Wow, you guys responded instantly, though more review love would rock!

So, I hate when there are long authors notes, yet I write a lot. Probably due to my rambling tendency.

Anywho, I have a poll for what my next song-based story is going to be, cause I can't choose. You can pick 3 ( three ) songs. Also, if you vote for a different song, tell me what song you want, and I'll add it to the poll, just because I love you all!

Disclaimer: So, mister stagehand, you're sure I don't have a kitten farm?

Stagehand: Yes ma'am, I am absolutely positive that you don't have a kitten farm.

Disclaimer: Rats. Wait…

Stagehand: You don't own any rat farms either.

Disclaimer: Do I at least live inside a moo-cow?

Stagehand: Nope, no moo-cow. Now, say your line again.

Disclaimer: Why bother? Everyone already knows.

Stagehand: True, but you're getting paid.

Disclaimer: Fine. I don't own Twilight or RMCF.

Stagehand: * looks away * So… you wanna go for a pizza or something?

Disclaimer: Sure… * blushes *

Chapter 1: Unnamed ( oh yeah, forgot to tell you all, chapters will be named after the first reviewer of said chapter. Hopefully, this will motivate you guys! )

Previously: They walked off hand in hand and I knew the little girl was right.

It is great to work here.

Alice, Rose and I left in our silver VW Bug once our shift was over, using our employee discounts to get a Super Smore each.

"Good day, huh ladies?" My pixie sister said. Her words rang true, today was a good day, like every other day at our little chocolate shop.

"Amen to that!" Rosalie all but yelled from her spot in the driver's seat. I don't usually let Rose drive, but I was blessed out today, and had allowed it. I so need my own ride.

"Hey Bella, who was the little munchkin that gave us the big tip?" Alice asked me.

"I don't know, she was a sweet kid though. If all kids were like that, well I wouldn't be so opposed to them." I was never very fond of the idea of having kids. I love other peoples' kids, but having my own would just seem wrong.

Suddenly, Man! I Feel Like A Woman by Shania Twain came on the radio. The three of us exchanged excited glances as the intro began. I was the always first to belt out the first verse, it was my job. They both giggled as I made my voice low and seductive:

"Let's go girls"

"C'mon"

"I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout"


"No inhibitions-make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time"

Alice Rose and I were now all together singing the lyrics to the chorus:

"The best thing about being a woman

Is the prerogative to have a little fun"

"Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady

Men's shirts-short skirts

Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style

Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction

Color my hair-do what I dare

Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel"

And we all screamed out:

"Man! I feel like a woman!"

Some people were staring from their cars at us, probably thinking we were loonatics. None of us cared though as Rosalie sand the next verse. She shook her head, making her hair look like sex hair, and to be truthful, if I were a guy I would've jumped her by now:

"The girls need a break-tonight we're gonna take

The chance to get out on the town

We don't need romance-we only wanna dance

We're gonna let our hair hang down"

It's chorus time again:

"The best thing about being a woman

Is the prerogative to have a little fun"

"Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady

Men's shirts-short skirts

Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style

Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction

Color my hair-do what I dare

Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel"

"MAN! I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN!"

We pulled up to the house just then. Alice pouted as Rose turned of the car.

"What's wrong Ali?" I asked concerned.

She pouted up at me and said something I hadn't expected: "I DIDN'T GET TO SING MY PART!"

I struggled to hold in a laugh. "Don't worry, Ali. You'll get to sing it next time." We walked in the front door and Alice was almost instantly in the arms of Jasper, who had come running from the living room when he heard the door open.

"Ok, now I feel better," giggled Alice, still enveloped in Jaspers arms.

"I missed you so much darlin'. Wait, why weren't you happy hun?" Did I mention? Jasper had spent most of his childhood with his birth mother in Texas and now had a permanent twang. "You need me to… cheer you up?" Ok, eww! I so didn't have to hear that!

"If you guys are gonna do that, go do it in your own room!" Thank you Rose!

Alice just giggled and said "Ok then, let's go Jazzy!" He picked her up bridal style and carried her to the second floor, where they would probable participate in some less-than-holy activities.

"Gross. So Rose, are you ready for our first day of junior year tomorrow?" I was excited, but also nervous.

"Completely! This is the year I have to get laid! I can't believe our pixie sister was the first of us to lose it!" Yeah, Rose and I were the only virgins in the house. Me, I understood perfectly well. I'm just very plain. But I could never understand why Rose was never in a relationship. She's a strong, beautiful woman who had guys fall to their knees at her feet.

"Same." I sighed. I didn't really mean it, but hey, why not try to be a normal 17 year old girl.

"So that means I get to help?! Super. I'm going to make you a completely new Bella! This'll be fun! We can go clubbing together and shoot down hot guys and –," I cut her off.

"ROSE! I never said any of that." I was scared. When Rose puts her mind up to something, she doesn't quit.

"TOO LATE BELLA! I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU EVERY GUY'S DREAM SEX KITTEN!" faintly in the back round I heard what sounded like a 'me too' from Alice, but then I hear a moan and decided not to listen.

"And what if I refuse Rosalie?" she was stubborn, but I was more so.

"Then Alice and I will forcibly do it. You can choose. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. What'll it be, sister dearest?" Rosalie had an evil smile on her face. They've done this before, forcibly making me over.

"Fine, fine. I'll comply this time Rose. But only if I get paid."

"Why are we going to pay you? We're helping you get laid!" I didn't want to tell her the real reason, so I thought up something that sounded logical.

"Birth control pills cost a hell of a lot, along with condoms, spermicide, contraceptive sponges -,"

"Eww, you're such a nerd! Whatever, 10 bucks a week, that's as high as I'll go, plus, you didn't have to lie to me about your reason, Bells." She winked at me as I blushed.

First chapter is up!!! Now, you all know the deal, first reviewer for a new chapter will have it named after them, so go forth and tell me of your opinions. I'm okay with flames. It means you care enough to tell me my story sucks ass. Yes, this story is very vulgar and will contain graphic imagery and sexual innuendo.

Love and Chocolate to you all.

Iris