Chapter Eighteen

Gone

Dimitri POV

I had to admit I was a little flustered after that kiss Rose and I had shared. I missed those kisses; the ones that were stolen and not meant to be in public, but we just couldn't help ourselves.

I was walking around campus by myself at the moment. I hadn't been here since Rose's orientation a couple months ago, but before that... it's been years.

When I had first met Kirova, I was eighteen. I had just graduated from St. Basil's in Baia, Russia. Kirova personally had come out there to see me graduate. I was proud of myself; I had come in with the highest marks in the whole grade. At that time, I had everything imaginable: a job, girls, money, etc. Everyone was tripping over themselves to make me happy. It was a good life.

Kirova walked up to me and introduced herself. I had never heard of her, though I had heard of St. Vladimir's Academy. I was astounded that she had chosen me (as well as a few select others) to become guardians there. Everyone couldn't seem to say "Yes!" fast enough. I on the other hand hesitated.

Going to St. Vladimir's meant a few things. One, I would have to leave my family. I am big on family time, especially after my father left us. Two, it would take a while to get accustomed to America and Montana. Part of me was just a coward that didn't want to leave, though the rest of me was open to new things.

Also, a good friend of mine, Ivan Zeklos had selected me specifically to be his own personal guardian. Our relationship was very similar to that of Rose and Lissa's. However, there was no psychological bond involved.

So I declined Kirova's offer.

Two years later, Ivan died. Even though it wasn't on my watch, I took the blame. I couldn't take the pain any longer; I had completely blamed myself. Eventually the mentoring began. I've been a mentor to all sorts of dhampir kids. Pricks, princesses, annoying little... let's just say there's been a variety of kids under my watch, and not one of them left the same, or remotely less. They have all grown up into remarkable guardians, all in which are very successful.

That's when Kirova called me, recognizing my talent for the second time. This time, it was a different proposition. Train a young girl by the name of Rose Hathaway. This sounded like a breeze to me, but then I remembered the amazing Janine Hathaway. Rose was definitely not what I was expecting.

Maybe that was a good thing. A little diversity, huh?

Over a short time things developed to levels that they really honestly shouldn't have. Then, the next thing you know, I'm fucking her. Yeah, way out of line of me. It's completely idiotic and I have no idea how I let myself go that far.

I fucked up, big time! Not that I regret a single thing we've done together. Not one single moment.

"What?" I asked, flabbergasted.

Alberta gave the shrug of her shoulders. "Yeah, I mean Kirova's always been such a hard-ass, especially on Rose," she scoffed. "But she just changed her mind. Like that," she said with the snap of her fingers.

I took a moment to let the information sink in. Kirova had offered Rose a place back at St. Vladimir's. Shit. "So what did Rose say back to Kirova?" I asked, intent on the answer.

"Umm..." Alberta looked to be recalling her reaction. "She asked if she could think about it, or something," Alberta sent me a questioning look. "Why do you want to know?"

"Well, I mean, I'm only her mentor," I said rolling my eyes in an attempt to look annoyed. Alberta just laughed and slapped me on my back.

"Yeah, it's odd. Usually she doesn't demand for someone to be in her academy," she said, and this brought back memories from the day that she asked me to be a guardian here. I didn't say anything. "But I guess she recognized Rose's raw talent and wants her back. Or she's just selfish," she added with a smirk. I chuckled too, and we turned to each other. "I have duties now. I'll see you soon," she said and with a nod of her head, she turned to walk away from me.

I continued to walk off, unable to think of anything other than what Kirova had said to Rose. What if she accepted? What if she left me? I shook my head abruptly. I had to snap out of this. I was being selfish, and unprofessional. If Rose chooses to go to the academy, that is her choice.

We shouldn't even be sleeping together!

It felt like all of the things we had done together were catching up with me. I couldn't stop shaking my head. It felt like it was going to roll off at any moment. I couldn't deny that there was definitely something going on between the two of us that was undeniably true. I looked up only to see the person that I wanted to see most, Rose.

Unfortunately, Rose was with Kirova. They seemed to be talking about something, though Rose didn't look the least bit interested. I mentally laughed, that's Rose for you. Kirova seemed happy, and I've learned that a happy Kirova is never a good thing. I hate that bitch, and if she's snatched up Rose from me, I'm going to-

"Oh, Guardian Belikov, do come join us, good fellow," Rose called to me with an evident smirk on her face. I wiped the pissed look off of my face and walked over to join them.

"Hello Rose," I smiled then turned to the old bat, "Kirova," I said politely. Kirova gave me one of those smiles that meant 'I'm just smiling because if I didn't, it would be rude'.

"Guardian Belikov, I'm sure the rumor has somehow made its way to you, am I wrong?" she asked, her face weary.

"No." I said rather short.

"Good. What is your preference?" Rose looked over Kirova to me, and our eyes met for a few seconds before she flicked her eyes the other away.

I shrugged my shoulders. "It's completely Rose's decision," I said simply as I looked over at her. She looked deep in thought, almost as if she were torn between two things. In which case, she really was. I looked up at Kirova to see her with a smug smirk as she too was looking at Rose.

Still lost in thought, Rose said nothing except "I don't know..."

Kirova took her chance to choose for her. "I think that you should be educated here. It would be better, and I can guarantee you that your chances of becoming Lissa's guardian will be much higher."

"Well... I guess that makes sense," Rose said as she looked over Kirova to me one more time. Her eyes widened, noticing my shocked expression. I quickly covered it with my business-only guardian face.

"Guardian Belikov," Kirova turned to me. "I was wondering if you would like to be a sanctioned guardian here. Please, don't make me ask a fourth time," she said with a small smile.

I didn't know what to say. Rose wasn't even my charge anymore. I glanced down at Kirova and Rose- Kirova was smug whereas for the first time I saw Rose looking regretful. "I'll get back to you on that." I turned to leave. Rose called out to me, but I didn't turn around to her.

Rose caught up with me and wrapped her fingers around my biceps, though they didn't make it all the way around my muscle. I turned to her with a gruff look on my face. "What?" I asked icily. Rose looked taken aback. Her face was full of shock and remorse.

"I'm sorry, okay? Please don't act like this," she said, sounding more like her mother than I've ever heard her. I just shook my head.

"I'm acting completely normal," I said as I didn't spare her another glance. I continued walking until Rose's fingernails dug into my skin. I hissed as I turned around. "What!" I shouted this time. Now Rose's face was completely different. A look of anger and rage filled her features.

"So that's it? You're done with me? I fucked up big time, didn't I? I chose to go to school," Rose yelled. People around us stopped and stared at our little scene.

I cut her off. "Rose. Please! You're making a scene," I said through gritted teeth. She was acting like a child, and I didn't want people to think that I've been allowing her to act like this.

"No, Dimitri," she said, obviously not caring if anyone heard her use my real name. "I don't give a fuck. You act like I've just crushed your world-"

"You did!" I whispered as I walked off, feeling myself become numb.

Rose POV

I felt hurt and on top of that I felt like the biggest asshole under the sun. Dimitri's feelings for me were real, and I shot him down. I felt... words can't explain the utmost nauseated feeling I had now. For the past few days, I have been moping around, unable to get over the fact that I virtually flushed Dimitri and my relationship down the toilet. God!

"Rose, come on. You need to forget about it. He was weird anyway." Lissa said as she walked into the room with Christian in tow. I was sitting on my bed with my head out the window, staring at the campus below. The air was cold, though it was autumn. I wanted to go on and on about how perfect Dimitri was, and make sure that both Christian and Lissa understood that... but...

That's what I've been doing for the past two days.

A couple hours after out little "chat", let's call it that, Dimitri left on the first flight back to Russia. It was indeed weird, and a little immature, but I respected his actions. After all, if I were in his position, I would have done the exact same thing. Not saying that I'm... immature... you know? I'm not immature. Fine! I'm not that immature.

"Yeah, get a life," Christian added as he sat down on the bed across from mine. I never had a roommate, due to the lack of girl dhampirs, but nobody ever took it out or anything. I glanced over at him, but then turned back around to face the outside. Christian gasped, and laughed nervously. "You know, I kind of like this depressed Rose. She doesn't hurt me, or yell at me, or threaten to kill me. It's kind of nice."

"Fuck off, Christian," I scowled. Christian's laughter only continued. I sighed and rolled my eyes. Lissa walked over to me and sat down next to me. She rubbed her hand on my back as I put my chin on the windowsill.

"Look, I know he meant a lot to you, but if he really loved you, he would come back," Lissa said. I turned so that our eyes met. I smirked.

"No, Liss, it's my fault. I fucked up. He was there for me and stuff, and I chose to leave him," I said warily.

Lissa choked on a laugh. "Are you kidding me, Rose? You chose to stay here and have a bright future- a chance to be my guardian again. And you got it. You have your whole life planned out. Why are you worrying about him? Ten to one, you'll probably see him sometime in your future," Lissa mused.

"Whatever. I still feel like the world's biggest fuck up," I said softly and sighed.

I felt weight on the bed on the other side of me. I looked over at Christian. He managed a small smile. "I'm not good with this girl shit, but... I'd be willing to paint our nails together, watch crappy soap operas, and eat buckets full of ice cream all night," Christian said with a faux excited grin.

"You know, Christian, not all girls are stereotypical like that," Lissa said in a calm voice. Christian just shrugged.

"That's what happens on TV," he got off the bed and stuck his hands in his pockets. Lissa wrapped her arms around me and I laid my head on her chest. She slowly stroked my hair; it gave me the most comfort.

"Christian, can you wait outside for a moment? I think I'm going to talk to Rose," Lissa said quietly. Christian noticed the seriousness of the situation and got the hint that I was about to break. He nodded and walked to the door, opened it and silently closed it behind him. Lissa looked down at me her face showing sadness and I felt my eyes build up with tears.

"I love him, Lissa. Seriously," I said honestly. Lissa smiled down at me warmly and gently kissed my forehead.

"I know you do. That's why," she sat me up and got off my bed. She grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet. "We're going out tonight. Err, Jesse's having a party. I suppose that's the closest thing to going out around here..."

I groaned. "No Lissa... I'm not in the mood."

"Yes, you are, it's been two and a half days. We're both going to go get fucked up. Come on!" she said demandingly and pulled me into the bathroom. "Go take a shower. You stink."

"Thanks for the reassurance, friend."

"Always here for you," Lissa laughed. I sighed as I stripped down and got into the shower. I washed myself off pretty well before getting out and toweling off. My mind floated back to Dimitri in the shower with me. I sighed and shook off the thought. Lissa opened the door and threw a pair of black lacy underwear and bra at me. I grabbed them in mid air as Lissa closed the door behind her. I put on the garments and walked out of the bathroom. I looked at Lissa who was rummaging through her things.

"What's that?" I asked, nodding to the clothes in her hands.

"I brought over some dresses," she said with a wide grin. I rolled my eyes as she laid three dresses on the spare bed. "So there's the little black dress," she said in a cutesy tone as she placed down a black dress with a lace hem and strapless top part. "and ….." batting her eyelashes at me she laid down a red dress that had a ripple look to it and was also extremely short. "Last but not least," she placed a grey sweater dress, which looked the most casual, and not sluttish. Lissa scoffed after she dropped that dress on the bed and pulled it back. "Now that's not whorish enough," she turned to me and laughed.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "You expect me to go out in these..." I could barely call them dresses. Though they were super sexy, I had to admit that they looked like dress code for hooker-wear. "Articles of clothing?"

Lissa nodded her head vigorously. "You used to love wearing these types of clothes..."

"Great. Throw my slut background at me and make me more tempted," I said as I bit my lower lip. God, that black dress would look good on my curves I thought to myself.

Lissa smirked. "I see you checking out that black dress. Don't lie. Now pick it up, and go put it on in the bathroom. Get!" I sighed as I slipped Lissa a fake smile. She knew me just too well. "Come on now," Lissa urged.

I picked up the dress and headed to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me before pulling the dress on. It fit me so well; I might have been wearing another layer of skin. I should have known this is Lissa's we're talking about. Lissa is the size of my pinky finger.

I walked out and Lissa gasped. "Jesus fricking God... you look amazing!" Lissa gushed and pulled me in for a tight hug.

I fought for breath gasping dramatically. Lissa let go and apologized. I shook my head; "It's the dress," I breathed. Okay, it wasn't that bad- no where near as bad as a corset. Those things are killers.

"Oh stop it," Lissa slapped my arm playfully. "Now let's get to work on your make up!" Lissa said pointing her finger in the air like this was something actually important.

"Great!" I said with super faux excitement.

"Come on, Rose, you'll look amazing," Lissa said with an ear to ear grin. I could tell she was excited. For the millionth time, she led me into the bathroom. She had brought over her make up kit; I had only brought little amounts of things since I was only expecting to be here for a week. All of my things were coming in the next few days.

Lissa stared with my eyes. She first gave me a layer of liquid eyeliner on my eyelid, and then moved on with my mascara. It was already starting to look good as she applied some nude coloured eye shadow. Next she added some concealer and foundation. Lastly, she added some glossy cherry flavoured lip gloss. I rubbed my lips together to even it out.

To my surprise, Lissa continued on to my hair. She added loose curls that cascaded smoothly down my back; I was really a sight for sore eyes. Lissa took a step back to admire me.

"Wow, Rose! Am I a magician or what?" she asked, throwing her hands in the air. "Damn! You look hot!" I could just smile at my reflection in the full length mirror. Crap. I did look pretty good. "Now, let's just go back to my room for a few minutes so I can get ready, then we'll head over to Jesse's."

I nodded and we headed over to Lissa's. She fixed herself up a lot quicker, and soon enough, we were on our way over to Jesse's room. He shared a room with Ralf, and since they were Moroi, and Royal at that, they got an enormously big room. It was like a flat, pretty much, and it was totally fucking unfair.

Liss and I walked over the threshold of Jesse and Ralf's room, and all eyes turned to us. Lissa was practically glowing. I smiled at her and grabbed her hand as we walked further into the flat. Every single guy's eyes were on us.

"Hey, Rose, didn't know you were back," Ralf said, walking over to us as he practically drooled at the sight of us. He was heavyset and bulky, not exactly fat- he was a Moroi after all. It was hard to explain his body structure. There was an easy way to explain Ralf's face though, one word, and that was: Ugly.

"Hey there, Ralf," he tried to hand me a cup, but I declined. Lissa walked up to me with a cup and I gladly took it. At least I knew that Lissa wouldn't drug me. I turned to walk away from Ralf, but he grabbed my arm and spun me around. He brought me to him with his lips inches from my forehead. He was tall, that was for sure. However, he was definitely not Dimitri tall. Shit I had to think of him! I slammed the whole cup of vodka in ten seconds.

"I missed you and your beautiful-"

I stopped him mid sentence. "Okay, Ralf, you're totally drunk, get the hell off of me!" I said with a growl and ripped out of his grip. He grabbed for me again, and I slapped his hand away. "Back off!" I shouted. Ralf stared at me wide eyed, and people around us laughed at him. I smirked whipped my hair over my shoulder and sauntered off to a group of girls. They were all shouting things, but I wasn't exactly sure what.

For then next couple hours, I played beer pong, drank far too much alcohol, played truth or dare, etc. I came across a group of people who I vaguely remembered. There were about five girls, and just past them, I could see Jesse's sexy face.

Pushing through the girls, Jesse's eyes caught on me. "R-Rose, hey!" Jesse said, obviously excited. He shooed the girls away and then it was just the two of us. Jesse came closer and wrapped his arms around my waist. "What's up?" he whispered in my ear. I could detect a bit of alcohol on his breath. I took the cup from him and took a long sip. Jesse just laughed.

"Hi Jesse," I said as I bit my bottom lip flirtatiously. Jesse just smirked as he brought his hand up and brushed a few strands of hair off of my face. He leaned in and kissed me full on the lips. I kissed him back before pulling away and putting a hand on his chest. "Feeling bold, are we?" I asked, a smile lingering on my lips. A little part of me felt like I was cheating on Dimitri... but then again, I "crushed his world" so... he can suck it! I shook that thought off, that was the irrational (and slightly intoxicated) part of me speaking.

Putting Jesse's drink down, I brought his face down onto mine. I snaked my arms around his neck and pulled him as close as possible. Jesse's hands traveled down to my ass, but I didn't mind for some odd reason. Jesse fell back onto a chair, a love seat, and I fell onto him, straddling his waist. Someone turned on some loud music, and the room started pulsing with bass.

"Mmm... Rose," Jesse moaned. I internally groaned. I had just realized how much I missed the way Dimitri moaned my name. Roza... Mmmm... Now all I got was a drunk, horny, teenaged boy moaning it. Let me tell you, it was nothing compared to my Russian God.

Jesse started to lift my dress, but I slapped his hands. I broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. "No," I said promptly. Jesse smirked.

"Come on. We'll just do a quickie. We can go to my room. I promise it will be quick. I've always wanted to do it with you," Jesse said with an irresistible smile. I wanted to say yes- Yes, yes Jesse! Let's go at it like rabbits!- but it wouldn't feel right.

"No, Jesse. I said no. Let me go," I said, getting off of him. To my disappointment, he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me closer to him, grinding my hips to his. I could feel his erection poking out. "Jesse! Stop!" I shouted as I forcefully pushed him off of me, nearly breaking his wrists in the process. I pulled my dress back down over my ass as I glared at him before walking out of the room. He watched me as I left and called after me. I ignored him, giving him the bird as I walked out of his flat. I saw Lissa all over Christian in the hallway, and I sped past her before she could tell who I was.

"Rose?" she asked. I ignored her and continued down the corridor. I pushed the doors open, revealing the sunset. It was beautiful- wait, what the fuck? How long was I at that party! If it's sunset the next day... I pulled out my phone and checked. It was five fucking AM. I laughed out loud; obviously I was a little intoxicated still.

I sat down on a bench. There was no one out and about at this time. I saw some people leaving Jesse's party and walking to their respective rooms, but other than that, there was nobody. Not even guardians, which was especially odd. Usually they were out all the time.

I rolled my eyes as I smiled at the beautiful sunset. I have to say... it's soo beautiful! I laughed some more. Lissa ran up to me and put her hand on my back. I looked up at her and smiled lazily.

"Hey, babe," I said and choked on a laugh. Lissa formed a small smile, but then her face went back to concerned.

"Rose, are you okay?" she asked, patting me on the back. I jumped off the bench and lurched forward. I dizzily dropped down on my knees. I saw Christian out of the corner of my eye run up to us.

"Is she okay?" he asked. How nice, maybe the prick does care about my after all. I started gagging, so I couldn't hear Lissa's response. I started to wretch, though it didn't have that horrible, repulsive feeling that makes you only want to throw up more. I held my hands at my throat and looked down at the sidewalk that was under me.

"Rose! Rose, are you okay?"

"Did I just throw up?" I asked, bringing my thumb to the corner of my lips trying to wipe at my lips to see if there was any vomit there. There wasn't.

"No, you just jumped forward and looked like you were..."

That nauseous feeling was still there. It reminded me of that time that I was in the park with Dimitri in Siberia. I smiled at the memory, but then the rest of it came back to me. Wait- fuck!

TBC

Was that too stereotypical? Well you guys aren't mentally deficient- you know what's going to happen. Wait... you are retarded? Oh sorry, man.

Anyway, sorry for the late update. I kept on pushing it out of the way. Pft. I fail, I know. I just had a nice burger, nothing can ruin my mood! Now get out there, and REVIEW! Thanks bro.

Does anyone watch Misfits?

BETA'D BY DPOWER!