Part 32
Everyone looked at me as I re-entered the bar, but no one had the courage to speak save one, perhaps it was the look in my eyes, or perhaps the way I was holding my jaw rigid.
"Well young man, what's happened?" I was by no means a young man, but as far as Octavia Fant was concerned my thousand years of immortal existence was not worth a penny. Perhaps it was her way of declaring her own wisdom and power, neither article of which I doubted. Whatever her desired effect with the choice of words they could not help but elicit a resigned smile from me.
"The spell is broken." A collective of human throats sighed in relief.
"Then where is she Brother Eric?"
"She needs some time." I was so glad that my voice had not broken as I said it. Papa B nodded, understanding more from my words than I had meant to disclose. But he was kind enough not to explore it.
"Well then we'll leave you to your peace Brother Eric."
"I owe you both a great debt Papa B. I will await your summons." I bowed my head to him in thanks and respect. He had earned both.
"Nonsense Brother. We are friends and allies. We await each other." He smiled his great toothless grin and collected up all the ladies save Pam. Amelia it seemed, was to be educated at Octavia's side from then on, and Marie was to be left at her home to gather her things before her final departure from my state.
Only Amelia turned back to me as the group was departing.
"I'm really sorry for my part in hurting your friend Mr. Northman. Will you please tell her I'm sorry?" I had no intention of doing it, and did not give her the satisfaction of any type of answer.
The bar became quiet very quickly with the sounds of the breathers now gone. It was only Pam and I for that moment, and there was no need for any pretense between us. I sat down heavily at the bar and dropped my head into my hands. My child was at my side in an instant.
"Eric?" She had never made much skill of hiding her emotions and her concern for me radiated outwards like a wave of sound, worry turning quickly to anger as it so often does, especially with my Pam. "What has happened?"
Acknowledging her emotions did not mean that I always responded to them however.
"I need time to be alone Pam."
"What has she done?"
"Please Pam, a moment." I did not even look up at her, but talked directly to the wooden bar beneath my face. I half expected a more vigorous fight from her, but she backed away.
"Fine, but only a moment. I'll go out and send Arthur home and see what's keeping those contractors." I heard her heels click away from me; their determined march fading as she went outside. My mind filled with the images of my Sookie, throat bared, blood on her lips, wrapped in the silk sheets of my bed, surrounded by the scent of our sex and our play. I could remember it all far too well, and the memories ripped at me.
Once again things had not gone as I had wished, and I was getting damned tired of it.
She had looked up at me after I had spoken the words to her, eyes wide, lips parted, frozen for a moment in time. At least she hadn't started screaming again, there was that. I brushed the back of my hand along the side of her face, tucking the long blond strands behind her ear and felt her tremble; and not in a good way. I stepped back when all I wanted to do was crush her to my chest.
"Sookie?" I offered, hoping it would break her from the seeming trance. "Sookie, do you remember me?"
She nodded, stiffly, her brow furrowed, her eyes narrowing in deep concentration.
"Do you know what has happened?"
Her eyes closed and she nodded again, trying to find words I assumed.
"What do you remember?"
"All of it." She finally whispered, taking a very long time to string together the three simple words. I wanted to be happy, but I also wanted her to leap into my arms, to kiss me, and to continue the train of thought she had begun before the spell had broken. You may call me selfish. I suppose I am.
"Sookie please, say something to me."
"Time Eric, I need some time." Again she stumbled to get the words out, the hardened look still twisting her beautiful soft features into something concerning. She pulled away from me, not that I had been holding her, but you know what I mean, and looking around at my office backed away to the farthest corner, head downcast where she slid down into a curled up mass and hid her face. She shut me out completely as surely as if she had told me to get out, which is exactly what I did.
Collapsed against the bar I replayed it all, and my mind ran every distasteful scenario that it could as my fists grew tighter and my rage threatened another section of the wood. It was not right. I was Eric Northman damn it, Sheriff of Area Five, thousand year old warrior, who was I to be bested by the fickle emotions of a girl? But yet there I was, miserable as a child who has lost a favored plaything, except that Sookie was not a plaything. I had allowed myself to plan a life around her, or at least a damn sight longer than a few days. I had made myself weak with love for her, and I saw it all collapsing around me. With a roar I pushed myself away from the bar, upending the stool I had been sitting on, earning myself raised eyebrows from Pam, who had re-entered with a burly looking vampire clutching a section of railing and a tool chest.
"Shall we start on the door then Eric?" She asked in her efficient, depreciating, manner.
"Start wherever you please Pam." I stalked off back to my office, not prepared to feel sorry for myself for one second longer. She would have me or she would not, but I would not mewl like a child; at least not where anyone could see me.
Her eyes caught mine as I opened the door to my office. I had done it slowly, to give her ample notice of my presence, and to give myself extra time to prepare for what I might find within. She was still sitting on the floor, but she appeared to have drawn herself back together somewhat more completely. She pursed her lips together in a sad little smile upon seeing me and stood up.
"Everyone is gone now, except Pam and the repairman. How are you feeling?"
"A little like a shuffled deck of cards, they're all in there, just a little out of order. And don't you dare say anything about me not playing with a full deck." Now that sounded like Sookie.
"I would not dare." I assured her, as much as I wanted to laugh.
"I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier. It was all just so confusing, it still is truth be told."
"I imagine that twenty-some years of memories flooding back in must be terribly disconcerting."
"To say the least." She sat herself down on the leather couch, the one I had laid her body on so recently. "We should talk."
The kiss of death, it could not have made my roiling gut feel any worse, but for the upturned corner of her mouth as she said it. I sat down beside her and turned to face her.
"What do you wish to talk about?"
"Everything that's happened?" She was hesitant and unsure. So I tried to steer her in a productive direction.
"How much do you remember about what happened to you?"
"I remember coming home from work, and seeing all the dirt on my porch." She must have been referring to the powder scattered there. "And I remember thinking that I should get a broom and sweep it up, but I never did." She had such a far away look as she spoke, but I knew it was simply because she was trying so hard to put everything in order in her head.
"What happened next?"
"I went into the spare room, I'd pulled out Gran's old suitcase that morning, before I went to work. I'd half packed it. Then something started to smell funny and, and, I don't remember anything else until I woke up just here, on your couch Eric, with you looking over me." At the time I did not ponder how very difficult it must have been for her to have a memory of a time when she did not have any memories. I will leave the paradox of all that to the philosophers.
"Why were you packing the suitcase Sookie?" I knew the answer but I wanted to make certain that she knew it too, or perhaps I meant to see if she would tell me.
"I was coming to see you Eric." Her voice had slowed again, but this time I think it was more out of apprehension than anything else.
"Why?" For that question I did not have the answer, but I craved it.
"I felt so guilty for not being honest with you Eric, it had been eating at me for a long time. I was coming to tell you what had happened when you'd stayed with me. What had happened between us."
"You mean that we had made love?" I knew I was pressing my luck, but it was the elephant in the room, and I had to get it out.
"Yes." She dropped her eyes down to the couch.
"But why the suitcase Sookie?"
"Because I was hoping that when I got here that you'd ask me to stay." Her voice was so quiet, not that I had any trouble hearing it.
"I would have." I whispered back to her.
"Oh gods Eric." She squeaked. I loved that she had used my words again. It meant that I was in there somewhere, and it gave me such hope. I reached out and tipped her chin upwards to look at me again.
Her blue eyes were beginning to tear up. The permission was implicit, if not broad, and I bent my head to her, and brushed my mouth over hers. It was not chaste, but neither was it demanding. I took a single breath from her and pulled away. A tear rolled down her cheek and it was my turn to sweep it away.
"Let me take you back to my house Sookie. Let me show you that your memories are true and honest."
"It isn't that simple Eric."
I sighed, and smiled indulgently at her.
"With you Sookie Stackhouse, it never is."
Reviews are love.