Chapter 6 - If You Were A Girl (Posted 22 October 2011)

"I don't want to go to school." Ethan said on Monday morning. He'd spent the whole weekend at Benny's house, afraid to face his parents.

"You have to go. I have to, so you have to." Benny said with a small laugh.

"But I don't feel good."

"Come on." He tried to pull him out of the bed. "You know that'll go away in a few minutes."

"Benny...?" Ethan looked at him with sad eyes.

"Yeah?"

"How long does the morning sickness last?"

Benny sighed and sat down next to him on the bed. "Weren't you paying attention in Health last year?"

"No, I was too busy watching you stick things like carrots and straws up your nose."

"Until the end of the first trimester."

"I have to be like this for three months?" Ethan whined.

"Sometimes it ends sooner." Benny reminded him. "It varies from person to person."

Ethan sighed. "And then I'll start to get fat." Benny giggled at him, making him blush. "What are you laughing at?"

"You." Benny chuckled again. "You sound like a girl."

"Pfft." Ethan closed his eyes. "For all this, I might as well be a girl."

"No. I definitely like you better as a boy."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Well, for one thing, I can't imagine you with boobs." Benny said, poking his chest.

Ethan laughed and looked into Benny's eyes. "That's not what I mean."

"I know. I just... I like you as a guy because we can do guy things together. If you were a girl, well, you'd be the awesomest girl ever, but... you know... I think... if you were a girl... we wouldn't be able to be just... friends." Benny heard his voice begin to sound shaky and felt his hands become slightly clammy as he admitted this.

"What?" Ethan's voice was quiet.

"I just mean that... if you were a girl..."

Ethan's lips curled into a tiny smile. "You'd like me?"

"Yeah..."

"It's okay. I'd like you too. If you were a girl, that is."

"Of course." Benny smiled back at him. "But let's be honest. If one of us had to be a girl, it'd be you."

"What makes you think that?" Ethan asked, offended.

"Let's see... how do I say this..." He leaned in and whispered into Ethan's ear, "If you and I had sex, who do you think would be the girl?"

Ethan's face turned bright red as he sat up. "Benny!"

"What?" Benny asked, not appearing embarrassed at all. "It's true."

"Why would we ever have sex?" His blush deepened and his voice cracked.

"If we were in love. Duh. Now come on, get dressed. I'll be downstairs waiting for you."

Ethan watched as Benny walked out of the room. His face was still hot from blushing at what Benny said. He got dressed, putting on Benny's clothes as he had been doing all weekend. For some reason Ethan just didn't feel like going home. Well, it wasn't just for some reason, he knew the reason. He didn't want to face his parents. What would they say? What would they think? Hiding his powers from them was easy compared to this. You can't hide a pregnancy forever. Even if they did decide to give it up, his weight gain would eventually become painfully obvious.

X

"Benny!" Ethan whined as a hand reached in the vending machine and removed his soda. "That's mine."

Benny reached into his pocket and pulled out six quarters, placing them in Ethan's palm. "Here. Now it's mine."

Ethan sighed. "Fine. I'll just get another one." He made to put a quarter into the slot, but Benny reached out and stopped him, shaking his head. Ethan simply sent him a questioning, and slightly annoyed, look.

"E, remember what Gramma said. No caffein."

"Ugh." Ethan hit his head against the vending machine. "But I have a headache."

"Then I'll go get a tylenol out of my locker. Buy a water with that money, okay?"

"Yeah."

"Did you take the vitamin she gave you? You're supposed to take it every day."

"No. No, I forgot," Ethan admitted.

"I thought so. I brought them with me just in case. Get your water and then meet me at my locker?"

Ethan groaned. "Okay, I'll be right there."

X

After watching Ethan take his pill, they finished the school day and began walking home together.

"You know," Benny said, "you can't avoid going home forever."

"I'm not avoiding it," Ethan defended.

"Yeah, you kind of are."

Ethan sighed quietly. "Yeah. I am."

"Your parents will probably think something's wrong."

"Something is wrong. Even though..." Ethan looked away, trying to think of a way to say it without sounding creepy.

"Even though what?"

"Even though... it doesn't really feel that wrong. I mean... obviously it feels strange being... you know, pregnant... but the more I think about it, the less scared I get."

"Really?" Benny couldn't hid the smile that came as a result of hearing Ethan's words. He didn't think anyone could ever understand how good it made him feel to hear him say that.

"Yeah. Really. It's strange. It's something that shouldn't be happening. But it almost feels... good. It's like... I don't know, it just... whenever I think about it, and I picture it in my head, it makes me smile."

"That's... awesome."

"It is?"

"Definitely." Benny mentally breathed a sigh of relief.

"Why?"

Benny bit his lip. He wasn't ready to tell Ethan his position on keeping the baby yet. "Well... because. You're handling it really well. Sometimes an unexpected... thing like this can cause depression and all kinds of things and... I'm just glad none of that is happening to you. I'd feel so much worse if you were hurting..."

"I don't want you to feel guilty. If this had to happen, I'm glad it was with you. You're my best friend. And you're right, we can get through this. Together. I've been thinking of it as a test of our strength as friends, but I really don't think there's any situation that could possibly be strong enough to tear us apart, so... why are you staring at me like that?"

Benny giggled. "You went all Inspirational Ethan on me, dude."

"Oh." Ethan laughed. "Sorry. But you know what I mean."

"Yeah. I do."

"But I still don't want to go home."

"E, if you're worried... about telling your parents, you know I'll do whatever I can to make it easier for you, right? And you don't have to tell them yet. We can wait until-"

"It's not that." Ethan shook his head. "Well, not just that. I just... I don't want to go home because I... I don't want to be alone."

"You're not alone. You have your parents and you sister and... Sarah..."

"Sarah only comes on Fridays."

"What are we going to tell her?"

Ethan was confused. "Tell who about what?"

"Sarah. About the baby. I'm only asking because I know you like her. And, depending on what we decide, you know... I mean I don't know how she feels about guys with kids."

"I think we'll tell her once we've actually reached a decision." Ethan told him. "But it doesn't really matter what she thinks. I mean it does, she's our friend, but think about it. If we give the baby up for adoption, it won't be ours anymore. She wouldn't have to worry about it. And if we keep it... we're gonna get married, so it wouldn't matter whether she likes guys with kids or not because I'd be with you."

"And you really wouldn't mind marrying me? You wouldn't get to date Sarah or anyone else..."

Ethan let a tiny smile show on his lips, a smile not left unnoticed by Benny. "I already told you I wouldn't mind. I'd like it, in fact. It would be like a physical symbol of how much we care about and support each other."

"That's what marriage usually is, Ethan." Benny chuckled.

"Well then there you have it, it'll all work out."

"Can't argue with that logic."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure." Benny nodded.

"To be completely honest, I'd consider marrying you even if we don't keep him."

Benny stopped in his tracks. "What?"

Ethan stopped and looked at him. "You heard me."

"But did I hear you correctly?"

"Yeah. I said I'd marry you even if we weren't having a baby. I'm pretty sure the idea would have occurred to one of us eventually."

"Why?" Benny wondered, though he didn't mention having thought about it already. A few times.

"Because. If you think about it, we're kind of perfect for each other. I know we're both guys, but... like what we were saying before about if one of us was a girl, we totally would have fallen in love. Don't you think?"

Benny's eyes were wider than usual, surprised at Ethan's straightforwardness. "Yeah, I guess..."

Ethan bit his lip, unsure of how to continue. Then he started walking again, slow enough for Benny to catch up as they moved to a more acceptable pace. "It's just a theory."

"It's... an interesting one.'

"Yeah. I'm hungry."

Benny laughed again, relieved to have the subject changed. "Well come back to my house for dinner. And at least call your parents to let them know you're safe."

"They know I'm safe. I'm with you."

"I'm not a superhero. I'm almost as scrawny as you."

"You think I'm scrawny?" Ethan looked hurt, his eyes turned down as if bracing for impact.

"Yeah, but in a good way."

"In what way is that good?"

"...It's cute on you. Besides, it's not like I'm Mr. Macho-Buff-Man or anything, I'm thin too. Which is why you should call your parents, so they don't think your wimpy best friend couldn't save you from a predator."

"Okay, I'll call. But can I stay with you one more night? I'm just not ready to see them. It's like I'll walk in there and they'll see it on my face or something."

"Of course you can stay. You could move in for all I care, but you really are going to need to go home sometime."

"I know. But thanks."