9.
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My eyes fog with unshed tears and my legs move as fast as they can.
"Bella!" I hear him shout behind me but I just move faster. I push the door open and the rain pelts my hair and skin. I continue to walk letting the tears fall down slowly. The rain blends them well and I feel my heart tearing with every step.
I can feel my shoulders shake and I hug myself to keep from falling apart. Everything just seemed to fall apart. I couldn't even look at him.
"Bella!" I hear him again a bit closer but I ignore him and force my feet to move faster. I try to wipe the tears from my eyes to no effect. The water and the tears just kept coming and my shoulders shake harder.
"Stop, Bella, please," he begs and I could hear him better. Over the roar of the rain I could hear him loud and clear. I turn around only to see him a couple feet away.
"I don't want to see you," I say looking at him with cold eyes.
"Just let me explain, please," he says and his green eyes plead with me. They make him look so innocent and so trusting. I feel so used. I shake my head and run away. I can barely see through the curtain of rain fall in front of me.
The sky is dark and black and only lightened by the flash of lightening. Thunder booms all around me making me feel even more alone and afraid. I run faster not sure where my feet are taking me.
I don't know where to go where he won't come looking for me. Even now when I want to hate him I can't because the back of my mind is worrying about him. He would search all night for me, even in the bad weather. My love for him is still so very deep and I can feel the pain trickle through my body.
I had always known this would happen. I just keep trying to push it away. My memories suddenly became sour and I wished I had never met him.
Even as my steps pound against the concrete underneath me I know he will catch up with me. Because my thoughts were somewhere else and because I couldn't see a thing I fall. My knees hit the wet concrete and my hands are out for support.
I don't pick my self up. Instead I just fall on my butt and hold myself together as I cry. I let everything out and soon I feel arms around me. For a moment I just want him to hold me. I grab his T-shirt and just cry into it. I still need him so very much. I want him to cure the very pain he caused.
He holds me and picks me off the ground. He sets me on my feet and I lean into him. Burying myself in his wet shirt and crying as he wraps his arms around me and just holds me.
Then he speaks and I remember why I was running.
"Bella, I—" but he's cut off as my hand slaps his cheek. He looks stunned for a moment but seems to accept it. I start to back away form him and he starts to follow.
"Don't. I don't want you near me," I tell him and take another step back.
"Bella just let me explain. Let me have a chance to tell you and then you could do whatever you want," he begs as I continue to walk backwards and his face soon becomes blurry through the water.
"Then tell me! Tell me why she was all over you, tell me why it didn't look like it was gonna stop!" I yell and stop when he is at least a yard away from me.
I can see even through the blue of the rain his eyes flashing in anger.
"Don't. Did you actually think I would do anything like that?! I told you once I love you, and nothing could change that. What you saw, it was not like you thought. I have no feelings toward her, it was…she just…I didn't even have time to push her off when you came through the door. Bella I would never do anything like this, I don't even…" he trails off pushing his soaking hair out of the way. It tinted and looked a black with tints of red.
He looks frustrated and terrified.
He is terrified.
I look at him, limp in the rain. My hair is weighing down on my shoulders and clump in wet strings. I feel cold as the water comes down hard on us.
I can't stop looking at the raw fear that lies in his eyes.
"I don't want to lose you, Bella. I'm sorry I am, but I didn't do that I wouldn't touch anyone else. I could never," he says and I hear his voice break.
"Have you led her to believe…"
"God, no Bella. She just came on to me. I didn't even encourage anything. It was so unexpected," he tells me seeming to relax at my frozen state or at least happy I'm not running away.
"It's never happen before?" I ask because I needed to know so my heart won't swell with joy only to be crushed again. The image of her still in my head.
"No, Bella. I don't want anyone but you, I've never had," he says and the tears continue to pour down my cheeks. I can't tell them apart from the rain.
"This is not how it's supposed to be. This isn't how I want it," I shout and I push my hair away not knowing what to do. I want to run away and I want to run toward him. I want this never to have happen and I wish that I wouldn't have seen it. I wish I would never have saw her golden red locks pulled around her shoulder as he lips pressed against his. I shuddered again.
"Well Bella what do you want me to do!" he shouts and I just shake my head. Things had not been going well. We had been fighting and bickering and ignoring each other and just been cold. This incident just seemed to add to everything else that was going wrong.
I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to deal with this. I didn't know why are life just seemed too held together by a tiny string straining to keep everything to together.
"Why is this happening?" I ask. He takes a step closer and again I take one back not wanting him near me. He stops and retreats his step. I stay where I am. He's still a yard away from me and I wanted to keep it that way.
"Bella it's life. What happened back there I would never do. Ever. I would never want to cause pain to you purposely. Ever."
"I'm not talking about that! I want to know what happened to us! What happened to the giggles and the kisses and laughs, why is it always yelling and snickering and tears," I shout again burying my fingers in my hair.
"Bella we're under stress we're always tired and annoyed. Everyone goes through tough times, but we go on. The storm passes and we have our light. Nothing is perfect. All the crap you read in those books doesn't exist. Life isn't perfect, but at the end of the day I never regret being with you, I never regret meeting you and I never regret marrying you. I'm still head over heels in love with you at the end of everyday as I was the first time I saw you, and as long as you feel the same way for me, Bella we're gonna get over it." he tells me.
"Even with all the fighting and yelling, I still love you and god Bella I feel sick when I think about what just happen. You have to know, you must get this through your head that I would never ever do anything like that," he says and bows his head looking ashamed of himself.
The tears still seem to fall but his words settle in. He's right. Life doesn't work out perfect and we were going to hit rough times. I already seem to forgive him because I know that I won't be able to live without him. I am too in love with him and I trust him too much and every part of me just wants to hold him.
"I do feel the same way. But I'm the only one that ever gets to touch your lips, ever." I say to him and a smile of relief and joy seem to take over him.
"That's how I want it," he tells me with a soft laugh and I smile.
He takes a step closer and I don't move. He takes another and again I stay still waiting for him to join me.
Then everything seems to freeze. The rain becomes slower and his steps are still. His small smile fades from his face as he glances down to see the bright head lights through the rain.
The car is swerving and you could hear the horn loud and clear as a back ground.
I see his face and I could tell exactly what he plans on doing. My face washes with horror. He starts to run and I start to scream.
"No Edward, don't—"" but he pushes me out of way and I feel my back hit the concrete. And my head hits the edge of the side walk. I can't move. My head feels like it was shattered into a million pieces and my head starts to pound viciously.
I can hear swerving and the horn that never fades until a loud crash fills my ears. The horns stops suddenly and I can hear the sound of breaking glass.
I sit up and rub the back of my head forcing my eyes open. My fingers are red as I glance at them but the rain is soon washing it away. Everything suddenly seems to fast for me to take in. People seem to swarm in from everywhere.
I can see him. I don't take in anything other than that it's him. I try to stand on my wobbly legs and succeed. Slowly I take my steps toward him moving in a daze. He's unconscious and I can't see his chest moving. I fall to my knees and cry.
"Edward you can't go, you can't," I cry and grab onto him. I feel something grab my shoulders and pull me back. I scream again. "Edward please, fight, for me," I try to tell him but there pulling rougher and they get me on my feet.
They start to pull me back and I try to scream, I try to kick, I try to fight but I can't.
"No Edward," I try to shout I try to do something but all that comes out is a sob and whisper. I slump against the person holding me back and my world comes rushing down.
I can hear whispers and gasps from the onlookers. Their voices mend with the rain giving such an eerie feeling to my empty body.
"Oh, is he dead"
"What happened?"
"Someone get help,"
"Oh my god, the driver I think he's dead,"
Everything fills my head.
Sirens seem to float all around me.
They're taking me farther away from him now and once again I start to scream. They're telling me I'm bleeding, that I need help; they're lying and saying everything will be alright.
"Edward," I sob as they push me farther away from him.
My head is pounding so hard and the rain is hitting my eyes and making them sting and my body is so full of pain and grief and suddenly my vision starts to fade. Slow at first. I see black forming around the edges and then everything goes black and I start to fall.
.
.
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"Edward!"
I sat upright on my bed. My eyes squinted against the bright sunlight seeping in through my windows. My room seemed too bright and too white. The sun was too bright for a winter's sun. I looked around as my head pounded.
My fingers flew to my forehead but all I felt was smooth skin. I couldn't even feel a bruise. I try to remember back. I remember my car swerving and I could smell the rusted scent of blood as it traveled down my face.
Shouldn't I have been in a hospital?
My head hurt from confusion and I glanced at the alarm clock.
7:34
Alice would be here soon. I closed my eyes and visions of my dreams pelted me knocking me back on the bed. My throat felt tight and I could barely swallow as I the tears ran down my cheeks.
He wasn't here. He wasn't going to come back. It felt too heavy to accept. Because just like so many years ago when I kept waiting for him to leave, it was the same only I was waiting for him to come back.
But he wasn't going to.
I grabbed his pillow and held it to me. As though it was him, as though I could have him again. I took in his scent which was still so strong on the cloth. It smelled like sunshine and honey and sweetness and summer.
"Edward," I sobbed and curled up close to try and lessen the pain just a fraction. The dream was too much. It felt so real. Like I had relived his death a second time. I felt and heard and smelled everything I did in my dream as I did that very night.
He gave his life to save my stupid one.
And what was worse was that I couldn't even feel him right now. I couldn't trace his essence I couldn't even hear his voice and I needed him so much. This was worse than the time he had decided to teach me a lesson. This was worse because I knew he wouldn't come back again. I would feel his whispers in my ear.
I wouldn't feel the warmth and the pain he brought when he visited me. He was truly gone this time and I could feel it.
The door opened and I squeezed my eyes even tighter. I didn't want to deal with Alice. I didn't want her to come and talk to me and make me feel like crap. I didn't want her to …
"Bella what's wrong?"
I could feel time freeze. Every ounce of my body was hit with pain and hope and hurt and love. The voice was so strong and loud. It wasn't a little whisper in my ear.
I sat up and glance at the door way.
He was there. Standing and looking so very real that my heart shuddered at the point of breaking into millions of pieces.
He looked absolutely beautiful. His hair was tasseled and his eyes looked tired and worn and his face seemed to be a bit irritated.
He smiled a bit mockingly lifting one side of his lip more than the other and my heart doubled its speed.
"Edward?" I questioned.
"Bella?" he mocked in confusion. I was still for only a moment before I stood on the bed untangling my limbs from the thin sheets and running toward him. His eyes widened but he held out his hands for me as I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.
He stumbled backwards a few steps before steadying himself and holding me tightly.
The tears continued to spill over my cheeks.
He was real. I could feel him in my arms. I could feel his warmth and his soft skin and my heart was breaking and swelling and I felt like choking in happiness.
I kissed him letting my lips trail down his jaw and kissing every part of his face I could find.
He groaned and I found my lips on his again. I kissed his neck and tightened my hold on him.
"I love you, I love you so much. It hurts to be away from you. I love you," I mumbled my voice muffled by his skin.
"Bella, Bella what's wrong. Calm down, love," he said trying to push me back but I held my grip and he couldn't break it. He moved and sat on the edge of the bed and positioned me for a better comfort.
Tears came rushing down my cheeks as I took it in. I was here with him and he was so very very real and he smelled just like he use to and I didn't ever want to give him up again.
"Why are you crying?" he asked like what I was doing was the silliest thing ever.
I grabbed his face and looked straight into his eyes. Taking in every speckle and every emotion that flew through it. I looked at his nose and his wonderful lips and square jaw and the small barely visible dimple in it. I took in the exact way his hair fell over his forehead and how it looked ruffled and uncombed yet felt like silk in my fingers.
I saw how he tilted his head in my though and how his eyelashes left long shadows down his cheeks.
"Because I missed you so much. I missed you and I love you and you made me hurt and made me happy beyond belief and because you will never find another person that loves you more than me," I said and attacked his surprised lips. I deepened it and let my tongue trace his lips. I memorized the way he tasted and felt.
He pulled back a moment wearing a happy smile.
"How are you here?" I asked staring at the beauty of him.
"I never left, Bella. What's wrong?" he asked tracing my face softly and I just smiled.
"I missed you so much," I whispered.
"So you're not mad?" he asked but I just shook my head tears still falling from my eyes as I kissed his jaw and down his neck. Running my fingers in his hair.
"Mad? Mad about what?" I mumbled.
"I have no idea. What ever argument we had last night that caused me to sleep in the living room," he said in a whisper as he finally responded better and took control. He sent kisses to my cheeks and neck and traced down my collarbone.
Memories rushed into my head.
"What's the date?" I asked my brows furrowing.
"The 12th," he answered pulling away to stare at me.
"Of what?"
"July," he said looking confused and I stared at him in bewilderment.
"It was just a dream," I said softly as I stared at him and he raised his eyebrows.
"What?" he questioned.
"It was just a dream," I said louder.
He pushed my hair over my shoulder and laid a kiss there following up my neck.
He kissed my cheek and pulled away.
"How could it all be a dream?" I asked my eyes wide. How could I have felt all the emotion and have so many memories. How could it have lasted so long and felt so real?
He smiled and his eyes glinted. Like he knew something I didn't.
He laughed quietly and just shook his head as he kissed my lips once more.
-The End-
And there you have it peeps. It's done. It's a short story I know but it had tons of sweet moments and lots of emotion.
So the question is what happened to Bella? Was it all a dream or is she reunited with Edward in the afterlife?
Well honestly that's your decision to make. Whatever you wanted to happen to her, it happened.
Anyway review for me and make me happy please. I hoped you enjoyed my little story and I hoped the ending was satisfying.
Truly Twilighthoilc-Tanya