A/N: Hello again. This story is going to go on a few month delay due to Marching Band and school starting up. Chapter 6 is nearly done and when Chapter 7 is going to be started is unknown. Thank you for continuing to read this even with my horrible updating schedule!

I only own Brooke and Dakota and the humor. All copyrighted materials are being used under the fair use clause.

(a week later, really early in the morning)

"Nygh..." Brooke moaned softly as she carefully put her shoes away. She then walked up to her room, carefully avoiding the squeaky step and floor board, pulled on her pajamas before climbing into bed to fall asleep.

"Vee? Brooke? Brooke?" Italy pestered.

"Mmm..." Brooke groaned, turning away from him.

"Brooke!" Italy exclaimed softly.

"...What?" Brooke said sleepily.

"There's a spider in my room." Italy whimpered. Brooke got up, grabbed a boot, and walked over to the Italian's room. There was a large sized spider, which Brooke promptly smashed with the boot.

"Go to sleep." She ordered, walking back to her room.

"Vee, I don't want to sleep in there though." Italy said. He climbed onto Brooke's bed. "I can sleep with you, right?"

"No. I'm sleeping downstairs. Don't bug me." Brooke grabbed an extra blanket and pillow. She curled up on the couch and fell asleep.

Ding~dong. Ding~dong. Ding~dong.

Brooke stumbled off the couch, mumbling incoherently. She opened the door.

"Yeah?" she asked, not caring she looked horrible.

"Pakage for a Dako-" Deliveryman number Five read off.

"Yeah, yeah. Lemme sign." Brooke said, taking the signature pad and pen and scrawled a completely indecipherable squiggle. He took the pan and handed her the manuals as he wheeled in the two crates. Brooke sat down leaning against the crates and looked at the two manuals, uttering gibberish in multiple languages.

"Nihao...mgh, da... Magicarp...Nein..." She mumbled. "Soumi... masen."

"..." the crates replied.

"Better open them, yeah." Brooke said, picking up the crowbar from where they had put it nearby and pulled the lid off one of the crates before sitting down again.

An Asian boy carefully peaked his head out of the crate, looking cautiously around for anyone. He saw Brooke sitting against the crate with the crowbar.

"Pst!" the other crate whispered. "Hey!"

"Hm? You are awake too, aru?" He replied quietly, guessing the girl was asleep.

The Asian boy ducked his head down as Brooke got up and opened a small box that came with the other one.

"Aw...so cute...nyaa..." Brooke said sleepily. The boy pulled himself up to see what was 'so cute.'

It was a little yellow chick.

He carefully pulled himself out of the crate just as the other one started trying to break open the crate.

Wham. Wham!

A blue-uniformed albino stood there. Just then the girl lost consciousness, getting caught by the albino and dropping the chick who was rescued by the Asian boy.

"Uh..." The albino said.

"Let's put her on the couch." the other said. The two had just laid her down when a thick-browed Brit came walking carefully down the stairs.

"What? Brooke!" England exclaimed fairly loudly, before dropping his volume. "What happened?"

"She passed out on me." the albino said.

"England! Hush!" Dakota exclaimed softly. She came down the stairs carefully as well. "Oh hi."

"Nihao." the Asian replied.

"Let's take this outside." Dakota said, leading the three others outside and picking up the two dropped manuals.

"Alright then, why outside?" England asked.

"Because Brooke is asleep." Dakota said. "Now introductions. I'm Dakota, this is England, the other girl was Brooke."

"Prussia. So the girl that passed out on me was Brooke?" Prussia asked.

"Yeah. Sorry, she does that if she is extremely tired. She had to restock last night." Dakota said.

"My name is China." China greeted.

"Since we are outside, we normally go by our human names." England explained. "For example, I go by Arthur Kirkland."

"Ah, so I would be Wang Yao, aru." China mused. "Or western Yao Wang."

"Gil Beilschmidt." Prussia stated.

"Wait, you are the Female version, but you are not going by the normal female name." Dakota noticed, looking at the manual. "Or am I losing my ability to read English correctly?"

"So? I'm Awesomer than the Julchens." Prussia defended. "The girl ones have a lower level of Awesome than me."

"Why is Méjico asleep on the couch?" Spain said walking out to where the four others were.

"She'll tell us when she gets up." England stated. "Everyone was warned not to wake her at any cost, except these two."

"I think that will be a little earlier." Spain said, turning back to the house. There was Brooke, wrapped in her blanket.

"France was being France." Brooke said.

"He. Is. Dead." Dakota stormed past the two, cracking her knuckles. The others followed to see the result.

"Fra-nce! I have something for you!" Dakota called sickly sweet. France looked over from the couch before paling.

"Ahhhh!" France yelled as he ran away from Dakota, who had bipolared back to Rage.

A few minutes later his legs were tied to the back of a chair and his wrists handcuffed with the handcuffs Dakota had in her bag. Dakota was happily propping her feet up on the chair, eating a slice of bread with Nutella on it.

"Why do you have handcuffs in your bag and rope in multiple closets and drawers aru?" China asked.

"For times like these." Dakota said, taking another bite of bread.

"Has this ever happened before?" Prussia asked, also with a slice of bread with Nutella on it.

"Everyday for the last week, France does something and Dakota punishes him." England said. "Though her methods are odd."

"Isn't there something in your Constitution against Cruel and Unusual Punishment?" France pleaded from the floor.

"It's in the Bill of Rights. But you are French, not American." Dakota stated. "Deal with it Frog."

"She got you there papa." Canada said, also propping his feet on the chair. "Think he's going to learn, eh?"

"Who knows?" Dakota replied. "Brooke, are you really going to drink that coffee?"

"I'm awake, so I better get the sleepies out of my head." Brooke said, holding the cup.

"Okay then. So, wait, we got the whole Bad Friends Trio!" Dakota said. "Excluding the fact that you are a Fem Unit."

"Are we really the Bad Friends Trio if we have a girl?" Spain asked.

"Non!" France yelled from the floor.

"I'm Awesome enough to though!" Prussia argued.

Whump.

Everyone looked at Brooke, who had fallen asleep. Dakota took the cup full of coffee away from her sister's hands and placed it a few inches away.

"So much for awake." Dakota sighed. She glanced at a clock. "Canada, you are in charge until I get back from my doctor's appointment or Brooke wakes up!"

She then grabbed her keys to her car and hurried out the door.

"Who?"

"That's me." Canada waved from his chair. "Mr. Kuma, please babysit Papa until I can get back over here."

He then proceeded to set the polar bear cub, which everyone guessed was pretty light, seeing him carry it around easily, on France.

"Oof!" France grunted as the bear was set on his stomach. "How much does he weigh?"

"Mr. Kuma? Oh, 22 to 27 kilograms." Canada replied, picking up Brooke to put her back on the couch.

"That much?" Everyone left exclaimed.

"So?" Canada replied, walking back in the room. "And shush, Brooke is sleeping."

"Hi sister!" Brooke said happily as her sister walked back inside.

"Yo." Dakota replied, pulling off her boots and jacket. "Good news, next spring I'm back in action."

"The doctor okay-ed your wrist?" Brooke exclaimed.

"The doctor and nurses had to take an X-Ray and physical therapy had to check it to make sure. I was there for three flippin hours just for a the all clear." Dakota said. "Where's France?"

"Watching Disney movies with Canada." Brooke said, pouring popcorn into a bowl. "We're trying to reprogram him as best we can."

"Or scar him." Dakota replied. "Where's China and Prussia? Along with the Italies, Spain, and England."

"China found my old bin of stuffed animals, Prussia is at war with the closet moths, Italies and Spain are at work with England." Brooke reported.

"Die spider! Die!"

"And the spiders." Brooke added after Prussia's shout from upstairs. "Italy's room is especially infested."

"Oh Mein Gott! The spider is on my head!" Prussia screamed, running downstairs. "Get it off! Get it off!"

Canada grabbed a tissue and brushed the spider off and stepped on it with his shoe.

"Hey, Dakota's back." Prussia said, walking over and calming down. "So what was the doctor's appointment about?"

"I busted my wrist a few months back, it was a check up to see if it healed." Dakota said.

"You didn't bust it though." Brooke said. "That man did."

"I smell a story here. Tell me." Prussia said, sitting on a stool.

"Dakota was finishing up a knights demo with the reenactment group she worked with when this guy comes up to the group. Dakota was in full armor with a sword, and he was just in normal civilian clothes, but he drew a knife. Dakota ordered him to back off, walking over to him. He tried to knife someone in the crowd, but Dakota got in the way, her armor protecting her. She drew her sword and ordered him to stand down, but he attacked her. Dakota fell on her wrist oddly and then managed to twist around after he put his foot on her back to stab his leg with the sword. Then two of the other knights, who were both big guys, pulled crazy knife dude off her." Brooke explained.

"And how do you know this?" Prussia asked.

"Oh, I was standing near the person he was trying to knife. I called the police as the two men restrained him." Brooke replied.

"He was trying to attack a young girl." Dakota said. "My friends said I must of been a soldier or knight in a past life or something."

"Sounds like it!" Prussia laughed. "But you are a girl, isn't it obvious about your true gender when you are in costume?"

Dakota dropped her head in shame. Brooke facepalmed.

"Kota-kun wears guy shirts for a reason. There isn't much chest volume there to cover." Brooke said.

"Shut up Brooke." Dakota said and slapped the back of Brooke's head.

"Ow! Now I have sympathy for DiNozzo on NCIS." Brooke said.

"You look like a guy?" Prussia said. "That cause any problems?"

"A couple times..." Dakota admitted.

"That would stink." Prussia agreed.

"Brooke, did you burn the popcorn or something eh?" Canada asked.

"Coming!" Brooke hurried over with the bowl of popcorn to where France was tied to a chair and Canada was sitting on the couch. "Resume reprogramming sequence, now."

"What's China doing?" Dakota asked. "And how fares our soldier against the Spider and Moth hordes?"

"I don't know about China...and you really had to make that sound bigger than that really was, didn't you." Prussia responded.

"Of course!" Dakota smiled. "Now let's check on China to make sure he hasn't drowned in plush."

The two walked upstairs and opened the door to China's room. China had his back to them and was playing with the stuffed animals.

"Cute! Help me build the great wall!" China said, then laughed. Dakota and Prussia closed the door carefully.

"Psycho China." Dakota said.

"Ja." Prussia replied, pale faced. "Ja."

"Mein Gott!" Prussia shouted again. Once again a spider had decided to land on her head.

"Get it off!" Dakota yelled, also with one of the suicidal spiders on her head.

"I swear you two are spider magnets!" Brooke exclaimed as Canada swatted off the Arachnids, which were numbers 9 and 10 in the now growing spider graveyard on the bottom of Canada's boot. France shuddered, Disney movie marathon had finally cracked him.

Just in time for the others to get back from work.

"Hello all. What did we miss?" England said, walking over.

"Disney movie marathon to crack France, Prussia and Dakota getting ten spiders on their heads between the two of them, and China is cooking dinner." Brooke listed off. "Other than that, nothing!"

"Disney movies?" England said incredulously.

"It worked." Brooke shrugged. She then shivered, despite the temperature. "Though I might have nightmares as well."

A/N: Wow, Prussia is a controversial character. CanDoAnythingNow and myself had a two page-long color rant over her uniform. In 72 point Bold Times New Roman font. Prussian Blue vs Anime Black.

Kumajirou's weight is based on actual Polar bear cub weights, the US standard weight is roughly 50 to 60 pounds. Or the weight of a small child. Canada's got some serious muscle.

Poor France, Disney movie marathon should be considered cruel and unusual punishment.

Read and Review please! Or there will be more suicidal spider attacks...