Hi all, sorry for the lengthy pause in publishing, busy week. Hope you enjoy, the next chapter should be soon, it's all planned out in my head as we speak. Just have to get some laptop time.

Enjoy.

Merick

Part 11

She was my little bird again, not captive in my hands, but wrapped into them none the less. Her heart had continued to race for a good many minutes, even as she fell into sleep. She hadn't spoken again, but had only kissed me softly on my lips before curling into my chest and closing her eyes. I knew I hadn't frightened her, because she remained at my side, and her breathing was even, and she did sleep, unlike me.

The memories of my time with her flooded back into my brain; not every minutiae mind you, but the important ones, like a series of little black and white vignettes, playing out for me. Her finding me on the road, running, the borrowed clothing from her brother, the feel of her nearness as I sat on the floor beside her, as she spoke with Pam, the heat of the water as I chanced to step into the shower with her, and the tender, beautiful feeling of her skin as I caressed her breasts for the first time, and teased her with my mouth. It all came to the first time I laid her down and made love to her on that Patchwork quilt. Of course there were also the memories of how I had felt, empty yet not scared. I was without my personality, yet still comfortable in the peace of mind that not having any pressing concerns gave me. In fact, it was a pleasant respite as I recalled, not having the weight of my office and responsibilities directing me. And of course I remembered the offer I had made her, to give up everything just to remain with her. It was that statement that was truly robbing me of my sleep.

In any other situation having heard myself make such an offer would have brought bile to my throat. My entire life, as human and as a vampire had been based on experiences grooming me to be a leader of men, not someone who would throw everything away for love. Every fiber of my preternatural being was assaulting me, pointing out my stupidity, my weakness, and looking out into the dark of my room brought no respite. But looking down at Sookie, and listening to the quiet breaths that made her chest rise and fall, in my arms, and in my bed, I could almost understand why I had made the offer. And it wasn't such a distasteful thing, as long as she was beside me. Her measured movements, and the view of the puncture marks on her neck, which brought to mind the more recent events helped to calm me, and sometime after noon by my reckoning, I did finally drift off to sleep, my face buried in her hair so that the scent of her stayed with me, even if I wasn't exactly breathing it in.

When I woke I was alone, I'd been so exhausted I hadn't even felt her leave my bed. I lay there, staring up at the ceiling again, wondering about all the memories that had returned, and wondering about how much I should share, how much wouldn't hurt her. I had come to no conclusions about what I might have done to cause her reluctance to share the events with me; certainly nothing concrete and I was well past the stage of berating myself over unknowns, it was counterproductive. Besides, I had no idea what she might remember after our lovemaking.

I could hear the crackling of the fireplace in the main room, and when I listened closely I could even hear her heartbeat, so at least I knew she hadn't fled, whatever she did or didn't remember. I rose, pulled on a pair of silk pants and went out to see her, I'll admit to some curiosity as I did so. I hadn't exactly expected to find her in the way I did.

She was curled up on the corner of the couch, the little television was on, but the sound was off. It looked like CNN; she wasn't really paying attention to it anyways. Her eyes were fixed on something she was holding in her hand. Before I noticed what that was I recognized what she was wearing; the shirt I had cast off the day before in the bathroom. Seeing her there, legs tucked up under her body, in my shirt made me so very happy. I paused before speaking to her, just enjoying the sight of my lover.

"Good Evening Sookie." She'd known I was there, I'd made no secret of my approach, perhaps I should have noted the fact that she hadn't turned her face to look at me as I had entered the room, but I hadn't: an unusual error on my part. When she did I could see the tear streaks, and I could see that it was her cell phone she was clutching, its little lighted screen casting an odd blue glow against her arms.

"Hi Eric." Her voice wasn't bubbly, it wasn't soft or comfortable, it was broken.

"What's happened Sookie?" I sat beside her, filled with concern, and put my arm over her shoulders. She did not pull away; in fact she sort of collapsed into me. I took that as a good sign, in an odd sort of way.

"I've been gone for three days Eric." She shook the phone at me, "how important could I be to anyone? Not one missed call, not one message, doesn't anyone care that I'm gone Eric?"

"They probably think you're still away Sookie." I tried to soften it. "You've often been away for a few days in a row, working for me."

"But if I was going to see someone, wouldn't they be worried about me? Worried that I hadn't arrived?"

"Sookie." I hated that she was torturing herself but I was wary of admonishing her.

"But I think that I wasn't going to see someone else Eric. I was coming to see you."

"You know that for certain Sookie?"

"It's the only thing that makes sense Eric." She finally looked away from the empty screen and up at me. "You're the only one that cares about me. I'm so glad that whoever it was who did this to me, at least gave me you to hold onto."

"So am I." I whispered to her chancing to kiss her forehead again.

"We've made love before." She dropped that bombshell on me almost matter-of-factly, it didn't matter that I already knew it.

"I know." I answered.

She finally smiled at me. "You've gotten your memories back?"

"Hard not to, being with you again Sookie."

"I'm glad."

"Have you remembered anything?"

"Just the touch of your body." A blush rose in her face that threatened to raise the blood lust in me. "Everything else is still a fog."

"It will come back." I stroked her hair. I could hear the beating heart in her chest.

"Your strength is so important to me right now Eric, since I have no one else."

"You will always have me Sookie."

"Oh God I hope so."

"Let me get you something." I pulled my arm away from her shoulders, reluctantly, but with purpose. Going to my desk I pulled open a few drawers until I found what I was searching for. I returned; a small leather bound book in my hands.

"What is it?"

"It's a journal Sookie. I want you to write down everything that happens to you, go back to the moment you woke up in Fangtasia, and write everything from there."

"Okay?" She seemed hesitant.

"I promise, if you forget this time with me, here, that I will tell you everything, but I will not be able to tell you everything you were feeling. And you might not believe me. But maybe if you see your own handwriting it will help?"

"Thank you." She took the book from me and clutched it to her chest.

"I don't want you to forget me Sookie." It was the truth. Whatever had happened before, whatever had brought her fear of me to board, I wanted her to know that once, just once, she had found something redeeming in me. I knew I didn't want to lose her, not to a damned witch's spell.

"I want to remember Eric, but I don't want to lose this either." And with that she turned in my arms so that her body was facing me, and, still clutching the book in one hand, she pushed against me, to guide me back onto the cushions of the couch. I was beyond willing to do whatever she asked of me then. "I don't ever want to forget this." She threw a leg over my waist, which forced the shirt she was wearing, my shirt, up a little higher on her thighs. I could feel the heat from her body bringing mine to life. The book dropped to the floor as her hands found other pursuits.