Welcome home; let's get a little insight into Pam for a moment, and set-up even more 'tension'.

Thanks for reading.

Part 9

We returned to my home, Sookie insisting on clutching the old leather bag we'd found in her spare bedroom. I would have taken it downstairs for her, but it seemed as if she saw it as the connection to her life and her memories. I could respect that, and I let her take it on her own. I was going to follow her, but I heard Pam begin to stir in her rooms, and she met me at the top of the stairs. I could tell she needed to talk, mostly by the way she followed Sookie's passage downwards, and by the look she gave me when Sookie disappeared from view.

"Yes?" Perhaps I said it in a way that sounded more annoyed than I meant it, perhaps not. I was tired, and I was still aroused to some degree by the taste of her, still in my mouth and my memory. And really I just wanted to stay with her; I wanted to build on the small steps we had taken. And selfishly, I wanted her to see me, and think about me, and maybe come back to my bed that day. All right, I was annoyed.

"Is she staying another day?"

"She is. Does that bother you?"

"Somewhat." I swear it could only have been more aggravating to me if she'd started tapping her foot at me just then. Even my mother hadn't tried that type of irritating nonsense with me.

"Perhaps you could explain yourself then Pam?"

"If you are worried about protecting her Diantha and Gladiola could do that. They seem to like her, and I'm sure they wouldn't mind."

I didn't respond, since Pam seemed to have more to say.

"Besides Eric," see, I was right, "they can protect her twenty-four seven. Not that you are powerless during the day," I was so glad she's added that part because I was starting to feel my ire rise. "But they can effectively deal with any threat."

"She will be staying here with me Pam."

"I can understand why you want that Eric, I really can. I know you need to know why this has happened to her, and I agree with you that it was likely done to threaten you somehow. I want to know the same thing. And I know you want your memories of what happened with her back, and that you think by keeping her close that it will happen."

"Yes?" I was gritting my teeth just a bit, I know Pam saw it, and understood that she had better get to her point quickly.

"I have seen the way you have been these last weeks, not knowing. I have seen how much distress it has caused you. Eric, I don't want her to hurt you any further."

And now we were coming to the heart of the matter.

"Eric?" She reached out and grabbed both my hands, clutching them tightly. "I have cursed myself every day that I have seen you suffer, cursed the choice I made to leave you with Sookie. I should have taken you somewhere else, found someone else who would protect you, and be honest with you. I should have done it myself Eric, and I will be sorry forever that I didn't."

"So why did you leave me Pam?"

"You looked," she paused, searching for the right word, probably thinking about her choice so as not to send me into further rage or despair. "You looked happy there, and comfortable, and safe. She looked like she cared about you, like she would care for you. Not like she was going to hide everything and deceive you. I love you Eric I don't want more pain for you."

The anger in my chest began to abate. I had known Pam a long time, and even though I had long ago released her from any obligation to me as her maker, she still cared for me in the same way, and it meant even more because of that freedom.

"I don't believe that Sookie has ever meant to hurt me Pam. I am certain that we will find more answers together than apart."

"Forgive me Eric, but I don't have the same faith in her that you do."

She just looked at me then, noting else to say. And then dropped my hand with pursed lips and a sad little smile and left me standing there alone. Whether her instincts about Sookie were right or wrong, and I sincerely hoped they were wrong, I knew she would stand by me. There was a comfort in that.

Downstairs I found Sookie, feet curled under her, sitting in one of the wing chairs by the fire; which she had lit. She was looking at a little book, something she must have tucked into the suitcase when she finished packing it. As I approached I could see that it was a photo album. She heard me coming.

"I seemed to be pretty happy in these." She said with a little smile, turning her face to me. I could see that she had changed into night clothes, but wow, not quite the long sleep shirts I had pictured her owning; when I pictured her in such things. I'm sure they call them spaghetti straps, and the plunging lace, especially as I looked down at her, left a wonderful view of décolletage for me. I tried very hard not to look as hungry as I suddenly felt. "You said this is my Grandmother?" She pointed to a happy round face of the gray haired woman. Looking at her Grandmother's smile helped.

"Yes."

"And my brother?" Jason's leering grin leapt from the page.

"Yes, that's Jason."

"The whole book is family, and a few pictures of Tara, that was her name right?"

"Yes." Seemed I couldn't come up with particularly complicated answers just then, my mind was elsewhere, somewhere in the shadows of navy blue lace it seemed.

"Didn't I have any other friends?"

"Your abilities tended to scare people Sookie. But you still have your friends at work, Sam and Arlene." I didn't much care for Arlene, can't say why exactly, something about her rubbed me the wrong way. "And Lafayette, Tara's cousin, and Terry, the cooks."

"But not so many from growing up eh?"

"Children can be cruel Sookie." Or so I'd been told, I hadn't had much chance to experience it personally. "But it really is an amazing talent, you are a very unique person, and very special, and you have learned to use your skills to good end."

"Did I ever have a boyfriend?"

Oh I didn't want to answer that question.

"I don't think you ever told me about a boyfriend when you were growing up." I tried to avoid mentioning his name.

"And after?" But apparently she was going to pull it out of me, I thought quickly of how I could spin it to my advantage. But of course, sometimes the truth is the easiest thing.

"His name was Bill." I sat down in the chair beside hers, still distracted by the satin sheen of what she was wearing. "William Compton. He is a vampire, like me."

"Seriously? I dated a vampire?" I felt a little hurt by her quick reaction to the statement, for obvious reasons. She seemed to see that, and added a quick, "sorry, that didn't come out right."

I tried to laugh it off, but I felt a little sick.

"What happened?"

"Bill was not honest with you Sookie. He had his own agenda for wanting to be with you."

"Because of my 'gift'?"

"I suspect so, but I was never in his confidence about those matters. Actually, I wasn't in his confidence about much."

"You weren't friends?"

"No. Not even close." Bill Compton would have sold out his own mother to the Queen as far as I could assess him. To profess love for someone, only to trade them for some sort of favor was beyond reprehensible in my books, and that really was saying a lot. I had no problem with acquiring assets, or amassing favors, even to having someone in my debt, but human beings, vampires included, were not chattel.

"Will you tell me more about what happened?"

"I was really not party to the exact details Sookie. He abandoned you, and yet still you searched for him, putting your own life at great risk. He hurt you greatly because he knew things about you and sold that information for his own gains. I understand you were not able to continue to trust what he told you after that, and you asked him to leave you be. Banished him from your home, as I recall."

"Wow. How long ago was that?"

"Several months."

"Was that when our friendship began to develop Eric?"

"I think we had begun a type of alliance before then, but it grew afterwards."

"So if I broke up with my boyfriend, whom did I buy all this lingerie for?" She stood up.

Wow didn't begin to describe her.

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