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Ron P.O.V

I need some help.

I want to just walk up to her room and knock on her door.

Tell her that we're better than this, that I want to talk about it and move everything out of the way.

I didn't know it'd be this hard…

Hermione P.O.V

I hate myself.

Goodness I'm just messing everything up aren't I?

I feel like he deserves an explanation. I mean I slept with Krum just as I was starting to "develop" so to speak.

I did it because I was starting to discover these new feelings for Ron.

He made me feel…happy?

Fuzzy, giddy, excited.

He made me smile.

And frankly, it scared me.

I figured going all the way with Krum would make those feelings go away, I thought that it would let me move on.

It would clear my head, prove that I was finally grown.

I can't believe I did that. I regret it so much, because I was so young.

And then he left…and I couldn't even begin to describe how much it hurt.

I wish it was Ron who held me that night, who would kiss the top of my head and tell me it's okay.

I wish he was the first one to discover my body.

He would light my senses on fire, and he still does.

And it still scares me.

God damnit, what the hell is going on?

If I were a muggle, I would have gone to a 'bar' by now, and gulped down as many drinks as possible. Because in the muggle world I don't have a reputation.

I'm not part of the triumvirate that saved the wizarding world, and I'm not a Hogwarts teacher.

I'm not the 'greatest witch of our age.'

I'm just Hermione.

There's no pressure to be perfect.

I flopped onto my bed and let out a frustrated sigh.

All I want to do is go and knock on his bloody door, talk everything out, move on.

Then jump him like a fucking rabbit.

Blah this is not okay.

I'm an emotional wreck, and I have students to see, classes to teach.

Until tomorrow I guess…

I should just fall asleep, or else I'll overanalyze this like I always do and end up driving myself into a mental institution.

Ron P.O.V

I grumbled and put my glass down.

The alcohol burned as it made its way down my throat, finally settling into my stomach.

Damn.

I haven't had a drink in ages, and I certainly haven't drank over a girl since…

Well since Hermione.

I ran a hand through my hair and laid down on my couch.

Might as well sleep, no point in staying up.

Hermione P.O.V

I groaned as I felt the warm sunrays trickle in through the window.

I pulled a pillow over my head and groaned.

I really don't want to deal with children today. But I took yesterday off, I can't keep doing that.

Getting up, I stretched and felt my bones creak. I got no sleep last night…

My heart was too heavy.

I looked in the mirror and saw a version of myself I hadn't seen in awhile…

Swollen, red, bloodshot eyes.

A disgruntled look on my face, annoyed.

You could easily make out the pain in my eyes if you cared to look into them.

I'll just make the kids read today, I can't deal.

My walls are starting to fall, brick by brick.

And it's scaring me all over again.

Ron P.O.V

I walked out onto the Quidditch field and took a deep breath.

I was exhausted, and my eyes no doubt revealed that.

My head was a little sore from drinking.

I don't care.

I got no sleep, because I couldn't get her out of my bloody mind.

She's driving me mental.

That girl's going to be the death of me.

Breakfast isn't even on my mind right now, I could honestly care less.

I sat in the middle of the field and just…stared.

There's too much going on, but I'm afraid that if I try to talk to her…

I'll just make it worse.

Hermione P.O.V

I sat at my desk and watched my class pile in, one student at a time.

Awake, laughing, joyous.

Well isn't this friggin' awesome?

"Sit down. I want all of you to read page 394. No arguments. And I don't want any talking do we understand? I'm not in the mood." I spat and watched a few of them go rigid, even Selena.

Once they started reading, I retreated to my desk and heard the door open.

"Umm…Professor?" I snapped my head up and saw Ron walking in with a kid in his grasp.

"I found him trying to skip your class. Thought you'd like to punish him." I stared into his eyes and found a mixture of pain and…was that a hollow look?

"Thank you Mr. Weasley." I coldly stated and watched the kid return to his desk.

"Listen Hermione we have to talk." He whispered. I took a step back and continued my eye contact with him.

"Not now Ron I'm in the middle of a class."

"Their reading, I need to talk to you. We need to talk about everything…about us." He sighed and as hard as I tried I couldn't help the hot tears that escaped my eyes.

No not here.

Not in front of my own students.

"Leave Ron. There is no 'us.'" I coldly stated and felt the tears continue to run down my cheeks.

I don't know why I even got so mad, but I just didn't want to deal right now.

I had to clear my head, and him being around wasn't making it easier.

I know I'm going to have to talk to him about everything, and I know he's going to break down my walls and come storming in.

But right now, I just cant.

And it hurts to see his face as he walks out, the pain that he's feeling because of me.

And I hate myself for it.

My class stares at me in bewilderment, and I quickly look away.

"No one said stop reading." I said and retreated to a room in the back.

Good job Ron, you've managed to break me.

And I don't know how we're gonna fix me.

Quick update isn't it? Okay so next chapter or so Hermione will have that talk with Ron, but I felt like it was too early to put it in this chapter. Sorry guys! Happy Holidays! Gimme a present and review? Pleasee.

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-Talar