Hello everybody..
Sorry, I had a writersblock and I was VERY bizzy!!!
I hope you like this chapter... soon Bella will know that she´s going to die.. so exiting!!
Story song: Behind these hazel eyes- Kelly Clarkson.
I do not own twilight and I'm dutch.
Have fun.
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
'You..don?..want me'
'No'
No No...
I woke up, sweating and hard breathing.
Oh my...what happened to me? My chest hurt so much!
You freaked out, because of Edward. A voice in my head said.
I screamed at Edward!
Exactly what he deserved.
No...he didn't.
Yes, he did, he left you!
I stared up to the sealing, knowing the voice in my head was right.
No.
Yes, he left you, alone, broken.
But he's back now, he's back!
But he'll leave again.
No he won't, he said I misunderstood him. He loves me.
He doesn't! He left you in the woods. He didn't want you to come with him. He made it clear. He DOESN'T love you!
'No...no..' I sobbed out loud.
He doesn't love you.
I sat straight up. Tears streamed down my cheeks. Why did he come back? Why..? He doesn't love me! He lied again.
A painful, tearing and hopeless feeling spread through me.
'I loved you!' I cried. 'But you left'
Yes, he left. Tell him he's too late! The voice pushed me.
'No..no, I can't. I still love him'
'No, you hate him'
I screamed out loud, my cry filled the room. I pushed the blankets of me and pulled the IV out of my arm. I kept crying, and screaming.
'You left me, you left me, you left me! No...NO'
You hate him!
'No..no.. I don't'
Stop that, you do. Say him goodbye and go on with you life. He isn't the end of the world! Big girls don't cry, remember!
'I can't, I can't do that'
I completelly freaked out, I could hear my heartbeat on the monitor speeding up.
I screamed and screamed, I felt so terrible. Also lightly surprised there wasn't somebody who noticed my screaming yet.
Suddenly my body felt so strange, so numb. On the background I heard my heartbeat stop and after a few seconds my body fell limp on the hospital bed.
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
'Bella, Bella? Honey, can you hear me?' My mums voice said.
I opened my eyes slowly and the first thing I saw was my mothers beautiful smile.
'Hey honey,' she said lovingly and she stroke me cheek.
'You made me a little scared, baby'
I swallowed.
'Sorry.' I tried to whisper. 'Shhh... It's oke, you're awake now'
'What happened?' I asked again in only a few weeks time.
'You had a heartattack.' I remembered that I freaked out. 'Oh, I thought I would lose you!' I saw a tear in her eye. 'You won't.' I whispered, still feeling very weak. I couldn't die, not for my mums sake, I wouldn't die!
'Bella!?' A voice called my name, Charlie. He hurried into the room and he sat down in the chair next to Renee.
'Will you never do this to me ever again, Bells? You scared the hell out of me'
'Charlie!' My mum said firmly. 'She's just awake!''Sorry, dad.' I mumbled 'I'm so happy that you're alright now'
We talked for a long time, both were so afraid to lose me. I had to make sure that nothing bad would happen to me, no freaking out anymore, no stressing. After two hours they left, my mum stayed in Forks with Phil. They would visit almost everyday.
'Bye sweety, and be carefull, oke?' my mum asked, I nodded. 'I promise.' She kissed my forehead and walked out of the room. 'Take care of youself, Bells.' my dad said. He took my hand and kissed the back of my hand, like a real gentleman. I giggledd. 'I will.' He walked away, too, waving at me when he reaced the door.
So I had a heartattack.
I sighed, could my life be more complicated?
After half an hour considering, I drifted to sleep.
When I woke up, my cheeks were wet from the tears, obviously I'd been crying in my sleep. About Edward of course. About the day that he left.
My tears began to flow again, but it were silent tears. They just flowed. Why had he left? Why didn't he stayed. Now things were so complicated.
It felt like I cried for hours, non stop.
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
'Bella?' An angels voice said. It came from behind me (I lay on my left side). I rolled on my back, but I already knew who it was. Quickly I sweeped away my tears, though he'd already seen them.
'Why are you crying?' he asked sweetly.
I shook my head. 'Nothing.' I stuttered, but my tears streamed on. I sat up, looking in his eyes. Slowly he raised his hand and he whiped away my tears carefully. I raised my hand to, grabbing his and I hold it to my cheek.
His thumb stroked my cheek. None of us said something, we only stared at each other.
'I do love you.' he whispered. I swallowed, but didn't respond. 'Do you believe me?' he asked, but again I didn't respond.
I do love you...I do love you...I do love you. His words sounded through my head. He loved me.
'Then why did you leave?' I asked. 'I had to, for your safety. It killed me to do it, believe me Bella. I missed you so much and I wanted everyday to come back, back to you. Because I love you'
'You love me'
'Yes, I always have and I always will'
'Oh.. Edward,' I cried and I hugged him. He pulled me close to his body, rubbing my back slowly. 'And I'll never leave you again, if you can forgive me and still want me'
I broke our embrace and looked at him blankly. 'But if you can't, which I can understand perfectly, I won't-' he said quickly, but I broke him off.
'Of course I can forgive you!' I whispered. 'And I always want you, there's nothing you can change about that'
He smiled, god I missed his gorgeous smile! 'I'm sorry that you got blamed for what happened a few days ago, when I... freaked out'
'That's oke, Bella. Don't worry about that. It was my fault.' He broke my embrace, pulled my back into the pillows and kissed my forehead.
'Sleep, my love, I will always love you'
I grabbed his hand and asked: 'Will you stay.' 'Yes, I will. I promise to never leave you again, I can't leave you again'
I smiled and closed my eyes.
He began to hum my lullaby and slowyly and happy I fell asleep.
He was back, and he loved me! And I still loved him. He would never leave again, we could be together again. My dream was a good one, I dreamed about all the love moments Edward and I once had, and maybe would have again.
But there was one problem.
Jacob.
I opened my eyes and saw a big figure sitting next to me, but it wasn't Edward. I looked around the room, searching for him.
'I sent your bloodsucker away, if you were looking for him.' I looked up, it was Jacob.
But he looked angry, very angry. But why?
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
wooooooooooowww
So why do you think Jacob's looking angry?? Let me know.
And what do you think of this chapter???
In the next one, Bella'll hear her verdict.. exiting!!!
Story tip: Twilight princess, by Lolita16... Read it.. it's amazing!!
Yeah Lola... I know, you don't have to thank me:p..
*Lolita16 sighes and gives Samamamilile a frustrated look*
See you later.