Chapter 5 - Hormones (Posted 23 September 2011)

"Can I stay here tonight?" Ethan asked suddenly, pulling out of the hug.

"Sure." Benny answered. "You know you don't have to ask. But I don't have the air mattress anymore."

"What happened to it?" Ethan asked.

"Well I wanted to see if I could make it into a waterbed..."

"Oh boy." Ethan said under his breath.

"So I took it outside and got the hose and put the pointy nozzle on it. Then I put it in the air hole. And it worked! It filled up with water! When it was full I put the plug in the hole and I laid on it, it was awesome, it was just like a waterbed."

"That's not so bad." Ethan said. "I have to sleep on a water mattress instead of an air mattress, it's not like-"

"Wait." Benny said, looking guilty, "there's more to the story."

Ethan took a deep breath. "Okay."

"I laid there for a few minutes when I had this idea to see if I could use it as a trampoline. I mean, we jump on it when it has air in it, so what's the difference, right? So I stand up and I'm jumping on it, and it's really fun because the water makes it hard to keep my balance. And it's all going fine, until I decide to try a butt bounce."

"Benny." Ethan laughed through his look of mild disbelief.

"Yeah. So I jump as high as I can and tuck my legs in, you know like criss-cross apple sauce, and I land on it and FOOSH!" Benny threw his hands in the air. "The mattress exploded! Water flew everywhere. It startled me at first, but it looked really cool."

"Let me get this straight." Ethan said, "You filled my mattress with water and then exploded it."

Benny nodded. "Yep."

Ethan chuckled. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Aw, you know you love me."

"That's true enough."

"I'll buy you a new mattress."

"Come on, you know I didn't mean it like that." Ethan assured him. "I'll just use your sleeping bag."

"Um..."

"Please tell me you didn't blow up your sleeping bag too."

"Nope. I just used it as a cushion when I was jumping on the mattress. It's drying in the attic."

Ethan couldn't contain the small laugh that came as a result of Benny's statement. "Where was I when all this happened?"

"Puking, apparently."

"That was just this morning?"

"I wanted to wait for you, I swear! But it was so fun, and I didn't think it was gonna blow up. I was gonna show you after school today."

"Don't worry about it, Benny." Ethan said, sensing a little guilt in his friend's voice. "I have an old air mattress I can use until I get a new one. But I don't know where I'm going to sleep tonight. I don't feel like going home."

"Aren't you mad at me?"

"What?" Ethan was a little confused by the question. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"I don't know."

"Well I'm not." Ethan stood and extended his arms down to help Benny up as well. Benny grabbed his hands and pulled himself up. They were standing close, their faces barely an inch apart. "Um... Benny?"

"Yes?" Benny smiled, wrinkling his nose up.

Ethan lost his train of thought. "Your nose..."

"Huh?" Benny immediately began digging around in his nostrils. "Do I have a booger?"

"No." Ethan laughed. "I... it... you're so cute when you do that..."

"Do what?"

"Uh... when you wrinkle your nose like that... it's just... it's really adorable."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome..." Ethan felt like he couldn't quite catch his breath.

Benny squinted his eyes a little in concern. "Are you okay?"

"I don't feel so good."

Benny knew what he meant immediately and turned around to grab his garbage bucket. He thrust it into Ethan's arms just in time for him to throw up into it. Then he grabbed him by the elbow and dragged him over to the bed. "Sit down, E."

Ethan obey him, sitting on the side of the bed and leaning forward as he continued to spew into the bucket. Then he felt something gently rubbing his back. He looked out the corner of his eye and saw it was Benny trying to comfort him. When he was pretty sure it was all out, he sat back.

"Better?" Benny asked. After receiving a silent nod from Ethan, he took the bucket out of the room. He returned a few minutes later with the bucket, now clean, and a glass half-filled with a red liquid. He placed the bucket on the floor near Ethan and held the glass out to him and said, "Mouthwash."

"Thanks." The sound was a bit scratchy, and Ethan couldn't be sure if Benny understood it or not. He took the glass and sipped the rinse into his mouth, swishing it around for a minute before spitting it back into the glass. Benny grabbed it and walked out of the room again.

He came back empty-handed this time and turned his bedroom light off. Finding his way over to his bed, he crawled in and pulled Ethan down next to him. It wasn't strange to either of them, because they'd often slept together when one of them was sick. "Do you mind sleeping here tonight?" Benny asked with a whisper.

"No." Ethan answered.

"You're gonna be fine, Ethan." He said, wrapping his arms around him. "Whatever we decide, you're going to be fine. I'm gonna take care of you."

"You always have taken care of me." Ethan said sleepily. "We take care of each other. That's how it works."

"I know. I'm just reminding you that I'll always be here for you."

X

Benny was the first to wake up the next morning. He looked at Ethan, who was snuggled against him, and began thinking about what he'd done. He felt terrible. Causing such a major change in his best friend's life, all because of his inability to grow up fully.

However, he wasn't really too scared of being a father. He kind of liked it, in fact. He did have a very mature way of thinking, it was only momentary lapses in his adulthood that forced him to act like a child. And he felt certain that his irresponsibility wouldn't be a hindrance to him with Ethan there to balance it out. Personally, he thought they'd make great parents. He never considered the possibility of them having a child together, but now that it was happening he couldn't believe how appealing it was. They were great together. They'd been together for years. They knew everything about each other. There was rarely a reason to feel shy about telling the other something, and even if there was, eventually they remembered that nothing could change the way they think about each other. They supported each other, too.

He thought about Ethan's initial reaction. How angry and hurt he was. He'd felt like he just wanted to dig a hole and lay deep in the earth for the rest of his life just so he'd never have to see that face on Ethan again. But then later, he'd seemed much more calm, and willing to talk about it with him.

Benny knew what he wanted to do with the baby. He'd always known. Because just like Ethan said, everybody has a plan, even if they believe it would never happen.

He wanted to keep it, of course. If it was him and some girl he really didn't care about, he would have come right out and say it. But this was Ethan. His best friend who'd done anything and everything for him. They cared about each other. Even if it wasn't on that romantic level, they knew that they were the person who mattered most to the other. And it wasn't really a secret to the rest of the world either. So he wanted to make sure he was able to consider all his options, and Benny would be sure to hear him out so they could make the decision together.

And the idea of marrying Ethan didn't seem bad at all. If they got married, they'd always be together. And they'd never have to worry about someone else coming along to separate them. It wasn't a bad idea at all. But, if they did decide to do that, it was still a long time away. And Benny knew that there was someone else who could influence Ethan.

Benny smiled a little when Ethan's eyes peeled open. "Morning."

"Good morning." Ethan said.

"How're you feeling?"

Ethan took a breath. "Okay, I guess."

"You don't feel sick?"

"Mm-mm." ethan shook his head.

"That's good."

"I'm kind of hungry, actually."

"Oh? Let's go get breakfast then." Benny stood.

"Nah, never mind. I don't feel like getting up." Ethan rolled over and pulled the blankets over his head.

Benny crossed his arms and smirked. "Ethan, if you don't get up, you know what I'm going to do."

"I don't care." Ethan's voice was falsely sleepy and muffled by the blanket. "It's warm in here."

"I will do it." Benny warned jokingly.

"No you won't."

"Wanna bet?" Benny climbed back on the bed, legs on either side of Ethan. He pulled back the blanket and raised an eyebrow at him.

"No," Ethan said with a serious face, "please don't, Benny."

"I warned you, Ethan." Benny said, holding his hands up.

"I'll get up, just please don't-" Ethan was cut off when he saw Benny's hands come towards him and start tickling his sides. He began to laugh. "Aha, no..." Being tickled always made him laugh uncontrollably. He kept giggling, and when he looked up to see Benny's I'm-trying-to-look-evil-but-I-can't-stop-laughing-at-you-because-you're-so-cute-when-I-tickle-you face, he just closed his eyes and laughed harder. "Benny, stop it. I said I'll get up." His body felt weak, but he tried to kick Benny off of him so he could defend himself. But Benny was sitting on his legs, so he had to try and regain control of his arms.

"You promise you'll get up?" Benny stopped tickling him, waiting for his answer.

Ethan used this opportunity to put his hands on Benny's shoulders and push him. They both ended up falling off the side of the bed with a thud. Benny landed on the floor on his back. Ethan landed on top of him, straddling his hips and still holding onto his shoulders, their chests almost touching. They stared at each other, startled both by the fall and the contact. Benny sat up half way, leaning on his elbows for support. Suddenly Ethan pushed forward, knocking Benny back down and touching their lips together.

Benny didn't know what was happening. Well, he told himself he didn't. Which is why he didn't push Ethan away. Because he wanted to know what it was. Their lips moved together slowly, feeling each other out for the first time. Benny's hands found their way to Ethan's hips, holding him steady against him.

And then it was over. Ethan jumped to his feet, staring down at Benny with tears in his eyes. "Sorry..." he said, trying to wipe the tears away. "Hormones."

"It's okay, don't cry, Ethan. Please don't cry." Benny stood and hugged Ethan loosely, cradling his head against his chest. It was clear to him now that these mood swings would be a lot different than his grandmother's.

But Ethan kept sobbing against him, soaking his shirt. He clamped his arms tightly around Benny. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I don't know why I..."

"Ethan." Benny rubbed his back. "It's fine. I know you're just really hormonal. It's okay. It's probably worse in you because you're a guy and you're not used to those hormones to begin with."

"I don't like this, Benny." Ethan said, trying to stop the tears from flowing. "I can't control it. I don't want to be like that."

"I'm sorry." Benny said quietly.

Ethan took a deep breath. "No." he pulled slightly away from Benny and tried wiping the tears away again. They stopped mostly, leaving his eyes puffy and red and his face still damp. "It's okay. It's not your fault. It's just something I'll have to get used to."

"But it is my fault."

Ethan looked at him. "Listen to me. You may have gotten me pregnant, but it is not your fault that it's making me crazy with hormones. This is going to be difficult for both of us. But we can do this."

"Yeah." Benny nodded. "We can."

"I just... remember what you said about... how I was there for you when... when you lost your parents?"

Benny gave another slight nod.

"Well, I need you like that now. I... I can't do this without you, Benny."

"You don't have to." Benny promised.

"I know. But I also know how these things go. Someone gets pregnant and even if they were great friends, it could end horribly. I just don't want that to happen to us."

"I don't plan on letting that happen."

"Well neither do I. But what if something happens, Benny? What if we can't agree on something and we fight and we end up hating each other?"

Benny chuckled.

"Don't laugh at me. I mean it."

"That's impossible." Benny said. "Think about it. Us? Hating each other? Really, Ethan."

Ethan sniffed. "Saying that doesn't mean it won't happen."

Benny just looked at him with a smirk.

"Now you're just mocking me." Ethan crossed his arms and turned away, Benny's arms still wrapped around his midsection.

"I'm not mocking you." Benny corrected. "I'm just reminding you that we've been friends since we were babies. And we've had plenty of fights. Big fights. Don't you remember that time you punched me right in the eye? I looked part raccoon for weeks!"

Ethan laughed a little at the memory. "Hey, you bit me first."

"Because you dared me to."

"I didn't think you'd do it!" Ethan was laughing heartily by now.

"We fight, Ethan. But have we ever stopped being friends?"

"No..." Ethan admitted.

"There you have it, then."

"But, Benny..."

"Shh." Benny interrupted. "Stop. The last thing you need right now is to stress out about it. I promise you I'm going to be here the whole time, okay?"

Ethan closed his eyes and nodded. "Okay."