This one is substantially shorter but I promise over the long run they will all equal out! Hope you guys are enjoying this! Again, I do not own Glee…
August 19th 2010
Dear Diary,
Today was a very interesting day… have you ever heard the quote 'your Knight in shining armor is just a retard wrapped in tin foil?' Of course you haven't, you are a diary. Anyway, apparently my knight is just that. See, I was walking in the cafeteria today and two things happened simultaneously, well three actually. Anyway, Karofsky and his goons decided that I would be their target today so I ended up getting three trays of food dumped down my new purple bunny sweater, then Jacob ran up and began rubbing the food into my clothes. He said it was payback for camp but he was also getting more boob action than I've ever given anyone (besides Noah) before. Before I could react Jacob was on the floor bleeding from the nose. In walks my retard in tin foil… Noah. He punched him so hard I couldn't tell what was spaghetti sauce and what was blood. So then he proceeds to wipe some of the sauce off my face with his thumb and licked it clean… so cute and sorta romantic, but then Karofsky (standing right beside us still holding his tray) decided that he needed to make a caveman comment as usual – 'Did you just lick spaghetti sauce that you wiped off that freaks face?' and Noah being Noah well, being Puck said, 'No, I licked it from Berry's face, the freak is still standing here looking like an idiot with a tray in his hand.' It was so sweet of him, but of course Karofsky doesn't stand for any of that so an all out war broke out. So now Noah, Karofsky, Jacob, and I are all suspended for a week! I've never even been tardy for class and now I'm SUSPENDED! Luckily my dads are out of town for about four weeks so I'll have the house to myself… but still, Noah tried to save the day and ended up getting us all suspended… retard in tin foil. I did sneak into Glee though. It's a really pathetic group of individuals and we really need some help. I'm thinking about asking Noah to join (he sings at JCC and is really good) but he would never go for it. Right now there are only five of us in our Glee club… Artie, Tina, Kurt, Mercedes and I. Each one of us is really different and I don't know how in the world we're going to pull this off. Artie can't dance (in a wheelchair) but has a great voice and would really do well with contemporary R&B songs. Tina stutters and is Gothic but she has a decent voice… with a little training she could be amazing. Kurt is gay but in the closet, he sings like a girl so it adds a unique dimension to our group of strays. Mercedes is a DIVA and that's coming from me. She thinks that she has the best voice in the group but that's clearly not the case with me there. It's going to be a rough year and I don't know if it's even worth it.
So back to Puckerman… I think I'm really falling for him which really scares me. We keep catching each other staring at one another during class (English 3rd period, Art 5th and Biology 7th) and it gives me the chills every time. I keep zoning out thinking about all of the amazing things he can do with his hands and his mouth and… and yeah… it's distracting. I really want to do all of those things again with him. I even want to date him… but I'm just a loser at McKinley and he's the cool jock. There's no way he would go for it. He slushied me yesterday for goodness sakes! But then again, he did say today that I wasn't a freak and put a hefty mark on his permanent record for my honor. Maybe I should call him… I'm sure he doesn't have anything better to do for the week…