Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, The Secret Life of The American Teenager, Batman, Mulan, or Disneyland.

Songs Used: Happy Working Song- Enchanted

Back With the Cullens…

"WHO DID THIS?" screamed Esme at the top of her lungs.

Emmett walked forward. "Well it was Jasper's idea to start a cooking show in the kitchen…"

"JASPER!"

"IT'S ALICE'S FAULT!" Jasper screamed, pointing at Alice. "SHE NEVER TOLD ME THIS WOULD HAPPEN!"

"ALICE!"

"IT'S EDWARD'S FAULT!" hollered Alice. "IT WAS HIS IDEA!"

"EDWARD!"

"IT'S BELLA'S FAULT!" shouted Edward. "SHE'S THE ONE WHO WANTED COOKIES!"

"BELLA!"

"IT'S ARO'S FAULT!" wailed Bella. "HE'S THE ONE WHO STOLE MY MILK SO I COULDN'T BAKE COOKIES AT MY HOUSE!"

"ARO!"

Aro came crashing through the roof. "Yes Ma'am?" he saluted Esme.

She glared at him. "MY KITCHEN!"

Aro eyed the kitchen and let out a low whistle. He walked over to Esme and put his hand on her shoulder. "Let it out Esme. Just sing it out."

Esme took a deep breath as the background music started. "Come my little friends/ As we all sing a happy little working song/Merry little voices clear and strong/Come and roll your sleeves up/ So that we can pitch in/Cleaning crud up in the kitchen/ As we sing along/And you'll trill a cheery tune in the tub/ As we scrub a stubborn mildew stain/Lug a hairball from the shower drain/To the gay refrain/ Of a happy working song."

"Oh I know this song!" said Aro happily as he got a broom. "It's from Snow White right?"

"We'll keep singing without fail/ Otherwise we'd spoil it/Hosing down the garbage pail/ And scrubbing up the toilet/ Ooh!/ How we all enjoy letting loose with a little/ La-da-da-dum-dum/While we're emptying the vacuum/ It's such fun to hum/A happy working song/ Oo-ooh/A happy working song/"

Esme smiled at her children and Aro as the cleaned up her kitchen. She wandered into the living room. "Oh, how strange a place to be/Till Edward comes for me/ My heart is sighing/Still, as long as I am here/I guess a new experience/ Could be worth trying/Hey! Keep drying!"

"I DON'T LIKE YOU LIKE THAT!" screamed Edward from the kitchen.

"You could do a lot when you got/Such a happy little tune to hum/While you're sponging up the soapy scum/We adore each filthy chore/ That we determine/So friends even though you're vermin/We're a happy working song"

"WE'RE NOT VERMIN!" screamed Jasper.

"Singing as we fetch the detergent box/Or the smelly shirts and the stinky socks/Sing along/If you cannot sing then hum along/As we're finishing our happy working song!/ Ah...wasn't this fun?"

"No!" sniffed Bella. "If I wanted to clean someone's house I would have stayed home!"

"Then why didn't you?" asked Rosalie, appearing in the kitchen.

"THERE'S NO MILK IN MY HOUSE!" Bella burst into tears.

"Bella," said Jasper, exasperated, "There's no milk here either."

Aro looked stunned. "I didn't realize dairy products were so important to you."

"SHUT UP!"

"I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!" screamed Aro, his eye twitching, "THE TRUTH WILL BE REVEALED!"

"Wait Bella," said Alice, frowning, "I thought you were lactose intolerant."

"No," said Bella miserably, "That's Mike Newton."

"What?" screamed Aro. "EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!" and he ran through the wall, leaving a gaping hole in his wake.

"Why does he always do that?" asked Esme sadly. "The door isn't locked."

Back at Mike Newton's House…

"Oh Amy…" sniffed Mike, sitting in front of the TV, "DON'T MARRY BEN! RICKY CARES! DEEP DEEP DOWN!"

All of a sudden, Aro came bursting through the wall. "STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING!"

"WHO ARE YOU?" screamed Mike in fear.

"YOU'RE WORST FEAR!" Aro said darkly. "I'M BATMAN!"

"What do you want from me?"

"YOUR FORCES ARE STRONG!" shouted Aro, falling to the floor. "YOU HAVE PROTECTED YOUR DAIRY WELL!"

"What?" asked Mike, "I'm lactose intolerant."

"I MUST RECRUIT THE STRONGEST, SCARIEST, TOUGHEST WARRIOR I KNOW!" and Aro ran out through his hole in the wall.

"The door wasn't locked!" screamed Mike at Aro's back.

Back in La Push…

"And then my dad told me that I could be president when I grew up." sniffed Leah. "He said he'd even run my campaign. "BUT NOW HE CAN'T CUZ HE'S DEAD!" and she broke down again.

"LEAH OF THE LEASHES!" screamed Aro, bursting through her wall. "I REQUIRE YOUR SERVI- Oh I'm sorry was I interrupting something?" He looked at Jacob and Leah sitting on her bed.

"Wait," said Leah in confusion, "How did you burst through my wall? I'm on the second floor."

"Well it wasn't easy," sighed Aro. "I had to buy a ladder, a grappling hook, several pounds of dynamite, and 37 packs of spearmint gum." he frowned. "Oh, and your neighbor might not be happy with the fact that I blew up their backyard."

Leah sighed. "MY DOOR WAS UNLOCKED YOU IDIOT!"

"Well," sighed Aro. "What fun would that have been?"

Seth burst into Leah's room (using the door like a normal person of course.) "Leah, I heard the dynamite and I-" he eyed Jacob. "When did you get here?"

"I can explain!" said Jacob nervously. "There's a perfectly good reason as to why I'm here."

"What are you doing?"

"Well," said Aro, concentrating, "by the looks of it, I'm pretty sure we're standing."

Leah rolled her eyes. "OKAY, EVERYONE OUT OF MY ROOM!"

"But Leah!" whined Jacob.

"But Leah!" screamed Aro.

"Okay peace." said Seth, walking out of his sister's room.

"SETH!" screamed Sue Clearwater. "WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?"

"LEAH SNUCK ARO AND JACOB INTO THE HOUSE!"

"OH, THAT'S NICE!" screamed back Sue. "ASK JAKE IF HE WANTS TO STAY FOR DINNER!"

"But not me?" sobbed Aro. "NOBODY LOVES ME!" and he jumped out the window sobbing. "I'll just go home!"

Back at the Cullen's…

"And that's what I did today." finished Aro.

"Aro," sighed Carlisle, "You know you don't live here right?"

"I DON'T?" Aro asked in horror.

"No." Carlisle rubbed his temples. "And I'm not a therapist. Why does everyone think I am?"

"YOUR NOT?" cried Alice from the living room. "EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!"

"Go home Aro."

"IM HOMELESS!" he sobbed. "I JUST REALIZED THIS!"

"Where have you been staying?" asked Carlisle in wonder.

Back at Disneyland…

"So I found these plans for World Domination in the back of the It's A Small World Ride." said guard number 1. "What should we do with em?"

Guard number 2 shrugged. "Burn them."

"What?" screamed Aro later that evening, "WHERE ARE MY PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION?

a/n: So there's been a lot of Aro love lately! Which is funny, because originally Aro wasn't going to be in the story at all. Now I'm glad he is. And you know what makes for a loveable Aro? REVIEWS!