Disclaimer: I don't own Sea World, or Shamu, or Hairspray, the wizard of Oz, the mall, or most importantly of all...twilight.
songs used this chapter: Mama I'm A Big Girl Now- Hairspray
songs used last chapter: Burnin Up- Jonas Brothers
The Next Day at the Cullen's:
"So Alice." said Bella. "I just got these tickets for Sea World in the mail."
"SWEET!" said Alice. "Just like the blubber of a killer whale!"
"What?" said Bella sadly. "You'd kill Shamu?"
"No!" laughed Alice nervously. "I said let invite Rosalie…who's lover is a killer whale."
"Oh, okay!" said Bella. "Then maybe she'll like me!"
"Yes." said Alice. "But in the meantime, TO THE MALL! FOR A SEA WROLD OUTFIT!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" moaned Bella, being dragged to Alice's Porsche. "WHAT A WORLD, WHAT A WORLD!"
The Next Day at Bella's House:
"Mom!" whined Bella into the phone. "Why won't you let me go to Sea World with Alice and Rosalie?"
"But Shamu's only killed a few people!" whined Rosalie into her cell phone to Esme.
"Yeah!" agreed Alice. "And we've only killed a few people too!"
And then everyone knows what comes next: the background music in the background!
Renee: Don't contradict me!
Esme: Don't disobey me!
"OMC!" screamed Alice. "I have no one to sing to!" so with lightning speed, so fast that not even a beat passed by, she burst into the Clearwater's house and ran up to Sue. Sue was a large fan of Hairspray, and had heard the background music, and knew just what to do.
Sue: Don't even think about going to that audition.
Alice, Bella, and Rosalie: Please!
Moms: No!
Girls: Mother!
Moms: Stop!
Alice: Stop telling me what to do
Moms: Don't!
Rosalie: Don't treat me like a child of two
Moms: No!
Bella: I know that you want what's best
Moms: Please!
Bella: But mother, please
Girls: Give it a rest!
All: Stop! Don't! No! Please!/ Stop! Don't! No! Please!/ Stop! Don't! No! Please!/ Mama. I'm a big girl now!/
Bella: Once upon a time when I was just a kid/ You never let me do just what the older kids did/ But lose that laundry list of what you won't allow/ Girls: Cause mama, I'm a big girl now
Rosalie: Once upon a time I used to play with toys/ But now I'd rather play around with teenage boys/ So, if i get a hickey, please don't have a cow/ Girls: Cause mama, I'm a big girl now
Alice: Ma, I gotta tell you that without a doubt/ I get my best dancing lessons from you/ You're the one who taught me how to "twist and shout"/ Because you shout non-stop/ And you're so twisted too/ Whoa/
Bella: Once i used to fidget/ 'Cause I just sat home/ Rosalie: :But now I'm just like Gidget/ And i gotta get to Rome!/ Alice: So say, arrivederci! Bella: Toodle-loo! Rosalie: And ciao! Girls: 'Cause mama, I'm a big girl now
All: Stop! Don't! No! Please!/ Stop! Don't! No! Please!/ Stop! Don't! No! Please!/
Girls: Mama, I'm a big girl now (Hey mama, Say mama)
Bella: Once upon a time I was a shy young thing/ Could barely walk and talk so much as dance and sing/ But let me hit that stage, I wanna take my bow/
Girls: Cause mama, I'm a big girl now
Rosalie: Whoa/ Once upon a time I used to dress up Ken/ But now that I'm a woman, I like bigger men/ And I don't need a Barbie doll to show me how/
Girls: Cause mama, I'm a big girl now
Girls: Ma, you always taught me/ What was right from wrong/ And now I just wanna give it a try/ Mama, I've been in the nest for far too long/ So please give a push and mama watch me fly
Rosalie: Watch me fly Girls: Hey, mama, say mama
Alice: Someday I will meet a man/ You won't condemn
Rosalie: And we will have some kids/ And you can torture them
Bella: But let me be a star/ Before I take that vow
Girls: Cause mama, i'm a big girl now
Alice: Oh - Oh - Oh
Girls: Mama, I'm a big girl now
Rosalie: Hey - Hey - Hey
Girls: Mama, I'm a big girl
Rosalie: Ooh, such a big, big girl!
Girls: I'm a big girl now
All: Stop! Don't! No! Please!/ Stop! Don't! No! Please!/ Stop! Don't! No! please!/ Girls: Mama, I'm a big girl now!
Over at the Clearwater's…
"Hey Mom," said Leah, bursting into the kitchen. "I heard the background music and I- LE GASP!"
"This isn't what it looks like sweetie!" said Sue, looking nervous.
"It looks like you're singing show tunes with Alice, when you won't sing them with me, your own flesh and blood!"
"I CAN EXPLAIN!"
"There's no need to explain!" cried Leah dramatically. "I've never been your favorite child! I should just do away with my self and do the world a favor!" and she sunk to the floor dramatically.
Alice turned to Sue. "Is she always this dramatic?"
Sue sighed. "Yes. She's my little drama queen."
"WHAT?" screamed Aro, bursting into the kitchen.
"This isn't what it looks like!" cried Sue again.
"I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR LITTLE DRAMA QUEEN!"
"Whoa Mom," said Seth, walking in like a normal person, "You gots some 'splainin to do!"
"Wait," said Sue. "I don't even know you."
"It is I!" screamed Aro. "ARO THE MAGNIFICENT!"
"Sounds like a name for a tacky magician." noted Alice.
"Sounds like someone is trying to figure out that I gave Bella Sea World tickets and changed all the songs on her ipod to Hairspray!" replied Aro.
"WHAT?" asked Leah, getting up from the floor. "You're the reason my mom was singing show tunes with a bloodsucker?"
"SPARE ME LEAH OF THE LEASHES!" screamed Aro, flinching. "And no, that little drama was an unexpected extra."
Leah twitched her eye and turned to Seth. "AFTER HIM MUTT!"
"NO!" responded Seth. "FIGHT THE POWER!"
"Well okay then…" said Leah, and she turned to Alice. "AFTER HIM LEECH!"
"BARK BARK!" barked Alice, baring her teeth. And then she lunged at Aro.
"Whoa." said Seth. "Your powers work on vampires too!"
"I know," said Leah in awe. "I MUST USE THIS POWER FOR GOOD!"
"Radical!" said Seth. "Well I'm off the see our groovy wolf brothers. Peace."
Leah watched Alice beat up Aro and smiled. "Nah," she said. "Evil's more fun."