Chapter Twenty: Deeper Meaning
"So, the hike today was really fun," I said, as I walked along. I wasn't near the edge this time but the man yelled out for me to be careful nevertheless.
"Don't worry; I'll take care of her!" Gray called back. He was silent during the walk. His face was perfectly emotionless but there seemed to be some tension in the air that I could feel.
"Is something wrong?" I said finally when I had finally had enough of the tension-filled atmosphere. He wasn't acting suspiciously but I just had a feeling.
"Is it that obvious?" asked Gray, stopping and turning around. We were standing on the stone path. On one side were buildings that were closed for the day even though it was still fairly early. The sky was beginning to turn a deep orange with streaks of pink now with fluffy yellow clouds.
"Actually…" I said, "Anyway. What is it since you've confessed it?"
"I have something to tell you…" said Gray.
"Yeah, I kind of figured that out," I said.
"Do you mind? This is a really hard for me to say."
"Sorry," I said.
He came towards me. I backed away, "What are you—?"
Then my back hit against the wall, "Ow."
"Sorry," said Gray. He came up and held my head in his hands, "Lucy, I have to tell you. I… I'm in love with you. I'll never hurt you in any way. I have to know if you love me too."
I gasped slightly and nearly choked stupidly after the shock of it. Then I realised Gray had leaned towards me and touched his lips to mine again. His kiss was much fiercer this time, more desperate. I was really lost in the moment until I felt a cold drip land on my face and I snapped out of it.
Eh? I thought, looking up with my eyes without moving my head so I was still kissing Gray. The sky was dark and cloudy now and rain dropped, getting heavier every second. Gigantic raindrops fell down, making a loud splash sound when it hit the roofs of the buildings and stone floor. I suddenly noticed a movement in my peripheral vision and looked sideways. I saw a flick of blue and nothing more.
Don't tell me… I thought, glancing at the weather and back where I saw the blue flicker.
I put my hands on Gray's face and gently lifted his face away, "Gomenasai, Gray. I— No, I'm sorry, no." Then I ran away, after the blue flicker, "Juvia! Juvia, wait! Juvia!" Gray didn't try to follow me, standing there in shock.
I ran down alleyways, across half of town, looking for her. But there was no sight of her. Finally I ran out of places to find her. Then, my feet suddenly went in one direction without my brain controlling them. They seemed to know where they were going so I just went along with it. Soon, I was going towards the forest.
I see! I realised, gaining control over my feet again, but, what was that?
I looked around for something and saw a woman, the only one still standing in the downpour. She had a lovely dress on and a bright umbrella. She turned towards me and I gasped.
"Mother?" I said. She was partly see through. I could see the buildings faintly on the other side of her. She smiled and I heard words in my head, you'll know what to do, Lucy.
Then she faded away slowly. I couldn't believe it. I rubbed my eyes and looked but there was nothing left of my mother. Was she there? Maybe I was imagining things but the words echoed in my head. It must have been real. Suddenly, I realised what I was supposed to be doing and ran off into the forest. I had no idea where I was going but my instincts kept me going. I looked around and saw the dripping-wet willow branches. I ran towards it and pushed them aside, running into the clearing and behind the waterfall.
Sure enough, there was the small figure of Juvia. She was sitting down, her knees hugged to her face and obviously crying a waterfall larger than the one outside. Although it was a clear day, the clouds had quickly rolled in and rained, bringing thunder and lightning as well. The storm was more depressing than any other I'd ever experienced. It made the day dark as well. I could barely make out Juvia's hunched-up figure but a flash of lightning lit up the cave for a second and I saw her.
"Look, Juvia…" I said, not sure how to talk to her anymore. Obviously, I couldn't say Gray didn't love me because he just proved he did.
Between loud sobs which I could barely hear because of the ruckus outside, Juvia said tearfully, "You both have made your choice. I guess I knew all along but…"
She broke off crying again. I didn't know what to say but I sat down next to her and tried to comfort her, staying silent so she could let out all her feelings.
"And what's worse is," said Juvia, her body literally shaking with her sobs, "You are one of the best friends I've ever had in my whole life, one of my few friends. Of course I'm upset about Gray and you but I'm even more upset about us. All my friends have left me once they found someone more worthwhile and I thought you were the same!"
"Eh?" I cried, "That's what you were upset about? You mean… You aren't upset because Gray loves me? You're just upset because you think I'll like Gray, forget about you and leave?" I thought of the statement she had said; 'the way he looks at you and the way he looks at me, it's pretty obvious who he likes'. I had never thought there was a deeper meaning in her words.
Juvia nodded, "Of course I still love Gray-sama more than life itself but it always hurt me even deeper when my friends left me, one by one, when they found somebody that wouldn't have such a gloomy atmosphere. You were one of my closest friends, Lucy-san, one of the closest I've had in a long time but then you and Gray started seeing each other often. I thought that you would slowly forget about and leave me, just like the rest had. And I know I must sound really possessive right now but from my past experiences, I was just really hurt and jump to conclusions when my close friends start to spend more time with other people. I always assume I'll be forgotten and they'll move on from me to their new, happier friends."
Her words stung a lot, but it was better hearing the truth now, I supposed, "But, you said at the beginning you were sad because you suspected Gray loved me more."
"And I was sad," said Juvia, "Although I love Gray-sama dearly, he was also a close friend. Not just anybody would save me from falling off a building. Since he loved you more and it appeared to me that you loved him, you were both slowly fading away from being my friends. Just now when Gray confessed his love, I thought you two would become a couple. Even though it seems ridiculous, I thought even you two would forget about me and leave like everyone else."
I widened my eyes at her words. So, when I assumed she was sad because Gray loved me more than her, her words actually had a deeper, more meaningful meaning. I was, frankly, really shocked.
"Baka," I said.
"Eh?" said Juvia, looking at me.
"Why would you think we would ever leave?" I said, "You're our friend, Juvia. We wouldn't ever forget you."
"All the others said that, too," said Juvia, "But when they finally got sick of me, they left for someone else."
"Then they don't sound like good friends," I said, "They don't sound like good friends who care about you. If they did, they would never forget or leave."
I wonder if Gajeel knew this? I thought, well, he must have, right? That's why he urged me to talk to her…
"Gajeel was the only one who accepted me the way I am and the only one I've trusted to always be my friend before Fairy Tail," said Juvia, "In my childhood, I learned that people were deceitful, cruel and friends were forgettable from past experiences. I never grew close to anyone because of these reasons, only Gajeel. Then, I joined Fairy Tail. Everyone there was true friends and I was happy. But then, when you and Gray started becoming closer, I felt past experiences reappearing again. That's why I was so freaked out and left crying."
"I still cared for you the same way I did before Gray started becoming a closer friend," I said.
Juvia sighed, "That's what you think."
"Nani?" I said.
"When you were sick," said Juvia, "Remember when Gray stayed behind and you fell asleep?"
"Yeah…" I said, not sure that this was related to anything.
"I visited you, later," said Juvia, "While you were asleep. I was concerned so therefore I was sad and brought along the rain. Then, you started shivering because of the rain."
"I was cold that night," I suddenly remembered. It seemed like so long ago now.
Juvia nodded, "Before, no one seemed to mind me bringing along the rain sometimes. But when I came, Gray said, 'will you stop making it rain? You'll make her cold!'" she winced at the memory.
"Gray said that?" I said in disbelief.
"Yeah," Juvia nodded, "Even you. You murmured in your sleep, 'make the rain go away.'"
"Nani?" I said, not remembering that.
"I heard it," said Juvia, "You often don't remember hearing yourself sleep-talk. Anyway, I was upset because I thought my friends had begun to get tired of me and started rejecting me. So I took a mission with the Raijinshuu team to get away from it all. When I come back, I see your note and walk into town, thinking we'll be OK after we talk about what happened and I see you and Gray. A friend had been in the exact same position as you and the very next day, she completely forgot about me to leave with him! I thought you were the same! Whenever I shot you death glares, and I am sorry about that, it was just me acting out because of fear that I would lose you, one of my most precious friends. So I had to take it out on someone and you were always the closest."
"Juvia…" I said, hugging her, "We'll never forget you. I'm sorry I said what I did but I didn't know. I love Gray very much but just because I love him doesn't mean I'll care for you any less."
"How could I believe you?" said Juvia, "You're just like all the others."
"I guess I can't change the fact that you think that," I said, getting up. Before I left, I turned around, "But, Juvia, you're one of the best people and friend I've ever met or had. I know you might think so, but I will never forget or leave you. I wouldn't change a single thing about you because you're my friend. I hope you can believe me now and allow me and Gray to become a couple without thinking we'll leave you."
I walked out, allowing her a bit of time to think about what I'd said. I hoped she would start to trust us as much as she did Gajeel. I didn't want to lose either of them, or even worse, both of them.
OK, I know this chapter was a little confusing. XD
But I like putting a random, unexpected twist on things instead of the normal, clichéd situations that a million people have wrote about~ Anyway, please review~ :D