm glad to hear it, especially after we spoke at your home. My goal of course is to save your wife and your child. But I'll be honest, it might not be possible. She's adamant that she is not be changed, and she's equally insistent that I save the child over her.
Because she's my patient, her wishes will come before yours, and that includes the decision to deliver preterm. Bella wouldn't hear of it, even though I tried to talk her into it. I'll be honest, from what I've seen and even what I've heard from Nahuel's aunt, it seems like these babies not only take over the mother's body, but also exert some kind of control on their minds. Bella had dreams of her child, and everything we tried to do seemed threatening to her. She insisted my daughter be with her at all times to guard and protect her, just in case someone tried to take the baby while she slept. If Summer becomes overprotective like that, my hands may be tied."
He looks at me solemnly. "I want you to be her biggest supporter. She cannot think you wish her baby any harm. You have to be the most loving and doting father, even if it's the best acting job you've ever done. If she thinks even for a minute that you want to harm the baby, she may fight you on everything you try to do to save her life. Make no mistake, in her mind this is her baby, and you could easily be cast as the enemy."
He sighs. "My granddaughter has been a great joy to me. But I've never deluded myself into thinking that she's not as much a predator as we are. If not for our own animal diet she would likely be feeding on humans like any other vampire. She's a hybrid, but the human side seems to give way to the survival instinct of our side in it. The baby your wife carries may turn out to be a loving little angel after it's born, but before then it's only interest is it's own survival." He gathers up the papers and places them back in the file.
"I'm going to try something different with Summer than I did with Bella. Bella was able to drink donated blood to keep the baby alive and keep it from draining her of everything in her own body. I want to try to give Summer I.V. nutrients for her own body, along with the blood for the infant. I've also been considering a different delivery system that would get more to the baby without having to go through digestion. But keep in mind everything I do is experimental and may not work; including the laser assisted delivery." We talk about several of his ideas, and I try to follow along, but I really just want to get back to my wife.
"Just do whatever you think is best. I know you're dedicated to saving lives. I do appreciate your help." It's as much of an apology as I can give for our fight over her earlier in the year.
"Have you thought about what the Volturi are going to say about this?" Of course he's heard about our marriage at Volterra, and his own granddaughter was the cause of a nearly catastrophic attack by all of them. They will not be happy that another hybrid is in the world. They are the least of my worries.
"If Aro keeps his word, we should have nothing to fear from them. But even if they did want to intervene, by the time they get here it will be over, come what may." He pats my shoulder as I turn to leave.
She sleeps most of the day away and I lie awake next to her. Carlisle comes in and sets up his I.V. to begin giving her nutrients. She wakes up briefly, then falls back asleep cuddled against me. I touch her stomach and the lump has continued to grow. I can't imagine that in a month that tiny lump is going to be a full sized child. Full sized and capable of tearing her apart to get out.
In the afternoon, Emmett and Jasper ask to come in. Already the room is our own space and they are respectful of our privacy. They go about installing a flat screen TV so that she will have something to distract and entertain her when she is awake. The plan is to keep her in bed at all times, except to take care of her personal needs. I spend my time not watching the distractions on the screen, but watching her. I don't want to waste a precious moment of our time together. I see her eyes moving under her eyelids as she dreams and I wonder if it's those dreams like Bella had, where the child seeks to bond with her. I touch her; her face, her hair, her body, and the protrusion that is the part of her that will live on when she's gone. Hour after hour spent just observing and absorbing this woman. I love her so much it's almost unbearable to see the trusting way she rests against me, knowing I caused this in her.
In the evening she wakes. She's hungry and she wants her vegetables at first. She can't even keep them down, and afterward she wants them gone. Carlisle brings her the donated blood to try. The smell of it in the room sets my teeth on edge, but I stay to encourage her. Just a tiny taste on the tip of her tongue is enough for her to declare it delicious. She drains a full glass and asks for more. We try to feed her the raw steak, but she isn't interested. Carlisle leaves more of her chosen beverage in a cooler near her bed.
After he leaves I help her take care of her needs. She's unsteady on her feet and the I.V. is a bit of a problem. All propped up in bed her visitors come by. Rosalie is the first to come, and she's more excited to look at her stomach than her face. Summer of course wants to hear all the talk about the first baby, and what she might need to expect. I try to do as Carlisle instructed and be the proud papa, but the woman is grating on my nerves with her single-minded focus. She does not care at all about my wife. I suggest she should go spend time with her husband – I use my ability to insist.
Bella visits. If Rosalie was overly concerned with the child inside her, Bella is the opposite. "Carlisle has you drinking blood already. Ugh! I hated that part. The baby needed it though, and as long as she did, the stuff tasted pretty good. Of course it would probably taste better to me now, but I haven't tasted human since the change."
Summer seems very interested. "Is there anything you'd have done differently?"
Bella smiles. "I was lucky that everything worked out for me. I wanted to become what I am. Well... not really the vampire part to be honest. I just knew I wanted to be with Edward forever. There was no price too high for that. I've been in love with him since the first time I saw him."
Summer smiles and squeezes my hand. "I know how you feel. But how... I don't mean to sound rude, but how can you stand having to kill just to survive?"
Bella's eyebrows draw together. "I guess it's because I've never looked at it as wrong. I don't take human life, but I guess I've never considered animals off limits. The only difference for me now is that instead of buying the animal in a store, I hunt it myself. And like I said before, there was no price too high to be with the ones I love."
"Was it hard? I mean the pregnancy and the birth." She rubs her stomach as she asks.
"Yes. It was hard. We didn't know what to expect and she grew so fast my body didn't have time to adjust. She cracked my ribs and she... made herself quite at home." She seems embarrassed to have let so much slip. "I don't remember much about the birth. I know I died, and Edward injected my heart with his venom – it's the only thing that saved me. The birth was nothing compared to the change." Summer looks at me, clearly remembering my story.
"Can you think of anything you might have done differently that could have saved you? I really don't want to die."
Bella looks at her in shock and horror. "You're not going to die! You can change as soon as the baby's born!"
Twin tears roll down her cheeks. "I'm not going to change, Bella. If I can't live through this I want them to let me go. So I need to know, is there anything different I can do?" I pull her tight against me.
"That's ridiculous! You have to let them change you! Stefan, you have to convince her... " She looks back and forth between us. "Summer, your baby will use up everything in you, and tear you apart when it's finished. I love my daughter and I would have gladly made the sacrifice, but I didn't have to – you don't have to!" She seems distraught and she excuses herself before fleeing from the room.
I don't say a word, instead I dry her tears and kiss her. It surprises me that I can taste the blood in her mouth. I hold her and touch her, and press little kisses to her face whenever she looks at me.
"Stefan, would it seem weird to you if I wanted to make love with you?" Her words startle me and I have to look at her face to see if she's teasing me. Her look tells me she's serious, and even a little aroused.
"Wait here, I'll be back." I find Carlisle in his office and pose her question. He is almost as astonished as I am.
"If she were carrying a human baby, I'd assume she was in her first trimester, and normal... activities are acceptable. It's not as if she can get pregnant again." He grins "But since this is a hybrid baby, you might want to be careful you don't get bit!" I know my face must have registered the shock since he laughs loudly. "I'm only teasing, Stefan; impenetrable membrane, remember? But that was priceless!" He stands up and hands me a DO NOT DISTURB sign he has on the back of his office door. "You might want to borrow this."
I slip the sign on the door and lock it behind me. I worry that this is the last time I'll be able to make love with her as I take her in my arms. The house is full of my kind, and only Vladmir has a hope of having earplugs, but I don't care. I love her so much, and when we move together she is unrestrained, passionate, and noisy. In a strange home, a strange bed, with an I.V. in her arm and donated blood in her stomach... oh, and our child growing inside her, we have one of the best intimate moments of our lives. She is phenomenal, as if she's rested up all along for this time of togetherness.
Afterward she rests in my arms and I swear she is glowing. Her smile is radiant and her blue eyes sparkle like my skin cannot. "This might sound really weird, but I think the baby liked that too. I love you Stefan. I hope you don't think I won't change because I don't love you enough to be with you forever. Even if I could live only on animals I would still know I was a killer. I would still be dangerous – it's just not who I am. But I would stay with you if I had forever any other way."
I can only stare at her. She's still trying to win the point that means her death. "Please, I don't want to talk about it. We don't have time to argue the point. I love you for as long as I have you, and I'll remember you until my own end."
She giggles and smiles at me. "You sound so dramatic, like I'm going to kick off any minute. This disease can take decades before it shows symptoms."
I gape at her. "Haven't you been listening? The baby will kill you long before your disease shows it's first sign! Summer, our child will be born in a month or less!" I kiss her lips and bury my face against her chest. She looks shocked.
"That's impossible! I've just discovered I'm pregnant... I should have at least six months! I'm not even showing yet!" She places her hand on her stomach and feels what I've been watching for so many hours. Her hand caresses over the little protrusion. Her eyes find mine and I see panic in them. "Stefan... what's everyone trying to tell me? All I've heard is that this baby will grow fast and can't be born normally. She sits up in the bed and I hurry to provide her with a nightgown to wear.
Carlisle taps at the door before he comes into the room. I feel somewhat embarrassed at such proof that our activities have been heard. But he doesn't say anything about it as he busies himself adjusting her I.V. tubing, taking her temperature and blood pressure, and pulling a chair to her bedside.
"I don't mean to interrupt, but I think it's time we all discussed what we're going to do as your baby develops. Summer, Stefan is right; your baby isn't normal, and it isn't going to grow like a normal baby. First let's try to pinpoint when you conceived." They went about talking about when her last menstruation cycle was, and to my own chagrin, the number of times we made love. He also asks her about any strange dreams she's had, or any emotional outbursts. He's not asking about months ago, or even weeks, but within the last seven days. Seven days – impossible!
She smiles at him. "Funny you should mention it. I've been hearing music in my sleep. I thought it was Vladmir and Stefan practicing or maybe looking online for new songs we could sing. But it's been different than that kind of song. It's very pure and sweet, and so lovely I don't even want to wake up." She smiles at me. "Is that our baby? Oh Stefan, this is wonderful! I wish you could hear it!" Her hand moves over her stomach unconsciously and I smile even though I want to snarl and tear the thing out of her. Carlisle was right, and it's already starting to work on her thoughts and even her sleeping mind. That it has my voice – is using my voice against her – is proof that the abomination comes from me. The blame is all mine.
"It sounds wonderful!" I place my hand over hers and look Carlisle in the eyes, feeling panic and dread to know that he's been right all along. "I'll get to hear our baby soon enough, right Carlisle?"
He makes some notations on her chart, then moves to measure her stomach, again taking notes. "Well, it looks to me as if you conceived five to six days ago." I stare at her as we both look backward to what was happening five or six days ago.
"The day we went swimming!" She looks at me with absolute certainty. Remember, it was during the day and you were wearing that... bathing suit, and you were so warm." She blushes. "Remember, I was all upset over your joking around with Vladmir? It wouldn't happen that fast would it Carlisle? You're trying to tell me that I can feel this baby and it's only been five days?" She seems overwhelmed at the speed it seems to be progressing.
"Tomorrow morning will be your sixth day of pregnancy. In roughly 20 to 24 days this baby will be... born." His words steal the air from the room. He's just told me when her execution date is, and the look on her face is one of terrified expectation. She still doesn't understand the damage that our offspring will do to her body. She still doesn't fully understand that it will kill her.
Carlisle looks grim. "When Bella's time came, it caught us all by surprise, and Edward was forced to deliver the baby himself. To say it was primitive would be a gross understatement. I don't plan on that happening this time." He shows us a chart with a time line for her pregnancy. "As near as I can tell, the pregnancy should follow the same progression as a normal baby, only much faster of course. I've made this comparison and determined that we can safely deliver the baby a week before it's normal due date. It will be fully developed, though it may be smaller than a full term infant. It would be the equivalent to having a baby in seven months instead of nine. We do this kind of thing all the time with normal babies, especially in order to reduce the risk to the mother."
She's listening raptly as he points out the exact date he wants to deliver our baby. Please let her agree, I pray silently. "Why can't I just wait until I have problems? I mean a week isn't that long, couldn't we just wait and see? I just want to give the baby as much time as I can." She doesn't seem to understand that the longer she waits, the more time it will have to try to kill her. She doesn't understand the way that I do, that Carlisle's dates are not written in stone, and the baby could decide even earlier to rip it's way out of her and end our chance to save her life.
He smiles and pats her shoulder. "Of course, if everything goes smoothly I'll be happy to adjust the date. But this baby is going to be vampire strong. It will have the power to break your ribs with a kick, or even your spine and pelvis. You won't go through the normal process of childbirth, and your womb won't open. It's going to tear it's way out of you as soon as it's strong enough to hunt on it's own, or as soon as it can't get anything more from you. Your baby is a predator, and you are it's first prey. I want to make sure you're around to mother and guide it, not just incubate and feed it. Do you understand?"
She cries and I hold her. Her little nod of understanding gives me hope.
He pats her hand as he continues. "I want a good outcome as much as you do. There are only a handful of children like yours, and unless the Volturi put a stop to it, I suspect there will be many of our kind attempting it. There's a strong desire among our kind for connections and family since it's the one thing we have to leave behind when we're changed. You understand this yourself more than most. This is your due date." He circled the day on the calendar, a week before his projected full term date. "And this is your death date." He circled the date our baby would likely be ripping it's way out of her. "Don't look at it any different if you want to survive. Your baby will be fine if we take it early, it just won't be ready to hunt, which should please you as well, considering your stance on protecting life."
He takes a deep breath. "Now, we have to get one more thing out of the way; our delivery method." He sets aside the charts and records. "I will have Edward and Rosalie assist me when we deliver. I've tested several lasers, and I've found one that works against our toughness. The unfortunate side affect is that it cauterizes as it cuts. I'll have to do a normal cut on your stomach and uterus, then use the laser to cut through the impenetrable sack that holds the baby. It's likely that in carrying this baby, your uterus will be damaged. You may need a partial hysterectomy later, but next to all the things that can go wrong, I consider this minor." He looks at both of us. "Do you have any questions?"
She smiles, wiping away the last of her tears. "Can you show me an adjusted progression of how the baby will be developing day by day? I'd really like to know what it looks like inside me. Also, how much normal activity can I do? I feel like I've done nothing but sleep since I left the boat and I'd really like to get out and get some fresh air at least."
"I'll work up a chart for you to see how your baby is developing. And as far as activity, I had originally planned for you to be on total bed rest. But since you feel anxious to move around, I can adjust that a little. You can't take any trips of course, but if you want to leave the room or go for a walk, that should be no problem at first. I'd ask that you never go alone. Every pregnancy is different, and I don't want to take any unnecessary chances with yours. Take one of us with you any time you leave since we can sense if something's wrong. And it's not likely that you could walk that far, but to the west is the Quileute reservation and... it would not be good for you to go there." He doesn't say more, but I remember the giant wolves from their tribe, and determine that any walks will be to the east.
With no more questions, Carlisle leaves us and she climbs into my lap even though I haven't had the chance to get dressed yet. She seems calm and content, and she smiles up at me. "So what do you want to name our baby?"