8.

The road was slick with grey mush of left over snow. The sun had paid a visit melting all of the winter's snow. Sending rivers of water along the gutters of the road and making slush.

My hands held tightly to the steering wheel as I tried to keep a steady head and keep my car straight. My heart pounded in my chest and I could almost feel it hit my ribs in a painful pump. My fingers shook and I held tighter to stop them.

When I came to a stop at the light, I glanced at the badly crinkled notebook paper which contained the address I was headed to. My head swam as I took in what I was about to do.

My heart decided to pick up the paste and I felt sick. I took a deep breath and began to drive. I was determined on this. I wouldn't chicken out. I had wanted to pay this woman a visit since July but I never had the nerve or right to do it. But I felt I had to. It was a step of moving past my old life.

It was a step of moving on.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to move on. I didn't want to forget him, or his smile, or the way his eyes would sparkle in light and look like bright emeralds. His million dollar eyes. I didn't want to forget his musical laugh or his comforting arms or his stubbornness and protectiveness. I didn't want to forget him.

I didn't want to forget his flaws which made him that much more special, which made him that much more perfect. How I was expected to forget my one and only love? I couldn't but I could stop living how I was.

I could stop acting as though I was the only one suffering and the only without a love. I could stop acting as though I didn't have a right to live. I could stop hurting others around me and I could stop expecting him to come back.

My heart broke with everything I listed.

I glanced at the sheet again and took a turn into a small neighborhood. The houses were stuck so close and looked exactly the same. Each painted a dreary grey and each had plain white shutters.

Some tried to stick out. One house was painted a bright yellow. It was like a speck of sunshine had fallen and brought light to the dull neighborhood. The shutters were painted a bright blue and it looked like a house from a child's story book. As I glanced at the paper I realized the sunshine house was my destination.

Sucking every ounce of courage I had in me, I parked in the driveway and got out of my car.

I knocked on the door and waited. There was no response. I rang the doorbell and could hear a muffled bark.

Slowly I heard footsteps approach the door and I ignored the screaming instinct to run back to the car.

The door open and she looked at me with a wide smile.

She was tall and graceful. Her smile seemed to take her whole face and her baby blue eyes twinkled. They looked like the summer sky and her white complexion seemed to highlight them. Her eyes seemed so light and full of wonder. It was like staring into a child's eyes.

Her blonde hair was piled on her hair in a messy bun which suited her features. She wasn't much older than me. Her smile dimmed a bit but it held its place as she stared back at me.

"Can I help you?" she asked her voice light and airy.

I realized I must have been at the wrong house and my face flushed in heat.

"I'm looking for Kate Denali. I was told she lived here?" I questioned and the woman nodded.

"I'm Kate," she said holding out her hand and I took it. She shook it briefly and I smiled sadly and glanced at her.

"I'm Bella…Cullen," I said and her smile faded. "Oh," was all she said.

She opened the door and stepped back. "Please come in," she said softly and I walked in.

"Oh, he was a wonderful man. He was so full of laughter and life. Very adventurous and tough. He was my own knight in shining armor," she said as I flipped through the photo album.

He was tall and strong. Dark hair and light eyes. His smile was mischievous, as though he had stolen what you wanted and wouldn't give it back with out a price. He seemed like he could throw his head back and laugh.

The pictures where in different scenes. One he was on a horse looking tall and elegant. Another he was on a boat a fish in his hands. Then he looked almost to be in the sky but I realized he was on a high building.

He did look adventurous and daring.

"I'm so sorry for your lost," I whispered as I closed the book and let it lay in my hands.

"As I am yours," she said.

"I feel so terrible. It was all my fault," I whispered and she shook her head as she placed her pale hands on mine.

"Oh, no Bella, it wasn't. You can't blame yourself for the weather, for how fate works," she said softly and I looked down at our hands.

"What was your Edward like?" she asked trying to change the subject and my throat clogged.

I realized that she could talk about her Garrett like he was away for a meeting. I couldn't even say his name with out tears falling down but I would try. I would try to be strong like her.

"He was kind. He always thought and put others before himself. And he was so happy all the time. His eyes would sparkle in the best ways; he looked as though he had tons of secrets you wanted to know. And his smile, it brought the light to anyone," by this time I could feel the tears slip down my cheeks but I was absorbed in talking about him. To let someone know how amazing he was that I didn't stop.

"He was so stubborn all the time. He had to have it his way and he was so full of love and laughter. He always thought to make me happy and he was so comforting. You could fall in love with him the moment you met him. It was hard not to," I had to stop now because my throat was tight. She handed me a tissue and I wiped the tears off my cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I admire your strength. How you could share his memory when I choke up," I apologized and looked down. She just laughed, it was light and airy.

"How did you cope? How did you let it go?" I asked desperately needing to know.

"It was hard at first. I wanted to know how I could feel so cold and dead inside yet feel my life and warmth underneath my finger tips. I wanted to be dead for a long time. I didn't think it was fair to live, but then I took a good look in the mirror one day. My face was somber and I had realized for the first time my eyes had aged," she said and I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, that we all age. Our skins become lose our hair grey, but our eyes stay forever young. They don't change. But when your eyes start to change and start to age, you know life is gone. Garrett use to tell me that all the time. I knew I would be making him unhappy so I stopped it. I cherished his memory and lived my life, like he wanted me too. I did it all for him and he's enough to keep me going," she said and her eyes watered.

My eyes fogged and I felt like someone stuck cotton down my throat. It was painful. She loved him enough to move on and live like he would want her too and I couldn't. It wasn't because I didn't love Edward; it was because I was afraid. Afraid of forgetting even the littlest part of him.

I closed my eyes and looked away.

She cleared her throat a little and shifted.

"Do you have a picture? I would love to see it?" she said trying to lighten the mood and I nodded. I dug through my bag and found it. It was the picture that was at Esme's mantel.

My face buried in his chest and his face glowing as he held me. I handed it to her and she sighed.

"Ah, you guys look so lovely together," she said staring at it for a minute before handing it back. I smiled weakly.

"You let your eyes age," she said softly and I looked away at the smaller details of her house.

"I know," I sighed and then stared at my twiddling hands. After a short silence which seemed to drag on I looked into her eyes.

"How do accept it? How can you wake up and know he's not there?" I asked. This was the biggest bewilderment to me. I needed to know how she accepted it. How she was able to wake every morning and know that he wouldn't be wrapping his arms around her, that he wouldn't kiss her, that he would show her love.

"Because I know, that we'll be together again and when we do reunite we won't be separated again," she said with a small smile and then broke into a giggle.

"How can you be so sure?" how could she possibly know there was something after our life.

"Because the love I felt for him. It was strong, we were meant to be. And a love like that can't be broken, not even death can try to tear it apart," she said and I stared into her eyes.

And as I looked into her baby blue eyes and memories flashed through my mind I knew she was right. A smile broke across my face and I knew then I had changed my eyes.

"You're right," I whispered knowing I had heard those words before but had forgotten about them.

Until now.

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He twirls me effortless and I spin my dress floating around me. I smile as he brings me back in and we begin to sway. He mouths the words to the song and I laugh laying my head in his shoulder.

He twirls me again and I spin glancing above me. The sky is dark and black but it's speckled with light. The moon seems to shine bright and gold and makes a personal spotlight for us.

The air is sweet with summer and laughter. The night is warm and everyone seems to just laugh and dance.

Esme's birthday is wonderful; it's held by the lake, with music, food, family, and friends. The lake casts reflections of the sky. We dance on the summer grass as the dew trails on our ankles and the grass caress out every step.

Edward smiles down on me. His face aglow by the lights and his eyes twinkling and shining with joy and happiness. He takes my breath away just looking at him and I feel my heart swell with love for this amazing man.

"I love you," he says just as I wanted to hear it and kisses my nose. I raise my head and he places his kiss on my lips. It's sweet and taste like summer itself. He smells like honey and sunshine and I can feel his arms flex on my back as he supports me.

"I think I love you more," I say and he laughs.

"Wow the girl that couldn't love, has more love than I?" he says in mock surprise. I laugh and playfully hit his shoulder.

"Shut up," I say and I smack his shoulder.

He chuckles once holding me as we take another spin.

"Do you ever think you could love another?" he says his face becoming serious. My good mood goes away and I plant my feet on the ground refusing to continue dancing. Why did he have to ruin the mood? I was enjoying myself.

The others are dancing farther away from us, letting us be by ourselves.

"Bella it's just a question," he says and takes my hand and starts to sway again. I follow slowly angry with him.

"What kind of question was that?" I ask and he shrugs.

"I don't know. I was just wondering," he says and I shake my head.

"No I can't ever find another to love. I love you," I say my anger biting in my words. He shakes his head and laughs again.

"You act as though I asked an offending question. I was just curious," he tells me and my eyes lighten a bit.

"Can you?" I ask.

"Can I, what?" he asks and I stare at him with annoyance.

"Can you fall in love with another person?"

"Me? Fall in love with someone else? Are you serious?" he asks and I smile.

"Of course I can," he teases and I smack him again and he laughs.

"Of course I can't Bella," he says and I lay my head on his shoulder enjoying his heart increasing. He lowers his hands to my waist and I wrap my arms around him.

"You wouldn't ever leave me, right?" I ask holding him enjoying him in my arms. Enjoying him being mine. He is mine and I couldn't imagine a world where he wouldn't be. "Never. I don't think I could even if I wanted to," he whispers in my ear making my hair flutter.

"Bella what we have, it's almost impossible to find. I mean do you really think anything can come between us, between this," he says and pulls away to hold my face in his hand and look me in the eyes. His eyes are sparkling but you could tell he's serious.

"What if something, or someone breaks it?" I ask my eyes clouding. I don't know why these thoughts seem to take over. Maybe it's the perfection of the night or the surreal moment we're in. Maybe because I know that these things just don't happen, not in real life.

Maybe because I keep waiting for it to be over. Waiting for him to go away and realize I can't keep up with his perfection or maybe he'll meet someone that can truly hold his heart.

"Bells, what we have its unbreakable. Do you know what we have? Do you know what it's called?" he asks and I shake my head. He smiles like he's discovered the sweetest candy.

"We have love," he says and I laugh and kiss his lips. He holds me tight and we continue our summer dance underneath the sky.

"So nothing can break it?" I ask my eyes playful as I stare back at him.

"Absolutely nothing," he tells me and pushes a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

"So I can stop waiting for you to go away?" I ask staring at him with hopeful eyes.

"I wish you would. I'm not going anywhere. Here, with you this is where I want to be, until the day I die," he says and his eyes glitter like jewels in light. My heart floats and I feel giddy and happy.

"Me too," I whisper and lay my head on his shoulder. Burying my face in his neck and taking in his wonderful happy scent. His arms wrap around me and I close my eyes as I take in the bliss in the moment. I hum softly to the slower version song and spin with him, feeling reality disappear at our feet.

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I walked to the car. The wind bit at my cheeks and tugged at my hair. I entered the car and messed with the dials trying to get the heat to warm it up. The blue and blacks of night were slowly replacing the day's bright blues like a stone sending ripples across a lake.

The sun was barely visible hanging to the earth with small rays of light. I started the car and pulled out of the driveway. Kate waved from the window her small dog in her hands. I waved back smiling and she turned away.

I hadn't realized how long I stood with Kate. Time passed quickly as we talked about our lost loves and enjoyed knowing someone felt the same way. To have someone to understand.

I knew coming here was the right thing to do and I knew we would become good friends. She understood me and I knew I should have done this a long time ago.

I drove down the dark streets my head in a daze.

I was feeling better. I was feeling lighter and for once I didn't bury myself in his memories and sulk. I remembered him and took comfort in all the memories.

I couldn't be sure when it happened. I couldn't be sure the exact time I heard it, but soon my ears were filled with a loud screeching and the sound of a horn. I remembered my hands trying to turn the wheel and feeling my car slide.

There was a sharp impact and I could feel pain from every side of me. I felt a wet sticky substance drip down my face and could hear another crashing sound in the distance.

I saw his face. He was so clear. It was like he was right there in front of me.

He was my last thought before everything went black.

I know it's a cliffy and a pretty big one. But I promise to update soon if you promise to review. I don't care if it's just 'Please update' I love reviews and the smallest one makes me happy.

So I know that all of you our wondering what happened and in the next chapter I promise you will learn. Anyway leave an awesome review and I will update! Also I thank every one of you for your reviews!!!

Truly Twilighthoic-Tanya