Waking Up

Mrs. Cullen,

We regret to inform you that in the line of duty, your husband was attacked by an unruly rebel in our detention camp. The camper had managed to obtain a weapon and critically wounded your husband. We did all we could but it wasn't enough. Your husband is now on life support and because of his head wound, he will most likely never regain the ability to live on his own. As he wished, he will stay on life support until you decide it's no longer worth the trouble.

Our deepest apologies,

The Follower Soldiers

After reading that, I'd broken. Somehow I managed to get the door shut and locked, and into bed before I felt myself go limp and the tears being to fall. I don't know how much time passed before Alice came in to see why I hadn't come to dinner, but after reading the letter above my head, she cried with me. She wanted to take it away, to show her parents, but I took it away from her.

"I need it," I'd told her. "Maybe it's a mistake and if I keep it they'll realize they need to send the right letter."

"Bella.. they don't make mistakes about things like that."

"Well there's always a first time."

She never answered me. Instead she'd gone to tell her parents the news. After that, I don't remember any other details. Days passed by in blurs, of people coming in to mumble things to me, and people walking out. I heard people speaking to me, but their words were lost. I never answered anyone. My whole world was upside down. My reason for existence, the man I loved was gone, and I couldn't make myself overcome it. Just then I heard a mumble. Carlisle and the rest of the family- minus Rosalie and Emmet- were in my doorway.

"Bella? We need to talk to you about Edward."

Of all the days I decided to listen. I sighed softly and closed my eyes. It was too late to block them out now but it didn't mean I had to look like I was listening.

"It's been two months and he's not coming back.. we think it might be best for him, if we allow them to take him off life support."

For a moment, I couldn't speak. How could they want to kill all hope of bringing back their son? My husband?

"No."

My voice was raspy and dry, but the first word I'd spoken in two months still held it's finality.

"I understand why you might disagree Bella but the fact of the matter remains-"

"No."

"But-"

"No! I'm not going to kill him!"

He sighed and I heard footsteps retreating.

"Bella I understand how you're feeling, and because you're so adamant, I'll keep him on life support for now. I'll ask again later."

After a long look at me, he was gone. I knew I was being selfish and that I was holding onto a false hope but I couldn't let go. I rubbed the sleeve of his jacket against my cheek and sighed, trying to find my way back into the place where I had everyone shut out.

--Jacob's Point of View--

Since Bella had her breakdown, Alice and I had become friends. We both wanted her to just start living again but it was a hard goal to accomplish. I saw coming out of Bella's room with the rest of her family, and went to her.

"What did she say? Did she say anything?"

"She said no."

"Just no?"

She nodded and I sighed.

"What's going to happen now?"

"Carlisle is going to write a letter to the camp and make sure it wasn't a mistake. As soon as he gets the response he's going to show it to Bella and try to make her let him go."

"Do you care if I try to talk to her?"

She shook her head and smiled sadly at me.

"She hates me for trying to take him away. She'll be glad someone's trying to be her friend."

"She doesn't hate you."

"Right now Jacob," she said softly, "I really think she does. Good luck."

She went to Jasper and the first thing he did was put his hands over her very enlarged belly. Carlisle said she was going to have the baby in a few weeks, if not sooner. Remembering that, I had an idea to get Bella out of bed to try to live again, but I didn't know if it would work. There was only one way to find out, so I went to her doorway.

--Edward's Point of View--

"Go on."

"Wait, I can do more! Please my husband is sick, I just want to be with him to help, please..."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed.

"I promise, you'll be moved into the same cabin as your husband tonight. Please try to calm yourself."

She sobbed happily and fell to my feet.

"Thank you, thank you so much."

"Go."

After she was gone I went back to my desk and changed her living arrangements. I sighed when the task was finished and felt disgusted at myself. I had no reason to complain about my job here. I had luxuries many of the soldiers didn't. I could openly sleep with any of the women in the camp, my room was well-furnished, and I never felt hungry. The problem was, I didn't really care. I didn't want to sleep with any of the women here because I didn't feel anything for them except pity. Occasionally, I would pick a woman who was suffering in the camp and let her sleep in my room. I would make sure she had plenty to drink and eat, and a good night's sleep but that morning she was gone as soon as I told her to be. I really should be having sex with the women here, but it was unlikely any of their pregnancies would last long enough to bear healthy children for our next generation of followers, so it was pointless. The phone on my desk rang and I answered it without interest.

"Hello."

"General Eddy."

I sighed.

"If you're going to address me with a title, do it properly."

"Whatever. Listen, how many pregnant girls you got in that camp?"

"We had 3."

"Had?"

"They couldn't receive enough nourishment so their pregnancies were terminated."

"Shit. We need more."

"Then I suggest you find women who can carry the pregnancy to full term."

There was a silence, and then a slight chuckle.

"Good idea."

"What do you mean?"

"There's gotta be some pregnant women out there. We can get them."

"Send them here."

"Why?"

"Until the baby is born they need decent food and care and my camp is the only one sure to provide it. Then of course there's the care of the child until the men in charge of dealing with them comes, and you know that could take months. I'm afraid my camp is the best place for them."

I heard him groan and I felt a small smile play on my lips.

"Well?"

"Fine you win, but I want children there to pick up Eddy."

"There shall be."

I heard and dial tone and replaced the phone to its cradle. My sentence here was going to be boring and awful, but now at least I had a job to do and a purpose. It was better than nothing.

--Jacob's Point of View--

I sat on the foot of her bed and put my hand over her shoulder. I felt her flinch and try to pull away but I just moved my hand behind her shoulder blade and rubbed my thumb in small circles.

"Bella? Can we talk?"

She immediately tensed.

"About what?"

"Uh.. Alice."

I saw her guard drop a little.

"Why are we talking about Alice?"

"She's scared."

"What about?"

"She's going to have her baby pretty soon."

"Jacob she has plenty of time left. It's only been a few days since I saw her."

"Bella.. it's been a few months. Carlisle said she's due within a few weeks."

"Oh. But why is she scared?"

"Her best friend isn't going to be there when the baby's due... she wants someone there who she feels close to."

"Oh..."

I moved my hand to hers and grasped it.

"She thinks you hate her."

"I don't hate her! I just.. I don't want to lose him."

"I know Bella but maybe it's time to try to let go."

Before she could open her mouth to protest, I put in a different option.

"Or at least try to live. Bella you can't live the rest of your life on a bed barely eating and never moving."

She was thoughtful while I squeezed her hand in mine. And then, she sat up. What I didn't expect was that she would start crying.

"Have I really been that awful Jacob?"

At a loss for words, I pulled her close to me and wrapped my arms around her.

"You didn't mean to be Bella, we know that."

Her head went against my chest and she breathed in shakily.

"I'm so sorry.. I'm just so sorry."

I held her close to me and let her cry while I rubbed her back.

"Can you.. can you get Alice for me?"

I lifted her chin and wiped away her tears.

"Don't move."

I got off of her bed slowly and when I was sure she wasn't going to lay back down, I went to Alice's room and knocked on the door.

"Come in!"

She was on her couch and she was slowly rubbing her hands over her stomach.

"Oh Jacob, I wasn't expecting you."

"I talked to Bella, she's sitting up. She wants to talk to you."

She got herself off the couch and waddled as fast as she could to Bella's room. Without a knock or announcement she went to Bella's bed and hugged her.

"I'm here."

If they knew I was in the room, they didn't show it. Bella hugged her as tight as she could and Alice actually kissed Bella on the forehead. As soon as they were done hugging, Alice put a pillow behind her back and sighed softly as she rubbed her stomach.

"Only a few weeks left."

Bella nodded.

"Jacob told me. I didn't know..."

"It's okay."

"I'll be there when it happens Alice, I promise."

They hugged again and Alice shifted.

"I should get back to my room, my back's killing me but I'm really glad to see you're up Bella. Come see me for dinner okay? We'll eat and we'll talk more."

I saw Bella hesitate but she smiled softly and nodded.

After Alice was gone, I went to Bella's side and put my hand over hers.

"Do you feel better?"

"A little."

After a few minutes of me rubbing her hand, she took it away.

"Thank you, for making me realize."

"I'd do anything for you Bella, you know that."

She nodded again and glanced at her door.

"I think I need a few minutes to think."

"Will you be okay.. alone?"

She smiled sadly.

"I'll behave myself, I promise. I'll talk to you soon okay Jacob?"

I kissed her forehead and went to the door. As I was about to close it, I sighed.

"You're a great person Bella, never forget that."