A/N: That was weird last time. Monaco is going to be prevented from getting in the ending from here on out, so don't worry.

Monaco: HEY!

Canada: Please don't shout...

Romano: I don't care. Get going with the story. Which bast-!

Brooke: No foul Language!

Dakota: Quack. There, FOWL language.

No copyright infringement is intended, this is under the Fair Use clause.

Next one's... *Drum Roll* England and ? ? ?

(Set the next day)

Brooke sighed and leaned back. Today was one of her random furlough day at Macy's, since they wanted to keep profits up, all workers would get a few furlough days on different days of the month. So it wasn't really random, but she preferred to call it that-and wrote it that way on the calendar.

Ding~dong

Brooke got up and walked to the door. Canada had gotten a driving license in with Romano's manual, why it was with Romano was beyond all of them. But he was a pretty good driver, not scary like Romano.

So Canada had driven himself and Romano to their jobs, Dakota had a big meeting at one of the places she wrote for, and Brooke had her day off.

"Hello." Brooke said as she opened the door. There was a deliveryman with a large crate.

"Package for Dakota Roth." He stated.

"Yes, you can bring it inside." Brooke said. He handed her a clipboard and a pen before he wheeled in the crate. Brooke scribbled something in cursive that looked vaguely like her sister's signature, with very obvious 'D' and 'R' letters. She handed the clipboard and pen back to the deliveryman, who took it and handed her a manual.

"Good luck miss." He turned and left. Brooke looked at the manual.

Arthur Kirkland: User Guide and Manual

"Okay, since I'm not Dakota, I'm going to read the manual's wake up instructions." Brooke said to herself. Just then her cell phone when off, blaring an instrumental version to "The Star-Spangled Banner".

Brooke panicked, that was exactly one of the worse wake-up methods.

"What the Bloody hell?" England yelled. She opened her phone, shutting off the song.

"What is it?" Brooke snapped at her phone.

"Just calling to tell you I'm going to be getting back around two. Like your ring tone?" Dakota asked.

"We got ENGLAND!" Brooke said.

"Good luck with that!" Dakota hung up. Just then, the crate exploded. As England stepped out of the side he punched open, a white blur came flying down the stairs.

England then started chasing Brooke, while being chased by Kumajirou. To an outside observer, it would be quite the scene to watch. However Brooke ended it quickly by running past a door and opening it right in England's way.

"Is he dead?" Kumajirou asked, nudging the unconscious nation. Brooke knelt down and felt for a pulse.

"No. He's alive, just unconscious." Brooke decided.

"Aw." Kumajirou walked away dejectedly.

"There goes the attack polar bear." Brooke said. "Now about you England, you are probably heavier then me. I don't think I can magically get you on a couch."

Brooke tried picking up his arm.

"Holy cheese niz England! You are a girl in weight!" Brooke said startled. "You can't even be 140 or 150! Well, anyway, now you're on the couch at least. Now to find the manual. Manual? Accio manual!"

Nothing happened.

"Well, it was worth a try." Brooke sighed. She picked up the manual (after finding it next to the wreckage of his crate) and looked at the weight estimation.

"Bah! US government, why you no switch to metric?" Brooke said as she got on her computer to convert the weight. "You are a girl with your weight! Stupid British food..."

"Nyyggh..." A groan came from the couch. "Wh-what are you calling stupid you Yank?"

"Gyah! Y-you're awake..." Brooke squeaked.

"I feel like I ran into a wall or got really drunk. Don't tell me it was getting drunk." England rubbed his head.

"Y-you mean you don't remember?" Brooke said, looking a bit shocked.

"Wait, you were the one with the Psychotic polar bear. Who are you exactly?" England asked.

"My name's Brooke, the polar bear was Kumajirou-Canada's pet." Brooke explained.

"Canada?" England asked confused.

"You know that colony that became independent in the '80s, the one more northern than the United States in North America, the one that landed at Juno beach during the D-Day Invasion. That Canada." Brooke said. "Now can you remember?"

"Oh, yes! Matthew! He was one of the former colonies of the Frog." England said.

"See! Now you remember! Geez, the second largest country isn't THAT hard to forget." Brooke said.

"... Very well then. I sincerely apologize for my behavior earlier." England apologized.

"Uh, yeah, sure." Brooke said.

The two stood there, well, sat- England was still sitting on the couch and Brooke was in the computer chair.

"Do you want something to eat?" Brooke finally asked.

"Let me." England said. Brooke paled.

"No, no! That's okay! I hit you with the door, so I should cook!" Brooke said desperately. The manual said explicitlyto not let him cook.

Ding~dong

"Well, I'm popular today. England, stay out of the kitchen." Brooke ordered. England shrugged and followed Brooke to the door. It was the deliveryman, AGAIN.

"You got two, I'm sorry!" the man said and wheeled in the crate. "I'm kinda new at this so, yeah."

"It's okay. Can I have the manual?" Brooke asked. "We all mess up in our first week or so of work."

He handed the manual to Brooke and left, claiming something about getting behind in deliveries.

Brooke looked at the title of the manual, making sure her phone was turned off.

Antonio Fernandez Carriedo: User Guide and Manual

"Oh, BLEEP!" Brooke said, quickly looking at the wake up methods.

"What is it?" England asked.

"You, stay quiet! I need to finish reading this before waking him up. Too many situations were caused by not finishing reading the manual." Brooke said, pointing at England.

"Is it the Git?" England asked.

"I told you to be quiet. And it's not America." Brooke said.

"Who is it then?" England demanded.

"Obviously you do not understand that I asked you to be quiet, but I will tell you. I think it's Spain." Brooke said.

"Oh. Just him. He's pretty harmless. Except, he wasn't on the list. Odd." England said, wandering over to his box.

"What list?" Brooke asked. "England!"

"The countries you are getting. We have a rough idea of who's coming, but they make sure the Bad Touch Trio does NOT get sent to young people after what happened." England said.

"What happened?" Brooke asked.

"A young girl got stuck with the Bad Touch Trio. All of her other Units took the other side from them. It was a Unit World War. They ended up having to send someone out to shut them down." England shuddered.

"So the worst fear of a Unit is to get shut down?" Brooke asked. England nodded. "But... aren't you people too? So, wouldn't it be murder?"

England sighed. "I really don't know now."

Brooke blinked a few times at him before turning to the box. "Now to wake you up... ah, that'll work since I know some passable Spanish~!"

Brooke cleared her throat as she looked at the box. "Hola, amigo~! ¿Como estas?" she attempted to chirrup in her best probably-Mexican accent she could muster.

"¿Méjico?" A voice asked. If this was an anime, Brooke and England would have sweat-dropped right then and there.

"Uhh... no..." Brooke said, staring at the crate.

"Aw..." the voice said. "I thought it was my darling Méjico."

"W-well, I do know a bit of Mexican-Spanish..." Brooke said, trailing off.

"Don't encourage him." England said darkly, looking at the manual. "Hey Spain, get out of there, you look like an idiot."

Brooke glared at England. "Don't be rude!" she snapped at him.

"Inglaterra!" Spain exclaimed.

"Great, now he's freaking out." Brooke said, slapping her forehead with the manual.

"I don't have my navy." England said. Suddenly Spain started laughing.

"That is a difficult situation you are in, mi amigo." Spain said.

"At least I'm not in a box." England retorted. Spain stopped.

"Eh ahahaha! I knew that!" Spain said and shouldered a side open. "See!"

"You don't have a navy either, or an army." England said plainly. "We don't have anymilitary at all."

"Right, right, guys, cut it out! Hello, Spain, I'm Brooke. You know England already, I'm guessing. Currently we're in Pennsylvania and here's a tomato." Brooke said, appearing to pull a tomato out of thin air.

"Why does he get something to eat first?" England complained

"Because he'll just want a tomato. Besides, you are a gentleman." Brooke stated, walking into the kitchen. "Gentlemen don't cook."

"Ouch." Spain said as he walked past England, who was standing stupefied, and over into the kitchen.

"Hmm, so I've got this recipe for tamales... I've got the stuff to make it..." Brooke mumbled as she looked at a scrap of paper and the insides of the refrigerator. "Guess I'm making it then. Oh, hi Spain!"

"Hola~" Spain said, finishing the tomato. "Inglaterra is standing still over there, is he okay?"

"Of course you don't check." Brooke muttered darkly. "I'll see. Oi, England! ENGLAND!"

"Huh?" England said. "Sorry."

"What? You got the Bastard?" Romano yelled, pointing at Spain as he, Canada, and Dakota all returned home. Everyone, excluding Romano and Spain, flinched at his yelling.

"Please not so loud." Canada said. Romano did not pay him any attention. England walked into the room to see what the yelling was about.

"And you got that bastard was well?" Romano continued yelling, gesturing toward England.

"Romano, chill." Dakota said. Romano ignored her as well.

"I don't like being called that!" England said annoyed. Romano just redirected his yelling at Spain.

"What the Fuck to you think you are doing here?" Romano continued, and then kept screaming.

"I came~." Spain said blissfully ignoring that Romano was screaming his head off.

"Romano, shut up." Brooke tried, and was ignored.

"SHUT UP!" Canada yelled, louder than Romano. This time Romano fell silent in surprise. "Thank you."

Everyone blinked in surprise. How hadn't they noticed, in England and Spain's cases, or known, in everyone else's cases, that Canada could yell so loudly. Maybe it was from playing hockey.

Canada then returned to invisible mode, slightly embarrassed for some reason.

"Uh, thank you Canada." Dakota said. "Now then, we have both Spain and England. You two are going to have to get jobs."

"Why?" Spain asked.

"Because you make Romano angry. And I think Romano breaks stuff when he's angry. And also you two eat a ton of tomatoes, which few others in this house do." Brooke explained.

"And not just because I trust you even less than the others." Dakota murmured darkly. The house was in her name, so she didn't want to deal with damages.

"Hm, sí!" Spain said.

"Why not." England sighed. "As long as I don't have to deal with this idiot."

"You guys probably won't have the same job," Brooke said. "Your personalities are wildly different."

"I doubt you could even get hired at the same place. Most places are looking for one person. Canada, is that spa still hiring?" Dakota asked.

"Oui. They still have the sign up." Canada agreed. "And it is on the other side of the mall than your place Romano."

"Good." Romano huffed. "I don't want to see that bastard more than I have to."

"What about me?" England asked.

"There's a little bookstore in the mall as well. You could probably get hired there." Romano said more calmly. Brooke and Dakota exchanged a worried glance. Apparently the manual didn't mention Romano occasionally being calm and rational.

"Aw, my little tomato~."Spain said affectionately, draping his arm around Romano's shoulders.

"I. Am. Not. A. Fucking. Tomato." Romano retorted, glaring daggers at Spain. The others looked at each other worriedly.

"Spain does know that tomatoes are plants, right?" Dakota asked. England and Canada shrugged.

"I really don't know about that idiot." England said. "I really don't."

"Great. A nincompoop." Brooke said bluntly.

Canada pulled England and Romano into his room while Brooke was arguing with Spain over if she was Mexico or not. Dakota had busied herself with fudging resumes for the two downstairs.

"Since I read our manual, I have to say it applies to us in the least to us." Canada said, keeping his normal quiet tone.

"How so?" England asked. Romano raised an eyebrow as his question.

"Going down the list; we have two female owners both in the 18 to 28 bracket, they are not freaks, and they haven't once set any of us up." Canada listed off.

"They got the tomato bastard." Romano argued while continuing to sulk. England turned to him.

"But right now they are separating you two because you expressed an interest in not associating much with him. I agree with you, uh..." England trailed off. "Uh..."

"Canada." Canada reminded him.

"Oh yes, Canada."

"You forgot him, didn't you." Romano scowled. "I'm surrounded by hot girls, a bastard, an invisible person, and a forgetful ex-pirate. Why is my life so damn weird?"

A/N: What a wonderful summary Romano. We can definitely see your priorities. Chicks before 'bastards', then the invisible person before England. Man...why are all the hilarious people coming later? Random . org why you put most of the funnies later? Unless I start doing doubles... (kol kol kol kol kol)

CanDoAnythingNow, stop showing me disturbing sketches of vampire hamsters and having me look up sickles on google images. 4 communist symbols popped up on the first page. Now she somehow, by banging the keyboard, put the computer on standby.